South Park: Culture Shock
by BadgerWolf97
Summary: Brooke and her friend Darren are in for a shock after their families suddenly move to the town of South Park. And the people of South Park are in for a few shocks of their own. From pretend magic relics, to violent netherworld beasts, terrifying secrets, and kids who take things a little "too" far, it's really all just another day in South Park.
1. Chapter 1: The New Kids

**Heyyyy, another new storyyyyy. Haha, anyways this kinda recently came about when my best friend and I started joking around and talking about what it would be like if we were in South Park. We spent hours talking and laughing and coming up with all kinds of ridiculous shit, and I decided to write it. He loves reading my stories and I love writing, and I figured I might as well share it. So, this story will be the plots from The Stick of Truth and The Fractured But Whole with original stuff both throughout the two plots and in between them. There will be serious times, but mostly ridiculous ones. Needless to say, this is gonna be a mature rated story. If you're reading this and don't know anything about South Park...boy are you in for a shock. This document was eleven pages but only about three thousand words. Mostly dialogue.**

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"Alright, this is our last stop before we get to our new home. Brooke? Are you sleeping back there?"

The little girl in the backseat exited the game she was playing on her phone and looked up at her mother peering at her from the front passenger seat. "No," she replied hoarsely then cleared her throat. She hadn't said a single word for a few hours now.

"Get out and stretch your legs," her mom told her. "If you have to go to the bathroom then go now. We're not stopping again until we get there." She opened her door and stepped out of the vehicle.

Brooke threw off her seatbelt, opened the car door, and hopped out with a big stretch, happy for a moment outside of the car. They were parked at some kind of rest stop. She saw her stepdad a little way off smoking a cigarette and her mother heading towards the restrooms. She herself didn't need to go, so instead she walked over to a dark green minivan parked a couple of spots away and lightly knocked on the back window.

The window rolled down to let loose the loud shouts of arguing children that were being held within the vehicle. Leaning against the car door with an expression that said "kill me" was a sandy-haired boy Brooke's age.

"Get away from me!" an older girl in the middle row of seats shouted.

"I can't!" said the youngest girl. "We're in the CAR!"

"Would you two shut up already!" the eldest sister turned to yell at them from the front passenger seat. "You're so annoying!"

Brooke watched the arguing girls for a moment with a smirk before looking at the boy. "What's up Darren?"

"Kill me."

"How long have they been yelling at each other?"

"Too long," he grunted.

"What's all the yelling about?" Their mother had returned from the rest stop. Apparently, the yelling had begun after she had left them.

"Leah flung a booger on me!" Sarah said.

"No I didn't! Liar!" the youngest shouted at her.

"Shut up!" the girl in the front shouted.

"Sadie!" their mom fussed.

The arguing fired up again. "Can I please ride with you guys?" Darren asked Brooke.

She laughed a little. "Yeah, okay."

He quickly got out of the minivan and walked with her back to her parents' car. They met up with her mother returning from the restrooms. "You riding with us?" her mom asked.

"Yeah."

Brooke left her door open as they all settled into the car. "Sniper!" she called after locking her seatbelt into place. There was a bark and a large Doberman Pinscher came barreling into the backseat with the two kids, pushing and bumping into them as he settled himself in the middle. "Agh, good boy," she pushed his leg off of her.

"Kind of weird that we're moving to the same place," Darren said as the car backed out. "And a whole different state, too. Colorado's pretty far from Louisiana."

"Yeah," Brooke was staring out the window. "It actually snows in Colorado. Mimsy won't like it. I'll have to pay attention to her tank's temperature."

"Where is she anyway? And your other pets?"

"My dad's getting them all there himself."

"Huh, I've never met your dad."

"That's probably for the best," she said.

"Uh, okay?"

With someone else to talk and play games with, the following two and a half hours passed by before the kids even realized. They had gotten back onto the road before the sun had fully risen, and now it was only eight twenty-seven a.m. when they pulled into a driveway and the car stopped.

"We're here," Brooke's mother said, stepping out of the vehicle.

They exited the car to get a good look at the red house. Darren spotted his mother's vehicle pulling into the driveway of the blue house next door and went over to meet them. Brooke looked over at the moving truck parked in front of her house. Almost everything had already been moved from the truck and into the house.

"This is it," her mom said. "What do you think so far?"

She shrugged and watched her dog start digging in the snow that was covering the lawn. It wasn't even winter, but snow covered everyone's lawns. She retrieved her navy-blue jacket from the car and put it on then followed her parents inside. She didn't care much for the cold.

"Your room is upstairs," her mom told her. "First door on the right. The furniture should be set up already. You only need to worry about unpacking your clothes, toys, and decorations."

"That's a lot," Brooke said, mostly to herself, and walked up the stairs.

She spent the better part of two hours unboxing her things and finding places for them in her new room. The room was surprisingly spacious, bigger than her old room which had been messy and cramped. She had just stopped to take a break when her parents opened the door to check on her.

"How's it coming?" her stepdad asked.

"It's…going," Brooke shrugged.

Her parents exchanged a glance. "I know it's hard to leave everything you knew behind," her mother said. "But we think we can make this work. We know you probably miss your old friends already, but at least one of them is living next door to us now."

"And you still get to keep all your crazy animals," her stepdad added.

"Why don't you go outside and play? I'm sure there are lots of children your age that you can meet."

She didn't care much for that idea. Despite the fact that she could generally get along with anyone, she still didn't really like going look for new people to talk to. But she was tired of unpacking, and figured she might as well explore the town to see what it had to offer. It was better than moping around here all day.

Outside, she met up with Darren again.

"My mom made me go outside to socialize," he said.

"Me too," she said as they began to walk along the sidewalk.

They hadn't gotten very far before coming across two boys fighting on the sidewalk. Both were wearing outfits that looked like they belonged at a renaissance fest. The one wearing fake elf ears was barraging the other boy with a wooden sword and had him pinned to the ground.

"Ah! Help! Somebody!" the pinned boy cried.

"Uh," Darren watched the scene, confused. "Should we do something?"

But Brooke was already upon the attacker and punched him off of the other boy.

"Ow!" the elf boy held his cheek. "No fair! I'm telling my mom!"

"See if I care!" she yelled after him as he ran away.

"Man, I was hoping you'd say no," Darren said as he walked over.

Brooke ignored him and turned to face the blonde-haired boy on the ground. "Uh, are you okay?" she asked as she helped him up.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he said. "Thanks. I didn't realize he had a health potion."

"What?"

"My name is Butters the Merciful. I'm a paladin!"

"Dude," Darren muttered. "What time period did we move to?"

"You guys just moved here today, right?" Butters asked.

"Yeah," Brooke pointed at her new house. "I live in that red house right there."

"Oh boy! We're neighbors! Well we should be friends!"

"Oh, that was easy," she was a little dumbfounded.

"The grand wizard knew of your arrival. He wishes to speak with you. I was just on my way to get you when that elf attacked me."

"Grand wizard?" Darren looked at Brooke who only shrugged in response.

"Yeah," Butters said. "But I didn't know there were two new kids. Well you both better come with me. The wizard lives in the green house, over there!"

"Are we really going to follow that kid?" Darren asked.

Brooke shrugged again. "I've got nothing better to do. Besides, I kinda like him."

The short walk was accompanied by many questions from Butters. "Where ya from?"

"Louisiana," Brooke answered.

"Wow! Did you have a pet alligator?"

"No. But we used to go feed them bread."

"Neat! I like your hair."

"Thanks. I like your outfit."

"Thanks! You don't really talk like you're from Louisiana. Were you born there?"

"What do you mean?"

They had come to a stop at the front door of a green house only two houses down from Brooke's. Butters jumped up to ring the doorbell. Only a few moments had passed when a fat kid dressed in robes and wearing a large blue wizard's hat opened the door. He glanced between them for a second before speaking.

"Ah, yes. The new kids. Your coming was foretold by Coldwell Banker. Good work paladin Butters."

"Thanks! Eh, but you didn't mention there were two new kids, so I just brought both."

"Hm, yes. We don't normally let girls play, but I must admit…she does look more promising."

"Hey," Darren said. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I already want to kick this guy's ass, Brooke thought. But at least now they could safely assume this was all a game the local kids were playing, and that they had not moved to a town full of backwards weirdos. Well, weirdos was still on the table.

"Come!" the wizard kid gestured for them to follow him inside. "I will show you the kingdom."

"Oh, who are your new friends, sweetie?" a lady asked as they entered the house.

"Shut up mom, we're busy." He led the other kids through the living room and into the kitchen then out the glass sliding door leading to the backyard. "Welcome, to the Kingdom of Kupa Keep!"

The backyard had been set up to resemble a makeshift version of an old medieval style place with a large cardboard castle at the back and a banner draped across the front spelling out the "kingdom's" name.

"I am the grand wizard king. Eric Cartman." He walked them over to a table piled with toy weapons where a brunette-haired boy wearing a helmet was pretending to polish a wooden dagger. "This is our armory, tended to by Clyde, a level fourteen warrior." He walked across to a makeshift pen filled with stick horses and a gray cat that was being comforted by a boy in green. "Our stables here are overseen by the level nine ranger, Scott Malkinson, who has the power of diabetes."

Brooke snorted a little, trying not to laugh. That statement had caught her off guard.

"Oh cool," Darren said. "My mom has the power of diabetes."

"Power?" Brooke said.

Cartman continued, leading them over to a kid wearing a dress and golden wig over his orange parka. "And here is the breathtaking and lovely Princess Kenny. The fairest maiden in all the kingdom." He leaned over to Brooke and Darren. "Don't ask why Kenny wanted to be a chick, it's just kind of how he's rolling this week."

"Uh okay?" Brooke leaned away from him and Darren chuckled at her.

"Feel free to look around."

Darren had already started walking over to a large rock off in the corner.

"Be careful," Cartman said. "The Rock of Insanity holds mysterious powers."

Darren touched the rock. "Really?"

"Yup, you're insane now."

"Oh, whoops. Hey, Brooke, I'm insane now."

She gave him an odd look as she passed him and the rock to pick something up. "That's great. Good job. I found a daffodil," she showed him the flower. She went back over to where Cartman and Kenny were standing to wait for Darren. "Do you want this?" she had noticed Kenny watching her.

He giggled and twirled the wig's hair around his finger. "Thank you," he said, his voice muffled by his coat.

She tried not to laugh at his behavior.

"You done yet?" Cartman asked Darren who walked over to them. "You two have been sought out because humans everywhere are in great danger. I need something from you guys, and in return, I am prepared to allow you both into my kingdom, even the girl. You must be very excited."

Brooke shot him a split-second death stare that only Butters and Darren had seemed to notice and both flinched from.

"It's time for your first quest!" he continued, oblivious to the silent threat she had just made. "But first, tell us thy names."

"Brooke." She gave him a hard stare.

He paused, a slight sense of fear faintly passing through him. "O-okay. And you?"

"Oh, uh my name's Darren."

"You have chosen the name, Douchebag."

"What?!"

"Would you like to keep the name, Douchebag?"

"No! I-"

"Very well, Douchebag!"

"What the fuck?!"

"You will now choose your classes. You each can only pick one. Fighter, Mage, Thief, or Jew."

"Did you just say Jew?" Brooke asked.

"Yes, Fighter, Mage, Thief, or Jew."

"Uh…Fighter."

"A girl fighter? Can you really fight?"

"You want me to show you?" she took a step towards him and he jumped back.

"She beat up an elf that attacked me earlier," Butters said. "She sent him packing, she did!"

"Okay, very good." Cartman straightened himself up. "Introducing, Brooke the Fighter! Now your turn, Douchebag."

Darren glared at him. "I don't know. I guess I'll go with Thief."

"A white thief? Huh, never heard of one. Well, we welcome, Douchebag the Thief!"

"Hooray!" Butters cheered.

"Now, visit Clyde and procure yourselves a weapon, and we shall teach you how to fight."

Darren went over to the table but Brooke did not. "What's wrong, Brooke?" Butters asked. "Your first weapon's free."

"I don't need one," she told him. "My fists are good enough, and the rings I wear add to it." She showed him the skull and serpent rings on her fingers which were all made from stainless steel.

"Oh, wow! You really like bones. Too bad we don't have a necromancer class."

"Yes, quite," Cartman eyed her warily. "Guess we don't really need to teach you." He walked over to Darren and Clyde. "Are you done yet? Ah, I see you have procured yourself a dagger. Nice. Alright, now I want you to take your new weapon, and, with the bravery of a noble knight, beat up Clyde."

"What?" Clyde said.

"Kick his ass new kid."

"What'd I do?!"

"I'm the king, Clyde, and the king wishes to be amused! Go on, Douchebag, kick his ass."

"No, I'm gonna kick your ass!" Clyde brandished a wooden sword at Darren.

"No, Clyde," Cartman said. "You have to wait your turn."

"That's lame."

"No, Clyde, it's like olden times. You have to wait your turn, like in the Middle Ages, Clyde! I know it's lame, but that's how we're fucking doing it! Alright Douchebag, bash Clyde's face in. Don't be shy."

"Uh, okay?" Darren said.

Brooke went over with the other kids to watch. "Is this a full contact thing?" she asked Butters.

"Oh, you betcha!"

"Sometimes there's blood," Scott told her.

"Come on, fight!" Cartman demanded.

"Uh…" Darren went over to Clyde and poked at him with the wooden dagger.

"That all you got?" Clyde said.

"Oh my god," Cartman sighed. "It's Butters all over again. Okay look, try putting your back into it."

"Yeah, New Kid," Butters said from the sidelines. "Just like Brooke did to that elf! Really let him have it!"

"I don't want to hurt him," Darren said.

"Really?" Brooke glanced over at Clyde. "He's looks like he wants to hurt you."

"Okay, okay!" He ran up to Clyde again and jabbed him hard with the toy.

"Agh!"

"Hell yeah!" Cartman smiled. "Clyde's your bitch! Okay, the key to surviving in battle is not to get hit in the balls. Clyde, it's your turn to attack. Douchebag, protect your balls."

"Huh?!" Darren quickly moved to cover his crotch.

"Prepare yourself!" Clyde said and swung the sword at him.

"Block, Douchebag!"

"Ow!" he managed to use his dagger to absorb most of the impact from the sword, but it still hurt his hand.

"It's time to use your heroic powers," Cartman said after Clyde had backed off. "Using your powers uses up your power points, or PP for short."

Clyde chuckled.

"If you have a fucking better name for it then say it Clyde! Fucking asshole! I'm the king and I say it's PP!"

Brooke, Butters, Kenny, and Scott all backed away from him a little.

"Douchebag! Use your thief ability to make him pay for insulting your king!"

"Uh, I don't know what I'm doing!" Darren ran around behind Clyde and jabbed him hard in the back.

"Ouch!"

"Yeah, get him again!"

He jabbed at him again, this time in the chest, and knocked him over.

Cartman laughed. "Dude that was awesome! You were all like BRAMMGMG! And Clyde was all like 'AHGHG NOO!' Ha-ha!"

Brooke went over and helped Clyde up. He dusted himself off, muttering curses under his breath.

After settling his fit of laughter, Cartman spoke again. "Okay, okay. You've proven yourself worthy. Come inside the war tent, and I shall let you see the relic." He led Darren into the cardboard castle.

"You okay?" Brooke asked Clyde.

Embarrassed, he didn't look at her. "I'm fine! It didn't even really hurt."

"Brooke!" Cartman's voice called from the tent. "Hurry up already!"

She hadn't realized that he had meant for her to follow as well. Unconcerned by the impatience in his voice, she walked over and entered the tent to find them standing around a velvet pillow where a large stick was placed on top.

"This is it," Cartman said. "The reason humans and elves are locked in a never-ending war. The relic for which all are willing to die for… The Stick of Truth. Just two days ago we took the Stick back from the elves. The kingdom was dying, but now it thrives. For whoever controls the Stick, controls the universe. Don't gaze at it too long! Its power is too much for mere mortals to look at!"

Darren flinched slightly and quickly looked away from it. Brooke shrugged. "I'm not a mortal anyway."

"Huh?" they looked at her.

"What?"

"What?"

She blinked. "Eh, nothing. It was a joke."

"Well," Cartman said. "Let's discuss your dues."

"Dues?"

"Yes. Being a member of my kingdom costs nine ninety-five for the first week. Four dollars of which are tax deductible."

"Alarm! Alarm! Alarm!" Butters' voice shouted.

"Someone has sounded the alarm!"

"Alarm! Alarm!" Butters ran into the tent. "The elves are attacking!"

"Oh my god! Defensive positions!" he ran out of the tent with Butters.

"More fighting?" Darren looked to Brooke.

She shrugged. "I'll kick all their asses."

Outside, a bunch of kids dressed as elves had surrounded the fence gate. "Give us the Stick, humans!"

"Fuck you, drow elf!" Cartman yelled. "Come and get it! Clyde, guard the Stick while we defend the fortress! Douchebag, Brooke, this is your chance to prove yourselves. Hold off the asshole elves at all costs!"

"Um," Darren hesitated.

"No problem!" Brooke cracked her knuckles and headed for the nearest elf who was attacking Butters. "You get that guy who just knocked out Scott," she told Darren.

"Well if this doesn't work out, at least you've got a future as a training dummy," Cartman said as Darren got hit by a stray toy arrow.

"Fuck you!" he said then went at the elf.

In a matter of minutes, Brooke had most of the elves on the run. They were all boys, who appeared to be surprised and hesitant to fight a girl, especially after seeing her beat the crap out of the first elf. As soon as the attack had started, it had ended.

"Elves!" one of them called. "Fall back! Fall back!"

"Yeah!" Cartman cheered as they ran away. "Awesome dude! Take that you assholes! NA NA NA NAAAA NA! We still control the universe!" he chanted.

Darren helped Scott up and they went over to the others. Brooke was wiping some kid's blood off her knuckles as she approached. "I think I busted that kid's lip," she was saying to Butters.

"It's gone," Clyde said.

There was a pause.

"What?" Cartman blinked at him.

"The Stick. The elves got it."

Another pause.

"THAT WAS YOUR ONE GOD DAMNED JOB, CLYDE! TO GUARD THE STICK OF FUCKING TRUTH!" He stopped and took a breath. "Clyde…you are hereby…BANISHED FROM SPACE AND TIME!"

"What?! You can't do that!"

"Yeah I can! You're banished and lost in time and space!"

"Yeah," Butters added ignorantly. "Go home, Clyde!"

Clyde stormed off without another word.

"You fought bravely on the battlefield, Douchebag," Cartman said to Darren. "Bravely, but not efficiently. Brooke did better. She totally kicked ass. Anyways, we have a bigger problem now. The Stick of Truth has been stolen once again. We must assemble our entire army to get it back."

"Oh," Brooke said with interest. "There are more of you?"

"Yes, of course."

"Our three best warriors haven't reported for duty," Butters told them.

"Douchebag, Brooke, I want you to go out into the neighborhood and retrieve my greatest warriors. Token, Tweek, and Craig."

"Token?" Brooke echoed.

"Tweek?" Darren said.

"And Craig, yes. I will text you their pictures to your personal inventory device. Give me your phone numbers. And beware, the lands outside are full of marauding drow elves, monsters, and sixth graders. Now go! And send my warriors here! Butters, go with Douchebag. Princess Kenny, with Brooke. You know, girl power."

"Oh boy," Butters said excitedly. "This'll be fun you guys!" He showed Darren a hammer he was carrying. "This is my Hammer of Storms. It's great for smiting people!"

"That's cool," he said. "I still don't really know what's going on."

"That's okay," Butters told him. "I'll help. Oh boy, I can show you around the neighborhood! We'll go get Token. He's probably at his house." He turned to Kenny and Brooke. "You guys can go get Tweek. I bet he's at his parents' coffee shop. You two will make a great team! Princess Kenny is a sniper!"

"Huh," Brooke said. "Sniper is my dog's name."

"You have a doggie? Neat!"

Darren's phone buzzed in his pocket. "Huh? I got a Facebook message from Clyde. 'This is all your fault. I'll get you back for this.' What the heck?! How's it my fault?"

Brooke looked at her phone. "I just got a friend request from him. And from everyone else here."

**To be continued…**

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**Brooke is unique. In many ways. Most of which will not be explained until much later. She's disturbingly strong for such a cute girl. She seems a little aggressive, but she's actually very kind. Until you piss her off.**

**Darren will get a bit more confident later on.**


	2. Chapter 2: Call to Arms

**The story is so heavily dependent on dialogue right now...and probably for a long time. But it works! Anyways, my friend had a right good laugh reading this one.**

**Oh, I figured I should explain a little more about what Brooke and Darren look like? Well, Darren's pretty plain. Sandy-blonde hair, typical boy's length hair, and he wears a dark green hoodie. Brooke has long darker blonde hair, mostly straight but a little wavy on the sides. She has a red shirt with a cute cartoon-ish skull on it that has heart eye(socket)s, a halo, and little feathered wings on the sides. She also usually wears a navy blue jacket that she never zips up, and three rings - a skull, and two-headed serpent, and a skeleton hand... She likes bones. **

**Oh yeah, since this is a written (typed) story, I'm just gonna actually write out what Kenny says verses typing or explaining a bunch of mumbling. Besides, the kids understand him anyway. Use your imagination.**

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"Okay," Butters said as the four of them left Cartman's house. "Token's house isn't that far from the coffee shop. We can all travel together for now and split up when we get closer."

"Sounds like a plan," Darren said.

Butters went to say something else, but was interrupted by the loud barking and snarling of a large dog that came charging over in their direction. He screamed and ran behind Darren, almost knocking the other boy over. The dog snarled at him and placed itself between them and Brooke, baring large fangs at them.

"Sniper!" Brooke patted the dog's back then tugged at his spiked leather collar. "Good boy! But Butters isn't a threat. Now, heel!"

At the command, Sniper instantly ceased his aggressive behavior and ran around to sit at the girl's left side, staring up at her and panting with all the innocence of a typical pet dog.

"T-that's your dog?" Butters carefully stepped out from behind Darren. "He's kind of scary."

"Yeah, sorry," she said. "Sniper's a trained body guard dog. I think that big hammer you're holding set him off. But he's super nice! As long as you're not a threat to me. I guess he came to find me since I left without telling him." She looked to the dog and pointed away. "Sniper, go play!"

With an understanding bark, the dog got up and ran off somewhere.

"Wow," Butters said. "He's super smart! Where is he going?"

She shrugged. "He's never too far off. Sorry he scared you."

"That's okay. Well, come on!"

They followed Butters down the street, past a bus stop with a pedestrian crossing sign, and took a right by a large wooden sign that read the town's name until they reached a street lined with stores and office buildings.

"This is the marketplace," Butters told them. "Heroes come here for adventuring gear, nosejobs, and abortions."

"Abortions?!" Darren almost choked.

"Yeah, over there at the Unplanned Parenthood." He gestured to a building down the other way. "Generally wanna stay out of there if you're a fetus, yeah."

"Fascinating," Brooke said.

They kept going until they reached a cinema where they were stopped by a man calling them over from the bushes. "Psst, hey, over here," he called.

"What is that freak doing?" Brooke asked.

"Oh god, it's him," Kenny rolled his eyes.

"Yes," the man said. "It's me, Al Gore."

"Who?"

"You know, Al Gore. I'm super important."

She looked to Darren for an explanation. "Uh, I think he was like a vice president or something?" Darren said.

"Yes!" Al Gore said. "Alright look, I've detected some VERY strange activity in this area. I believe we are dealing with…MANBEARPIG!"

"Excusemewhat?" Brooke said, almost tripping over her words.

"That's right, THE ManBearPig. I know it's scary, but I need help."

"Yeah you do."

"Take these and place them in the locations specified on this ManBearMap." He handed them a marked map of the town and several odd little sensors.

"Oh god," Brooke looked at the map. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"I'm super cereal. Now hurry! We must find out if the ManBearPig is here or not!" He dove back into the bushes.

"This town is fucking weird," Darren said after a brief pause.

"Eh, yeah," Butters said. "Anyways, the coffee shop is right here. Brooke and Kenny can get Tweek. Darren, you and me are gonna go the other way to Token's house."

"Okay, see you guys later," he waved to them as he and Butters kept walking.

Brooke looked up at the coffee shop's sign. "I…hate the smell of coffee." She pushed open the door and a little bell rung.

"Welcome to Tweek Coffee," a man at the counter greeted them. "Our coffee is brewed locally. So, what can I get you kids today?"

"We were just looking for Tweek."

"Oh, he's in the back. That reminds me. Tweek?! Tweeeek! Have you picked up the fresh local ingredients?!"

"AAHGHGH!" someone shouted from the back room. "NOT YET DAD! I'M STILL TRYING TO DO ALL MY CHORES!"

"Well hurry up, son, the family business is relying on you!"

"AHGHGH!"

Brooke and Kenny exchanged a glance. "That kid sounds…distressed," Brooke said. They went over to the back-room door and went inside to find a blonde, wild-haired boy sweeping the floor vigorously. "Um, hi?"

"AHGHGH!" he jumped. "You're not supposed to be back here! Wait, who are you?"

The boy was rather…twitchy, Brooke thought, and he talked fast. "That fat wizard kid told us to come get you. The elves took the Stick, and he said we need the whole army to get it back."

"WHAT?! AHGHGH! NOW?! They need me now?! There's no way, man! I have WAY too much to do!" He suddenly grabbed her shirt and shook her. "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ALL THIS?!"

"Ah! I-I don't know!" she shouted. "Just calm down!"

He let her go and screamed again. "Wait! YOU!"

"Me?!"

"If you go get the four o'clock delivery for me, I can finish here- and then, and then I'll still have time to play! PLEASE!"

"Uh o-okay!" she stammered. It was already four o'clock?

"Really?! Would you?!"

"Y-yeah, sure! Er, uh, where is it?"

"It's at Kenny's house – like always!"

"Huh?" Kenny said.

Tweek grabbed an envelope from a nearby table and handed it to Brooke. "You give them this, a-and they'll give you the delivery!" He suddenly stumbled and ran over to pour coffee from a pot into a mug. "MORE COFFEE! NEED MORE COFFEE! AHGHGH!"

Brooke slowly backed towards the door. "Kenny…let's go. Hurry!"

.

"This is Dark Meadows," Butters said.

He had led Darren to a nice, large home surrounded by a stone wall. The only way in or out seemed to be the security gate at the front where a guard was standing. "This is a gated community sir," he said as they approached him. "Move along."

"Yeah, but –" Darren began.

The security guard suddenly pulled out a can of pepper spray and sprayed him in the face.

"Agh! Oh god! It burns!"

"If you try again, I will pepper spray you back to the Stone Age. Move along, sir."

"Uh, uh okay!" Butters grabbed Darren's arm and quickly pulled him away. "Uh, you okay buddy?"

"What kind of asshole pepper sprays children!?" Darren said.

His phone buzzed a few minutes later and he pulled it out to read the messages. One from Cartman read, "HAHAHAHA Dude someone just posted a video of you getting pepper sprayed! Hold on I gotta watch that again. AHAHAHAHA it's even better when you know what's coming!"

"Fucking asshole," Darren muttered.

Another message from Brooke read, "Lol, dude what? I thought my quest was bad, but at least I didn't get pepper sprayed haha!"

A third message was from someone he had never met. "Jimbo's Guns carries a selection of gas masks that render pepper spray totally useless as a self-defense. Come visit."

"Well, whadda we do now?" Butters asked.

Darren put his phone back into his pocket. "I need a gas mask."

.

"You…live here?" Brooke asked.

Kenny had led her to a decrepit old house that stood alone, far off on the edge of town near a dump and across some old train tracks. Rats were wandering around everywhere and broken glass bottles littered the ground.

"Yeah."

She stared at him. "Oh…'kay then. So, where the heck's this delivery supposed to be?" She eyed a particularly large rat that was peering at her from underneath a blown-out tire.

He shrugged. "I dunno. I don't even know what he was talking about. Mm…let me ask my mom." He knocked on the door then turned back to Brooke. "I…I forgot my key."

She laughed a little.

"What?" a red-haired woman opened the door. "Oh, hey there Kenny. Who's your friend?"

"That's Brooke."

"Hi," Brooke said. "Um, do you know what this envelope is for?"

"Oh, this is for the nice people who are renting the guest house out in the back."

Brooke glanced around. "You mean…the garage?"

The two kids went over to the garage and pushed open the big door, which struggled against them for a moment before fully opening. They went through another door, and into a back room where they came across three filthy-looking strangers.

"Oh shit, this looks like a meth lab," Kenny said.

"You didn't even know this was in your own garage?!" Brooke hissed between her teeth.

"I don't go in the garage!"

"Obviously not."

"What are you kids doing here?" one of the meth heads asked.

"We…we're here to pick up the package for the coffee place." She replied.

"Yeah, we got the package. You got the envelope?"

She handed over the envelope.

"Hey," said one of the meth heads. "They aren't the usual kid that picks up the package."

"Oh shit," another said. "They're cops! Get 'em!"

"Ow!" Brooke shouted. "Did you just fucking curb stomp me?!"

"Ya damn right I did! It's all I know how to do!"

She punched the man in the knee and he jumped back with pain, tripping over something on the floor and crashing into the meth lab table. Glass containers of chemicals shattered all over the floor.

Kenny pulled out a toy bow as the second man charged and let loose an arrow that struck him in the face.

"Agh! My eye!"

"Whoops," Kenny flinched. "Hey!" he picked something up from the ground that was covered with nails. "My old club!"

"Get off of me you asshole!" Brooke kicked at the third meth head who had picked her up.

Kenny ran over and swung the nail-covered club; an awful crunching sound was heard as it made contact with the man's crotch. The meth head dropped Brooke and crumpled to the floor in a heap, groaning with pain.

"Thanks," she dusted herself off.

"No problem!"

She looked around and located a sealed bag in the corner then picked it up. "I guess this is it? Let's get out of here. Man, maybe I should have picked a weapon. I didn't think I'd be getting into fights with grown-ups."

"Here," he handed her the bloody club.

"Oh…" she took the club. "Okay. I'll call it…the Club of Justice." They laughed and left the garage.

.

"This is Jimbo's gun store," Butters said. The two boys had walked across to the other side of town to get to this store.

"Hey there boys," a man greeted them as they entered the building. It was full of weapons for sale and many taxidermized animals decorated the walls.

"Hey Jimbo and Ned!" Butters said.

"Well," Jimbo said. "You must be one of the new kids that moved to town."

"Yeah, my name's Darren."

"Nice to meet ya kid. So, you're into hunting? You've come to the right place! South Park is chock full o' things to shoot. Of course, ain't much I can sell to a minor – thanks to the stupid Democrats. But I might be able to hook you up with a few things!"

"I got a message saying you guys had gas masks?"

"We sure do! Since you're new, I'll sell one to ya for only five bucks! How's that sound?"

"Awesome!" Darren reached in his pocket for his money.

.

After exiting the garage of now highly likely to be crippled meth heads, Brooke and Kenny came across Sniper chasing rats around outside. Upon noticing them, he stopped and ran over to Brooke, his tail swinging happily.

"You're kind of late to the party," she said to the dog. "I just got attacked by three meth heads!" He whined. "Well, I guess you can't open doors…and it's not like I called for you either. Oh well. We've got to get this package back to the coffee shop."

"Hold on," Kenny said, heading to the front door of his house. "I gotta go to the bathroom."

"Oh."

"You can come inside if you want."

"Okay," she followed him inside. "Sniper, wait out here."

_*Woof*!_

The inside of the house was about what she expected after seeing the outside. The walls were cracked and pealing, the carpet had several mysterious stains, empty beer cans littered the floor, and there was a strong smell of cigarettes.

Sitting on the old couch in the center of the room was a little girl. "Hi!" she said. "Who are you?"

"Hi. I'm Brooke. Who are you?"

"I'm Karen! Are you Kenny's friend?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"You're pretty."

"Thanks. You are too," Brooke smiled.

"Really?" she smiled back. "Hey, do you want to play with me? We can have a tea party!"

"Uh, I don't think I have the time to – " she trailed off after seeing her expectant expression then sighed. "Okay. I'll play with you."

"Yay!" Karen hopped down from the sofa and led Brooke to her room.

A few minutes later, Kenny came back to the living room to find that Brooke wasn't there. He opened the door, expecting her to be waiting outside, but only found her dog sitting patiently by the door. "Huh? Where'd she go?"

Sniper tilted his head at him.

He went back inside to look again and heard voices coming from one of the rooms. He opened the door to find Brooke sitting at a tiny table and holding a tiny cup that Karen was pretending to pour tea into.

"Hi Kenny!" Karen smiled.

"Oh," Brooke said. "Uh…she wanted to play."

"We're having a tea party! Do you want to play with us?"

He stared at them for a moment before saying, "Hell yeah I do!"

.

Darren and Butters stood across the street from the security gate where the guard was standing. "Alright," Darren placed the gas mask on his face. "I'm ready this time, bitch." He walked over to the guard.

"Hey, didn't I already warn you?" The guard took out his pepper spray and sprayed it, but it had no effect. "What the fuck?"

"Ha!" Darren pulled out his dagger and jabbed it into the back of the guard's knee. "Butters! Attack!"

"Uh, okay!" Butters hurried over as the guard's legs crumpled and swung his hammer into the side of the guard's head. "Oh hamburgers! Did I kill him?!"

Darren kicked the downed guard who groaned in response. "Nah, he's fine. Come on. Let's get Token."

They hurried over to the front door of the big house and rung the bell. Moments passed and a black boy opened the door. "Who are you?"

"I'm Darren."

"He's one of the new kids," Butters said. "He's playing with us! Token, the wizard king needs everyone to gather at Kupa Keep. The elves have stolen the Stick of Truth!"

"They took the Stick again? Alright, let me get changed. Hey Mom! Can you drive me to Eric's house!?"

.

"You're back!" Tweek stopped what he was doing to meet Brooke and Kenny as they entered the back room. "What took you guys so long?!"

"We had to fight meth heads, that's what!" Brooke said. "Oh, and then I got distracted by Kenny's little sister. She's adorable."

"But did you get the delivery?"

"Of course," she handed him the package.

"Oh great! Thanks! Dad! I finished my chores; can I go play?"

"What about today's delivery?" his dad asked.

"It's right here!"

He took the bag and tasted its contents. "Hm, yep, that's good shit. Alright Tweek, you can go play for a little bit, but be home before dark."

"Thanks," Tweek told them. "What was your name?"

"Brooke."

"Thanks, Brooke. I'm gonna get changed and then I'll meet you at the kingdom."

.

"Oh, hey Darren," Brooke greeted him as they all gathered back in Cartman's backyard. "Nice gas mask. Heh, I saw you got pepper sprayed."

"Shut up," he said. "That's why I got this mask!"

"But do you really need to wear it now?"

He shrugged.

"Eh, I got curb stomped by a meth head."

"What?!"

"Yeah, and now I have this!" She showed him the nailed bat she was carrying. "The Club of Justice!"

"Why's it bloody?"

"Oh, it may or may not have been used to cripple a man today."

"All soldiers reporting for duty, Grand Wizard!" Butters' voice shouted.

Cartman came out from the castle. "Ah, nice work. Now all my men are here and – wait a minute. Where's Feldspar? Where is my level twelve thief?"

"Oh yeah," Butters said. "Where is Craig?"

"He's in detention," Token told them.

"What?!" Cartman said.

"He flipped off the principle," Tweek said. "So he's in detention again."

"Oh my god…without him we'll have no way of getting back the Stick of Truth. We have to break him out!"

"Agh! No way, man! Last time we broke Craig out of detention we ALL in trouble!"

"That is a risk that Brooke and Douchebag are willing to take!"

"Uh, no it's not!" Darren looked to Brooke. "Are you?! Because I'm not!"

"Sounds like a bad first impression to make at a new school," Brooke was debating aloud to herself. "Buuuuut…I've always hated school."

"Oh come on, Brooke!" Darren was appalled.

"Come on, Douchebag!" Cartman said. "We have to break out our senior thief. Don't worry, I won't let you go unprepared. I'm going to teach you how to use magic. I think you will be a perfect candidate. Come with me to the training barracks. It's time for you to learn 'Dragonshout.'"

"…What?!"

**To be continued…**


	3. Chapter 3: Prison Break

**I've mentioned it before but I'll say it again. There WILL be completely original content! But LATER! After the Stick of Truth plot I will have all original plot/content, then I will go into the Fractured but Whole plot and more original content mingled in that one and after. So, hopefully anyone bothering to read this will hang in there. This story's not a complete ripoff lol. I mean, it IS fan fiction, after all. Hopefully anyone reading is enjoying the nostalgia, if anything.**

* * *

"What is he talking about, Dragonshout?" Darren said. "This isn't Skyrim!"

"No," Brooke said as she looked over the nails protruding from her new "toy." "Do you want me to yell 'This is Sparta' and kick you into a hole?"

"What?! No!"

"Well, then quit asking me questions I don't have the answer to. I'm trying to fix this bent nail without stabbing myself… Who knows what those meth heads had in their blood."

Darren gave her a bewildered look before walking away to go meet up with Cartman at the other corner of the yard. He was waiting for him near a couple of crude training dummies with targets painted onto their chests.

"You fight…decently," he said as Darren stopped beside him. "But to truly succeed in combat you must learn to harness the power…of your farts."

"…Huh?"

"Farting on your opponent at precisely the right time is the key to battle," Cartman explained. "I'll show you. But first, you must take the Gentlemen's Oath. You must promise to NEVER, EVER fart on anyone's balls."

"What?"

"Farting on an opponent is necessary, but farting on someone's balls is NOT COOL. Okay?"

"Dude…why would I ever fart on someone's balls?"

"Good. Now, let's begin." He walked Darren over to the dummies. "To conjure Dragonshout, you must first clear your mind and take a deep breath…through your butthole. Like so."

Darren watched, bewildered.

"Suck it in…let it rumble…and…DRAGONSHOUT!" Cartman let loose a fart that pushed back one of the dummies.

"What the – Wow!" Darren said.

"Yes. Now you." He stepped out of the way.

Darren stepped up to the dummy.

"That's right, now find the frequency…hold…hold, and Dragonshout!"

The fart almost knocked the dummy over onto its side.

"My god," Cartman said. "That was almost perfect. A man could live a hundred years and never again witness a spell so…boisterous. Could the prophecies be true? Has the Dragonborn come at last, in our hour of need?"

"Dude, what the hell are you talking about?" Darren asked.

"Wait," Cartman told him with a smirk. "I have an idea. Let us try your new power on a real opponent. Hey! Hey, Princess Kenny!"

"What are – ?"

"Shh! Don't tell him," Cartman whispered urgently. "It'll be great." He was trying not to snicker.

Kenny, Brooke, and Tweek had all been conversing off in the other corner of the yard, not paying any attention to what Cartman and Darren were doing. Kenny looked over at them upon hearing his name and walked over. Curious, Brooke and Tweek followed.

"Just real quick, Princess Kenny," Cartman called him over. "Sir Douchebag wants to show you a new move. Now, you two, spar! Go on, Douchebag! Show Princess Kenny the magical ability I have taught you!"

Darren shrugged. "If you say so." He ran over and let loose a potent "Dragonshout" in the other kid's face.

Brooke covered her mouth and nose in both shock and disgust, and Tweek jumped back. Cartman was having a laughing fit. "Aw dude that was sweet! HAHAHA!" Tears were beginning to form in his eyes from laughing so hard. "O-okay, okay. That's all for now, Princess Kenny."

"Fuck you!" Kenny said, walking away from them. "You're both fucking assholes!"

Cartman wiped the tears from his eyes and went back over to Darren. "Ha, okay, seriously. Don't EVER do that on anyone's balls. Seriously."

"Did you see my new move?" Darren asked Brooke, a stupid grin on his face.

"Yes," she glared at him. "Saw it, heard it, smelled it… Idiot."

"What?" he laughed.

"You're disgusting." She told him and then eyed Cartman suspiciously as he approached her. "What do you want?"

"Paladin Butters has told me of your loyal beast known as – Sniper. A beast like that would make a great addition to the kingdom."

"Sniper won't listen to anything YOU say," she stated firmly. "He ONLY listens to me."

"Hmm, fine. Then you can tell him to help you guys free Feldspar at the school."

"You want me to let my trained guard dog loose on innocent people?"

"They're not innocent," he assured her. "The hall monitors are all…gingers."

She stared at him, debating whether or not she felt like even bothering to comment on that. "Right. Well, if you're done…we're gonna go now."

"Alright," Cartman nodded. "Yes, go! Free my senior thief! And take Kenny and Butters with you."

"As long as it's not you," she muttered to herself.

She gathered up the other two boys and headed out to the front yard. "Sniper!" she called. Mere moments passed before the large dog came darting to her side. He stared up at her expectantly. "Good boy. Do you wanna play?" He barked excitedly, tail wagging. "Okay! Come with us! Now, where is the school?"

"This way," Butters gestured for them to follow him. "I'll show you!"

The walk across town once again was accompanied by many more questions from Butters, which Brooke would answer readily until…

"So, why'd you guys move here anyway? Louisiana's really far, right?"

"My mom's dodging loan sharks," Darren said simply, gaining him a few odd looks. "What?"

"Well, what about you, Brooke?" Butters asked over his shoulder. "Are your parents dodging sharks too?"

"No," she said, looking away and seemingly exchanging a look with her dog that only Kenny seemed to notice. "No, nothing so…eh, simple. It's complicated." She almost sounded sad.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Butters offered.

Sniper let out a snort. "No," Brooke said quickly. "I mean…thanks, but no. Not really."

When the other boys looked at him, Darren shrugged, not sure himself of the sudden reclusiveness she was portraying. Most of the time, Brooke was friendly and talkative and more outgoing. But, every now and again, there were times when she would avoid talking or even being around others, looking gloomy and lost in thought. When confronted or asked about it, she would suddenly perk up, acting as if nothing had happened.

Butters stopped to look back at her, a slight worried expression on his face. "You okay?"

She blinked at him. "Yeah? I'm fine. Why?"

There it was…

"Uh, I don't know," he shifted his feet. "You just sounded kind of…sad."

"No. I'm fine."

.

"Craig," a thin, big-headed man fussed. "This is detention! Mkay. So, stop looking at your watch because you're here for THREE HOURS! Mkay!"

He was in the cafeteria with a handful of schoolkids that he was having do extra homework for whatever it was that each of them had done to get put in there. Instead of doing the work, one boy, who was wearing a hood and cape, was simply sitting and staring at the watch on his wrist.

"Whatever," the boy said uncaringly.

"No, not whatever! Now don't think your friends are gonna come bust you out this time, Craig!"

"My name is Feldspar, and I'm a level twelve thief," he said. "And the humans will soon rescue me from this tower."

"No, your name is fuckin' CRAIG TUCKER and you're in DETENTION! Now start doing your homework!"

Craig looked back at his watch.

"Mkay, I've got all the doors SEALED, and I've got all the hall monitors working overtime! Nobody is gonna save your ass today, Craig! Mkay!?"

.

The four kids and dog walked in through the front doors of the school where a pale, ginger-haired boy met up with them. "Excuse me," he told them, "but school is out and no students are allowed on the premises until tomorrow at 7:30 a.m. A-and dogs are not allowed on school grounds."

"Sniper is a licensed working dog," Brooke said angrily. "I can bring him wherever the hell I want! Sniper!" she pointed at the boy. "Ram that little shit!"

With a conformational bark, the big dog bolted forward, head down, and slammed his broad shoulders into the boy's chest. The impact knocked the ginger boy back into a pile of neatly stacked chairs that collapsed on him.

He groaned and pulled out a walkie-talkie. "Ughh, officer down! Send backup!"

.

"I repeat," the walkie in the cafeteria said urgently. "Officer down! All hall monitors to the right hallway!"

"Oh, god damnit," Mr. Mackey, the man in charge of detention, said.

"Heeeere they come," Craig looked back at his watch.

"They aren't gonna get you, Craig! You're not getting out of detention this time!"

"I'll be out of here in ten minutes."

.

"We should be careful you guys," Butters warned. "This dungeon holds many dangers. For centuries, these halls went unmonitored, but then the evil Overlord Mackey rose an army of gingers to protect his precious after-school detention. Now those minions lurk the halls terrorizing and suspending the innocent."

"Thanks for that history lesson, Butters," Darren said.

"Detention's in the cafeteria," Kenny called them over to a hallway to the right. "It's this way!"

They followed him through a hallway of lockers to a set of heavy double doors that wouldn't budge. "You're not gonna get through this door. Mkay," a voice said from the other side of the doors. "You might as well give up, because I've hidden the key somewhere and you'll never find it in my office! Aw, damnit…"

"The counselor's office is this way," Butters led the way. He jiggled the doorknob but the door didn't open. "Aw man, we need another key."

"Do you think he has it with him?" Darren asked.

"Nah," Brooke said. "He let it slip that the cafeteria key is in his office, so he's probably not smart enough to keep the office key on him either."

"Where could it be then?"

"Bet one of the hall monitors has it," Kenny told them.

"Let's find them then," Brooke said. They came to another door, this one labeled "Faculty Only" where they could hear children's voices coming from inside. "This one's locked, too," she tried the doorknob.

"Hey," Darren pointed at a kid down the hallway on the other side of a security gate. The kid quickly ran off out of site. "That kid had a key!"

They went over to the gate where another boy was watching them from the other side. "Good luck getting through this one!" the kid said. "Not even your scary doggie can get through!"

"Well," Brooke smiled. "Aren't you lucky?" At her side, Sniper narrowed his eyes at the kid, his lip twitching and flashing his white fangs.

"Don't worry," Kenny told them. "I got this. Hey, kid," he called in a girlish voice. "Look at this!" He pulled his top down to show the other kid his chest.

"Oh, wow," the kid ran over to open the gate. "Boobies!"

Kenny giggled and pulled out a hand mirror then wacked the kid hard in the head with it, knocking him out.

Darren laughed loudly while Brooke stood there biting her knuckles trying to hold back her amusement. "Uh, well," she said with great effort. "That works."

They found the kid with the key at the other end of the hall. "You can take this key from my cold dead hands!"

"I feel like you're taking this a little too seriously," Brooke said.

"Oh! My turn!" Darren ran over to the hall monitor and bent over with his rear towards him.

The hall monitor raised an eyebrow. "What are you – OH GOD!" Darren had Dragonshouted on him then kicked him down. "Aw gross! Agh!" the kid pulled out a walkie. "More officers down!"

.

"We're taking heavy casualties out here!" the walkie shouted.

"Damnit," Mackey snatched up the walkie. "You hallway monitors need to stop playing around!"

"He's got the brass key! He's some kind of Dragonborn!"

"Now look, this is not time to play Dungeons and Dragons or whatever! Besides, they're not gonna get in here, because they need the gold key and the only way to get the gold key is to get the silver key, mkay, and they still haven't even made it past the boss level! …Mkay."

.

"This key is for the faculty room!" Butters took the key from Darren and ran over to the door.

"They're here," a ginger boy said as they opened the door. "Guard the key!"

Two ginger hall monitors were standing guard in front of a cornered boy that was covered with toy arrows and looking beat-up. They had apparently moved tables and shelves around to form a barricade between them and the door and were brandishing wooden rulers and scissors as weapons.

"What'd you guys do to that kid?!" Brooke asked angrily upon seeing the hurt boy in the corner.

"He tried to free the prisoners!" One of the ginger boys replied. "He had to be punished!"

"What the hell!?" She glanced around the room and spotted something. "Kenny," she pulled him over to where she was standing. "Use your bow and shoot that wall speaker."

Without question, he loosed an arrow at the speaker, causing it to fall from the wall and land on top of one of the hall monitor's heads. The other monitor jumped back in surprise, but before he could say or do anything, Brooke had given her dog another command. Sniper vaulted over the table and tackled the second hall monitor, hitting the kid's head against the wall and knocking him out as well.

"Good dog!" Brooke praised.

Butters went over to the injured kid and gave him a pat on the back. "Thanks," the kid said. "I thought I was a goner. There were too many of them, their hair too red… Here," he handed Brooke a silver key. "Maybe you guys can succeed where I have failed. Free Mackey's prisoners!"

"Yeah," she said, taking the key. "But are you sure you're okay?"

"I-I'll be fine," he sniffed.

"Come on," Butters ran back to the door. "We have to get the gold key from Mackey's office!"

"Sniper," Brooke told the dog. "Stay with this boy and help him get out of here."

_*Woof*! _

They hurried over to the counselor's office to unlock the door. "Careful," Butters warned. "One wrong step and WE could end up in detention."

"Are we not going to already?" Darren asked.

"Up there!" Kenny pointed to a golden key sitting high up on a shelf.

Darren pulled a chair over and climbed up it to grab the key. "Alright," he said. "Let's get this over with already."

After snatching the key, the four of them gathered by the cafeteria doors.

"Stop right there," an older ginger kid approached. "Where are your hall passes?"

They blinked at him.

"No hall passes? Then it's time to write some referrals." He was carrying a baton with a chain. Attached to the other end was a large dodgeball. He yelled and swung the ball and chain which hit Butters and knocked him down hard.

"UGH! …owie."

"Hey," Brooke pulled out the Club of Justice. "Don't hit him!"

He went to throw the ball at her, but she swung the club at the same time and the nails protruding from it caught the chain and locked the weapons together.

"Brooke, move!" Darren ran over. She let go of her weapon and hurried out of the way for him to Dragonshout on the hall monitor boss. Darren tried to jab a few times with his toy dagger at the stunned hall monitor, but he was wearing padded armor.

"Get out of the way!" Brooke had untangled her weapon and came back. She swung the club, nailing the hall monitor in the back of the head with it.

"Dude," Darren stared down at the unconscious kid. "You could kill someone with that!"

She nudged the kid with her foot and he groaned. "Nah, it's fine. Open the stupid door already."

They unlocked the cafeteria doors and pushed them wide open. Mr. Mackey stared in disbelief as all the children cheered and ran out. "DAMN YOU CRAAAAAAIG!"

Brooke quickly picked up Butters and they all ran out of the school before he could stop any of them. Outside, Sniper ran over to greet them and licked at Butters' face as Brooke sat him down. "Uwa, I-I'm okay," Butters said dizzily.

"Thanks for busting me out," Craig said. "Who are you guys?"

"My name's Darren," he replied. "Well, according to Cartman my name is Douchebag… The girl worrying over Butters is Brooke."

Sniper barked at him.

"Oh, and that's her dog, Sniper. He helped, too."

"Cool," Craig said.

"Hey, Brooke," Darren turned to her. "Is Butters okay to walk? We should probably get the hell out of here."

"He's just dizzy," she said, helping him up. "Here, Butters. Lean on Sniper for support."

Back at Kupa Keep, Cartman greeted them excitedly. "Everyone! Thanks to the new kids, our entire army is assembled! It is my belief, that they deserve to rank up in level. Douchebag, to honor your efforts, you will no longer be called 'Douchebag.'"

"Oh, finally."

"I hereby dub thee – SIR Douchebag!"

"Oh, come on!" Darren shouted and Brooke snickered.

"And Brooke," Cartman continued. "Hm, did chicks get 'sir' ranks? Eh, no matter. You, too, will henceforth be known as SIR. Everyone, Sir Douchebag and Sir Brooke!"

The other kids clapped.

Darren looked at Brooke and she shrugged.

"But," Cartman said once they had finished. "It is time for us to take back what is rightfully ours! A carrier raven has come with news that the Stick of Truth is not yet in the Elven Forest. It is currently in possession of…the Bard."

"The BARD!?" Scott said.

"Oh god, not the bard!" Tweek panicked.

"Who the hell is the Bard?" Brooke said.

Butters explained. "The Bard is a level ten drow elf who can use magic to enchant and destroy his enemies!"

"Sir Douchebag," Cartman called. "Make haste to the training grounds. There is more for you to learn now."

"Oh, okay," Darren followed him.

"Man," Brooke looked over at Craig's watch. "Today is a LONG day."

"Yeah," Craig said. "Hey, I sent you a friend request on Facebook. You should accept it."

"Oh," she pulled out her phone. "Alright. Oh, I have a bunch of requests… Sniper! When did you get a Facebook?"

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Darren is so irrelevant at times I feel. Honestly, Brooke is more of the main character in the long run. Oh, I hadn't actually intended to properly introduce Sniper and have him as an active character until much later, but I like him so much that I changed that.**


	4. Chapter 4: The Visitors

"I'm going to teach you how to use a ranged magic attack," Cartman said as Darren met him by the training dummies. "It's not easy, but knowing how to cup-a-spell from a distance can save you in battle. I shall demonstrate." He held his hand behind his rear and farted, then threw his hand out towards the dummy. "HYAAA!"

"I THROW my fart?" Darren tilted his head. "Ha-ha!"

"Yes, now you try." Cartman backed away. "Way back from where you're standing. Cup the magic and throw it at your opponent."

Darren copied what he had done, the force of the air pushing the dummy a little.

"Yes, YES! Now you shall try it on a real opponent. Hey, hey Malkinson! Malkinson, could you come help us with something? Heh, could you, um, spar with Douchebag real quick? He's gotta try out a new move."

"Okay," Scott went over to face Darren. "En garde!" He watched, a little confused when Darren reached behind himself then motioned as if he had tossed something to him. "Agh! Gross!"

"Dude, that was sweet!" Cartman laughed. "You threw that shit right in Scott's face! HAah! Okay, alright Scott, back to your post. Use that new spell wisely, Douchebag. And never on a man's balls." He walked to the middle of the yard to address everyone present. "If the carrier ravens are correct, the Bard is hiding out at the Inn of the Giggling Donkey. We must get to him before he takes the Stick back to the Elven Forest. MAKE HASTE TO THE GIGGLING DONKEY!"

"Sniper," Brooke turned to her dog. "Stay here with Scott to guard the base." He barked response and went to sit at the gate.

.

"There it is," Cartman peered over the hedge in the front yard of someone's house. "The Inn of the Giggling Donkey."

"Whose house is this?" Brooke whispered to Craig beside her.

"Paladin," Cartman turned to Butters. "Are you sure this is where the Bard is?"

"That's what Twitter says."

He rolled his eyes. "CARRIER RAVEN, Butters!"

"S-sorry, that's what the carrier raven says."

"Craig and Token, guard the back door. Tweek, stay here. The rest of you… let's go inside."

The inside of the house was dimly lit and set up to resemble an old bar. Several kids were sitting around chatting and drinking at tables.

"Stay close," Cartman told them. "This inn harbors the biggest scum of all Zaron." They walked over to a kid wearing a fake moustache who was pretending to polish a red plastic cup. "A glass of meedlewine, please."

"No meedlewine today," the kid told him. "Only Fairy Ale."

"A pint of Fairy Ale, then." He leaned back on the table and glanced around. "So, uh…anyone seen the Bard lately?" There was an awkward silence as all the other kids stopped what they were doing to glare at him. "A cup of Fairy Ale is nothing without some bardic poems and songs," he explained.

"Sure, he's here," the bartender said. "He's got a room down in the cellar."

"Ah," Cartman said. "And I shall pay handsomely for his services." He chugged his drink then tossed some coins onto the table. "Gentlemen…ladies." He walked around the corner to the basement door. "Douchebag, Brooke, Butters, go down there and flush him out. Princess Kenny and I will be waiting here to murder him. Remember, he can use songs to enchant. Don't let him get to you."

"I don't want to go in the basement," Darren said. "Butters, you go first."

"Me? Bu-but what if I go first and he's waiting there to kill me?"

"Well, I don't want to get killed."

"Oh, for – get out of the way," Brooke pushed past them and opened the door to go down the stairs.

The basement had been arranged to resemble an old bar storage. There were many large cardboard boxes with pictures of barrels drawn on them, and a couple of Halloween bat decorations hung from the ceiling.

"Do you think he's really in here?" Butters asked quietly.

Brooke made an annoyed face. Both boys were huddled up close behind her. Every step she took, they took an extra to make sure that they didn't lose her in the dark. "Would you two get off of me?" There was a strange strumming sound.

"Did you hear that?" Darren asked.

"Yeah," she tried to pry her arm free from them. "It sounded like an instrument."

"Oh, Jesus, it's the Bard!" Butters gasped.

A cripple-legged boy stepped out of the dark corner with a lute in hand. He had crutches and wore a folded paper hat with a feather poked into it. "Prepare for battle, w-w-w-w-weaklings. Elves, fall in!"

Several elf kids appeared from the dark corners and surrounded them. "Douchebag!" They looked back to see Cartman and Kenny being drug off. "IT'S A TRAAAP!"

"Ah, shit!" Darren said.

"You should never have come here, h-humans," the Bard said. "I am a level ten bard, and with my lute I shall power up my elven guards with magical songs of ench – With magical songs of encha – With magical songs of encha – chaaaa…"

Brooke, Darren, and Butters exchanged looks.

"Mag-magical songs of enchanme-me-me… With magical songs of encha-chaaa… Magical songs of enchantment." He hurried out of the way and began to strum on the lute. "There once was a maiden from Stonebury Hollow~ She didn't talk much, but boy did she swallow~"

Brooke almost choked holding back a laugh. "I guess I probably shouldn't use a bloody club covered in nails for this," she readied her fists.

Darren cupped-a-spell at one of the archers as Brooke went for the elf at the front. "By the hammer of Butters!" Butters shouted and attacked as well. After stunning the archer, Darren ran over and jabbed at him with his dagger.

"Ow! Jerk!" the kid said.

"Wow," the Bard hurried up the stairs. "What a butt kicking…" He opened the door and called over more elves. "Get down there and finish them off! I will protect the Stick of Truth!"

"Hey," a voice called from somewhere. They looked up to see Craig tapping at the basement window above them. "Open this!"

While Darren and Butters were distracted by the elves, Brooke climbed up some shelves and boxes to get to the window. "Hello~" she pushed it open for him and he crawled inside.

"I'll handle this," he said. He crawled across the shelf to a fuse box and started fiddling with it. "Hm, ow!" It zapped him and caused him to fall backwards off the shelf and land on the last elf. "Shit," Craig said. "That hurt."

"Oh god!" Brooke climbed down from the shelves. "Are you okay?"

He got up and dusted himself off. "Yeah. Come on, let's get out of here."

"The door's locked," Butters said from the top of the stairs.

"Nothing a level twelve thief can't handle," Craig brushed past him. He fiddled with the lock for a moment and then it clicked open. "You guys go ahead."

"FOR THE ELF KING!" a kid shouted and ran into the kitchen as they exited the basement.

"AHGHGH! Someone help!" Cartman's voice called.

"God damnit, Cartman!" Brooke said upon finding him on the ground getting kicked by some elves. She quickly dispatched the attackers. "Butters, do something with him."

Butters went over and patted Cartman's shoulder. "Pat, pat, nice…well that feels better, doesn't it?"

He coughed. "His powers were too strong – the Bard. He's up in one of the rooms." He opened a pack of ketchup and squirted it into his mouth to cough it out like blood. "They took Princess Kenny! They took her upstairs. I'm sure they're going to rape her."

"What?!" Brooke made a face of mingled shock and confusion.

"Uh…isn't he actually a dude?" Darren asked.

"Don't let them rape Princess Kenny!" Cartman said before dramatically falling back over.

"Oh, whatever," Brooke left him behind in the kitchen.

"The Wizard King is done for!" The Bard was heading up the stairs. "Take out those new kids while I go make contact with the King of Elves. And be careful! That girl is f-f-feisty."

All the tables and chairs had been upturned and moved to make a barricade. She looked up at a light hanging from the ceiling.

"What do we do?" Darren joined her.

Brooke looked around until she found a full plastic drink bottle then chucked it at the base of the hanging light. It fell and crashed onto the head of an elf, knocking him out.

"Holy shit, Brooke."

"He's fine," she told him.

"HELLO!?" Tweek was jumping up in the window outside. "Open the door!"

There was an elf standing guard by the door. Darren spotted a lit candle beside the kid. "Oh, I have an idea!" He reached behind himself then tossed a fart across the room at the flame. The flame ignited in a small explosion, knocking aside the elf and breaking open the front door to let Tweek and Token in.

"And you think what I did was extreme?" Brooke eyed him.

"We'll revive the wizard," Craig told Brooke, Darren, and Butters. "You guys get upstairs!" He, Token, and Tweek hurried off to the kitchen.

"Oh," Darren went to loot something off of one of the unconscious elves. "A bow!"

"No hurry, Douchebag," Butters said. "The Princess is just being raped."

"…oh."

"Hurry up already!" Brooke walked up the stairs.

"Okay, I'm coming!"

"It's locked!" Butters tried to open a door. There were shouts coming from the other side and the sound of a bed shaking.

"Oh, what the hell!?" Brooke said.

"We gotta save the Princess!"

"Uh, okay!" Darren started fiddling with the lock.

"Hurry!" Butters said.

"Hold on, I almost got it!"

"Fucking – get out of the way!" Brooke drop kicked the door open, her foot mere inches from Darren's face.

"Oh…that works."

Inside, Kenny was tied up on the bed and an elf kid was jumping up and down on the end of the bed. "Are you kidding me?" Brooke said. She went over and knocked the kid in the back of the head and he fell over onto the floor.

"That's wasn't very dramatic," Darren said.

"Shut the fuck up," she told him then untied Kenny who cheered happily.

"My hero!" he said.

"Yeah, yeah," she helped him down from the large bed. "God, boys are so ridiculous…"

"Princess Kenny!" Cartman and the others met them in the hall. "How badly did they rape you?!"

He shrugged. "Not too badly."

"I can't get through!" Craig was trying to unlock the other bedroom door. "There's some kind of enchantment so I can't turn the knob!"

"You can't hold the doorknob, Bard!" Cartman shouted. "That's cheating!"

"Yeah I can," he said from the other side. "I have the Stick of Truth which means I control the universe, and I say holding the doorknob is okay."

"Damnit!" Cartman said. "There's got to be another way!"

"Hey, Darren," Brooke called him over. "Give me a boost."

"Uh, okay."

He helped her up and she grabbed a hold of the attic door and pulled it open to let the ladder fall out.

"What are you going to do in the attic?"

"I don't know," she started climbing up. "Break something." He followed her up into the attic to watch. She nosed around a bit before coming across a lopsided shelf where a large, heavy-looking chest was dangling precariously from. "Give me that bow for a second." He handed her the bow and she shot an arrow at the broken shelf. The impact caused the shelf to finally give and the heavy chest came crashing down and through the basement floor into the next room.

"H-h-holy shit," the Bard said. "That almost killed me."

Brooke jumped down through the hole and opened the door for the others.

"You've nowhere to run, Bard!" Cartman pointed at him. "Give me back the Stick!"

"Take it from me if you can, W-Wizard King!"

"You are no match for a Grand Wizard!"

"The Stick belongs with us! And I shall use every bardic power in my class to keep it from you!"

"Fine, you wanna throw down, brah? Kick his ass, Brooke!"

"Huh?"

"Brooke?"

"That's SIR Brooke to you!" Cartman said. And she's about to teach you some manners!"

"Uh, no I'm not."

"What?"

"I'm not going to beat up a cripple kid. No offense."

"N-n-none taken."

"Fine," Cartman sighed. "Douchebag, kick his ass!"

"Uhhhh…"

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Give me that!" She snatched the Stick from the Bard.

"Hey! You can't –"

"Fuck your Stick!" She smacked him in the head with it.

"Ouch! Hey! Okay, jeez… You're lucky you're a girl…a-a-and scary."

"THE STICK IS OURS!" Cartman snatched up the Stick and the others cheered.

"You guys are all idiots," Brooke told them.

"You won't get away with the Stick next time," the Bard said. "N-n-n-next time I'll have a flute, and I'll use the brown note!"

"I don't know what that is," she said, "but next time, if I have to, I'm going to kick your ass."

.

"The Stick of Truth is back where it belongs," Cartman announced after placing the stick back on its cushion. "Great job everyone. Douchebag, Brooke, for your heroic deeds and valiant self-sacrifice, I hereby make you both official members of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep. Welcome, to the KKK."

"Oh, hold up – " Brooke began but they were all interrupted by Cartman's mother.

"It's getting late," she said kindly. "The Grand Wizard needs to go night-night. It's a school night. You and your little druid friends – "

"WE'RE NOT DRUIDS, MOM! WE'RE FUCKING WARRIORS AND WIZARDS!"

"That's it!" She came outside and corralled him back towards the house. "Time for bed! The rest of you better get home, too."

The rest of the kids exchanged looks before heading off in different directions towards their homes. After parting with Darren, Brooke met up with her dog sitting by the front door of their new house. She opened the door and he bounded inside.

"You were out for a while," her mother said as she walked inside. "Did you make any new friends?"

"Yeah," she said. "Lots."

"What the hell is that?" Her stepdad asked.

"Hm? Oh, this is the Club of Justice. I use it to smite evil. And probably give people HIVs."

"Ohokaay," he laughed.

.

"Hey Mom!" Darren greeted as he walked into his own new home.

"Oh, hey son. What did you do today?"

"Eh, not much. Got pepper sprayed in the face, broke some kid out of prison, raided some other kid's house, and joined the KKK." He shrugged.

His mother stared at him for a long moment, trying to process if what he had said was actually what she had really heard. "You've got some explaining to do," she said after a long pause.

.

"I hope you're liking this new town," Brooke's mother said as Brooke climbed into bed. "Things are going to be much better now that we're in such a quiet little mountain town."

About an hour or so later, Brooke was woken from her sleep by a bright light and Sniper growling at the window. She rubbed her eyes and went over to the window, but the light had gone. "Ugh, do we really want to know what that was?" she asked her dog. He tilted his head then climbed back up onto the bed as if to agree with her. "Good," she joined him. "I'm too tired to care anymore."

.

Darren blinked open his eyes, dazed for a moment, then was surprised to find himself in a strange place, strapped face down to an odd table of some kind. Three tall, thin, gray figures were standing around him.

"What the…"

One of them pulled a lever and something behind Darren began to move into position behind him. "What the – " He tried to turn his head to get a look at the machine just as it pushed something into his rear. "What the hell is – AGH!" He instinctually clenched his butt and the machine snapped off.

Surprised, one of the figures pulled another lever. The machine dropped the broken piece and produced another, larger one then proceeded to try again. This ended with the machine blowing up and the figures running away in a panic. Something strange, and antenna-like had remained behind in Darren's rear then wriggled its way further inside.

"Ah, gross!"

"Is this your first time getting probed?"

"What?" Darren looked over to see a man with black hair and a moustache strapped to a table nearby.

"Yeah," the man said. "It's kind of annoying, but it's the kind of stuff you put up with living in a remote little mountain town. At least we don't have to deal with traffic."

"I feel like traffic is the better of the two," Darren said.

The man shrugged. "Hey, you're one of the new kids, right? I'm Randy Marsh. Nice to meet you."

"I'm Darren," he sat up to pull his pants back on then jumped down from the table.

"Hey, you broke free! You have incredible control of your asshole! Get me loose, too!"

"Okay…how?"

"Um… Oh! Try this panel over here."

Darren went over to the panel and touched it. Several lights flashed back and forth on it before stopping completely. "Uhh…" he touched the buttons in the same order and a check blinked across the panel screen before it did another sequence. "Oh, I get it." He easily followed the patterns until one sequence suddenly became overly complex and fast. "Oh, uh…" he pressed the buttons wrong and the machine started thrusting violently into Randy's butt.

"Oh god!" Randy yelled. "Agh! J-just – try again!"

The next sequence was equally as complex. Darren covered his eyes a little with one hand and reached out to press the buttons. Once again, the machine began to assault Randy.

"You've got to keep trying! I – believe – in you!"

"I'm sorry!" Darren said then activated the next sequence. The buttons flashed only twice. "Are you freaking kidding me?!" He angrily hit the buttons and the straps holding Randy down retracted.

"You did it!" Randy got up and pulled his pants back on. "Aw, thanks, kid! I don't know if you're even real, but consider me your friend. Now, we've got to figure out how to land this spaceship and get back home."

They left the room they were in and headed across the hallway towards what appeared to be an elevator. The doors slid open upon their approach and they stepped inside. There was a little tune playing as they rode the elevator up, and Randy started humming to it.

"Pretty catchy," he said.

The doors opened to release them into a larger hallway with clear walls that allowed them to see outside. "Oh shit," Darren said. "We're in space!"

"Not for long," Randy assured him and headed over to a large set of doors at the end. "Come on, this must be the cockpit on the other side of this door. It won't open though."

As Darren walked up to the door, the strange antenna object forced itself out from his rear and reacted with a panel beside the door.

"Oh, hey! The probe in your asshole seems to be interfacing with the lock. Okay, get ready!"

"Ugh." The probe retracted back inside of him. "Ready for what?"

As soon as the door had opened, Randy yelled and charged inside. "Moo, moo-moo, moo?!" One of the two aliens said as Randy punched the other in the face then yelled some more.

Astounded, Darren hurried inside to help.

"Jeez," he said after they had knocked unconscious the two aliens. "Thanks for the warning."

"Yeah, no problem," Randy said. "Okay…hm, now how do we control this thing?" He pressed a few buttons and pulled a little lever. "Hm…nothing. Oh! Oh, no, that's the windshield wipers."

"What's this one do?" Darren pressed a large red button.

An alarm began to blare across the spaceship and it suddenly made a sharp turn back towards Earth. They stumbled and slid across the floor as the ship turned almost completely on its side.

.

Brooke was once again awoken by Sniper; this time he was barking feverishly and scratching at her door. "What the heck is going on?" She opened the door and he bolted down the stairs. "Wait for me!" She hurried after him. He had stopped by the back door, jumping and barking madly. "Okay, okay!"

She followed him outside. He was barking at something high up in the sky. "What the hell is that?" She went back inside to grab a pair of binoculars then hurried up into the tall tree in her backyard. "Is that a freaking UFO?"

Through her binoculars, she watched as the large spacecraft came crashing down hard into the distant shopping mall with a loud explosion that set Sniper off even more. Several large metal chunks from the ship went flying in all directions, one of them crashing into her front yard somewhere.

"Holy shit!" She looked back into the binoculars and focused on a large piece that had crashed into the road where the shops were. "What is that?" A strange green liquid was oozing out of the wreckage and flowing into the sewer drains. "Oh, hell no."

She carefully climbed down from the tree and patted Sniper's back. "We're, uh, just going to pretend we didn't see or hear any of that for now. Okay? Let's go back to bed."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**A lot of Brooke's reactions to things are based off of my reactions the first time I played The Stick of Truth, and a lot of Darren's are based off of my friend's.**


	5. Chapter 5: Taco Bell

**There's a Steven Universe Future reference in this one. Specifically, an Amethyst reference.**

* * *

"Are you going to wake up at all today?"

Brooke grumbled something and turned over to see her mother standing in the doorway.

"Darren and another kid are downstairs waiting for you."

She debated going back to sleep anyway until Sniper suddenly jumped onto the bed with her and started spinning and stepping all over her as if he was doing some kind of complicated tap dance. "Augh! Sniper, stop! Get off!

After getting dressed, she made her way downstairs where Darren was sitting on the couch and Cartman was pacing around. "Finally!" Cartman said when he spotted her. "It's horrible! They came out of nowhere! There was a huge earthquake and then – and then there was burning in my yard! It's all over the news, look!" He turned on the TV.

The TV flicked on to a news channel in the middle of a broadcast. "…and that a large earthquake and several fires in the South Park area woke many residents from their sleep." They anchorman was saying. "Here with a report is a midget in a bikini."

"Yes, Tom, government workers here are assuring everyone that nothing out of the ordinary has happened. They claim that the only reason huge tents have gone up to cover this area is to mask the construction of a new Taco Bell."

"I don't think that's a Taco Bell," Brooke said.

"Yeah," Darren said. "Unless they're trying a new style?" She shot him a glare.

"It's horrible," Cartman said. "You don't understand."

"No," she told him. "I really don't."

"The elves…THEY TOOK THE STICK! And it's bullshit, because that is totally CHEATING! We specifically said no trying to take the Stick at night! We have to lay waste to their ENTIRE BASE! You have some incredible ability to make friends quickly, Sir Brooke. I'm sending you on a quest to go out into the lands of Zaron and recruit a whole other faction to Kupa Keep. Find the goth kids, and give them this letter." He handed her a letter then left out the front door, muttering angrily to himself.

"Man," she said. "I didn't even eat breakfast yet and you guys are already bugging me."

.

Brooke let out a yawn and a big stretch as she joined Darren outside. Sniper, who had followed her, let out a loud mocking yawn and wagged his tail. "Oh, whatever," she said. "You're the reason I didn't sleep good last night."

"So, where do we find the goth kids?" Darren asked.

"Well, from my experience, usually somewhere other people don't go when they don't have to be. You know, to avoid social interaction."

"Hmm…like school?"

"Probably. But first, we'll need a peace offering."

"Like what?"

"Dark roast coffee and cigarettes should suffice." She started walking away. "You go get the coffee. I'll find some cigarettes."

"We're not old enough to buy cigarettes."

"Who said I was buying any?"

.

"Okay, Sniper," Brooke said, glad to be alone aside from her dog. "Sniff out some irresponsible teens that we can snatch their cigarettes from."

The Doberman barked and began sniffing around, lowering his head and following an invisible trail. He led her through the shopping district, past the town hall, and around towards another street where there was a gun shop.

"Oh, this is the place Darren got that gas mask from," Brooke looked up at the building.

Sniper barked to call her attention over to the side of the building. She went over to find three older boys hanging around the dumpster and smoking cigarettes.

"Hey," one of them coughed. "Look at that cool dog!"

"Let's throw rocks at it!"

"No way, man! I wanna keep it!"

"No," one wearing a shirt with his own face on it snapped at them. "I'm gonna keep it! I'm going to train it to steal nude magazines for me!"

"None of you are going to do any of that, because he's MY dog," Brooke came around the corner to face them.

"Not for long!"

"You boys are dumb, aren't you?"

"What did you say, fourthie!?"

"Sniper," she pointed at them and the dog snarled. The three boys tensed. "Sick 'em!"

There was a loud commotion as screaming erupted from behind the gun shop as the three boys scrambled to get away from the dog. The vicious snarling and barking was backed up by Sniper charging at them and snapping his jaws very close to their legs and butts. Slobber flew in all directions as he snapped at the boys who were scrambling around like cornered mice. Finally, they managed to find an escape route and took off screaming and running down the street.

Brooke giggled as her dog pranced over to her and handed her an unopened pack of cigarettes. "Good boy! Who's the best scary boy?" He whined and wagged his tail as she vigorously rubbed his ears. "That's right, you are!"

As they turned the corner to leave, they encountered a couple of elf kids brandishing weapons at them. Sniper growled and barked loudly at them.

"Wait!" One of them shouted.

"Sniper," Brooke grabbed her dog's collar and he settled down. "Heel."

"New Girl," he said. "The Elf King has requested your presence. You can either come quietly or fight."

She glanced around at the four of them. "You think you four are a match for me and a trained guard dog?"

"That's why we brought back-up. And we have more men standing by!"

Several more elves came into view from around corners. Brooke looked around at them calmly, still debating. More poked up from the rooftops, aiming arrows at them. "Huh," she said. "You guys really did bring back-up." She thought a little more, weighing her options, then shrugged. "Alright, fine. Sniper, go home." The dog whined but followed the command.

They tied her hands behind her back and led her all the way across town back towards the street she lived on. Sniper watched from her yard as they led her past and further down the street, all the way to the end.

They walked through the gate into someone's backyard where many elves had gathered. They all stepped out of the way as she was led through the yard, some of them sending her glares while others looked frightened by her, and all the way to a wooden "throne" where a boy wearing red and gold robes, and a stick crown over his green flap cap sat waiting. Beside him stood a boy wearing a cape and a blue helmet, and a blonde-haired boy that Brooke recognized from the elves' attack on Kupa Keep yesterday.

"So," the boy sitting in the throne said. "You're that new girl that everyone keeps talking about and beating up my elves."

She shrugged.

"What's your name?"

"What's yours?" she said defensively.

"Kyle."

"Brooke."

He got up from his seat and walked over. "You're playing for the wrong side, dude! What did Wizard fat ass tell you? That we broke the rules and took the Stick last night? He's LYING."

"A likely story…" she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Cartman is the one you should be fighting against," the boy with the helmet told her. "He's hiding the Stick – which is cheating – and acting all betrayed to get you to recruit more people for him."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because that's the kind of asshole he is!"

She stared at him for a moment, thinking. "Mm, yeah I could probably believe that. …Probably."

Kyle untied her hands. "We tracked a Twitter raven who says that you're currently trying to recruit the goths. Go recruit them, but bring them to us instead. Then we can ransack Cartman's stupid kingdom and get the Stick back once and for all."

She looked at her wrists for a small moment. "I don't know," she said. "I mean, I don't really like him, but I like the other kids there…"

"I'm sure the others can be convinced eventually," he said and walked back to his throne. "But I'm trusting you to do what's right."

As he took his seat, most of the other kids left while others stuck around the yard. Brooke looked over and spotted Darren. "Darren?"

"Oh, hey, Brooke! I told them they didn't need to send the whole army after you just to get you to talk to them, but I think they were scared."

"As they should be," she turned away from him and whispered menacingly.

"Ha-ha, what?"

"Just kidding," she turned back to him. "Did you get that coffee?"

"No. The elves found me first."

"Well," she said. "Go get it."

"The Bard is at your disposal now," Kyle told them. "And our best ranger, Stan, can help you, too."

"Cool," Darren said and gestured to the Bard. "Come on Jimmy. Let's go get goth coffee."

"R-r-right-o then."

Stan met up with Brooke by the gate. She looked him up and down for a moment. "You okay? You look upset."

"All is lost," he said glumly. "My contacts, my maps, my friends list. All taken from me by the She-Ogre."

"What in the world is a She-Ogre?"

"The monster that dwells in a lair in my home. She has no soul. She took my iPhone, but she is too powerful for me to defeat on my own. No one else will help because they're afraid of her."

"Oh, well I'll help."

"Really?" he was surprised.

"Yeah. Besides, I'm sure I've seen worse than a She-Ogre, whatever that is…"

"Perhaps you ARE one to be trusted," he said. "Let us end this."

Brooke followed him to the house next door. Inside, Stan stopped for a moment at the base of the stairs. "Nothing can prepare us for this battle," he told her. "If I die, tell the guys I fought bravely."

Brooke stared at him. "Stan…I can assure you that you are not going to die today. I will not allow it. Everyone will blame me if you do."

He led the way upstairs and threw open one of the bedroom doors. "Give me back my iPhone, DEMON!"

"YOU LITTLE TURRRD!" an older girl wearing braces and headgear yelled at him.

"I've brought help! Let's see you try and take us BOTH!" He pulled out a heavy sword.

"That's a She-Ogre?" Brooke asked.

The girl yelled and leapt off the bed at them. They dodged out of her way and Stan swung his sword at her. She moved out of the way then pounced on him, pinning him to the ground and raising her fist to punch him. He raised his arms up to try and protect his face, closing his eyes tightly in fear of the oncoming blow, but it never came.

Brooke had snatched up Stan's sword and used it to send a hard blow to the girl's head and knocked her off of him.

Stan was surprised then quickly grabbed his phone from the floor. "I've got it!"

His older sister growled at them. "GET OUT OF MY ROOM, TURDS!"

The two of them hurried to scramble out of the room and leave the house. After catching his breath, Stan made a quick bow to Brooke. "I bow to you, ogre slayer. I'm glad to call you friend."

"Yeah," she breathed. "Uh, here's your sword."

.

Not entirely sure of where he was now, Darren had followed Jimmy once they had left Kyle's house. They went the opposite direction of Brooke and Stan and around to an area Darren had not yet seen.

"Oh," Jimmy said. "The coffee shop is this way," he pointed. "But if we go the other way we'll get to the cattle ranch. If you don't m-m-mind, I'd like to make a quick stop there."

"Oh, sure. What for?" He followed Jimmy towards the ranch.

"I saw online that the rancher is selling a flute. What I could do with a f-f-flute like that… I want to see if I can buy it from him."

They kept walking until they reached a hilly area covered in green grass. There was a white fence around a large portion where cows were grazing.

"Oh boy," Jimmy said. "We're here. Excuse us?! Hello?!"

"Hey, what are you doing here?" a man went over to them. "Get off my ranch!"

"Sorry to bother you, sir. We are elven warriors of the forest. I understand that you might have a f-f-flute for sale?"

"You're here to buy the flute?"

"Yes. It just so happens I'm a level ten bard, and a flute is just what I need to play even more magical songs of enchanmen- Of encha-cha… Magical songs of ench- Of en-"

"Yes, he wants the flute," Darren said.

"Well that's fine and all, but the flute's in the barn where the crazy cattle are locked up. Damnedest thing I ever saw. Some of the cattle started acting real funny. I tried to calm 'em down, but they shouted something in German and then tried to kill me!"

"Don't worry, sir," Jimmy told him. "You just need the help of a level ten bard and his warrior friend. Leave it to us!"

"Uhh, you sure?" Darren asked.

"Alright," the rancher said. "Here's the key to the barn. If you can deal with them crazy cows, then the flute is yours."

The two boys went over to the barn and Darren unlocked the door.

"Alright, cows," Jimmy said as Darren opened the door. "It's time to stop misbehavin'."

The four cows inside all turned to look at them. They were sickly green colored and wearing armbands decorated with swastikas. Each cow also wore a sash of explosives along its body.

"Hold the fuck up," Darren said.

One of the cows suddenly shouted something in German and they all pulled at something on their sashes. The fuses of each explosive lit with a sizzling sound.

"D-d-duck and cover!" Jimmy jumped behind a crate.

Darren panicked but managed to duck behind something just before the cows exploded in a bloody mess all over the barn. There was blood and chunks of cow scattered about, on the floor, the walls, and even the ceiling. Darren gagged a little.

"Wow, t-t-tough crowd."

"Just find the flute and let's go, please."

.

Brooke, Stan, Darren, and Jimmy all met up by the school. Stan was petting Brooke's dog, who had apparently decided to join them again, and Brooke was checking on the animals in her phone's farming game.

"Okay," Darren said as he and Jimmy joined them. He handed her a sealed cup of coffee. "We got the coffee."

"It's about time," she got up and took the cup. "Ew, what's on your shoulder?"

"Probably a piece of cow."

"Riiight," she stepped away from him and headed towards the side of the school. "You guys wait here. Sniper, come!"

She walked around the school towards the dumpsters where four kids were sitting around smoking and listening to strange music. Each of them was wearing black clothes and eyeliner.

"Who is that?" one of them asked.

"I think that's one of the new kids everyone keeps talking about," a girl said.

"What do you want?"

Brooke handed him the letter Cartman had given her. "I was told to give this to you."

"You always do what you're told?" he glanced at the letter then passed it over to the others.

Brooke laughed a little. "Surely you must be joking?"

The taller boy of the group read over the note. "No thanks, beat it kid. We don't play Dungeons and Dorks."

She shrugged and sat down, opening the pack of cigarettes in her pocket. "That's cool. Got a light?" She took a sip of the coffee as the nearest goth pulled out a lighter and lit the cigarette.

"What are you drinking?"

"Dark roast," she replied.

"Nice," said the girl. "That's very goth."

"That dog is pretty goth, too," the boy next to Brooke said. "Scary black dog with a spiked collar. Pretty goth."

"Yeah," Brooke said, pretending to take a puff of the cigarette. "So, the dorks that wanted me to recruit you guys are planning on having a war with some other dorks. I'm thinking of joining just to kick their conforming asses. You know?"

"Yeah," the tiny girl of the group said. "Take it to the next level. Really teach them all a lesson."

"Exactly," Brooke agreed. "Of course, it's a big job for one sensible person to do alone…"

The taller boy took a puff of his cigarette. "Hm, I get it. Alright, kid. If you can prove that you're really against the conformists, we'll help you out."

"Yeah? Alright, how do you expect me to do that?"

He took out a marker, grabbed a piece of cardboard and began writing something on it. "Here. There's a big PTA meeting happening right now at the community center." He handed her the sign which read "Fuck the Conformists." "You need to walk right into the middle of that meeting and tape this sign to their table. Make sure you get a picture, too."

Brooke threw her cigarette down and took the sign from him. "Consider it done. Come on, Sniper."

"How'd it go?" Stan asked as she came back around the corner.

"Almost there," she told him. "Darren, come with me."

"Oh, uh, okay."

They walked a little further down the road to the community center and went inside. The inside was filled with chattering parents and other adults. "It isn't right, I tell you!" one of them shouted over the noise. "Out of NOWHERE this HUGE Taco Bell is being built, and now our children are missing precious school time!"

A lady at the table in the front spoke. "We have been assured by the builders that they are working to fix whatever problems they've encountered and school should be able to resume soon."

"Resume soon?! Who do they think we are?! They think we're going to see a Taco Bell as being more important than our kids' educations?!"

"What if it's not really a Taco Bell we're dealing with?" Randy said.

"Hey," Darren nudged Brooke. "That's the guy I met last night when I was getting anal probed."

She did a double take at him. "W-what did you just say?!"

The crowd settled their commotion and turned their attentions to the two kids standing in the middle of the place. "Ah, thanks for coming, kid." Randy said.

"Am I supposed to be here?" Darren was confused.

"Everyone, these two are the new kids whose families have just moved to town. The boy and I have become close friends. His name is…I'm sorry what was your name again?"

"Darren."

"Right, well this child and I witnessed something last night, and I'd like you to hear his story. Go ahead, Darren."

"Uhhh," Darren suddenly seemed frightened with everyone staring at him. "I…uh. Space…butts."

There was a pause and another parent stood up from the crowd. "This is waste of everyone's time! If the PTA won't do something about Taco Bell taking over then the rest of us parents will!" All of the parents charged out of the building, shouting.

"You, uh, get a little nervous there?" Brooke smirked.

"Shut up!" Darren said.

Brooke went over to the table with the sign but Randy came over and snatched it from her. "Hey!"

"Look," he said. "I know how you guys are feeling, okay? But THIS isn't going to solve anything. We've got to get inside that 'Taco Bell' and find out what's really going on. You two help me with that, and I'll let you get away with this."

"Fine," she agreed. "I do kind of want to know now."

Randy looked at Darren. "I remember you on the ship. You have pretty good control over your farts. Meet me in the bathroom. It's time for you to learn some real power."

Darren exchanged a look with Brooke. "I guess I'll just wait here," she said.

Darren entered the men's bathroom and found Randy suddenly dressed in a karate outfit. "Huh? Dude, how did you change so fast?"

"Never mind that. I can tell you have potential, but you are undisciplined. Let me show you." He took a battle-ready stance. "Come at me. Try and fart on me, come on."

"If you say so."

Darren bent over and farted at him. Randy blocked his face then made a throwing motion to the side. "Hai-CHAA! See that? Your fart's over there somewhere. So… what do you do when people can block your farts? You must learn to control your farts to move and release at a specific time and place."

"You can do that?!" Darren asked excitedly.

"But of course, young grasshopper! I'm going to teach you… the Sneaky Squeaker. I will show you. Try and block my attack."

Randy repositioned himself and farted, blowing and making fanning motions. Darren watched, skeptically, until something squeaked behind him. "What?" he looked back, regretting this decision immediately as Randy ran over and punched him. "Ow! What the hell?!"

"You see that? I distracted you! Now you try. Make your fart detonate behind me."

Darren rubbed his face. "Ouch…okay." He cupped-a-spell then repeated what he had seen Randy doing until the little Squeaker sounded behind Randy.

A man entered the restroom. "Oh, hey guys."

"M-Mr. Mackey," Randy greeted and stepped out of the way. He leaned over to Darren as Mackey went to pee in the urinal. "A perfect opportunity. Use Sneaky Squeaker to distract Mr. Mackey over to the corner there."

Darren repeated the process. The fart sounded just as Mackey had zipped his pants back up. "Did you guys hear that?" he asked, walking over to the corner. "Sounded like a chipmunk…"

Randy suddenly charged and drop-kicked him, knocking him out cold. "KYAAA!"

Darren stared, wide-eyed.

"Very, VERY good," Randy told him. "Now, use what I've taught you and sneak inside that Taco Bell. Find out what they're up to and report back here. Bring evidence! Oh, and no matter what happens, never fart on anyone's balls."

"God, what took you so long?" Brooke asked as Darren finally left the restroom.

"Um, I had to learn a new fart. But we can go to the Taco Bell now."

She stared at him, a very disappointed expression on her face, then sighed. "Okay, let's go."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Did you get the reference?**

**Brooke can get along with pretty much anyone. Except Cartman. He is the incarnation of everything she hates. A lot of Brooke's personality in that regard is based off of myself. I have a variety of friends and people I get along with. Goths, weebs, nerds, "normies", popular, outcasts, rich, poor. All genders, all religions, all races, and all sexualities. I don't care, and neither does she. We should all be like that.**


	6. Chapter 6: To War

There was a large crowd of people gathered to see what was going on at the location of the new "Taco Bell." The huge spaceship had crashed almost completely vertically into what was once the South Park mall. Helicopters were flying around, trying to cover the ship with tarps, and a large banner that read "Taco Bell – Coming Soon!" had been draped across it. A barbwire fence had been erected around the site and was being guarded by armed military officials as people in hazmat suits moved in and out.

"Dang," Darren said as he and Brooke approached.

"They're not doing a very good job of hiding it," Brooke said. "Lucky for them, the people around here seem pretty stupid."

"Folks," a government agent addressed the crowd. "There's nothing out of the ordinary going on here. We're simply getting ready for the grand opening of a new Taco Bell. A very big Taco Bell, opening soon. Thank you. We know you're all very excited, but for your safety we ask that you remain clear of the construction site."

The crowd dispersed. The only people left now were Brooke and Darren and two armed guards positioned at either side of the gate.

"How are we supposed to get in?" Brooke asked.

"Hopefully the guards are kind of stupid, too," Darren said. He went over behind a stack of sandbags and sent out a Sneaky Squeaker.

"What the hell are you doing?" Brooke eyed him as he made strange motions and blowing sounds.

"Did you here that?" A guard asked as something squeaked on the other side of a nearby military vehicle. "Sounds like my Aunt Mona." The two guards went over to the vehicle to investigate.

"Go, go!" Darren whispered urgently.

"What kind of stupid ass shit was that?" Brooke asked as they hurried through the gate.

On the other side of the gate was a small building set up at the base of the spacecraft. "Do we go in?" Darren asked.

"Through the front door? Are you stupid?"

"You don't have to say it like that…"

"Come on." She led him over to a truck resting beside the building and climbed up a stack of crates then up onto the truck. Darren followed her lead then they hopped over to the roof of the building.

"What now?"

"The vent," she pointed. She took out her club and hooked the bent nails onto the vent blades and pried the blades off. "Stay quiet," she said and crawled into the vent.

They stopped to peer through another vent into a room where several people were having some sort of meeting around a table.

"So far we have been unable to stop the UFO from leaking the toxic waste. We've contained all we can but there are no guarantees that an outbreak will not occur."

An older man with an eyepatch sat at the head of the table. "And does the alien liquid appear to have the same effect as…last time?"

"Afraid so. When the alien waste reacts with organic material it turns things into…Nazi Zombies." One of the people pressed a button on a little remote and part of the wall slid open to reveal a glass container with a sickly-looking man inside shouting in German.

"God damnit," the man with the eyepatch stood up. "I'm so tired of Nazi Zombies. It's so overused."

"Sir, if the wrong person gets their hands on that green toxin, it can totally spread and we have a big problem."

"Yes… Alright, we're going to have to completely obliterate EVERYTHING in a three-block radius. Find locations for the bombs and bury it all. Then make up a fake story about an earthquake. We can contain the outbreak this time IF we act quickly enough. Let's move!"

"Holy shit," Darren was freaking out.

"Shh!" Brooke pushed him back the other way until they found another vent that was loose. Just as they opened it and jumped down, the nearby door was busted open by the zombie they had seen just a few minutes ago.

"What the fuck?!" Two armed guards turned to look.

"IT'S BROKEN FREE!"

There was screaming and gun shots as the zombie ripped one of the guard's head off and punched its fist through the other.

"OH GOD!" Darren yelled as it turned towards the two kids.

"Screw you, Zombie!" Brooke shouted at it and swung her club at its legs. Its legs snapped and gave way, causing it to fall. Brooke brought the club down hard on its head several times, bashing its head in until it finally stopped moving.

Darren stood there, shaking slightly and staring at her. "Y-you, uh, got a little on your…" Blood had splattered on her face and clothes.

She used her jacket sleeve to wipe her face. "I hate zombies," she said then opened the door to the meeting room. "One of those idiots left a recording device on the table. Let's get it and go."

"O-okay… Do you think we should take those SWAT helmets?"

"Why? It didn't do THEM any good."

.

"Here," Brooke handed Randy the recorder.

The other PTA leaders leaned over to look. "What's this?" Randy took it. "A recording!" He rewound the recorder, stopping it just at the part where the man had started talking about setting bombs.

"What?!" One of the other people gasped.

"They're gonna… just blow up three blocks?"

"Sons of bitches…" Randy said. "YOU SONS OF BITCHES!"

"What gives them the right?"

"I KNEW there was more to this," Randy said. "This isn't just a Taco Bell we're dealing with… It's the most massive Taco Bell ever built. You see, ever since the whole Doritos Locos Tacos thing, Taco Bell thinks they can do whatever they want."

"That's not at all what's going on," Darren said.

"No, not in our town it's not!" one of the PTA members said.

"You did well, kids." Randy gave Brooke back her cardboard sign. "Here, I'll take that picture you wanted… Nice. I'll send it to you."

.

Stan and Jimmy were no longer waiting at the school, but Sniper was sitting patiently for his master's return. "Shouldn't we have explained the whole…zombie thing?" Darren asked.

Her clothes still splattered with blood, Brooke said, "They'll figure it out. Anyways, wait here. Sniper, come."

She went back around the school to where the goth kids were sitting around and showed them the picture on her phone.

"Whoa, she did it."

"Nice."

"What do you guys think?"

"She's pretty goth -"

"She's pretty goth, right?"

"Alright, you've officially proven yourself. Just send us a message when and where you need us and we'll be there."

"Cool," Brooke said, looking very done with all of today's shit. "See ya."

"I feel her pain," the little girl of the group said as Brooke walked away.

.

"Ugh, glad that shit's done," Brooke said as they walked down their street. They had made a quick stop at her house so that she could change her clothes.

"So," Darren said. "Who are you going to side with?"

She walked past Cartman's house. "I like Butters and Kenny…but fuck that guy."

"Cartman?"

"Yeah, him."

They walked all the way down the street to Kyle's house and entered the backyard. "Okay," Brooke told him as they approached. "I befriended the goths."

"Great!" Kyle got up from his seat. "I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I am hereby making you both, and your dog, members of the Drow Elves of the Forest!" The other elves cheered. "You have our friendship! I hereby level the two of you up to: Commander!"

"Sweet!" Darren said.

"You barely did shit," Brooke glared at him.

"Hey! I got us into that government base."

"My lord! My lord!" Stan came hurrying through the crowd. "We know where the humans are hiding the Stick!"

"What? Really!?"

"We just intercepted their messages on Twitter."

"Ah, y-you shot down their message raven!"

"Right, right, we shot down their raven – and the evil Wizard King has hidden the Stick inside his desk at school!"

"Ah, of COURSE! DROW ELVES OF THE FOREST! WE KNOW WHERE THE HUMANS ARE HIDING THE STICK! I knew Cartman was CHEATING! WE SHALL MARCH ON THE SCHOOL AND MAKE THE HALLWAYS DRIP WITH THEIR BLOOD!"

The kids cheered.

"Oh god," Brooke said. "It's not over yet…"

.

A large crowd of children had gathered in front of the school. The goth kids had joined them, wearing Viking outfits. At the front, Darren was adjusting his hood and cape. Brooke had finally been convinced to wear a costume, and was sporting a black velvet dress decorated with spider web patterns and purple spiders, and a necklace with a silver skull dangling from it.

"I feel like Halloween," Brooke said.

"I think it's nice," Darren told her.

Sniper barked. Earlier, Brooke had allowed the other kids to decorate her dog with cardboard armor that was spray painted silver. The helmet he wore had decorative horns like that of a ram.

"Defenders of freedom!" Kyle addressed the crowd. "Thank you for your courage in joining our fight! Tonight, we are no longer elves or goths! Tonight, we FIGHT AS ONE!"

"I feel like such a homo sapien right now," one of the goths said.

"THE ELVES ARE HEEEEERE!" Scott's voice shouted from one of the top windows and another kid blew into a horn.

"They have blown their war horn! Blow ours, Stan!"

"'Kay," he blew into a horn.

"Elves, flank left! Goth kids, prepare to attack from behind!" He turned to Brooke and Darren. "The front's barricaded. See if you guys can get in through the side entrance and take out their defenses from behind!"

"Okie dokie," Brooke rested her club on her shoulder and walked over to the side of the school.

Several kids from the human side had been knocked out and were laying along the side of the building. "We took care of these conformists," one of the goths explained. "You guys go ahead."

Upon entering the school, the loud speaker echoed through the building with Cartman's voice. "Attention, Elf King. The building has been fortified, and the armies of Christ shall never surrender. You shall all die in this place."

"We'll see about that," Brooke exchanged glances with Darren and Sniper before heading into the next room, finding themselves in the cafeteria.

"Dude, this place is wrecked," Darren commented.

"The walls are too strong," an elf kid told them. "We've lost hundreds of men already."

There was a barricade nearby where a kid was blocking the way, using the emergency fire hose to blast water at anyone who got too close. Sniper had run over, just out of range, and started barking madly at the kid. While the kid was distracted, Brooke and Darren broke through the large vent in the wall and crawled around to the other side. Darren snuck up behind the kid and attacked him.

They left the cafeteria and exited out into the hallways. Off in one corner, an elf kid was being bombarded by two humans, his elven partner unconscious on the floor. "Sniper," Brooke pointed. "Go help that kid." While Sniper ran to chase them off, she and Darren confronted another barricade. This one had a lit torch standing in front of it.

Darren cupped-a-spell at the flame and it ignited in a blast that broke the barricade and attracted the attention of two kids on the other side. Brooke snatched up a nearby basketball and chucked it at them. It bounced off one kid's face with a loud pang and smacked into the other, knocking them both down.

"Let's keep moving," Brooke said as Sniper returned to her side after assisting the elf from before.

"What about him?" Darren pointed at a third human kid that was now looking terrified and shaking in the corner.

She went over to the kid and helped him up, much to both boys' surprise. "Get lost, kid." He hesitated a moment then ran off in the direction Brooke and Darren had come from.

Another voice echoed from the loudspeakers. "Douchebag, Brooke! It's me, Paladin Butters! Your friend! Don't be on Kyle's team. He may have cooler people on his side… a-and a better base… and sometimes they have pinata parties… I-I should probably just stop talking."

"Okay," Brooke said. "I'm starting to feel bad."

"Too late, now," Darren told her. "Or…is it?"

She shrugged. "Come on."

The next set of doors was locked with no visible way through, so they went through the door labeled "Basement" in hopes of finding another way around. In the basement they met up with Kyle and Stan who were watching one of the ginger hall monitors writhe around on the floor.

"Stay back you guys," Kyle warned. "Something is seriously wrong with the hallway monitors!"

"Help…please," the kid pleaded.

"Dude," Stan knelt beside the kid. "That's Gary Nelson! What happened?"

"We came to school the morning after the earthquake to report for duty," the kid explained. He coughed, green liquid dripping from his mouth. "We didn't know school had been canceled. We heard a sound from down here, found this green goo. It was everywhere. It…changed the others." He got up and started twitching, crunching sounds like breaking bones coming from his body. "Something in the goo…it…" The boy turned around, now looking pale and green and shouting in German.

"Oh shit!" Darren said.

Kyle screamed and ran back up the stairs. "Somehow that stuff makes hallway monitors even lamer!"

"Fucking ZOMBIE!" Brooke whipped out her club and charged at the zombie kid. "DIE!"

"Jesus Christ!" Stan exclaimed.

"BROOKE!" Darren said. "THAT WAS A KID!"

She stood over the body, breathing heavily. "That…was…a zombie. Fucking hate zombies."

Stan joined them as they moved further through the basement. Several pipes and drains were cracked and leaking the strange green liquid. "Don't touch that green stuff," Stan told them.

They cautiously made their way through the basement and up another set of stairs at the other end. The door led them to the entranceway of the school where Butters and some human kids were waiting.

"They're here!" Butters said and ran over to a makeshift catapult. "How'd you guys like some flaming dog turds?!"

"The fu- AH!" Darren jumped back as a large pile of flaming poop landed on the floor next to him.

"You suck, Butters!" Stan yelled.

They took cover up against the barricade that consisted of boxes and a wooden table. One of the flaming piles landed on top of the table and set it ablaze. As the other kids ran to attack them, Darren ignited the fire and blew the barricade apart, sending their attackers sprawling.

"Oh no, the lobby has fallen!" Butters ran through the back doors to hide somewhere further in the school.

"Get rid of that barricade and let our guys in!" Kyle called as he joined them in the lobby.

Stan launched a pile of the flaming poop from the catapult that landed all over the rest of the barricade, and Darren blew it all apart.

"YES!" Kyle said. "Now go through the main door! Before they can regroup!"

"Well," Butters said, turning around and tossing his cape dramatically as Brooke and Darren went after him. "If it isn't Kyle's lapdogs – the traitors Douchebag and Brooke!" He pulled out his hammer and a shield.

Brooke took a step forward and readied the side of her club where the nails had bent down. "You might find it hard to believe, Butters, but this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you."

"Feel my righteous fury!" Butters shouted and swung his hammer.

She moved out of the way and brought the club down on him, which he blocked with his shield.

Sniper was barking excitedly, and Darren wasn't entirely sure if he should do something or not to help.

Butters took a step back, holding out his hammer, and began to spin in place quickly before chucking the hammer at Brooke. It hit her in the chest, knocking her back onto her rear and almost winding her. "ACK!"

"Uhh, uh-oh," Butters quickly picked the hammer back up.

Brooke gritted her teeth and jumped back to her feet, club ready, and swung hard at him from the side. The position and force of impact knocked the shield out of his hand and the end of the club smacked him in the side of the head and knocked him to the floor.

"Wow…" He was laying on the floor, his head and mouth bleeding. "Y-you really are strong…"

She calmed down a little and started to feel bad, then she knelt beside him and carefully patted his forehead. "Oh, I'm sorry, Butters."

"Come on!" Kyle called them over to the stairs.

"Brooke," Darren said. "Let's go!"

"But I feel bad now…" she said.

"I know, but we have to go! He'll be fine."

She hesitated a moment then got up and followed them.

"Dude," Cartman's voice echoed from the loudspeaker. "Brooke, Douchebag. This is gonna be so sweet when you double-cross Kyle at the last minute, am I right?"

"Seriously guys, you're breaking my balls here…" his voice echoed again as they continued.

"Wizard fat ass is in here," Kyle gestured to one of the classrooms. He opened the door. "Back away from the desks, Wizard fat ass!"

"You're a traitor, Douchebag! How could you?!" Cartman said. "I should've expected it from a girl, but YOU!"

"Because he knows who the COOL KIDS are," Kyle said. "And as for Brooke, you're just mad that your best fighter is on OUR side now!"

"Yeah, because you STOLE her! And Douchebag goes with whatever she's doing!"

Darren shrugged. "Meh, it's kind of true."

"Go ahead and kick Cartman's ass, you two."

"I brought you two into the game," Cartman reminded them. "I made friends with you guys before anybody else would."

"They don't want to play with CHEATERS."

"I understand the elves have clouded your minds," Cartman ignored Kyle. Fight it. Come back to the light – attack Kyle."

Darren glanced between the two boys then looked to Brooke.

"What?" she asked.

"What?!" he flinched. "What do we do?!"

"What are you waiting for?" Kyle asked.

"Punch him right in his smug little lying face," Cartman told them.

"It's not me you should be fighting. Pick a side!"

"Agh!" Darren shifted his feet anxiously. "Oh man… Broooke!"

"Seriously?" she raised an eyebrow at him. "Why don't you decide what YOU want to do, and then I'll do what I'm going to do."

"Because I don't know the right answer!"

"Douchebag," Cartman said. "I was the one who brought you into this. I was the one who set out to recruit you in the first place. Me. THEY stole you! Why would I lie to you?"

"Uhh…" Darren glanced between them all a few more times before throwing his arms up defeatedly. "Okay, fine! I'll come back to you guys."

"YES!" Cartman said. "N-now, Brooke…"

She held her hand up, a small smile on her face. "Don't bother. I was planning on kicking your ass from the get-go, Cartman."

"WHAT?!" he clenched his fists. "Oh you mother fucker! I KNEW I shouldn't have let a girl play with us!"

She smiled more. "You're gonna die, Cartman. SNIPER!"

"Oh, shit…"

The sound of furious barking was growing louder until the big Doberman Pinscher burst his way through the crowd and, without a moment's pause as if knowing exactly what Brooke wanted, he tackled Cartman hard to the ground. He screamed and managed to block his face with his staff as the dog snapped and snarled violently at him, slobber falling on Cartman's face.

"AHHGHGH! SOMEBODY HELP ME! IT'S GONNA EAT MEEE!"

"Don't be ridiculous," Brooke said calmly. "Sniper prefers lean meat."

"Uhhh, Brooke?" Darren said cautiously. "Are you mad at me?"

"Of course not," she told him. "I expected as much, really. That's why I made you decide on your own first." Cartman was still screaming in the background. They looked over to see that Sniper had grabbed a hold of Cartman's shoulder and was attempting to drag him off. "Alright," Brooke said. "That's enough." The dog instantly dropped him and ran over to Brooke, tail wagging and tongue lolling out happily. "Good boy."

"Dude," Stan said. "That was kinda brutal."

"Weeeaaak…" Cartman groaned from the floor.

"The evil wizard has been defeated," Kyle said. "Great job, Brooke." Sniper barked at him. "Oh, uh, and you too, Sniper. Now, take the Stick from inside his desk!"

Stan went over to one of the desks. "Wait a minute…our desks don't have insides."

"What?"

Darren looked over at all the desks. "They're all just tabletops!"

Kyle was stunned. "But…T-Twitter said…"

Brooke went over to a flipped desk that Sniper was sniffing vigorously at. "Hey, this one has writing on it. It says, 'check my locker.'"

"Whose desk is that?" Kyle asked.

"That's…" Cartman sat himself up. "That's Clyde's desk…"

"Oh, so you mean I beat up Butters for nothing?" Brooke said.

They all shuffled out into the halls and found Clyde's locker. Inside was a laptop with a note that read "Play Me." They opened it and a video message began to play. Clyde was wearing padded armor and in his hand was the Stick. "Greetings humans and drow elves of Zaron," he said.

"HE took the Stick!" Cartman said.

Clyde's message continued. "While you have all been busy fighting amongst yourselves, I have built a kingdom beyond your comprehension! I prayed for a way to destroy you all and the solution came crashing down from the heavens!" He walked over to a large metal barrel with a spigot and a dead cat laying beneath it.

"It's that green stuff!" Kyle said.

"With what I have found, I shall raise an ARMY OF THE DEAD!" He turned the spigot and allowed a bit of the liquid to dribble onto the cat. Moments passed before the cat twitched and stood up, shouting German words. "I SHALL RAISE AN ENTIRE ARMY OF DARKNESS AND KILL THE EARTH!"

"Damn," Brooke said. "Revenge at its finest."

"Clyde," Stan said. "But why?"

"I banished him to be lost in space and time," Cartman explained. "Now he's all pissed off."

"So you see, FOOLS," Clyde's message continued. "I control the Stick AND the future of the Earth!"

"Clyde," a man's voice called from somewhere offscreen. "Do want a sandwich?"

"Not right now Dad, I'm making a ruler of darkness video… Whoever controls the Stick controls the universe – and my first deed is that I hereby DENOUNCE both the human and elf kingdoms! And stripe BOTH kings of all their power! HA HA HA HAHA!" The video ended.

There was a long pause before Cartman broke the silence. "Mother fucker!"

.

Cartman led the way and knocked on the front door of a brown house. A man answered. "Oh, hello kids!"

"CAN WE SPEAK TO CLYDE, PLEASE!?"

"Oh, Clyde's out playing in the backyard with his little friends."

They barged past him into the house and all the way to the backyard where they were amazed to find what was once a treehouse now turned into a massive dark tower.

"That's impressive," Brooke admitted.

"COME AND GET IT, LOSERS!" Clyde called from the top room.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT CLYDE," Cartman shouted up at him. "YOU'RE LOST IN TIME AND SPACE!"

"No I'm not!"

"YEAH YOU ARE, ASSHOLE!"

"Army of Darkness! Defend the fortress!"

A bunch of kids came into view from all over the fortress. Craig appeared beside Clyde.

"Craig…?" Cartman said. "CRAIG YOU'RE ON MY SIDE!"

"You don't have authority anymore," he said. "The keeper of the Stick said so."

"This can't be happening," Kyle said.

"Oh, it's happening," Brooke said.

"God damnit!" Cartman yelled. "I HAVE FUCKING AUTHORITAY!"

"Sorry warriors and wizards," Clyde smiled. "I'd love to invite you in, but I'm afraid you're too LATE!"

"Too late?" Stan said. "What do you mean we're too late?"

"THERE you are Butters!" a man suddenly approached them. "Do you know what time it is, mister?! It is WAY past your bedtime!"

"Oh shit," Cartman said. "It's past our bedtime?!"

"DUDE," Kyle ran off. "I'm gonna GET IT!"

The kids started scattering while Clyde laughed loudly. "Clyde," his dad called from the house. "It's past your bedtime!"

"HA HA! 'KAY COMING, DAD! HA HA AHAA!"

"Shit," Darren said. "My mom's gonna freak!"

Brooke shrugged, but left anyway. "Eh, my parents are used to me staying out 'til like midnight. Come on, Sniper."

**To be continued…**


	7. Chapter 7: Hobo Swirly

**There is a _tiny_ Markiplier reference in this one. Can you spot it?**

* * *

Brooke unlocked the door to her home and went inside to find her parents still awake and watching TV. "You were out late," her mother said. "Did you get lost?"

"No," she replied.

"What are you wearing?" her stepdad asked.

"Halloween. I'm going to bed. 'Night."

.

Sometime later in the night, Brooke was woken up to the sound of people singing. "Time to go to work! Work all night! Search for underpants HEY! We won't stop until we have underpants! Yum tum tummy tum tayyy!"

She grunted and turned over to see a bunch of tiny gnomes climbing onto each other's shoulders to reach the drawers of her dresser and pulling out her underwear. "What the -"

"OH SHIT, SHE'S AWAKE!"

"What?!"

"This kid is AWAKE! What the fuck do we do?!"

"Oh fuck. I guess we gotta kill her."

"What?" Brooke got out of her bed. "Who the hell do you think you are? And what are you doing with my underwear?!"

They charged at her, but she simply kicked them aside. "Shit," one of them shouted. "She's too big!"

"Damn it! SHRINK her, warlock!"

A gnome wearing a bird skull for a hat ran over and tossed some kind of powder out at her. It smelled strange and got in her nose, making her sneeze. "Augh, what was that? Huh?!" She was suddenly equal height with the gnomes. Everything in her room was gigantic.

"Any last words, pussy?" one of the gnomes asked as they prepared for a fight.

"What the hell did you assholes do to me?!" Angrily, she charged at the nearest gnome and punched him in the face.

"Oh," another gnome said. "You are SO FUCKED!" He pulled something out of a bag on his waist and suddenly a freezing cold wind blew at her. "Magic, bitch!"

"Ugh! Can't I sleep in peace for ONE NIGHT?!" She grabbed a sewing needle that had fallen onto the floor and jabbed at the nearest gnome with it, stabbing his shoulder.

"AGHH!"

"Holy shit, RUN!" All of the gnomes took off into a small mousehole in the base of the wall under her bed.

"Hey!" She ran after them. "Turn me back to normal size!"

She entered the hole in the wall and found a struggling rat whose tail had been clamped down by a mousetrap. She hesitated a moment at the rat as the gnomes ran off into the walls, then sighed and went over to the trap. "Dang it. I know I told my parents they better not use traps like this. Must've been here already…" With great effort, she managed to pry the trap open just enough for the rat to pull its tail out and take off running. "Stupid gnomes. You're all lucky I love animals… I'm gonna find you assholes."

She kept going forward and ended up crawling through a vent. Stopping because she heard strange noises, she peered through the blades to see her parents having sex in their room. "Ah, gross! You guys, seriously?" Something squeaked at her up ahead, and she looked over to see the rat from before poking its head in to look at her. "Oh, hello." It crawled over to her, sniffing cautiously, then leaned forward as she held her hand out to pet its head. "Those assholes stole my underwear, shrunk me, tried to kill me, and they didn't even stop to help a trapped animal." She lifted the rat's head so that they were looking into each other's eyes. "Let's go kick their asses."

The rat allowed her to climb onto its back. "Alright little Splinter, ONWARD! To victory!" She pointed her needle forward like a sword.

It squealed, rearing up like a horse, then bolting forward through the walls and climbing over pipes and insulation. Brooke held on to the brown fur on its shoulders as it scurried around, over, and under things. Riding a rat was nothing like riding a horse; actually, it was a little more fun. In no time, they had come to a loose light switch plate that Brooke pushed off the wall for the rat to climb through and hop down onto a dresser in her parents' room.

"Oh jeez," Brooke sighed at seeing her parents right now. "They're really going at it."

"Oh shit," a gnome said upon noticing Brooke and her new rat friend. "That kid is still following us!"

"Yeah, you assholes! Turn me back to normal size!"

"Oh, she's coming after YOU, warlock!"

"Oh FUCK!" the warlock hurried down the side of the dresser.

"Get back here!" Brooke hopped off the rat and chased after him.

"Shit," one of the gnomes on the dresser said. "That kid means business."

"I'm not changing you back!" he ran across the floor towards the bed. "I don't care what you do to me!"

"Oh, you WILL!" she chased him all the way up onto the bed.

He stopped and turned to face her. "You couldn't just let it go, could you?! You couldn't just let us take your underpants! Nooo, you had to go and start asking QUESTIONS! AH! Low bridge!" he jumped out of the way.

"What? OH GOD!" She jumped backwards out of the way of a giant pair of testicles that swung past them. "Uh… N-NO!" she turned back to the gnome. "You assholes are the ones who decided to attack me! I just wanna SLEEP!"

"Alright, alright!" the gnome said, wanting to get the hell out of there. "Here, take this!" He handed her a bag stuffed with some kind of powder. "Take it! You can use it to grow big or small whenever you want!"

She snatched the bag from him.

"All we wanted was to collect underpants to stop the Taco Bell from releasing its toxic green goo into our underground world! The green goo is actually a – AHHGHGH!" He was suddenly squished by a giant boob.

"What – OH SHIT!" the giant pair of testicles landed on her.

.

"Hey, hey, kid," a small squeaky voice said. "Wake up!"

Feeling something tapping vigorously on her cheek, Brooke sat up a little and rubbed her eyes. "Ugh, what?" She found herself back to normal size and back in her own bed. "Please tell me that was a nightmare." She looked over and saw a little gnome standing beside her pillow.

"I wish it was!" the gnome said. "Hey, we saved your ass from being suffocated by giant balls! So, can we have some underpants? We just need a few more to hit our quota."

She huffed. "Yeah, fine. I'm going take a shower."

After taking a very long shower and getting dressed, Brooke went downstairs, hurried past her parents without looking at them, and left the house.

"What's her problem?" her stepdad asked her mom.

"Do you think she heard us last night?"

Outside, Sniper ran over excitedly to see Brooke. "Sniper," she said. "The one time you sleep outside I get shrunken by tiny gnomes and squished by balls." He tilted his head at her. "At least I made a new friend." She pulled the brown rat out from the chest of her dress and allowed them to sniff each other before placing the rat on her shoulder. "Now you get to ride my shoulder!"

"Oh, hey Brooke," Darren yawned and he and Stan walked over. "Uh, when did you get a rat?"

"Last night." She glanced at the rat on her shoulder. "I shall call him…Snatch."

"Okay, but like…is that a wild rat?"

"Not anymore."

"Guys," Stan interrupted. "There's an emergency meeting at the Elven Forest. We gotta go."

.

"Ah," Kyle said as they entered the Elven Forest. "You're here. Take a seat and let's get started."

Stan and Darren had sat down first, leaving Brooke to sit in a chair beside Cartman. The two glared at each other for a moment before she sat down. "What do you have a stupid rat for?" Cartman commented.

"He's smarter than YOU." She said and Snatch hissed angrily at him, causing him to flinch a little.

"Humans and Elves of Zaron," Kyle said. "A great evil has descended upon us. After researching last night, I believe we are facing a threat to our entire world." He clicked on a projector that flashed images of Clyde's fortress. "Clyde's fortress of darkness is over four stories tall. So far, he has recruited at least fifty warriors on his team and –"

He was interrupted by Cartman's chuckling.

"You have something to say, wizard?"

"Uh, nothing," he said. "Just think it's kind of funny how drow elves in the Middle Ages can use Powerpoint." He snickered.

"This is SERIOUS. Clyde is attempting to raise an army of darkness, and I believe he is messing with something he cannot control. He's already recruited many of our friends and so… Our only hope is for our two factions to join forces."

"FUCK. THAT." Cartman said. "We do not team up with fucking ELVES."

"You got a better idea, Wizard fat ass?!" Stan snapped.

"After what you elves did to us at the Battle of Wormsly Woods?!" Butters yelled. "You think we'll ever trust you?!"

"Yeah," Cartman said. "You-you tell 'em Butters!"

"That- that was Jimmy's fault and he apologized!"

"Oh-Oh we're apologizing now? How about we apologize for breaking the rule about using arcane fire magic?"

"Hey," an elf said. "That was the humans' rule and not ours!"

"Join forces my paladin ass! Only good elf is a dead elf!"

"Why don't you s-s-suck my elven d-dick, Butters?" Jimmy said.

"OH MY GOD," Brooke yelled above them all. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" They all paused and stared at her. "Kyle," she said calmly. "Continue."

"Right," he said. "Whether we are human or elf isn't going to matter if all of Zaron is taken over by GERMAN ZOMBIES! We SAW what that green stuff does. We better find a way to stop Clyde, or there won't be a world to fight in."

"Even if we join forces," Stan said. "We don't have enough warriors."

"So we recruit more factions to join us," he told him. "The Pirates. The Federation… The Girls."

"THE GIRLS?!" Butters gasped.

"Kyle," Cartman said. "The girls are not gonna fucking play with us."

"Yeah," Darren admitted. "I can barely keep convincing Brooke to keep playing."

Brooke shrugged. "Honestly, I'm only here because Sniper likes it." Her dog barked agreement.

"Yeah, Kyle," Stan said. "We can't convince the girls to do this. Even Brooke barely cooperates."

"No," he admitted. "But maybe Brooke can."

"Huh?" she looked at him.

"She has a power we have yet to understand. She makes friends on Facebook faster than any we have seen. And she doesn't even post anything! And she's a girl."

"She is really good at getting Facebook friends," Cartman agreed. "I'll give her that."

"I don't need anything from YOU," she bucked up at him and he flinched down into his seat, holding his hands up to protect his face. A couple of the other boys chuckled.

"Commander Brooke," Kyle fussed.

"What?"

"Find a way to get the girls to side with us. I'll deal with the other factions. The rest of you, get back to your stations and prepare for war."

As everyone picked up their chairs, Cartman walked over to Brooke. "This may be an alliance, but it's an uneasy one. Also, I sent you a friend request." He walked away without another word.

"Uh, okay?" she checked her phone to find multiple requests from different people, including some of the gnomes. "Oh, yeah, Darren."

"Huh?" he walked over.

She handed him one of the little sensors she had gotten from Al Gore in the bushes. "Go put that over here," she showed him a spot on the marked map he had given her. "I'm going to go put this last one up by the junkyard before I go find the girls."

"You're actually doing what that guy asked?"

"Eh, why not?" She went over to Kenny who was looking into a hand mirror and fixing his wig. "Come on, Kenny. We're going to your house really quick."

"Hm? Okay."

.

After placing the sensor on the roof of Kenny's garage, Brooke slid down the side and hopped off into a pile of snow that made a clinking sound. "Aw, good thing I have boots on," she stepped out of the snow. "Pretty sure I just landed on broken glass."

"Yeah, probably," Kenny said.

As they were making their way to leave, Sniper suddenly took off in another direction along the old train tracks. "Hey," Brooke called. "Where are you going?! Weird…he doesn't do that."

"Let's follow him!"

They followed the dog's path along the tracks and ended up coming across some sort of hobo camp where three hobos were huddled around a fire burning in a metal drum and two others were lazing about near a tent and a pile of garbage. "Hey," one of them said to the kids. "Who the hell are you?"

"Oh shit," another said and sat up quickly. "That's the new kid from that house I stole the mail from! She knows!"

"What?!" Brooke said. "You stole my mail?!"

"Uhh…no?"

"Quick, get 'em!"

The kids screamed and ran out of the way as two of the hobos tried to grab them. "You freaks," Brooke yelled and swung her club to keep them away. Snatch jumped from her shoulder onto one who got too close and started running around in his clothes and biting him.

"AHH! IT'S IN MY PANTS! AHHGHGH!"

"Serves you right, weirdo!" Brooke said. She swung her club at his knees then looked over at the sound of muffled screaming.

One of them had managed to snatch up Kenny and was dunking his head into a toilet bowl. "Get a load of my special brew! How do you like THAT, huh?!"

"Oh my god, STOP!" Brooke gasped. "SNIPER!"

Sniper came bolting around the pile of garbage and leapt onto a hobo with a wild snarl. The one holding Kenny's head in the bowl quickly released the boy as Sniper turned to charge at him. The dog kept chasing after them through the junkyard, the sounds of barking and screaming getting further away.

"GIVE 'EM HELL SNIPER!" Brooke shouted then hurried over to help Kenny up. He was soaked with whatever strange concoction of liquid had been mixed into that bowl.

"Holy – shit," he hiccupped and stumbled sideways. "WOwww…"

"Um, are you okay?"

"Yeahhhh! I'm – great…" he giggled.

She peered into the toilet bowl. "Egh, what the heck is in there?"

"I don't know…" he tripped. "But I drank a LOT of it."

"Oh great," she said. "I guess we should get you home then…or to a hospital. Who knows what kind of alcohol and drugs were in that."

"No, no," he steadied himself a little. "…I'm fine."

"Mm, are you sure?"

"Yup," he hiccupped again. "Fine…yeah. What's next?"

"Uh… I guess we'll go meet up with Darren." She bent over to pick up Snatch then watched, a little concerned, as Kenny started singing to himself and stumbling in a zigzag motion.

.

After placing the sensor Brooke had given him, Darren stopped by a Chinese restaurant nearby in hopes of getting some lunch. "Herrow," the man at the counter greeted him. "Welcome to Schity Wok! Take-a order, please!"

"Umm, I don't know. I've never been here. What's good?" Darren asked.

"Only ting we-a serving today is Mongorian beef. Mongorian beef soo good, ooh I just LOVE it. Oh, herrow Mongorian!" He waved to a bunch of angry-looking Mongolian men sitting in the corner, all dressed in their armor. "Shh… Mongorians are watching," he whispered to Darren. "They conquer me last week. Act natural. Oh yeah, Mongorian beef, so tasty, right? Wow… It not tasty at all! It grwoss! Don't eat it! You eat-a Mongorian beef, you shit your pants for five days! Herrow, Mongorian!"

Darren was confused.

"Please, you gotta help me out. The Mongorians all live like RATS in the Tower of-a Peace next door. I'll keep the adults occupied here. You go top-a tower and beat up all their kids!"

"Uh, why?"

"You beat up all the Mongorian kids, then Mongorian think this neighborhood not a safe place. They move away! Go! Go! Beat up the little Mongorian kids! Oh," he waved again. "Herrow Mongorian!"

Darren went back outside and walked over to the large tower next door to the restaurant. The inside was filled with boxes of fireworks and rockets and appeared to be empty of all people. He made his way up the stairs until reaching the very top where he encountered a horde of Mongolians and their children. "Uh-oh…"

.

Brooke had reached the area Darren was supposed to be in just in time to see fireworks and rockets shooting from a large tower as it caught fire and collapsed to the ground. A few moments after, Darren crawled out from the rubble, coughing and covered in sweet and sour sauce. "Whoa," she said. "What happened?"

"Ah, I, uh, fought the Mongolian horde. Well, I tried to…" Sniper ran over and started licking the sauce from Darren's face. "They dumped hot sweet and sour sauce on me so I set their stuff on fire…then it all blew up. Um, what's wrong with HIM?"

Behind Brooke, Kenny was running around shouting "WHOO-HOO!" before he tripped and fell on his face with a grunt. "Oh," she looked over at him. "A hobo gave him a serious swirly in a toilet full of mysterious liquid and now he's acting crazy. There was probably alcohol in it…and maybe drugs." She went to help Kenny up. "Anyways, did you put that sensor thing in place?"

"Yeah," Darren said. "Now, if you'll excuse me a minute… I'm gonna go tell that Chinese dude to give me some food now."

"Okay? We'll just wait out here then." After he entered the restaurant, she turned back to see what Kenny was doing. "What are you staring at?" He was standing there staring at something across the street.

He took a few steps backward and grabbed her arm then pointed across the street. "You see that lady over there?"

"Uh…"

"I bet she has a DEEP vagina."

"Huh?!"

"What do you think?"

She blinked. "Um, Kenny…there's no one over there."

"Really?" he squinted across the street. "Oh yeah…weird." He paused a long moment before turning to look at her. "Brooke…"

She waited a moment but he didn't say anything. "Yes?"

"How deep is your vagina?"

"E-Excuse me?!"

He laughed and leaned against her for support. "Nothing! Ha-ha! …Hey! I'm a princess."

"Er…yes. Yes you…are."

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Uh, yeah, Kenny," she repositioned her feet so as not to fall from his weight. "You're beautiful. Now, can you get off of me?"

He leaned closer. "You wanna be a lesbian with me?"

"Kenny!"

He started laughing then stumbled backwards and fell, almost pulling her down with him.

"Gah!" she managed to catch herself. "You little -"

"I'm back," Darren announced. He had a takeout box of Chinese chicken and was eating it with chopsticks. He took a moment to stare at Kenny laying on the ground. "Is Princess Kenny still out of it?"

Kenny giggled.

"Yeah," Brooke said and dusted herself off. "Yeah, he is." She looked at her phone to check the time and found thirty-seven messages from Al Gore. "Jesus! Alright, we need to go find this guy now and tell him his sensors are up…and to stop messaging me."

.

"How do you know he's in here?" Darren asked. They had gone over to a storage unit area and stopped at one of the first units.

"He mentioned it in one of those messages," Brooke told him, looking at her phone. Behind her, Kenny was leaning against her and trying to take the phone from her. "Would you stop?" she fussed him.

Darren opened the storage unit's door. The inside of the unit had been furnished like that of a very crude research or investigator's place.

"You're back," Al Gore said as they entered. "But why haven't you liked any of my Facebook messages? Unless…"

"About that," Brooke began.

He gasped. "Of course! You're no normal human kid. It's YOU! MANBEARPIG!"

"Eh, excusemewhat?"

"HAA, I have you now! Let us fight to the death!"

"I ain't no goddamned ManBearPig!"

"That's EXACTLY what a ManBearPig would say!"

"Don't worry!" Kenny hiccupped. "I got it!" He pulled out his bow and shot it. The arrow missed by a mile and ricocheted off of several objects in the room, smacking a light, then hitting Brooke in the butt.

"OW!" she jumped.

"Dude," Darren said. "What are you even aiming at?"

"Huh?" Kenny was looking in another direction. "Whoopsie, heh-heh."

She pulled the toy arrow off of herself, shooting him a glare, then threw it at Al Gore. The suction cup tip stuck fast to his forehead and knocked him over. "Run!" Brooke grabbed Kenny's arm and ran out of the unit with Darren just behind.

.

"How's your butt?" Darren chuckled.

Brooke shot him a warning glance as they passed the town square. "Don't even TRY to be funny right now."

"Okay…ManBearPig."

She turned to snap at him but stopped upon noticing Kenny running around butt-naked with his wig still on his head. Curious, Darren turned to see what she was looking at.

"What the hell?" he said as Kenny faceplanted into the snow. "Ew, gross! The snow's turning yellow! Did you just pee?!"

He mumbled something into the snow.

"Why are you NAKED?!" Brooke said. She glanced around. "Wha- Where are your clothes?!"

"In the tree," he said simply as he sat up.

"What? Which tree?!"

"Yeah," Darren said. "We're surrounded by trees, man."

"I dunno… I'm cold."

"Dude, you're ass-naked and sitting in the snow," Darren told him.

He chuckled.

"Ugh," Brooke walked away. "Darren, watch him while I go find his clothes!"

"Aw, why do I have to watch him?"

"Because I said so!"

He flinched. "Jeez, okay, MOM."

Sniper pranced after her and sniffed at the air. "Please tell me you can sniff his clothes out?" Sniper barked and led her over to a snow-topped tree whose lower branches were dangling the boy's clothes. "How in the world did he get his clothes up there?" She placed Snatch on Sniper's back then began to climb up the tree.

"Wow," Kenny was looking down at himself sitting in the snow. "Look at my penis, it's HUGE!"

"Oh, wow," Darren said. "That's pretty hung."

Brooke stopped a moment to stare disapprovingly at them as she came back over to where they were.

"What?" Darren shrugged.

"Alright," she tossed Kenny's clothes on the ground next to him. "Get dressed."

"Noooo," he whined. "I don't wanna!"

"Put your clothes on!"

He held his arms up. "Dress me!"

"What?!"

"I'm a princess! Dress me!"

"Oh my god, are you freaking serious right now? Fine!" She grabbed his clothes and started dressing him, muttering to herself all the while as Darren giggled in the background. "There," she said after getting his pants and parka on him. "Put your wiener back in your pants!"

"Okay," Darren said. "Now you're just showing off."

"Do you still want to wear this?" she picked up Kenny's dress.

"Yes!" he said. "I'm a pretty princess! I need my dress!"

"Alright, alright." She pulled the dress down over his clothes then looked at her phone as it buzzed. "Ugh, it's that guy again."

"What guy?!" Kenny snapped at her and she casually pushed him over.

"What's he want now?" Darren asked.

The message on her phone read, "I warned you! I told you ManBearPig was real! He's attacking the church right now!"

She let out and exasperated sigh. "UGH! Let's go see what this freak is talking about at the church."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**For those who have not played or watched the Stick of Truth game, Kenny getting a hobo toilet swirly is not in it. I came up with that with my friend. We thought it would be funny and make for some fun and interesting original content. What was in the toilet? The world may never know... But Princess Kenny will be a little fucked up for a while.**

**Anyways, did anyone catch the Markiplier reference? Here's a small hint: it's a reference from a "Markiplier Makes" video.**


	8. Chapter 8: The Clinic

**So, I've actually already completed the Stick of Truth plot in this story. It goes up to chapter 10. Now, it's time to work on the original stuff, which will mostly be random crap (like episodes I guess?) but all steadily leading up to other plots as well as The Fractured but Whole. After chapter 10, I'm hoping to have more descriptive paragraphs AS WELL as all the crazy dialogue. Also, I'm steadily, _very slightly_ hinting at some (at the moment) secret stuff about Brooke which will be revealed some point after chapter 10. OH! And, since someone asked, no, Brooke and Darren are not and will never be a "thing." They're just good friends.**

* * *

"It's not the prettiest church, is it?" Darren asked.

They had located the church after receiving the message from Al Gore about the ManBearPig attacking. Upon arriving, they found that everything was quiet and there appeared to be nothing going on, which was about what Brooke had expected. She and Darren were standing in front of the church, examining the exterior.

"It's pretty plain," she shrugged. "But it's a church. And – STOP!"

Darren jumped.

Brooke quickly snatched Kenny's arm and roughly pulled him away from the road as a car jetted past.

"What'd you do that for?" Kenny asked drunkenly, looking annoyed to have been handled so roughly.

"Are you BLIND?!" she said exasperatedly. "You almost got hit by a car! You could've DIED!"

"Eh," he shrugged and plopped down on his rear. "Wouldn't be the first time."

She shuddered a little. "…What?"

Darren clicked his tongue. "Brooke, don't listen to him. He's loopy on that hobo brew, remember?"

"Oh, right…"

"Hey," Darren said. "Do you have Sniper's leash?"

"With me? Yeah, but he never needs it."

"Exactly! So, we can latch it onto Kenny so we can make sure he doesn't wander into the road or something, like a toddler."

"Toddlers are more trustworthy," she said and pulled the thin chain leash from her pocket.

Kenny watched absentmindedly as she hooked the latch end onto his waist. "Kinky," he said.

"Oh, whatever," she huffed.

Something rustled in the bushes nearby, attracting their attention. Sniper began to growl lowly, his ears and head lowered aggressively. A tall figure suddenly jumped out from behind a tree. From a distance, perhaps it could have been mistaken for some kind of monster, but up close it was obviously a man standing on stilts designed to look like hairy creature legs ending in hooves, holding long fake monster arms that were tipped with sharp claws, and wearing a helmet with fake animal ears and a pig's nose. "RAWR!" he said.

After getting over the initial surprise, Brooke looked highly disapproving. "Are you serious?"

"RAWRR!" he swung one of the long arms at them, barely missing with the sharp claws.

"Ah!" Darren jumped backwards. "He almost gouged out my eyes!"

"Alright," Brooke stamped her foot. "I've had enough of YOU!" She handed Sniper the other end of the leash which he grabbed in his jaws then she pulled out her club. "Let's do this!" She ducked under the arm as it swung again and charged at the stilt legs, swinging her club hard against them. Al lost his balance from the blow, one stilt knocked from underneath him, and he was balancing precariously on the other until the girl swung at that one, too.

"RAWRR – OH!" he fell to the ground.

"Dang it!" Brooke said. The wooden bat had cracked from the first blow and completely split in half from the second. The nailed end of the club was hanging from its other half by a few splinters. "He broke the Club of Justice!"

"Hey," Darren pointed at one of the monster arms. "Just take one of those as compensation. It's got super sharp claws."

She picked up the right arm and tested it a moment. "Hm… Yeah, okay. I shall dub thee: The Claw of Justice! The club shall live on!"

"Hooray!" Darren cheered.

"Okay," Brooke sighed contentedly. "Now, let's go find where all the girls in this town are hiding."

They left the church and continued past the police station until they reached the town hall where a small commotion caught their attention. Three older girls were bullying a younger girl with curly blonde hair. One of them had a doll that she was holding just out of the younger girl's reach. "Give it back," the younger girl pleaded.

"Why? Are you gonna cry?" the three bully girls laughed.

"Hold up, Darren," Brooke said. "I gotta beat some bullies."

"Oh, uh, okay."

She went over to the group, walking with a purpose, and stomped her foot down as she came to a stop near them. "Hey! Leave that girl alone!"

"Make us!"

"You asked for it!" Brooke cracked her knuckles.

"Oh dang," Darren said as he watched. He exchanged a look with Sniper and Snatch. "You think she seems more aggressive when she fights bullies?" The dog and rat both nodded. Kenny made to wander off but Sniper yanked the chain leash, causing the boy to fall on his butt with a grunt.

It didn't take very long before Brooke had all three bullies on the run. She steadied her breathing and fixed her hair before turning to the curly-haired girl. "Woo. That was actually a workout… Here," she handed her the doll. "This is yours, right?"

"Yeah," she smiled and happily took the doll back. "Thanks! I owe you one. My name's Annie. Who are you?"

"I'm Brooke." She gestured towards the others. "That's Darren, my dog Sniper, and our rat friend Snatch. Uh, the one on the leash is Kenny."

"Oh, yeah I know him from school," she said. "But…why is he on a leash? …And dressed like a girl?"

"The leash thing is a…long story. The dress is because of the game the boys are all playing."

"Oh, I get it. Yeah, I see them sometimes running around fighting each other and wearing weird clothes." She looked over Brooke's Halloween-y outfit. "Are you playing with them?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I had nothing better to do. Actually, some weird stuff is going down and they wanted me to ask the girls to help."

"The boys want us to play with them? Well, I can take you to see the other girls, but I don't think they'll be as willing as you are to play with boys. But, since you're a girl, they'll at least hear you out."

"That's fine."

"Oh, but those boys will have to stay here."

Brooke looked over at them. "Hear that? Sniper, you're in charge."

Darren threw his hands out. "The DOG?!"

.

Annie had brought Brooke to a purple hall lined with pinkish-purple desks where each sat a girl Brooke had never met, though so far, she had only met boys in this town. At the end of the little hall was a larger desk with two girls and behind that one was an even grander desk where sat a black-haired girl who wore a light purple jacket and a pink hat.

All of the girls turned to look at them as they entered, but Brooke was too busy looking around at everything to notice. The purple walls were covered with cutesy posters of unicorns and animals, decorative flowers, and pictures of attractive male actors and singers. "I must look SO out of place here," Brooke said aloud to herself.

"The four hundred and twelfth meeting of the girls is hereby called to order," the black-haired girl announced and lightly hit the desktop with a gavel. "Sparkle, sparkle."

"Sunshine!" All the other girls said at once.

Brooke tensed slightly.

"Sunshine sparkle," one of the two girls at the front said. "Millie Larson has the floor."

"If it pleases and sparkles, I move that we vote IMMEDIATELY on the urgent matter involving Monica Ryland." All of the other girls cheered approval.

Brooke didn't like the familiar feeling of standing in the middle of a counsel.

"Excuse me," Annie said. "Sorry, but I have an urgent matter that I believe needs to be addressed first."

"The chair acknowledges Annie."

"Sunshine sparkle, Annie Knitts has the floor."

"If it pleases and sparkles, a messenger comes with a request from the boys."

"What request do the boys ask of us?"

"Eh," Brooke suddenly snapped out of her tense daze. "Oh, um, the boys are playing some weird role-playing fantasy game. I guess we're like, about to go to war or something? Anyways, they wanted me to ask you girls to join our team. Oh, my name's Brooke, by the way."

All the girls greeted her.

"We don't have time for that!" The girl known as Millie said. "Something VERY big happened and we MUST do something!"

"I know," Annie said. "I thought maybe she could help."

"Oh," another girl said. "That's not a bad idea. I glitter Annie's idea!"

"Sunshine, sparkle. A motion has been glittered to have Brooke help with Monica Ryland."

"Alright," the girl at the head of the counsel said. "There are terrible rumors going around town that our good friend Allie Nelson was spotted at the abortion clinic. We aren't sure, but we THINK the girl spreading rumors about Allie is Monica Ryland. We HAVE to know for SURE if Monica Ryland is a two-faced bitch or not. That new boy in town that does whatever you say, he's your friend, right?"

"Friend, slave, whatever you want to call it." She shrugged.

"Boyfriend?" another girl asked.

"Ew, no," she told her. "Not even in his dreams."

Wendy, the head of the council spoke again. "Okay. We are gonna send Monica a Facebook page with HIS picture then tell her that he's BEBE'S boyfriend from Lakewood, and he wants to meet her and ask her what the best thing to get Bebe for her birthday would be, and see if Monica tries to hit on him at all because THAT way, we can see if Monica is a manipulative bitch. You just have to get him to go."

"Okay," Brooke nodded.

"Do this for us," Wendy picked up her gavel, "and we will CONSIDER your request. Sparkle!"

"Sunshine!" the other girls cheered.

.

"I gotta do what now?" Darren tilted his head.

"Go to the park to meet this girl and pretend to be Bebe's long distance boyfriend to see if Monica will hit on you." She said it so simply. She took the leash from Sniper's mouth and gently tugged on it to get Kenny's attention. "We'll wait here for you," she told Darren.

He left for the park, mumbling to himself. "I don't even know who those people are, why do I have to…"

.

Darren looked around the park until spotting a freckled girl waving for him to come over. "You must be Mike," she smiled and patted the bench to tell him to sit.

"Uh, yes?"

"So… you wanna talk about Bebe, huh? Well, look… Bebe's my friend. I think she's really great. I-I don't know if she's the END ALL BE ALL of girls – I mean… she's a little two-faced if you ask me… But hey, I read a lot of your Facebook profile, and I think you're a really interesting boy…"

Darren was completely lost.

"Aha!" three girls ran up from behind some bushes. "We KNEW it! You two-faced manipulative whore!"

"What the heck?!"

"Now we KNOW you're a two-faced bitch!"

"What do you mean?" Monica said. "You guys are my best friends!"

"Then why are you hitting on MY Facebook boyfriend? We brought someone else who might be interested."

"Monica!?" an older boy walked over. "What the fuck are you doing!?"

"Oh, uh, hey, Jake."

"Have fun you two-faced skank!"

"I am so confused," Darren said quietly to himself.

.

Darren returned to the town hall to find Brooke trying to look at something on her phone while holding one arm out to keep Kenny away who was desperately trying to take the phone from her again. "Get off of me, already!" Brooke said.

"Who are you texting!?"

"I'm not texting anybody! I'm trying to play sudoku!"

"Liar!"

"I'm serious!"

"Uh…" Darren wasn't sure what to do.

They both stopped and looked at him. "Oh," Brooke said, taking the opportunity to push Kenny aside. "You're back. How'd it go?"

"Good… I think? I don't really know what happened." He watched, a little worried, as Kenny started swinging his feet and humming to himself.

"Ah," Brooke said and handed Sniper the leash again. "Well, the girls want to thank you, so they said you can come this time. But they said I have to blindfold you."

"Okay?"

She made to move but something grabbed her leg and almost tripped her. "ACK!" she looked back to find Kenny clinging to her leg. "Let go of me!"

"Nooo! Don't leave again!"

She tried to pry her leg free. "I'll – be – right – back! Let – GO!" She pulled her leg away and fell over, her long hair falling in her face. "Ugh."

.

Once the blindfold had been taken off, Darren froze a moment, a little disturbed by all of the girly things around him. Even his sisters weren't this girly.

"Darren," Wendy said. "We want to thank you for helping us determine whether or not Monica was a two-faced bitch. She really made us mad, BUT it turns out she couldn't have been the one spreading rumors about Allie Nelson going to the abortion clinic. You see, Heidi Turner was SUPPOSED to put on the Facebook page that you were Bebe's boyfriend, but she DIDN'T. So, we need to know if Heidi Turner is the two-faced bitch. But in order to do that, we need people to think you're a girl!"

"What?!" he had been lost up until this point. "Why?!"

"Well, none of US can be seen at the abortion clinic." All of the girls agreed.

"Make over!" someone yelled.

"Make over!" the other girls yelled excitedly.

"Oh no! Wait!" He couldn't find the exit. Brooke stepped out of the way to watch as he was bombarded by all of the girls. She couldn't help but smirk.

.

Darren stood there, looking very uncomfortable, dressed in a light purple top stuffed with tissue paper for boobs, wearing a black skirt, a long black wig, and lots of makeup. Brooke had gone back to keep an eye on Kenny while the some of the other girls led Darren over to the abortion clinic.

"Alright," Wendy told him. "Get inside the clinic and find the records room. Take a picture of ALL the records for the past week and text them to us. You're on your own from here on out." The girls walked away.

Darren took a slow, deep breath then entered the clinic. "Hi," the nurse at the counter said. "Here for an abortion?"

"Uhhh…"

"It's okay, don't be nervous. The first one's always the scariest. Take room A, second door on the left."

Darren walked stiffly down the hall, stopping a moment at the door labeled "Records." A camera hanging from the ceiling by the door turned to look at him and spoke with a robotic voice. "Authorized personal, only. Access denied."

"Hi, I'm Doctor Poonlover," a man met up with him in the hall. "Here, right this way." He corralled Darren into a room. "Get up on the chair, this won't take long."

Darren hesitated.

"You're a little young to be having an abortion," the doctor said. "It's okay, we have a booster seat." He pulled out a flowery booster seat and placed it on the operating chair. "Go on, don't be shy."

Darren climbed into the seat and moved his skirt, making sure to hide his junk as best as he could. Dr. Poonlover told hold of a strange tube. "Alright, just sit back and relax. We'll have that fuck trash taken right out of you. Here we go…" He turned on the suction and placed it inside of Darren's butthole, apparently somehow believing it to be a vagina. Darren instinctually clenched and the machine broke. "What the… wow, never seen THAT before. You burned out the vacuum! I'm gonna have to go get another one. Be back in a minute." He left the room.

Darren climbed down from the chair. "Oh, jeez. Never thought I'd be thankful for that giant probe in my ass." He rummaged around through the drawers as quickly as possible until he found a set of surgical clothes. He changed his clothes, putting on the surgical wear, then hurried out of the room and down the hall.

"Access granted. Thank you, doctor." The robotic voice said and the door clicked open.

Darren skimmed through the files until he found the current year's then flipped through them to find the most recent files and take pictures. As soon as he had finished, someone fell down from the shelves, startling him.

"Oh, it YOU!" Randy got up. "Thank god!"

"What the – What are YOU doing here?"

"There's something strange going on," Randy explained. "The PTA reviewed that tape you guys got us. The Taco Bell has something called a Plan B. They've been here looking through these records. But why would they be interested in the gynecological files of the women of South Park?"

"I'm afraid now you know too much."

They looked to see two government men pointing guns at them. "Before you kill us, tell us why," Randy said. "Why is Taco Bell taking the records of women's vaginas in South Park?"

A strange device one of them was carrying started making frantic noises. "I'm picking up some hot readings on the ESRB. It's going crazy."

"Oh shit! There's an outbreak here!" the other pulled out a radio. "We have contamination in sector seven! All units to sector seven, NOW!"

"What's going on?!" Dr. Poonlover stepped out from the commotion.

"Taco Bell security. Your clinic is infected with the Nazi Zombie Virus."

"That's ridiculous," he said. "AND bigoted! I happen to BE German!"

"HE'S ONE OF THEM!" The government man blasted the doctor with bullets.

"OH MY GOD!" Darren shouted and Randy ran off somewhere.

.

Brooke was sitting on a bench and watching Kenny spinning around in circles until he fell over dizzy. Snatch, the little brown rat she had befriended, ran up beside her and squeaked urgently. "Hm? What's wrong?" she asked. "Is something going on at the clinic?" She had sent the rat earlier to spy. He squeaked loudly. "Okay," she handed him the little bag she had gotten from the gnomes. "Bring this to Darren. I'll text someone to go meet you guys there."

.

Darren was freaking out, he couldn't find a way out of the records room, but he definitely didn't want to go out there after seeing what they just did to that doctor. A squeaking noise pulled his attention over to a small mousehole in the wall where a rat was poking its head through. "Snatch?" The rat scurried over and offered him a tiny bag. Darren took the bag and looked inside at the glittery powder. "What is this?"

Snatch held his paws to his nose and sniffed, making this motion several times before the message had gotten across.

"You want me to smell it?" Darren sniffed the bag, accidentally taking in a big snort of the stuff. He felt dizzy and like he had to sneeze, and when he opened his eyes again, he was startled to find that he was now about the height of the rat. "Holy shit! What'd you give me that for?!"

Snatch ran over to the mousehole and stopped to look at him.

"Oh, okay!" Darren followed him through the walls until they found a loose electrical socket cover that they pushed open and hopped out from. They found themselves in another operating room. "Now what?"

Snatch made the same hand motions as before.

Darren took another whiff of the powder and suddenly found himself back to normal height. Sitting at the operating table was Randy, wearing a blonde wig. "Shh!" he said urgently.

"Nobody move!" a couple of government agents threw the door open.

"OH! Ha ha, what's going on?" Randy said in his best feminine voice. "I-I'm just here for an operation… oh, there you are, doctor! I'm ready when you are!"

Darren had forgotten that he was wearing surgical clothes.

"We'll see if you're a real doctor! Giver her an abortion! Do it!"

"Uh, okay!" Panicking, Darren grabbed a nearby syringe and injected it into Randy's balls.

"OW, my balls! Ah, my mal- my malls! My favorite shopping malls close at five! Can we please get this over with?"

Darren grabbed something metal that looked official and used it to "dilate" Randy.

"Oh-ho that's cold! Okay, do it. I'm ready."

Darren grabbed the suction device and stuck it in Randy's butt. He wasn't really sure what it was that it had sucked out of the man, but, quite frankly, he didn't want to know.

"He did it," one of the agents said.

Suddenly, the lights went out.

"What the hell?" the agents ran off down the hall and gun shots sounded.

"Uh, you go ahead," Randy told Darren. "Might be a while before I can walk very well."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Darren left the room in time to see tiny gray fetuses burst through a glass door, shouting in German, then climbing the walls and jumping onto the agents and biting their necks. Before he could react properly, the vent above him in the ceiling collapsed and Butters fell out.

"Oh, god damnit," Butters said and got up. "I'm here for ya, buddy!"

"Butters!" Darren was greatly relieved to not be alone.

"Oh, look at that little fella," Butters watched one of the fetuses chewing on a dead man. "Are those little babies sucking blood?"

"We need to get out of here," Darren opened the little bag of powder. "Butters, snort this!"

After turning tiny, Snatch ran over to guide them to another vent. As they passed each grate, they saw scenes of mass chaos. Government agents blasting their guns at tiny Nazi Zombie fetuses that jumped and attacked them like Dead Space monsters. The sounds of gun shots and screaming filled the building.

"Jeez," Butters said. "It's a holocaust out there!"

"BABIES ARE EATING MY BRAINS!"

They made their way through the vents until they reached a quieter area before exiting and returning to normal size. They appeared to be in the main lobby. "That's it," an agent was saying. "The area is secure. Code green." The lobby was dark and dead bodies covered in bloody wounds and gun shots were strewn about.

"It's not secure…" the doctor groaned. "Y-You don't understand… Khloe Kardashian was in here this morning. She had… the biggest abortion I've ever seen…"

There was a pause, then a massive fetus zombie about the size of a fully grown elephant burst through the wall. It grabbed the agents and ripped them in half.

"OH HAMBURGERS!" Butters screamed.

Darren and Snatch also screamed.

"WHAT DO WE DO!?" Butters shouted.

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Suddenly, the front door was kicked open harshly and they looked to see Brooke brandishing her Claw of Justice. "ZOMBIEEEE!" She charged and slashed at the giant fetus monster.

Darren, Butters, and even Snatch sat huddled in the furthest corner, shaking, as they watched her fight this atrocity. Even once it had fallen and stopped moving, the boys were too frightened to get up right away.

Brooke was panting, covered in nasty green blood, her hair strewn across her face. "I freaking KNEW there were zombies here! I HATE zombies!" She turned to look at the boys shaking fearfully in the corner. "What's wrong with you guys?"

They suddenly ran over and hugged her, ignoring the gross green blood that was now getting on them as well. "Thank GOD you showed up!" Darren said.

"Yeah," Butters said. "I thought we were goners! I-I came to help like you said, b-but I didn't expect THAT!"

She sighed and hugged them back. "You know, you guys are covered in the zombie fetus juice now?" They didn't seem to care at the moment and continued hugging her. "…okay. Let me go now."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Rest in peace Club of Justice. You shall be remembered fondly. Live on! In the Claw! But the Claw doesn't have bonus HIV damage...**

**So my favorite lines in this chapter are "fuck trash" and "BABIES ARE EATING MY BRAINS!"**


	9. Chapter 9: Northern Kingdom

"We're very thankful for you texting us the abortion records," Wendy said as Darren's blindfold was removed. "Unfortunately, the doctor who wrote them is from Paris, so it's all in French."

"That two-faced skank thinks she can out smart us!" one of the girls said.

"We want to help you guys," Wendy continued, "but we just can't have a two-faced bitch on the loose. If you could find a way to get these documents translated, then we'll be able to help."

.

"So, that's it, huh?" Kyle and the others had gathered around in the backyard to hear Darren's explanation.

Cartman glanced over the documents. "Some kind of strange Orcish. I've seen this language before, in the kingdom to the north."

"I'm pretty sure it's just French," Darren said.

"Still," Cartman started rummaging through a toy box. "No one here speaks it. You'll have to go to the kingdom to the north, but to infiltrate it, you'll have to assume another identity." He pulled out a fake passport and handed it to him. "You are no longer Douchebag. Your name is now 'Larry Bobinski', from Cleveland."

"Just keep going north through the Lost Forest until you reach the border," Kyle told him.

"You better go get a real passport photo, though," Stand added. "You won't make it past border control without one."

"What about anyone else?" Darren asked. "I don't want to go alone!"

"I'll come," Brooke said with a shrug. "I have a passport…of sorts."

"Okay," Kyle said. "Good, now you can –" He stopped, staring open-mouthed and wide-eyed at something.

They looked over to see Kenny squatting near the fence and taking a dump. "Oh, KENNY NO!" Brooke shouted. Sniper and Snatch whimpered and tried to cover their eyes with their paws while Cartman stared blankly for a moment before laughing loudly.

"Dude…" Stan said.

"Take him with you!" Kyle yelled and pointed at Kenny.

.

Brooke, Kenny, Sniper and Snatch remained outside while Darren went into the shop called Photo Dojo. "I need a passport photo," he said as he approached the counter.

"Okay," the man at the counter said. "Just come on over into this room and we can get started." He led him into a different room where there were lights set up around a greenscreen and a camera standing in-between. "Step into the lights, please. Eh, do you have anything else you can wear?"

"Uh, I guess?" Darren took his roleplaying outfit off since his regular clothes were just underneath.

"Uh, no," the man said critically. "Tell you what, how about just no shirt at all?"

"Oh…kay?" Suspicious, Darren removed his shirt. "Can we get this over with now?"

"Ok, yeah that's better. Mm, no, those pants just don't work with the lighting… Could just roll up your pants, or… just take-take the pants off, too."

"What?! No way!"

"Mm, not really feeling those pants…"

"I'm not taking my pants off!"

"You want your passport photo taken or not?"

"Fine!" Darren growled and kicked his pants off. "There!"

"Ok, that's very nice," the man snapped a few pictures. "How about we lose the underwear?"

"You sick son of a bitch!" a beat-up man jumped up from behind some boxes in the corner. "Stop him!"

"You'll never take me alive!" the perv rushed out of the room.

Outside, Sniper and Kenny were standing just in front of the door. Kenny was trying to wander off somewhere again and Sniper was tugging on the other end of the chain leash to keep him from doing so. This time, however, Sniper was entertaining himself with it by holding the leash taut instead of just yanking the boy back. The chain was stretched straight across in front of the door with both the boy and the dog resisting each other and not letting any slack, so when a man suddenly came running out of the building he tripped and flipped right over the chain and fell face-first onto the hard asphalt.

"Holy shit!" Brooke said. Sniper and Kenny had stopped to look curiously at the man, tilting their heads.

A few moments later, Darren exited the building and hurried over to kick the fallen man in the head. "You freaking pervert!"

"Uh, what happened in there?" Brooke asked. "And why is your shirt on backwards?"

"Huh? Oh, I was rushing to put it back on. This freak was trying to get me naked!"

"You, naked? Ew, gross."

"Shut up! Anyways," Darren huffed. "I got the stupid passport photo. Now, where are we going?"

"North, apparently. Come on, Kenny."

"Come on what?" he asked curiously.

"Huh?"

"Come on what?!" He started moving his dress to undo his pants. "I mean, I'm up for anything…"

"What are – NO! Kenny, STOP!"

"What?"

"Oh my god! Let's just go already!" She walked off.

.

At some point as they were walking through the woods, Kenny suddenly threw himself down and refused to walk anymore or even get up. Sniper tried to drag him but quickly got annoyed and started whining at Brooke.

"Kenny," Brooke stopped. "What are you doing? Get up."

"No," he said. "I don't wanna walk anymore!"

"We're almost there, get up," she told him.

"No, fuck you!"

She let out an overly exasperated sigh. "Fine!" She grabbed him and hefted him over her shoulder.

"You're just going to carry him like a sack of potatoes?" Darren asked.

"Yup." She kept walking.

"I'm sorry I said 'fuck you'." Kenny grunted after a few silent minutes.

"I wasn't really offended," Brooke said.

"Okay," he giggled. "You're strong."

"Well, it's not like you weigh very much."

A little while later, they reached the edge of the forest where there was a small security booth with a gate. Standing on the other side was a man in a ranger outfit. "Stop right there, eh!" he demanded. "You can't cross the border into Canada without passports!"

"How the hell did we get to Canada?" Brooke asked. "There's like three or four states between Colorado and Canada…"

Darren took her passport with his and handed it to the man.

"Ah! I see you DO have passports! …Papers appear to be in order. What about the princess boy on your shoulder?"

"He's my luggage," Brooke said, meaning it as a joke.

"Hm, works for me."

"Oh."

"Very well," the man said. "I hereby grant thee access to the great nation of Canada! OPEN THE GATE!" There was a pause. "Oh, I'll do it. Hold on…" he walked over to the booth and pressed a button and the gate opened. "There you go."

"Thanks…" Darren retrieved their passports as they passed through.

"Welcome to Ottawa," someone greeted them as they entered the nearest town. "You're not from around here, are ya? Well, best go meet the prince and princess of Canada." He pointed at a large modern-styled castle. "They live over there. In the big mansion-looking castle thing."

"Ugh," Kenny moaned. "I don't feel so good…"

Brooke placed him down. "Why? What's wrong?" He suddenly vomited on the ground with a wretched noise. "…I am SO glad that I put you down before that happened."

"Aw, gross!" Darren said.

"Wow," the Canadian man said. "That's fucking disgusting. Well, enjoy Canada!"

.

"All hail the prince and princess of Canada!" a guard said as he led them over to where a couple was seated on thrones.

"Well, well, what have we here?" the prince looked over them. "Heroes from the south? Not just anyone can pass the guard at the great border. You must have beaten the odds and obtained…a passport. I am the Prince of Canada, and this is my lovely wife." The woman beside him made a small fart-like sound.

"Did that lady just queef?" Darren muttered.

"How can I help you?" the prince asked.

"We need this translated," Brooke handed him the documents.

"What's this? Hmm, I've seen this language before, but I believe it is only spoken in a specific part of Canada. Actually, the Minister of Montreal could translate this. But I had him imprisoned. I'd like to help you, but I think this might be another ploy by the Bishop of Banff to have Montreal allowed back into the kingdom."

"Some Canadians think our nation should be united again, my Lord," a nearby guard said.

The prince stared at him for a long moment before smacking him across the face. "SHUT UP! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" The prince looked back to Brooke. "Listen, it's all because the Bishop is a liberal. He does these things just to make life more difficult FOR ME. And – OH MY GOD?! Why is that crossdressing kid puking on all of my things?!"

"Oh," Brooke tried not to look back at Kenny as she heard his retching. "Uh, just ignore him."

"IGNORE HIM?! He just puked in a very expensive vase!"

"I'll clean it, just ignore him!"

"Before I cooperate with you, I must know that I can trust you. Go to Banff and – kill the Bishop."

"What?"

"Kill the Bishop of Banff?!" the princess gasped.

"Shh, you, shh. Kill the Bishop of Banff and bring me his balls as proof. Do this and I shall allow you into the Catacombs of Quebec, where the Minister is being held. Make haste! And be careful. The wilds of Canada are overrun with Dire Wolves. You know what Dire Wolves are, right? They're like regular wolves…but they're DIRE."

"Today is going to be another long day…" Brooke took the documents back.

As they left Ottawa, they were almost immediately rushed by three very large, very strange looking wolves. "Dire Wolves!" Darren shouted.

Sniper was barking furiously while Snatch hid in the dog's cardboard armor. "Get out of here!" Brooke swung her Claw of Justice in a sweeping motion. "Shoo! Bad wolves! Darren! Do something useful for once!"

"Uh, uh, okay!" He cupped-a-spell and threw it at one of the wolves' faces. The wolf dry heaved for a moment then turned and ran off with its tail between its legs. After seeing this, the other two ran away as well.

"God," Brooke said. "You're fucking repulsive." Behind her, Kenny threw up in a bush.

.

"Are we really going to kill a bishop?" Darren asked worriedly as they entered a large cathedral.

"What's this?!" an older man in yellow and white robes gasped. He had heard Darren's question as the kids entered. "You're going to kill me?! Assassin!"

"The Prince of Canada wants us to kill you," Brooke explained.

Noticing the giant monster claw on her back, the Bishop held his hands up. "Whoa! Wait, please! You don't have to kill me! I'll go away and the Prince will never know I'm alive."

"Okay," Brooke shrugged. "But he said he wants your balls as proof."

The Bishop reached in his robes and pulled out a pair of testicles. "Take these Dire Pig testicles, and tell the Prince they're mine."

"…Darren," Brooke said. "Take those."

"Wow," the Bishop said as Darren took the pig balls from him. "Sure glad I kept those…"

"That was easy," Brooke said. Somewhere off in the corner, Kenny was puking loudly again. "Okay, let's get back to the prince."

.

"Did you kill him?" the prince asked excitedly as the children returned. Darren handed him the testicles. "Yay! The Bishop's balls! Now religion won't interfere with government! How can we ever repay you?"

"You said you would free the Minister of Montreal, my Lord," the princess told him.

"Sorry, no can do. With both the Bishop and Minister taken care of, my throne is secure."

"But, my liege, we made a promise!"

"Shh, you, SHH!" As he walked away the princess hurried over to the kids and handed Brooke a sealed letter.

"Quickly," she said. "You must speak with the Duke of Vancouver. He can help you get into the Catacombs of Quebec. Just give him this letter. Hurry!"

"Ugh, just back and forth and back and forth," Brooke said as she made her way to the exit.

"Hey," Darren asked as he grabbed Kenny's arm and followed her. "Did you ever actually clean that vase Kenny threw up in?"

"Pfft, no! Hurry, let's go."

.

"Maybe we should have asked where Vancouver was before we left," Darren said, looking up at Brooke.

She had climbed up onto a large boulder and was trying to get a lay of the land. Kenny was jumping up at the base of the large rock, trying to figure out how she got up there. "Come back down!" He whined.

"No, I'm busy," she looked at a large map. "I grabbed this map. I just have to figure out –"

"Huzzah!" Kenny had gone around and climbed up the boulder then tackled the girl from behind.

"AH!"

They fell from the large rock onto the grass below, Kenny landing on top of her back. "And you said I couldn't do it," Kenny pointed at Darren.

"No, I said you SHOULDN'T do it."

Brooke growled and jabbed her index finger into a spot on the map. "We need to go west!"

Kenny laid down on her back and snuggled up to her. "You're comfy," he hummed.

"What the – are you going to SLEEP?! Get off of me!"

Darren chuckled at them.

.

After Brooke had finally managed to pull herself free and get Kenny back on his feet, they continued further west until they reached the town of Vancouver. Just outside of the entranceway to the town a large striped snake was rearing up and threatening them with its fangs.

"Is that a coral snake or one of those nonvenomous copycats?" Darren asked. He gasped. "Oh no! It must be a DIRE snake!"

The snake darted towards them, hissing angrily. However, as it neared them, Kenny suddenly violently puked all over it. The snake sat there for a moment, covered in vomit, then seemed to panic and slither away as fast as possible.

"Hooray!" a guard ran over to them. "You defeated that dastardly Dire snake!"

"I KNEW it!" Darren said.

"That little shit had been causing us problems for weeks. Anyways, welcome to Vancouver! What can I do for you?"

"We need to speak with the Duke," Brooke said.

"Ah, yes! Right this way."

.

"A letter from the Princess?" the Duke hurriedly read over the letter Brooke had given him. "What?! Why, according to this, the Prince had something to do with the disappearance of the Bishop and has imprisoned the Minister unjustly! Hmm, if you wish to brave the Catacombs of Quebec, you would have to speak with the monks who live to the southeast of town. Only they can train you in such sorcery needed to penetrate the Catacombs."

Kenny chuckled.

"I guess this is where they live?" Darren asked. They had walked down to the southeast corner of town and found a large log cabin.

"I don't know," Brooke said, watching Kenny vomit again. Once he had finished, she led him away and sat him down by a tree. "If it has anything to do with your 'magic' then I don't want any part of it. Besides," she sat down beside Kenny who was now looking very groggy. "I think Kenny needs a break. We'll wait here."

"But every time you do, some weird shit happens to me!"

"You'll be fine," she told him. "You haven't died yet."

"YET!"

He left them to enter the log cabin and was amazed at who was inside. "You're Terrance and Phillip!" he said excitedly. "Holy shit! YOU'RE the monks I'm supposed to learn from?"

"Yes, that is us," Terrance said.

"Ha," Phillip scoffed. "US teach YOU? Impossible! You probably don't even know how to fart!"

"Yeah I do!" he let out a Dragonshout.

"Oh! He knows Dragonshout!"

"Any magician's apprentice can Dragonshout," Terrance told him. "It's not like he farted into his hand and hit you in face with it, Phillip."

"But I can do that, too!" Darren threw a fart at him.

"My god, he can cup-a-spell!"

"Oh?" Phillip was getting interested now. "Well, can you sneak a fart behind someone's back?" A squeaky little fart sounded behind them.

"The Sneaky Squeaker!" Terrance exclaimed.

"Very impressive," Phillip told Darren. "You are worthy of our training after all."

"Yes, prepare thyself, child. It is time for you to learn some TRUE magic." They both farted in his face.

Darren suddenly woke to find himself surrounded by a white light. "What the…am I in the Matrix?"

"Your magic is truly impressive, young American." He looked over to see the two men suddenly wearing black coats and sunglasses.

"Not since Eric Von Thunderpants of Novia Scotia have we seen such prowess," Phillip said.

"Yes," Terrance agreed. "But now you must learn to control your anus muscles in just the right way to change a spell's frequency." A large brick wall suddenly appeared.

"Some objects seem too large to be damaged by magic," Phillip walked over to the wall. "But I will break through it with… NAGASAKI!" He let out a loud powerful fart that completely destroyed and blew away the wall.

"Now you try. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!"

Darren turned his rear to the new wall that had appeared. He struggled for a moment, the wall shaking slightly, then released a fart that blew it away.

"That's it! Now, let us see it battle!" Three men suddenly appeared in front of Darren.

"These three pedophiles from Alberta will have their way with you unless you blow them all away with one move!"

"Nagasaki!"

Darren blew the pedophiles away with a loud echoing fart.

Terrance and Phillip laughed hysterically. "You have the POWER!"

"Ugh," Darren woke up on the floor of the log cabin. "Aw man, my ass hurts. Did I get raped?"

"You did it, kid!" Terrance told him as he stood up. "Now go out and use the powers of your anus for the good of mankind!"

"And never fart on a man's balls," Phillip added.

.

Brooke lightly rubbed Kenny's back as he lay in her lap groaning in pain. "Ughhh…I feel like shit." He said. His stomach was sick and he had a serious headache.

"I know," she soothed and patted his head with her other hand. "It'll be okay."

"Hey, Brooke!" Darren came running over excitedly. "Watch what I learned!" He bent over with his rear facing an old fallen tree. For a moment, nothing happened, and Brooke stared at him blankly, wondering why she was friends with him. Then suddenly, the tree began to shake and the ground around them began to shake as well until the fallen tree exploded with a loud echoing fart and all of the pieces went flying away.

She continued to stare. "… What in the crystal meth, uncle nephew-son, satellite dish hooked up to the trailer, Kool Aid without sugar, frozen hot pocket dinner, five teeth missing, creek water sippin', tobacco dip packin', dumpster diving, out of toilet paper so I had to use my hand, tractor driving, catfish selling, cat piss smelling, dog food chompin', yee haw yelling, cigarette smoking bullshit was that?"

"It's great, right?!"

"No."

"Ugh," Kenny sat up. "Did you guys hear something? What the hell is that smell? Did someone shit themselves?"

"No," Darren said. "But now we can save the Minister! Let's go!"

Brooke watched him run off then got up and dusted herself off and sighed. "I wish I didn't know you."

.

They stood at the mouth of the dark cave, staring quietly at it. "The Catacombs are a cave?" Darren asked. "That's…spooky."

"Yeah," Brooke said. "Well, you're on your own again."

"What?!"

"This all you, man. If you needed that disgusting…ability to do something in there, then I'm NOT going. At least out here there was enough space to escape the smell." Kenny suddenly threw up again. "Aw! You got some on my boot!" She wiped her boot on the grass.

"Huh," he said. "I feel better."

"That's good," she said. "Let's get you cleaned up in that stream right there. You smell like puke."

"Okay," Darren whispered to himself as he carefully moved through the dark cave. "It's okay. I have a great power. Nothing is going to murder, eat, or rape me here. Nope, nothing. Oh god!" He stopped upon encountering a mass of Dire animals, wolves, bears, and snakes all standing in a cluster blocking his way and baring their teeth at him.

.

Brooke had just finished helping Kenny clean his face in the water when the ground began to shake ever so slightly. They stopped and looked around a moment before hearing a loud sound come from deep within the cave. A few moments passed and a horde of terrified animals came running out from the cave in a panic.

.

"Hi!" Darren smiled at the man he found deeper in the cave.

"JE SUIS LIBRE! JE SUIS LIBRE!"

"Yay!" Darren said then handed him the documents. "Can you please translate this?"

"Oh, ne vous besoin de quelque chose traduit?"

"Yes."

"Okaaay!" he took the papers and pulled out a pen. "Cela se traduit par cela… cela se traduit par cela… Voila!" He handed Darren back the papers. "Bon Jour! Merci beaucoup!"

"Thanks!"

**To be continued…**


	10. Chapter 10: The Stick of Truth

**Ah, we're almost caught up. What I mean is, I already have up to chapter eleven done. I get on these "kicks." Unfortunately, I now have a tad bit of writer's block. I have to come up with fillers or something between chapter eleven and something important that happens, then more fillers until the Fractured but Whole plot because a LOT of the stuff I have planned happens after that one. I mean...I COULD just jump right to it? Anyways, this one is the last chapter for The Stick of Truth plot.**

* * *

"Alright everyone, listen up!" Brooke Spartan kicked the backyard gate open, startling a few of the boys. "The girls are ready to fight! Oh, and Kenny's not drunk-ass trippin' balls anymore."

"I what?" he was confused.

"The Pirates and the Federation are standing by to fight as well, my Lord!" Stan announced.

"Then the time for talk is over," Cartman said. "Let us all make haste to CLYDE'S HOUSE!"

.

The large group of children had all gathered by sunset in the front of Clyde's house. They could easily see his Fortress of Darkness towering over the house in the backyard, from where Clyde watched them in the upper room.

Kyle turned to address the crowd. "Today, we are not elves or humans! Today… WE FIGHT AS ONE!"

"What we do here now," Cartman told them. "Will be written and sung about on Youtube for days to come!" The crowd cheered. "Let us besiege the army of darkness with the courage of dragons! Let us delve their dungeon with swords and sorcery! ARMIES OF JUSTICE! PREPARE! Ready?! AND… LET'S BEAT UP CLYDE!"

Clyde's father stood, stunned, as he opened the front door and a horde of screaming children came rushing past him through his house.

The backyard was chaos; filled with fighting children and loud shouting. "You take the tower from the inside," Stan shouted over the frenzy. "Me and the pirates are gonna scale it from the outside!"

Brooke paused for a brief moment, taking a slow deep breath then focusing her attention on the front gate of the tower. Wendy and another girl had taken care of the two guards there. Brooke tried to block out the sounds.

"Are you okay?" Darren came up beside her.

She seemed surprised. "I – I'm fine."

"Are you nervous?" he looked amazed.

"No," she told him. "Get that gate open!" She waited, a mildly annoyed look on her face, as he used Nagasaki to break the gate apart.

Inside, two older boys were positioned on a level higher up and lighting the fuses to large firework rockets. On the lower level three kids blocked their way to the ladder. Brooke and Darren hurried under cover as the rockets launched at them. "We are the Dark Lord's mighty cyclops!"

"I don't care WHO you are!" Brooke shouted at them.

Sniper came bolting into the room, dodging rockets and explosions, and barreled into the trio of kids blocking the way. Snatch jumped up from his back and scrambled up to gnaw at the cord holding the ladder up.

The two kids hurried past as the cyclops kids were reloading and climbed up the ladder to face them. "Nice job you guys!" Stan called as he climbed up a rope outside of the window. "See you at the top!"

"Sniper," Brooke called as she hefted her Claw. "Up!" She charged at the two older kids with her weapon as Sniper leapt and climbed up the ladder to join them.

"Your dog can climb ladders?!" Darren was amazed.

"Of course he can!" she grunted as she swung the Claw and knocked the two kids from the upper level. "Come on!" They climbed up another ladder to the next floor, pushing open a trap door to get through.

Another level up, they had climbed up to an outside floor with towers on either side and a heavy gate blocking the way to the next room. Stan had climbed up to meet them. "Alright, here's the plan! Attack each tower and raise the gate so we can get into Clyde's lair! Maplebeard! Clear the path!"

A little toddler boy dressed as a pirate cheered excitedly and went to light a rocket, but an older kid came and kicked him and the little pirate kid started crying. "Sniper!" Brooke pointed at the older kid. Without her needing to finish the command, the dog snarled and jumped at the older kid, pushing him with his front paws off of the edge to the level below. "Good boy!" She picked up the lighter and handed it back to the pirate.

He babbled excitedly as he lit the fuse and the rocket jetted off to crash into the roof of one of the towers. The roof collapsed onto the other enemy kid inside.

Darren ran over to the opposite tower to use Nagasaki. The two kids inside looked up nervously as the tower began to rumble violently until it collapsed on them as well.

Two of the little pirate kids ran over to pull the chains on either side and lift the gate.

"Ah-ha!" Craig was standing on a platform above them as they entered the room. On Brooke and Darren's level there were two zombie cows snorting angrily at them from the other side of a gate. "You're trapped!" Craig said. "I am now a level fourteen thief AND the Dark Lord's chief assassin, and you will all perish here and now!"

"Douchebag, I'm stuck!" Stan called from behind a barred window at the top. "Can you get me in?"

"My three Nazi cow zombies will take care of you!" Craig said and went to turn a large wheel with a chain attached. "Soon as I get the third one up here…"

Stan managed to chuck a lit lantern through the bars that Darren cupped-a-spell at and blew up the window. "This should even things up," Stan said as he cut the rope holding one of the cages.

"Hey, no fair," Craig said as the cow and its cage fell to the levels below. "I can't let this thing go. Should've started this sooner…"

Maplebeard climbed up through the other window and dropped the second cow.

Craig had almost gotten the third cow's cage up when a brown rat jumped up onto his pants leg and bit him. "AGH! Hey!" he accidentally let go and the cow dropped. He stumbled a bit trying to shake the rat off until Snatch let go and darted away somewhere. "Ah whatever," he said, regaining his composure. "Let's see how you fair against the Dark Lord's chief assassin!" He jumped down to face Darren and Brooke.

"I'm going to fucking destroy you," the girl said, clenching her fists around the handle of her weapon.

"We'll see about that," he said and threw down a smoke bomb. "Why fight one Craig when you can fight five?" As the smoke cleared, they were confronted by five children all wearing the same outfit and brandishing the same wooden daggers.

"Hey," Darren yelled. "That's not fair! Who's the real Craig?"

"Pfft," Brooke rolled her eyes. She had a pretty good idea of who it was, but… "Hey, Craig," she asked nonchalantly. "Why'd you join Clyde anyway?"

"I really found myself relating to his views about darkness and enslaving the world," he answered without thinking.

She grinned. "Hello~"

"Oh shit…"

Darren jabbed his dagger at the kid in front to help clear the way while Sniper bolted in from outside and grabbed hold of another kid's shirt and started dragging the screaming kid away. Little Snatch hopped down from the upper platform onto the last kid's head, who screamed as the rat started scrambling around in his clothes.

Only Craig himself was left to face Brooke. He looked a little concerned as she threw her Claw down and clenched her fists, but he tossed his own weapon aside and readied his fists as well.

"Oh man," Darren said. "Is he actually gonna exchange punches with her?"

"Dude," Stan said as he and some of the pirates leaned over the platform to watch.

Craig hesitated a moment but threw the first punch, managing to hit her in the mouth. The onlookers gasped. Brooke gritted her teeth from both pain and fury then swung back at him, harder, and decked him in the eye. "Jerk!" Craig jumped back.

"Fuck you!" She hit him again.

The onlookers stared open-mouthed with astonishment as the two exchanged blows, Sniper barking excitedly from the sidelines as if cheering. After a moment, Darren and Stan joined the dog in shouting and cheering.

"Ahagh! Stop!" Craig held his hands up to protect his face as Brooke knocked him down to the floor. "I give! You win, just stop!"

"Are you…okay?" Darren asked Brooke.

She was breathing heavily, but aside from a slightly busted lip and a bruise on her cheek, she didn't appear injured much. She used the back of her hand to wipe the blood from her mouth. "Uh-huh," she breathed.

"Dude, that was sweet," Stan said and pushed the ladder down for them. Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Butters, and Jimmy all met up with them now.

"Dad?" Stan pushed ahead of the group as they entered the next room. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Ah! It's my favorite kid!" Randy was wearing a blanket as a cape, no shirt, and shorts with cowboy boots and carrying a sword and shield. He ran past Stan to talk to Darren. "Listen! I found out what they were doing in the women's clinic! They were looking for a candidate to put a snuke into! They're going to nuke all of South Park!"

"A snuke?" Kyle asked.

"You don't understand," Randy told them. "They put the snuke HERE. We should have known. We should have known Taco Bell is far too compassionate and caring to be so secretive."

"Dad, where is the woman with the snuke?!"

"They didn't put it in a woman…"

.

Randy had led them up to another level where a muscular man wearing a police stripper outfit and no pants was tied up to a beam. "Well," the man said in a feminine voice. "All I remember was that there were these big government guys, and they wrestled me to the floor at my house. And then I remember thinking, well this is fun, but wait – Is that a thermonuclear device? I had some drinks, so putting a thermonuclear device up my ass wasn't _completely _out of the question… Oh Jesus Christ, how long do I have?"

"We don't know, Mr. Slave," Randy said. "But it could be a matter of MINUTES."

"Well, what are you waiting for, pull it out!" He turned himself so that his butt was facing them.

After a moment of awkward silence, Cartman moved his hand towards Mr. Slave's butt, but Kyle slapped him across the face. "No! We can't just pull it out! Snukes have triggers on them! We have to abort it – from the inside!"

"Oh, come on!" Cartman said. "Who here knows how to do abortions AND can get really really small?!"

"Well," Darren said. "I know how to do abortions… Oh! Brooke has something that makes people really small!"

Brooke gave him an absolutely perturbed look. "How the hell do you know how to perform an abortion?!"

"Great!" Randy said. "You guys can go in and abort the snuke!"

"HA!" Brooke let out a loud, fake laugh. "I'M not going up some man's asshole! Here, Darren!" she took the little bag out of her dress and gave it to him. "YOU'RE on your own!"

"Why?!"

"Because I don't like you enough to die for you, or to climb up a man's asshole for you. Actually, I kinda hate you sometimes."

"Well, fuck you, too!" he snatched the bag from her and snorted the contents.

"Oh, look," Mr. Slave said. "He's all small! Oh, be careful," he warned as Darren climbed up his hairy leg. "I might have also put some bats up there the other night…"

"I hate this fucking town so much…" Darren muttered as he pushed himself through the butthole. "Aw, sick! Whoa – am I high?"

There was a ghostly frog floating before him, dressed like a king and holding a golden staff. "Child," the frog said in a squeaky voice. "You must find a way out of here, or you will surely die! The way behind you is blocked by the large sphincter. Make haste to the large intestine! All will be made clear to you then!" The frog vanished.

"Yup," Darren said. "I must be high. Ew, what's all this white sticky stuff?!" Regretfully, he moved forward, encountering a number of bizarre things like whole corn cobs, billiard balls, and even small rodent skeletons. At some point he found an entire flashlight and flicked the light on. The light startled a sleeping bat that screeched and fluttered around frantically before flying back the way Darren had entered.

.

The other kids and Randy jumped back as a little bat suddenly shot out from Mr. Slave's butt and started flying around the room.

.

"Ah, finally," Darren found a strange purple object. "Now I –"

"New kid came to the stomach dark…"

"The fuck? Who's singing?"

"'Neath the cold depths of the lungs and heart…"

"Hello, New Kid."

Darren jumped back as a spectral fish wearing armor appeared.

"I… am Catatafish."

"Catatafish?"

"Catatafish of the stomach's cove…" the random voice sang again.

"Just ignore that," the fish told him. "The trigger of the thermonuclear device lies before you. I have tried to solve its riddle, but I have been unable to disarm it."

"Catatafish riddle will soon be told…"

"There are only moments to spare. Find a way to disengage the trigger, or all will be lost!"

"Oookay…" Darren went over to the snuke and touched a panel. It opened and two tubes dropped out.

"Snuke abortion sequence initiated," a robotic voice said. "Begin electrolytic infusion."

Darren took a nearby syringe and injected it into the space between the tubes. "Alright, let's get this shit over with."

.

"How long has he been in there?" Kyle asked and Stan shrugged.

"You guys think he died?" Cartman asked, unconcerned.

Suddenly, Mr. Slave began coughing. "What is it, Mr. Slave?" Randy asked. "What are you feeling?" He kept coughing until he hacked up the tiny Darren.

"Great job!" Randy praised as Darren returned to normal size. "You did it! South Park is saved!"

"Yes," Cartman said. "Now, let's finish this, Douchebag. Let's beat Clyde and take back the Stick of Truth!"

"We totally understand if you want to take a shower first, though," Kyle told him.

.

"Fools!" Clyde said as the kids entered his chamber. "You thought you could conquer the Fortress of Darkness!"

"Stop," Kyle said. "Clyde, you have no idea what that stuff is!"

"Yeah-huh, it's green sauce from Taco Bell. I took it from their construction site."

"Dude," Stan said. "That's not Taco Bell sauce."

"Then why'd I find it at the Taco Bell?"

"It leaked out of a UFO, Clyde!" Cartman snapped. "It's toxic goo from another galaxy! Think about it! Since when does Taco Bell have a green sauce, dude?!"

"Actually," Kyle told him. "Since about a year ago."

"What?"

"Taco Bell has green sauce now."

"The fuck? How the fuck did I miss this?!"

Clyde laughed. "I don't seem so foolish NOW, do I?!"

"That doesn't mean YOU have Taco Bell green sauce, dipfuck!" Kyle yelled.

"Just give us the Stick, asshole," Cartman said.

"Or what? You'll beat me up? Ha-ha! I've got another surprise for you." He turned the spigot on a barrel of the green goo.

Attached to the other end of the pipe was a dirty casket that looked as though it had been dug up. A green fist punched through the lid and a large zombie man wearing a chef's hat burst from the casket. "Hello children!" He said then growled and shouted something in German.

"KILL!" Clyde demanded from his throne.

The other kids screamed. "Get him, Brooke!" Cartman shouted, hiding behind her.

"Fucking ZOMBIE!" she whipped out her Claw of Justice.

"AHHGHH! IT'S GOT ME!" Darren screamed as the zombie man picked him up. He was resisting as best he could as the zombie tried to bite his neck. "AHHHGH!"

"FUCK – YOU!" Brooke swung the Claw hard, its sharp claws snagging and ripping the zombie's belly. He dropped the boy and reached out to grab her instead. "Don't touch me!" she smacked him several times in the head with the Claw.

"Enough of this!" Clyde lit something and chucked it at the zombie, lighting it on fire. "Burn them! Burn them all!"

As the zombie ran up to them, Darren released a Dragonshout that caused the fire to explode and blow the zombie apart.

"Your eons of torment are at an end, ruler of darkness!" Cartman approached Clyde.

"Um…" Clyde couldn't find an escape. "Okay, um, you know what, I'm not playing anymore."

"You have broken the rules of the Stick, and for that I banish thee. I banish thee… from SPACE AND TIME!" He kicked Clyde out of the window.

"OH MY GOD!" Brooke was stunned. "You just fucking SPARTAN KICKED him off of this tall tower!"

"It had to be done," Cartman dusted himself off.

"HE COULD BE DEAD!"

"Fuck that guy!" Darren said. "He just fucking tried to get a big zombie man to EAT US!"

"Your noble quest is at an end," Cartman said. "For all your heroic deeds and time, I hereby promote thee to – KINGS! Or, uh, King and QUEEN! King Douchebag, and the Queen of Beasts!"

"Aw sweet!" Darren smiled. Brooke was too busy peering out the window to see if Clyde had survived the fall.

"Quickly," Kyle said. "Let's get the Stick back to safety before anyone can –"

They were interrupted by the loud sound of a helicopter and a bunch of armed men jumping down to surround them. "We've got the Dragonborn!"

"Th- Dragonborn?" Cartman said. "What the – who what?"

"So, it really IS the Dragonborn," the government man with the eyepatch that Brooke and Darren had seen before walked over and picked up the Stick. "You just can't stop being a thorn in our side, huh?"

"He has the Stick of Truth," Cartman backed away slightly.

"How does this guy know you, King Douchebag?" Kyle asked.

"King Douchebag? Is THAT what you told them your name was? Why didn't you tell them your REAL name – DOVAHKIIN! You can't tell me you don't remember?"

"Look," Stan said. "That Stick belongs with the fighters of Zaron! Give it back!"

"Fighters of Zaron?" He chuckled a little. "Boys, what's going on here is much more complex than that. This isn't the first time a UFO has crashed to Earth. You see, in 1947 a UFO crashed in Roswell, New Mexico…"

"Oh god," Cartman rolled his eyes.

"A UFO crashed in Roswell and a new government agency was created to investigate the paranormal. Our Agency. Whenever aliens are spotted, vampires run amok, our agency is there and we have never lost a fight. That is… until four years ago when we investigated a child… A child who had an unnatural power inside of them. I had orders from the President to secure the child, so that we could harness those powers before our enemies could. But the child slipped through our hands."

"The government wants Darren for his farts?" Kyle asked.

"What? No! Not him! The GIRL!"

Brooke winced. "Huh?!"

"We want HER for her amazing ability to make friends so quickly on any social network."

"Oh," she sighed, relieved. "Oh, never mind…"

"Before she was five years old she had 3.2 billion friends on Facebook alone. Do you have any idea the power that kind of gift yields in today's world? It's time to come with us, Dovahkiin. Time to stop resisting and use your gift for your country."

"Uh," Brooke blinked. "I have NO idea what you're talking about."

"Come now, are we really so different, Dovahkiin?"

"Ugh," Cartman sighed. "Is he really still talking?"

"You have to do what the government tells you, just like me. I'll admit, you are fascinating. You have more power than any child I've ever come across."

"Oh, you don't even know," she said.

"Yet, all you seem to care about… is this." He looked at the Stick. "It must be very important. What does it do?"

Cartman rolled his eyes again. "Whoever controls the Stick controls the universe, dumbass."

"Controls the… But then… I wouldn't have to do what I was told anymore… I could…" he started laughing manically. "Get back! Back, all of you! I CONTROL THE UNIVERSE!" he suddenly striped down naked and ran out onto the observation deck. He was thrusting the Stick around like a wand. "Damn thing! How does it work? Show me how it works!"

"Yeah, right!" Stan huffed.

"Dovahkiin," the man looked to Brooke. "Why should we be on opposite sides? Join me, and rule by my side. I can offer you ALL! Just get me safely out of here, and you can rule with this once again!"

"Ehhh…" she leaned away from him. "N-no thanks… That's weird."

Stan smiled. "You underestimated the character of the fighters of Zaron! What binds us is more than that relic."

"AND you failed to understand the character of our alliance," Kyle added.

"Yes," Cartman chimed in. "And that friendship is more important to any of us – than even the Stick of Truth."

Kenny walked over and took the Stick from the man, then turned to face the others and laughed.

Cartman gasped. "Princess Kenny!"

"At least one of you has some sense," the man said.

"Why Princess Kenny?!" Stan asked.

"Because Princess Kenny was born a half-orc," Morgan Freeman stepped out from behind a stack of boxes. "And her entire village was wiped out by humans AND elves."

"Dude, is that Morgan Freeman?" Darren asked.

"My god," Brooke said. "I just want to go home…"

"You see," Morgan Freeman continued. "When humans and elves lived together in the forests of Hollow Falls, an elven queen fell in love with the orc known as Dandar – the first one to possess the Stick of Truth. They loved in secret and had a child, a beautiful little girl, a girl who watched as everyone she loved was killed in cold blood. And that is why she waited… and plotted… all this time. To take the Stick from you. For Princess Kenny is true heir to the Stick of Truth."

"Wow," Cartman said. "That's pretty cool."

"Just one thing, Morgan Freeman," Kyle said. "How come every time something convoluted needs explaining, you show up?"

"Because every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle." A freckle twinkled into place on his face.

"The Stick is mine!" Kenny ran off.

"Princess Kenny," Cartman chased him. "COME BACK HERE!" They chased him to the other end of the deck. "Give us the Stick, Princess Kenny. You don't want to go down like this, brah."

"No, fuck you!"

"Just give up! Queen Brooke is too powerful for you!"

Brooke flinched a little and shot Cartman a look.

Kenny opened a vial of green liquid and drank it. He dropped the now empty vial as his body started convulsing and changing color.

"AHHGHH! NAZI ZOMBIE PRINCESS KENNY!" They dodged out of the way as Kenny charged at them.

"Are you freaking serious right now?!" Brooke pushed Darren out of the way as zombie Kenny vomited blood at them.

"Aw GROSS!" Darren said. "Are those BONES?!"

She swung the Claw at Kenny and it tore gashes in the side of his head.

"Oh my god!" Stan said. "You killed Kenny!"

"You ba-" Kyle stopped. "Oh, wait he's back."

Kenny stood up and grabbed the Claw's handle. "Hey!" Brooke said. "Let go!" The weapon slipped out of her hand and flew over the edge of the deck all the way to the ground below. Brooke peered over the edge to watch for a moment then turned back to him. "Oh, you little prick!"

"She looks more dead than she was before," Cartman said. "Kill her again!"

"She doesn't stay dead," Stan shouted. "We can't beat her!"

"Dude, we're fucked!" Kyle said. "There's no way!"

"God, even as a zombie you're clingy!" Brooke was pushing Kenny away, trying to keep him from biting her. "One of you assholes do something already!"

"There is one way," Cartman said. "We're going to have to break the Gentlemen's Code. King Douchebag! You remember long ago, I made you swear an oath to never fart on anyone's balls? I am now asking you – to break that oath."

"What?" Darren jumped.

"Fart on Princess Kenny's balls, King Douchebag! DO IT!" Cartman ran up behind Kenny while he was distracted trying to attack Brooke and grabbed him from behind. "Hurry!"

Darren ran over and Dragonshouted on him.

"This doesn't make any sense," Brooke said as a bright white light spread across the town. "This is so STUPID!"

.

As the morning sun steadily rose to light the town, construction vehicles set about to clear the debris and rebuild the mall and other damaged buildings. Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Darren, and Brooke stood at the edge of a large pond.

"You guys sure about this?" Kyle asked.

"There's no other way," Cartman told him.

Stan agreed. "It drove our friend to madness and nearly killed us all."

Cartman took a deep breath then threw the Stick as far as he could into the pond. The kids watched as it splashed into the water and slowly sunk down into the depths. After a long moment of silence, Cartman spoke first. "So, what to you guys wanna play now?!"

"How about Dinosaur Hunters?" Stan suggested.

"Or Pharaohs and Mummies!" Kyle added.

"Let's ask Douchebag," Cartman said. "What do you want to play?"

"Man," Darren said, finally fed up with the nickname. "Screw you guys, I'm going home." He walked off.

"Wow, what a dick," Cartman said. "What about you, Brooke? What do you want to do?"

"…I want to sleep."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Aaaaaand... cue the credits! Haha. Brooke's actually so much nicer than she seems sometimes. She's just VERY tired. And also stubborn. But mostly tired. She hasn't had a proper night's rest since they got to South Park.**


	11. Chapter 11: Brooke

**This is the longest chapter so far! 6,078 words and I think it was a 15 or 16 page document. There's lots of spacing though due to dialogue. Well, now we'll have a bit more descriptive paragraphs as well as dialogue. This chapter is ALL original! It was fun to write, too.**

* * *

"Wake up, you have school today."

Brooke turned away from her mother and groaned. She hated being woken up, especially so early. She laid there for a minute longer before regretfully climbing out of bed and stretching her arms up.

It had been four days since the zombie fiasco, and five days since they destroyed the interior of the school. Today was finally her first official day of school in this new town. The past four days she had spent in her new home unpacking and setting things up, ignoring the outside world.

"There's a bus stop down the street," her mother said as Brooke sat down to eat breakfast. "You can catch the bus there."

"Mm," Brooke hummed absently. She was staring at the back of the cereal box.

She was mildly annoyed when she left her house at the same time as Darren and he decided to walk with her. "Hey," he said. She merely grunted in response. "Ohhh, you're all morning grumpy," he smirked. "It's been a while since we had to wake up early. It sucks." She hummed agreement.

They walked further down the street until they reached the bus stop where they found four familiar kids standing and waiting for the bus. "Oh, look, it's Brooke and Douchebag," Cartman announced.

"Quit calling me that!" Darren snapped.

Brooke didn't say anything to Cartman, but eyed Kenny for a moment. "Oh, so the dress was just for the game, then?"

"She spoke!" Darren mocked surprise and she shot him a glare. "She's not a morning person," he explained to the other boys.

"Hey, Brooke," Kyle said. "Why haven't you come out to play the past few days?"

"Eh," Darren responded for her. "She just got fed up with all the bullshit that happened. Sometimes girls just need time alone. I should know… I have three sisters."

"Hm, sucks for you," Cartman told him.

Brooke had hung back as the bus arrived and the others piled into it. She purposefully got on after everyone else so that she could find an empty seat to sit alone and stare out the window. The noisy ride was relatively short. Upon arriving at school, she left the group to locate her new locker and place some things inside of it. She closed the locker and found Clyde opening the locker next to her.

"Oh," he flinched a little. Apparently neither of them had realized that they were beside each other. "Um, hi…"

She blinked at him and looked down at the cast on his left arm. "Hm, I'm glad that all you got out of that fall was a broken arm."

"You are?"

"It could've been a lot worse," she told him.

"Oh, um, yeah."

.

"Alright class," Mr. Garrison burst into the room. "Sit down and shut the FUCK up!" All of the students quickly took their seats. "We have TWO new students in my already full classroom. Wanna introduce yourselves?"

"No," Brooke said. Darren was too stunned to speak.

"Good!" he said angrily and began writing on the chalkboard. "Now class, today we're going to continue our lesson on evolution…"

.

"Hey, Darren," Kyle said as Darren sat down at the lunch table. "You sure Brooke's okay?"

"I dunno… Why?"

"None of us have seen her in FOUR days," he said. "And today she won't talk to any of us. She won't even come near us."

"Yeah, dude," Stan said. "She's totally avoiding us."

"She talked to me," Clyde said.

The others all turned to look at him. "What?" Kyle said. "When?"

"This morning. At our lockers."

Cartman scoffed. "Yeah right, Clyde! Why would she talk to you and not us? We're awesome."

They glanced over to the table where Brooke had gone to sit by herself. She was looking down at her phone and didn't notice them looking at her. Darren thought about it for a moment, swallowing a bite of his food then shrugged. "I don't know, man. Sometimes she just gets like that."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, like, _broody_. Maybe she just doesn't like you guys."

"But she likes you, right?"

He paused a moment to think again. "Eh, most of the time."

"So," Kyle said. "Take us over there to talk to her."

"What? Why? Why can't you just go yourselves?"

"Because what if she gets mad at us?"

"Yeah," Stan said. "If you bring us, then she'll just get mad at you."

"Wha- Screw you guys!"

"Come on, man!"

"Why?!"

"Because Brooke's cool," Stan told him.

"Yeah," Kyle agreed. "I mean, she's a little scary sometimes, but she's cool. None of the other girls would beat up our enemies with us."

"Yeah," Cartman dipped a fry into his ketchup. "She's pretty kick ass… oh, uh, for a girl I mean."

The other boys at the table all chattered their agreement. "Alright!" Darren sighed. "Fine!"

Brooke was texting a contact on her phone labeled as "Grim Dad." _"How is it there?" _the message read.

"_Stupid." _She replied.

"_Lol, yeah I know." _Another message appeared after this one. _"I have a 'present' that'll be heading your way soon."_

"_What do you mean 'present'?"_

"_You'll see. Don't worry, you'll love it. Gotta get back to work now."_

She furrowed her brow at the messages. Present? What kind of present was he sending…and for what purpose? She placed her phone down and grabbed her sandwich. As she was about to take a bite, she paused and stared at the group of boys that had just huddled around her table and were watching her. "…The fuck do you guys want?"

"Your phone number," Clyde replied.

"The fuck?" Darren shot him a confused looked.

She blinked. "Um, okay?" She took his phone to plug in her number.

"Sweet."

"Brooke!" Darren fussed. "Don't humor him!"

"What?" she shrugged.

"Ooh," Butters smiled. "Can I have your number, too?"

"Sure."

"What the –" Darren threw his arms up as the other boys asked for her number. "This was NOT why I brought you guys over here!"

"Hey," Cartman said. He and Kenny were the last ones left. "What about us?"

"I don't like you," she told him then looked at Kenny. "And I don't trust YOU."

"What?" Kenny said. "What'd I do?"

"You turned yourself into a zombie and tried to bite my neck!"

"…Oh. Sorry?"

Darren was beside himself. "You don't trust HIM but you trust CLYDE?! Clyde tried to take over the town, no, the WORLD with an undead army of darkness!"

"That was different."

"HOW?!"

"Because," she said. "Clyde and I weren't close or anything. He left angry at the beginning. THIS ASSHOLE on the other hand!"

"It was just part of the game, I swear!" Kenny told her.

"You LITERALLY tried to EAT ME!"

"O-okay yeah, but…"

She rolled her eyes and went back to her sandwich.

.

"_She does not appear to like any of them…" _A strange little winged reptilian creature covered in green and red feathers with a row of spikes down his spine was sitting on a hilltop across from the school building and scribbling in a leather-bound book with a quill. He had no ink, but the quill wrote sparkling golden words that vanished as he wrote them.

"_What is she doing?"_ Black, script words appeared in response.

"_She is in school… Oh! Never mind, Sir. The final bell just rang… One of the boys is talking to her now."_

.

"Uh, hey, Brooke," Kenny caught up with her.

"What?" she sounded annoyed.

"Uh, my little sister wanted me to ask you to come to our house because she wants to have another tea party with you."

She stared at him for a long moment, her expression not changing. "Yes," she said after a moment. "I will be there at four."

"O-Oh! Okay." He had expected her to say no.

.

"_Where is she now?"_

"_She is now inside of a dilapidated house surrounded by garbage and rats…" _The creature wrote.

"_What? Why?! Where the heck is she? What is she doing there?"_

"Hrmm…" the creature brought a pair of binoculars up to his eyes to peer through the window from a distance. _"Hmm, she appears to be… Having a tea party."_

"…_Tea party?"_

.

"You really came!" Karen ran over and grabbed Brooke's wrist as she walked into the room.

"Of course I did," she said. "I said I'd be here at four. It's four now, and I'm here."

"Now we can play!" Karen tugged lightly on her arm and led the older girl over to a tiny pink table. "You sit here and – Oh! Kenny, can you play, too?"

"Uhh…" he stiffened and glanced over at Brooke. She clearly did not look like she wanted anything to do with him. "I…I have to go to the bathroom!" He bolted out of the room suddenly.

"O-Oh. Okay?" Karen tilted her head.

Darren was slouching in a beanbag chair and playing a video game when his phone started going off. He raised an eyebrow at it. "Who the fuck is calling me?" He answered it. "Hello?"

"Dude, I need help," Kenny's muffled voice said from the other end.

"Huh? Kenny? How did you get my phone number?"

"Never mind that! Brooke's at my house having a tea party with my little sister, but now Karen wants me to play, too, but Brooke hates me and I don't know what to do!"

Darren took a moment to process. He had said it all so fast. "Whoa, dude, you need to chill. I can't understand you when you talk fast like that. Kenny repeated himself, a little slower this time. "I don't think she _hates _you," Darren said after. "But yeah, she definitely doesn't want to play with you."

"Well, what am I supposed to do?"

"Okay look, Brooke LOVES food. Especially mac and cheese. Just give her some mac and cheese."

"Wha- I don't have mac and cheese."

"You don't?"

"I'm poor!"

"…Okay look, I'm going to come bring you some mac and cheese. Where are you right now?"

"I'm…in the bathroom."

"Is there a window in your bathroom?"

"A small one at the top, yeah."

"Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes."

.

"_Oh! Another child has arrived. It is her friend from Louisiana… He is sneaking around the exterior of the house… He has a box of Kraft mac and cheese… Oh! He has just thrown the box into a small window… it sounds like it hit someone in the face."_

"_What? I don't care what THEY'RE doing!"_

"_Her friend is now hiding behind a pile of trash…" _he continued to write.

.

"Should we check on him?" Karen asked as they walked over to the bathroom door. "He's been in there a long time."

Brooke shrugged and was about to knock on the door when Kenny made a pain-stricken sound from the other side. "Uhh…maybe he'll be a while. Let's just go back and wait." She ushered her back to the other room.

"Asshole!" Kenny shouted at Darren through the window. "You hit me in the face!"

"Sorry!" Darren said. "I didn't know where you were standing! I can't see through your prison-style window!"

.

"I hope my brother's okay," Karen was telling Brooke. "He's my best friend! I don't really have any other friends…"

Brooke took in a deep, slow breath. "That…is so cute…and also sad." She sniffed.

"Are you crying?"

"No!" she rubbed her eyes. "I got dust in my eyes!"

"No one's ever cried for me before. Hey, are we friends?"

"Oh my god, yes, whatever you want you can have!"

"Yay!"

"You're so freaking cute and innocent. Huh?" Brooke looked out of the window at something. "Darren?"

.

"_Her friend appears to be spying on them… Oh, he is now panicking… he must have been spotted. He is now running away, oh, he tripped… He has gotten up and is now running away again… He does not appear to notice the large rat attached to his pants leg…"_

"_I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIM!"_

"_Sorry, Sir…"_

.

"Okay, I'm back!" Kenny threw the door open. "Here!" He thrust a bowl of mac and cheese towards Brooke.

She flinched away a little and stared at it, confused, then slowly took the bowl. "Uhm…thanks?"

"Can we play now?" Karen asked excitedly.

Kenny watched Brooke sit down and take a bite of the food. "Yes," he said. "Let's play."

"Hooray!"

...

After school the next day, Sniper was waiting outside by the flagpole and ran over to Brooke excitedly as they exited the building. "Hey boy," she grabbed his head and playfully shook him from side-to-side. "Good dog." Darren and Stan had gone over to pet the dog, too.

"Dude, quit being an asshole," Kyle was saying to Cartman further away.

"Yeah, give it back, jerk!" Kenny was trying to take something from him.

Cartman was holding the object away from Kenny and trying to push him away with his other arm. "I just wanna look at it," he complained. "Noooo Kenny! Let me see it!"

"Fuck you, that's mine!"

Cartman took a few steps away from him and fiddled with the object in his hands. He clicked his tongue in annoyance then tossed the thing into the road. "You call that a toy? Stupid thing doesn't even move…"

"Dick!" Kenny snapped at him then walked into the street to retrieve the toy.

"Shit, look out!" Kyle yelled.

A speeding car zoomed by and ran right over the kid with a sickening crunch. "Oh my god!" Stan gasped. "They killed Kenny!"

"You bastards!" Kyle yelled.

"Holy fuck!" Brooke had grabbed hold of Sniper's collar to support herself. "Did you fucking SEE that!?"

"Man," Darren said. "That sucked… So, you guys wanna come play video games at my house?"

"Yeah, okay," the other boys agreed.

"WHAT!?" Brooke was absolutely stunned. "You guys are just going to go PLAY?!"

"Dude, calm down," Darren told her. "People die all the time."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU!?" Even Sniper was looking at the others in bewilderment. "Darren! YOU of all people! You cried when your mom ran over a squirrel! How are you guys not freaking out right now!? ARE YOU ALL IDIOTS!?"

"Whoa, Brooke," he put his hand behind her back and started to lead her away. "I think you need to lay down. I'll walk you home."

"WHAT?!"

.

The next morning, Darren had walked next door to Brooke's house. "Oh, hey, Brooke!" he said as she walked outside. "How are you today?"

She gave him a very strange look but said nothing, mostly because she was confused.

"Um…okay?" he said and led the way to the bus stop.

"Hey guys," Stan greeted them as they approached.

Brooke watched them all for a long moment, bewildered, but saying nothing as they chatted on about a TV show from last night. What in the world was going on? How were they so stupid?

"Oh," Stan stopped in the middle of his sentence. "Hey, Kenny."

She tensed then suddenly whipped her head around to look at Kenny beside her.

"What?" he asked.

"Wow, Brooke," Darren commented. "What's wrong with you today? You look like you've seen a ghost."

She flinched. "WHAT?!" They all jumped from her outburst. "YOU!" she pointed at Kenny. "How are you here!?"

"I…I walked?"

"NO! You're DEAD!"

He tensed.

"Whoa, Brooke calm down," Kyle told her.

"Yeah," Darren said. "He's not dead, see?" He poked Kenny's arm. "You must've had a weird dream last night."

"Are you all INSANE?!"

"No," Cartman leered at her. "But you must be. Stop screaming."

"How the hell do you not remember!? You can't be SERIOUS! He got CRUSHED by a car yesterday after school and DIED! And you're all acting like it DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN!"

"Yeah," Stan said. "Because it didn't."

"Brooke," Darren said. "I know you have vivid dreams, but seriously? I mean, look, he's fine."

She was staring at them like she had just heard the most unbelievable thing ever. Before she could think of any responses, Kenny suddenly grabbed her arm and ran off with her behind a large snowy bush.

The other boys stared after them for a moment. "Sheesh," Stan said. "What's her problem?"

"Where do you think they're going?" Kyle asked.

Darren shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe they've got the hots for each other. Hey, did you guys see that reboot last night?"

"Oh, yeah," Cartman said. "It totally sucked balls."

Brooke stumbled forward a little as they rounded the bush and came to a halt. She caught herself and took a step or two back, looking at Kenny with an almost offended expression. "What the heck?!"

"Brooke!"

She jumped a little. "Y-Yes?!"

"You remember!"

"Wha- Of course I remember, are you crazy!?"

"No, no, no!" he waved his hands. "You don't get it. No one EVER remembers!"

She quickly looked him up and down. She was standing oddly, as if she was ready to take off at any sudden movements from him. "Excusemewhat?" She was a little taken aback when he pulled his hood down, revealing the whole of his face and messy blonde hair. Her face felt warm all of a sudden. "Your hair is a mess," she told him.

He ruffled his messy hair with both hands. "I didn't think I'd ever meet someone who'd remember. Everyone always forgets. So, you… you're a Netherborn, right?"

"What?!" she squeaked a little. "N-No! I don't – What are you talking about?!" She paused a moment. "This has happened before?"

"All the time!"

"But how?"

He was still running his fingers through his hair. "Erm, some stupid shit my drunk ass parents got into a long time ago. So, like, I was born with this curse from Cthulhu…"

She blinked, a little surprised. "My uncle?"

"Your – What?! Wait, so you ARE –"

"No I'm not!"

"Why are you lying NOW?"

Brooke bit the inside of her cheek and looked away from him. "Because… Uh… I'm not supposed to tell people that kind of stuff."

"Are you cursed?"

"No, not at all," she stood up straight and relaxed a little. "I was literally born there. Uh…I'm not exactly a…human."

"What? What are you?"

"Ehh… Well my real mom was a giant monster and my dad's the Grim Reaper, so… That's a thing."

"The Grim Reaper?" he stared blankly at her.

"Yyyyes?"

"And Cthulhu is your uncle?"

"On my mother's side…"

"Then you gotta help me!" he grabbed her arms.

"Huh?!"

"This curse! Can't you talk to them and get them to remove it?!"

"I-I don't know! Maybe?"

"Please! Seriously, at least ASK! You don't understand. It's like torture sometimes!"

"Eh, well that's kind of what a curse is…" She sighed. "Souls are a big deal in the Nether. That kind of curse sounds like an endless profit for Uncle… I don't know if he'd be willing to lift that. He's kind of greedy…" She caught a glimpse of his intent expression then quickly looked away again. "But I _guess _I can at least ask…"

"Really?! You're the best!" He hugged her tightly.

She tensed again, not used to letting people touch her. "Oh… O-Okay then… But I'm not making any promises!"

"That's fine," he let her go. "I just have to know."

"Hey!" Darren's voice called. "The bus is here!"

"Yeah," Cartman snickered as the two of them walked out from behind the bush. "Quit makin' out, we gotta go to school!"

"We were NOT making out!" Brooke snapped at him.

Darren grinned. "Heh, your face is getting red."

"No it isn't. Shut up!"

"Yeah-huh! Ha! It almost matches Kenny's!"

Kenny quickly pulled his hood back over his head and tightened it. "Fuck you!"

Brooke pushed past them and found an empty seat on the bus. As Darren went to sit with her, she threw her schoolbag down in his way and glared at him. "Seat's taken!"

"Aw, come on! The only other spot is with Dogpoo!"

"Too bad!" she snapped. "Besides, I need to call my dad and I don't want you listening." After he left her alone, she took out her phone and dialed the contact. She stared out the window as the phone rang a few times before it was answered.

"Hello, Daughter," the smooth voice on the other end said.

"Dad! Why didn't you guys tell me about the cursed kid in this town?"

"Oh, well we were kind of hoping that you wouldn't notice."

"How can I not notice when a kid dies and comes back the next day?!" she hissed through her teeth, trying not to attract anyone's attention.

"Oh, is that what the curse is?" He paused. "… Hold on…"

"That curse is actually why I called," Brooke told him as she ducked a paper plane. "I wanted to ask a…eh, a favor of sorts?"

"Wait, wait, wait," her father interrupted. "Is that that McCormick kid?"

"Uh…" She climbed up onto the seat to peer over at the seat behind her where Kenny and Butters were sitting. "Hey Kenny, what's your last name?"

He tilted his head at her. "McCormick?"

She sat back in her seat, slouching low to hold her knees up against the seat in front of her. "Yes," she said to the phone.

"Oh… Well then that's between you and your uncle."

"Ugh, really? How am I supposed to contact him? He got banished to a different dimension!"

"Hmm… I don't remember the finer details, but there is a spell you can do. I'll have to find a book and send it to you. Should be in the castle library…"

"Okay, please?" She sat up and grabbed her school bag. "We just got to school. Send it to me when you find it, please."

"Alright. I should find it before you leave school."

.

Before heading to the cafeteria for lunch Brooke stopped by her locker to place some things inside and found a large old book that took up the whole interior of the locker. "What?" She grabbed hold of the book's spine, which was made up of actual vertebrae, and pulled. It didn't budge. She repositioned herself, firmly planting her left foot up against the wall of lockers and pulled harder on the book.

"Uhh…" Clyde had closed his locker and was watching her with a concerned expression. "Do you need help?"

"No…" she grunted between tugs. "I – almost – have it! Ah!" She fell back as the book popped out and landed hard on her. "Ugh…"

"Whoa! Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah," she laid there a moment to catch her breath. "It's just…heavier than I thought."

"Didn't you put it in there?"

"Oh…yeah. I – I did do that."

"Man, what language is this?" The book had fallen open on top of her to reveal strange characters and runes.

Brooke sat up and closed the book. "Oh, uh… it's… Portuguese? I'm doing the extra credit work."

"Wow, I knew Mr. Garrison's extra credit work would be brutal, but I didn't think it'd be in another language." He pulled the book off of her so that she could get up. "Holy shit this is heavy!"

"Yeah," she dusted herself off then took the book from him. "Thanks."

While everyone else was eating, Brooke sat at the lunch table with the book open in her lap, its covers propped against the side of the table. She was staring hard at the contents of each page as she went through them. "Mm… I wish this thing had a table of contents," she muttered to herself. She was sitting between Kenny and Cartman who were both looking over curiously, though one was more interested in her untouched plate of food more than the book.

"Hey," Cartman said between mouthfuls of food. "You gonna eat that?"

"No." She didn't look up from the book.

"Sweeeeet." He slowly pulled her plate over and helped himself.

Kyle was examining the book from across the table. The book was very large and bound in worn black leather that was tattered around the corners. The spine was decorated to resemble an actual spinal column, and the front cover was emblazoned with a frightful-looking animal skull that had antlers and large fangs. "Brooke," he said. "What the heck are you reading?"

"Hm?" she glanced up at him. "Oh, uh…"

"She's doing extra credit," Clyde told him. "It's Portuguese."

"Portuguese?"

"Must be about the Black Plague," Darren said.

"Rrrriight," Brooke was thankful for their ignorance. She flipped through another couple of pages then sighed. "This is going to take forever…"

Later, back in class, she had opened the large book on her desk and was continuing to skim through its many pages. At some point in the middle of Mr. Garrison's lecture about…whatever he was talking about, she finally found what she was looking for. "Finally!" She said, slapping her finger down by the page number to remember it.

"And just what is so important that you needed to interrupt my class?" Mr. Garrison placed his hands on his hips.

"What?" She looked up at him. She had almost forgotten where she was. "Oh, nothing. Sorry."

"You damn better be sorry!" He marched over to her desk. "And what is THIS?" He went to pick up the book. "You think you can – Oh, holy shit! This thing is HEAVY! How the hell are you carrying this thing around?"

She stared up at him. "I work out."

"Well, I _was _going to confiscate it 'til the end of class, but shit on that idea. That's too damn heavy. Just close it and pay attention!"

"Okay."

After school had ended, Kenny caught up with her on the way home. "Do you need help?"

She was walking a little slowly while carrying the book and trying not to let it drag on the ground. It was almost as big as her. "I don't need any help!" she said defensively.

"Okay…?"

She could feel the heavy book slipping down from her arms. Tired, she stopped and placed it down for a moment. "Oh god…" she huffed. "Why couldn't he send it to my bedroom? Stupid book… Must've been Mom's…"

"Oh yeah," he said. "You mentioned your 'real mom' earlier or something. So, who the heck are those people you live with?"

"I dunno," she breathed. "It's… It's a long story. Anyways, I need to get this stupid book all the way to my house…and then up the stairs…into my room." She paused for a moment then turned to look at him. "I need help."

He rolled his eyes and moved to pick up the book. "Shit! What hell is this thing made of?!"

"Trees and animal hides of course," she hefted the other end of the book off the ground. "But it feels like a ton of bricks!"

.

"What the _hell _is that?" Brooke's stepdad asked. He was sitting in a chair on the front lawn, drinking a beer when the two kids came up to the house carrying a huge book.

"It's a book," she grunted.

He leaned over the side of his chair to watch, very confused, as she reached one hand out to open the door and they carried it inside. "Where the hell are you going to put that?!" He called after them but made no attempt to get up.

"You're back later than usual," her mother walked out from the kitchen. "I just assumed you went to a friend's house. Did you go to the library? How much did that thing cost?"

"Nothing. It's a rental." They placed the book down to take a quick break.

"And who's this?"

"Kenny," she replied.

"The princess boy?"

"Huh?"

"Yeah," Brooke said.

The two kids hefted the book up the stairs and into Brooke's room where they just placed it on the floor, up against the bed. "Oh, finally!" she sighed.

Kenny was looking around at her room. It wasn't a typical little girl's room. Really, the most girly thing there was a pile of cute plush animals stacked neatly in the corner by the bed. The rest of the room was decorated with pictures and figures of wolves, dinosaurs, deer, and many dragons. There were even two deer skulls hanging on the wall on either side of the door; a doe and a buck. And the large desk on one side of the room held a neatly assorted collection of raw gemstones and pieces of geodes on one end and a messy pile of drawings and art on the other.

"Wow," he said. "You have a lot of stuff." He went over to the open closet where the interior had been lined with shelves holding bottles and jars of odd and mysterious things. "What are you, a witch?"

"Something like that," she was skimming over a page in the book. "But also, no."

There were two small glass cages in the closet, each with a different tarantula sitting inside, and a large glass cage on the floor in another corner of the room.

"You like spiders?" He bent forward to get a closer look through the glass.

"Yeah," she said, still reading. "The black and orange one is Claudia, and the brown curly-haired one is Teddy Bear."

He snorted at the names. "Pfft, those are weird names."

"Well, what would you have named them?" she turned to look at him.

He shrugged and went over to the large cage. "What's in here?" Other than a large water dish and a big hollow tortoiseshell, the cage appeared vacant.

"Oh, that's Mimsy's cage."

"What is it? … _Where _is it?"

Brooke got up and went over to the cage. "She's nocturnal, so she hides during the day." She pushed a lock on the front of the cage down and the door swung open, then reached her hand into the tortoiseshell and started to pull out a long, very large yellow snake.

"Whoa!" Kenny jumped back; he had expected it to be another spider. "That's awesome!"

The snake flicked its tongue in and out, looking around curiously now that it had been woken up. Brooke was holding its middle while the tail and lower half trailed to the floor and the head slowly danced around in the air trying to catch the scents around it.

"She's just a ball python," Brooke said. "She won't get any bigger. Probably." She stroked the smooth scales for a few moments before placing the snake back in the cage. "I have other pets, but they're in the shed."

"You keep them in the shed?"

"Well, it _was _a shed. Now, it's more like a living room in the backyard. My stepdad calls it 'Brooke's She-Shed'." He laughed. "Anyways," she started rummaging through the shelves in the closet. "I should be able to contact Uncle with the spell in that book… I don't have all of the things I need, though."

Someone knocked on the door.

"WHAT!?" She poked her head out from the closet and yelled.

Darren opened the door. "Hm? Oh, hey Kenny! Oh! Mimsy!" He crouched down to watch the snake slowly slither back into her hiding place.

"Oh, it's just you," Brooke stepped out from her closet and placed a few bottles beside the book. "What do you want? I'm busy."

"I'm bored," he said. "Can I help?"

"You don't even know what I'm doing."

He shrugged. "So? I can still help!"

"Okay," she went over to her desk to write something down on a piece of paper then handed it to him. "I need to do…an experiment. But I'm missing some stuff. Go to the woods and get these things, please."

He skimmed over the list. "Okay! Oh, I already have a live toad." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a toad and handed it to her.

"Why did you have a toad in your pocket?" She took the animal from him.

"I found it on the way here. What's it matter anyway? YOU'RE always carrying around weird animals."

"You got me there..."

"Okay, I'll be back." He left with the list.

When Darren had returned later, he entered Brooke's room to find her carefully pouring a purple sand-like substance in a peculiar pattern on the floor. Several purple candles lined the outer edge of the pattern. It almost resembled a dream catcher.

"Uhh…" Darren slowly closed the door behind him. "Whatchya doin'?"

"Oh," Brooke had just finished. She straightened herself up. "You're back. Did you get everything?"

"Uh, yeah. You're not about to summon Satan, are you?"

"Pfft, no," she said. "I'm calling my uncle. Now, add that stuff to the pile in the center of that rune. But DON'T mess up the pattern!"

"O-Okay."

"Oh, but not the daisy." She took the little white flower out of his hand. "That's for something else."

While he carefully dropped the items in the center, she went around lighting the candles. "Is that lavender?" He asked.

"I…only had scented candles." She explained. "Okay, now, unfortunately, this kind of spell requires a sacrifice."

Darren and Kenny stared at her. "Aw," Darren said. "Is THAT why you needed the toad?!"

"What? No. The toad is a conduit. Besides, it needs a human sacrifice, not a toad."

Darren laughed a little. "Wait, are you serious?"

"Okay, Kenny, come here."

"Me?!" He flinched. "Why me?!"

"Look, I don't WANT to," she told him. "I don't want to kill anybody, but YOU will just come back. So it'll be okay…ish. I mean, you don't _have _to…"

He thought about it for a moment then sighed. "Ugh, fine."

"Wait," Darren said. "What are you guys doing?"

"Stand in the middle," she said, ignoring Darren.

Kenny stepped carefully to the center of the sandy pattern and turned to face her. He felt a small rush of anxiety when she picked up a large wavy dagger. "Is… Is this going to hurt much?"

"I don't know, I've never been killed via stabbing before."

"…Well, then can you at least make it quick?"

"I know it seems unlikely, but trust me, this hurts me a LOT more than it's going to hurt you." She took a slow deep breath.

Darren watched, both highly confused and concerned. Surely this was some kind of joke? She wouldn't really… "HOLY SHIT!" he yelled as she drove the dagger deep into Kenny's heart.

She quickly yanked the blade back out and stepped back as he collapsed in a pool of blood. "Oh god," she panicked a short moment as a horde of rats ran out from nowhere and quickly devoured the body, leaving only the blood behind. "That's a lot of blood…" she quickly grabbed the toad and dropped it onto the bloody pile of ingredients then lightly placed the little daisy in front of it.

The blood trailed along the purple sand. As it soaked up the blood, the candles' flames quivered and changed color from soft orange to purple and the ingredients seemed to melt away and soak into the sand as well. The toad levitated off the ground, its body glowing like the flames, then slowly descended back down to the floor, its eyes now red in color. It croaked a few times then reached an arm out to carefully pick up the daisy and place it on its head.

Darren was standing on the bed with his arms spread out against the walls and pressing his back hard against the wall in an attempt to get as far away from the scene as physically possible. He was staring wide-eyed, and almost hyperventilating from shock and panic as the girl and toad's eyes glowered red and they started speaking in another language that almost sounded backwards. It may have only lasted about two or three minutes before it was over. The glowing stopped, the candle flames extinguished, and they were no longer speaking in that freakish tongue. In fact, the toad was no longer speaking at all. It just sat there, croaking innocently.

"Well, that's just GREAT," Brooke huffed and dusted her jeans off. She noticed Darren standing on her bed and pressed against the wall. "What's wrong with you?"

He gaped at her. "Y-You… You killed…and then…you…you… YOU'RE A WITCH!" he flew from the bed and bolted out the door, down the stairs, and out the house, screaming all the while.

She stared at the doorway for a moment then shrugged. "Eh, he'll get over it. Well, Mr. Toad, time to clean up this mess."

_*Croak*_

**To be continued…**

* * *

**So much ridiculous weird shit in this chapter hahaha! But, honestly, I don't think I can ever beat Matt Stone and Trey Parker when it comes to ridiculous bullshit. South Park is great. Anyways, here you get to learn a small bit of the truth behind Brooke. A SMALL bit. There's so much more to her. I thought it'd be funny if Cthulhu was actually her uncle or something, Lol. Poor Darren is traumatized now.**

**Oh, the little reptilian bird creature that was spying on her is named Spike. The person he was writing to is called Quinzell. My friend came up with the name Quinzell. I thought it was funny so I kept it. It also reminded me of Quetzalcoatl and Quetzalcoatlus (a mythical serpent and a giant pterosaur [flying dino], respectively). And Quinzell's design is similar to that of a skeletal pterosaur. Who and what these two characters are exactly will remain up to speculation for now. They'll be properly introduced later.**

**Meanwhile, Mimsy and Teddy Bear are based off of two of my own real-life pets. A female spider-banana (yellow) ball python, and a (not sure what gender) curly-haired tarantula. Both with those actual names.**


	12. Chapter 12: Louisiana

**Okay, now THIS one is the longest chapter, lol. It would have been even longer, too! But I cut some details out. You'll see what I mean; it's fine. Nothing important. Oh, this is the one where we introduce Lucy. You'll only know about her if you possibly came here from deviantart.**

* * *

"You guys, I'm serious!" Darren said. Yesterday evening he had run home to tell his mother about the events he had witnessed at Brooke's house, but of course she did not believe a word of it and had sent him to bed early. The next morning, his mother had insisted on him stopping his "foolish behavior" and going to school. Now, he was at the bus stop with Stan, Kyle, and Cartman, and he was trying to explain it to them instead.

"Yeah right," Stan rolled his eyes.

"No," Darren told them. "She's some kind of witch! She was glowing and talking in tongues and – and she killed Kenny!"

"No way."

"She did!"

"But dude," Kyle said. "Kenny's right there."

"What?" He turned to see Kenny and Brooke approaching. "But…but… Wait…"

"What are you guys talking about?" Brooke asked with a little smirk.

"Darren thinks you're a witch," Stan told her. "He said you killed Kenny and used a toad for some kind of ritual yesterday in your room."

"Oh," she exchanged a look with Kenny. "Spooky."

.

"Brooke." Darren had avoided her most of the day until recess, when he finally worked up the nerve to confront her once she had wandered away from everyone else. "Are we friends?"

She sighed. "I guess so."

"So… What the hell happened yesterday!? Seriously! I KNOW that wasn't a dream or anything because I never remember my dreams and my imagination SUCKS! You totally did some kind of weird ritual or spell or whatever and KILLED Kenny! THEN you started talking to a toad… AND IT TALKED BACK!"

"Be quiet!" She shushed him. "If you keep freaking out about it, they'll come erase your memory."

"WHO?!"

"SSHH!"

He covered his mouth with his hands.

"It doesn't matter who," she said. "But yes, that DID happen, and NO, I'm not a witch." She suddenly glanced over her shoulder, pausing for a long minute before turning back to him. "I thought they would have erased the memory from you already, but I guess they don't think you're a real problem."

"Who are you talking about?"

"I told you, it doesn't matter. So, get over it already!" she hissed through her teeth at him.

"That only leaves me with more questions," he said.

"Well you're not getting any answers," she retaliated. She made to walk away then stopped to add, "And if you keep going around telling people about it then I'm going to let Sniper eat your toes!"

"…What?!"

**…**

"Brooke," her mother called up the stairs. "Your father sent a surprise for you! Go open the door!"

Oh, father's "present." She walked down the stairs and made her way to the front door. She opened it, expecting to find some kind of package, but was stunned when instead she was met with a very pretty girl with long bluish-gray hair and blue eyes. "Lucy!?"

"Hello~" the girl smiled and preformed a small curtsy.

"Wha- YOU'RE the present Dad sent!?"

Lucy chuckled a little. "Are you surprised?"

"Extremely!" She hugged her. "I haven't seen you in two years!"

"Yes," Lucy smiled. "The Council thought it would be a good time for me to join you. I do hope that you don't mind."

"Of course not! Finally, someone who understands! This is your first time in the mortal realm, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, it's awful," Brooke told her. "They're really stupid here."

"Is that so?"

Brooke moved to let her inside. "I'm guessing they made 'arrangements' for you to stay here?"

"Yes," Lucy stepped inside and looked around curiously, keeping her hands politely folded down in front of her. "Your mortal parents are… 'adopting' me."

"That means you'll have to go to school," Brooke told her. "You'll probably be in a different class from mine, though, since it's already so full. Lucky you. The teacher is…eh, I'm not really sure what to call him."

"Oh," Lucy turned to her. "I'm supposed to tell you 'hi', from Charles and Lamar."

"Oh, are those two dummies behaving?"

"As… As best as they can, I suppose. It's Cassidy who's becoming a problem."

"Female banshees are always problems," Brooke sighed.

"Indeed."

**…**

Lucy had not joined Brooke to go to school the next morning, as she was scheduled to start her first day the day after. The whole day, Brooke had kept quiet about Lucy to the others, wanting to introduce them to her in person as a little surprise of sorts.

"Oh, hey Brooke," Stan greeted as she joined them for lunch. "Kenny was telling us about all the weird cool stuff in your room."

"Oh yeah?"

"She's got crazy pets, too!" Kenny told them. "I saw two tarantulas and a HUGE snake!"

Stan dropped his fork. "Snake?"

"Yeah!"

"She's not 'huge'," Brooke said. "I mean, she's pretty big I guess, but not THAT big. She's just a ball python."

"PYTHON?!" Stan jumped.

"BALL python," she corrected. "They only get about four to six feet."

"HOLY SHIT!"

"Stan doesn't like snakes," Kyle told her.

"Oh," she looked mildly offended. "What'd snakes ever do to you?"

"Nothing," Stan said. "They're just…freaky. They don't even have legs!"

"So? Neither do worms, or fish, or eels, or dolphins… If it's an absence of legs that bothers you, like Kenny said, I also have tarantulas."

"Nope! No thanks! Aren't you afraid of them biting you?!"

"Not at all. Fear only makes them nervous. Makes them feel like they need to be on guard and defend themselves. As long as you don't appear as a threat…"

"How do SPIDERS know if you're a threat or not?!"

"Well, one, by not shouting… Anyways, speaking of my place. You guys should come over after school. Don't worry," she added to Stan, "Not in my room where the creepy crawlies are. I want you guys to meet someone else."

"Is it a new pet?" Darren asked.

She snorted. "Eh, no. She's not a pet. She's my best friend."

"I thought I was your best friend!"

"I can have more than one best friend."

"But who's your BEST best friend?"

"…Not you."

"Fuck!"

After school, the boys followed Brooke to her house, but instead of entering the house, she led them around to the backyard. The backyard was fenced in aside from a spot on the left where the front yard led directly into the backyard and straight to a navy blue shed. In the center, at the back of the backyard was a large oak tree that towered high over the wooden fence and shaded a large portion of the yard. Beside it was a big doghouse with its own door where Sniper was sleeping nearby. He briefly opened his eyes then closed them again after seeing who was in the yard.

"Why'd your stepdad take down that portion of the fence?" Kyle asked.

"For Sniper," Brooke replied simply. She led them over to the shed. "The person I want you guys to meet is in here."

"In your shed?" Stan asked.

"It's more of a bedroom or even a living room now," she told them. "Just…not attached to the house." She opened the door to let them inside and a little black tortoiseshell kitten immediately ran over to greet her. "Oh, this is Jenny." She scooped up the meowing kitten and nuzzled its nose. "You're not supposed to be in here. Naughty kitty!" The kitten purred loudly.

The interior of the shed appeared much larger than the exterior, and it was dim and comfortably cool inside. In the center, towards the back, was a decently sized television propped up on an entertainment console. Facing it was a black leather couch with a matching recliner adjacent to it. On the left side of the room there was a rectangular table with a glass cage on it and on the right were three longer tables all lined up against the wall and corners where many different papers and science tools were. There was a girl sitting at one of these tables and writing something in a notebook.

"Oh," she stood up and went over to greet them with a small curtsy. "Hello there."

The boys were all staring at her, stunned, aside from Darren who smiled and cheerily said, "Hi!"

Brooke was smirking. "You all look amazed."

"Man," Stan said to Brooke, "and I thought YOU were pretty."

"I feel like I should be mildly offended by that," Brooke said, still grinning. "But I'm not, because I know she's gorgeous." She laughed a little. "This is Lucy. Lucy Lupinshire."

"That's a cool name," Darren said.

"Thank you," Lucy said. She seemed very proper and polite and was very pretty and neat. She had long blue-gray hair with sideswept bangs and striking blue eyes, and she wore a soft jacket that was a paler blue than the sky. She also wore a golden heart necklace with a little 'L' in the center of the heart.

"Lucy and I have known each other since we were born," Brooke explained. "Now she's going to live here!"

"Oh, sweet," Darren said.

"Oh great," Cartman rolled his eyes. "Another GIRL."

"Wait," Stan said. "She's living HERE? Like, in your shed?"

"Well, with me and my family. We have another bedroom, but for some reason she wanted to stay in here. So, yeah, here in the shed."

"But what happened to YOUR parents?" he asked Lucy. "They just let you move in with your friend? Or… Or did something bad happen?"

"Oh," Lucy said. "It's a bit complicated. But yes, I'm allowed to stay here now."

"Oh, cool," Stan said. He glanced over at Kyle. "Um, Kyle? You okay, dude?"

"I… Uh…" He was still staring in shock at Lucy and looking like he might pass out or vomit. "Bduh…um…"

"Huh," Brooke eyed him. "Well, Kyle's broken. Anyways, Lucy, this is Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Darren, and Cartman. Though, I guess you'll end up calling him by his first name, Eric."

"Why do you refer to him by his last name?" she asked curiously.

"Well, I don't know about these guys, but I do because I hate him."

"Come now," Lucy lightly scolded her.

"What's all this stuff for?" Kenny suddenly asked. He had gone over to the tables in the corner.

"Oh, that's mostly Lucy's stuff. She's super smart and likes experimenting with all kinds of science things."

"Oh," Lucy smiled. "Is he the boy you told me about?"

Kenny looked over at them. "Huh? Told her what?"

"Yeah," Darren chuckled. "What'd you tell her about Kenny?"

Brooke's face grew hot with embarrassment. "Nothing like YOU'RE thinking! I was just telling her about…about what had happened the other day. Uh, the day before you started freaking out about me being a witch."

"Oh… Ohhhhhh," he finally realized she was talking about that freaky ritual with the toad.

"She's told me about you, too," Lucy told him.

"She did?"

"Yes. About you and your…_abilities_. She's already told me about all of you, actually. And all of the shenanigans she had gotten caught up in with you all. My, and it's only been about two weeks since you've been here, Princess."

"Lucy!"

"Oh! Sorry… Brooke."

"Princess?" Stan tilted his head.

"Dang, Brooke," Darren said. "You got her trained already?"

"Shut up. It's a… a nickname from my family."

"Because you're so bossy?" Cartman asked.

Brooke narrowed her eyes at him. "No! Jerk!"

"I don't find her to be bossy," Lucy mused aloud to herself. "Just…stubborn."

"I was a lot calmer and nicer before I moved to this stupid town," Brooke muttered.

"I'll say," Darren agreed.

"Speaking of your previous home," Lucy turned to Brooke. "Are you sure your little trip back is…safe?"

"As safe as Mardi Gras can be… So, not really."

"That's not what I was referring to…"

"Wait," Kyle seemed to briefly snap out of his trance. "You've just moved here like two weeks ago and you're already going back?"

"Just for a week."

"Oh yeah!" Darren got excited. "We're going back for a week for Mardi Gras! Oh god! That's three days from now! I gotta get packed!"

"You still have two whole days," Brooke told him.

"But I'll forget!"

"True. Anyways, that's another thing. You guys can come, too, if you want. We're borrowing Darren's mom's minivan."

"You are?" Darren asked.

"If any of these guys come, yes. My 'people' are very persuasive."

He didn't like the way she said 'people'.

"We get to miss a whole week of school to go to parades and parties?" Stan asked. "I'm in."

"Hell yeah!" Kenny cheered.

"I don't know if my mom will let," Kyle said. "I've heard that holiday can be pretty dangerous."

"Pfft," Brooke rolled her eyes. "I've seen worse in this town in one DAY. Besides, it's a great cultural experience."

"That's true… Okay."

"You can come, too." She said to Cartman.

"I… I can?" he was confused.

She sighed. "I suppose." She turned and muttered to herself, "Besides, I might use you as a meat shield."

.

Two days later, the evening before they were to leave, the boys all gathered over at Brooke's house, unbeknownst to her. She was sitting at the desk in her room, leaning over a large piece of paper, and very carefully drawing something when Darren threw the door open and shouted "Hey Brooke!"

"Shit!" She jumped and accidentally dragged a long line with her pencil across the paper. "God damnit Darren!"

"Oops…sorry."

"What do you want?" she asked angrily and started to carefully erase the line.

"We're gonna sleep over here tonight since we're leaving early in the morning. Maybe save on like thirty minutes of sleep, I don't know."

"We?" She looked up to find that the others had accompanied him. "You're sleeping in MY room?!"

"Why not?" He shrugged and dropped his bag on the floor.

"Because you're five BOYS. We HAVE another bedroom you know!"

"Yeah, but it's cold in there."

"Hm, it IS pretty warm in here," Cartman pushed his way into the room to look around. "Probably because you're like the spawn of Satan, right? Can't get too cold?"

She glared at him. "It's because of the heaters on the animal tanks. They're cold-blooded."

"Yeah," he said. "Just like you."

"I don't know," Stan shifted away from the large tank in the corner. "Maybe I'll sleep in that other room. Are there snakes in that room?"

"No," Brooke said.

"Cool." He walked across to the vacant bedroom.

"We'll all have to share a room anyway when we get there," Darren sat down on the carpeted floor. "Besides, what do you care?"

She sighed and went back to her drawing. "Whatever."

"It's kind of weird being in a girl's room," Kyle remarked, looking around. "But it's not very girly." He went over to examine the tarantulas sitting immobile in their cages. "Why do you have spiders anyway?"

"Why not?" she replied. "I like spiders. I like all living things… Except Cartman."

"Well fuck you too!" he snapped.

"I especially like the ones other people don't like," she said then added, "Except Cartman."

"HEY!"

"They're just misunderstood," she ignored him.

Something squeaked from behind Kenny, and he turned and climbed onto the bed to investigate. The brown rat that Brooke had dubbed 'Snatch' was poking his nose out from behind the pillow, his whiskers twitching as he sniffed the air. Kenny moved the pillow and picked up the rat, carefully stroking its head.

"You just let your animals run around like that?" Kyle asked upon noticing the rat.

"Only the trained ones," Brooke told him.

"And what's all this stuff in your closet? All these weird bottles and jars?"

"You're asking too many questions."

"I thought you liked Twenty-One Questions," Darren said, earning him a leer from the girl.

Her stepfather poked his head into the room. "Sheesh, why do you have so many boy friends?"

"Because I'm not a lesbian."

He snorted. "Ha! Okay, well, food's ready. I made chicken stew."

The kids gathered downstairs in the dining room where the table was already set while Brooke's parents joined each other in the kitchen. Brooke sat at the head of the table just as Lucy entered through the backdoor with Sniper in tow. Sniper ran over to a large doggy dish in the corner and began guzzling down his food while Lucy went to sit in the chair right of Brooke.

Kyle froze as Lucy sat beside him.

"Hello," she said kindly.

"H-Hi," he squeaked, trying not to look at her.

After dinner, Lucy left back out through the backdoor and Sniper followed the rest of the kid's upstairs. "Uh, hey," Stan said in the hall. "Can I take Sniper with me?"

Brooke rarely slept without her dog with her, but she also figured that Stan just didn't want to be alone with his fear of snakes knowing that a large snake was in the other room. "Mm… Fine."

Sniper seemed to like Stan and happily followed the boy into the other room and jumped up onto the bed to lay down beside him. In Brooke's room, Darren had set up a small pillow fort of sorts on the floor in the closet and crawled inside of it. He had left a gap in the roof so that he could watch a large jar on the lowest shelf that was filled with a swirling, glowing orange liquid that vaguely reminded him of a lava lamp.

"I guess you're all set up," Kyle said.

"Yup."

"That's what he always does when he stays over," Brooke said. "Though, he rarely sleeps over."

"Because he lives right next door?"

"No, because I don't like him here."

Kyle blinked at her. "O-Oh. Do you like anyone?"

"I like Lucy," she said and he shifted his feet a little. "Clyde, Butters… You and Kenny." She was thinking.

"Screw you," Darren's voice called from the closet.

"I like Tweek, too," she continued.

Kyle glanced over at Cartman, who had made himself comfortable beside the heat mat attached to the large cage. "You two assholes took all the rest of the pillows and blankets!"

"I'm sure you and Kenny can fit on the bed with me," Brooke said. She was climbing onto the bed and pulling the sheets up to cover herself.

Kyle blushed a little. "Um, are you sure that's okay?"

"Who cares? Just lay across from me," she told him. "At the other end of the bed. Kenny… What are you doing?"

He froze. He had taken his coat and shirt off and was in the process of removing his pants. "Uhhh… My bad. I like to sleep in my underwear."

"Me too," Darren said from his fort and his shirt flew out from the mouth of it followed by his pants.

"Boys…" Brooke rolled her eyes. "Fine. I don't care."

"Okay," Kyle pointed at Kenny as he finished removing his clothes. "I'm not sleeping on the same side as you."

He shrugged and climbed into the bed beside Brooke. She glanced over her shoulder at him for a brief moment then decided she didn't care and turned back to the wall.

The next morning; Brooke had almost forgotten about the boys in her room and was almost startled when she woke to find herself face-to-face with Kenny who was very close to her and was clinging to her wrist. "Wha- Kenny! Let go!"

"Huh? Ah!" He jumped back and fell onto the floor with a loud thud that startled Kyle awake.

"W-What happened?" Kyle shot up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Oh!" Brooke leaned over the edge of the bed to look at Kenny. "Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh!" He quickly snatched up the pillow that had fallen with him and covered his reddening face with it. "I'm okay!"

"Mehhh," Cartman said sleepily. "I…smell pancakes…"

"Pancakes!?" Darren launched a pillow across the room in his rush to get out of the fort.

After eating breakfast, they gathered their things into the trunk of the big green minivan and climbed inside. "I wanna sit in the back," Darren climbed over the seat before Brooke's mother could put it down.

"Not me," Cartman said. "I gotta be by an exit. Just in case I have to pee real bad. I don't want to wait for the seat to be put down."

"There's one too many of you," Brooke's mom said. "Four of you will have to squeeze into the back row."

Stan and Kyle joined Darren in the back while Kenny quickly placed himself between Cartman and Brooke in the middle row, earning him an odd look from Cartman. Brooke's stepdad had stacked all of the luggage to one side in the trunk so that Sniper could have room on the other.

"Y-You're sitting with us?" Kyle stammered as Lucy joined the back row.

"Is that alright?" she asked.

"Y-Yeah! I'm mean, s-sure. Of course!"

"Don't worry," Brooke said. "Cartman counts for at LEAST two people."

"Hey!"

"Brooke!" Her mother scolded. "That's no way to talk about your friends."

"But he's NOT my friend."

"Brooke! Apologize!"

She narrowed her eyes at Cartman's smug expression, glancing between him and her mother then muttering, "Sorry."

"I – I'm sorry," he said, smiling. "What was that?"

She gritted her teeth and ignored him.

"We're going to pass a tiny bit through the northeastern corner of New Mexico," Lucy said as she looked over a map on her phone. "Then through the northern parts of Texas until we reach Louisiana. Without stops, it takes about twenty hours and fifty-eight minutes to reach our destination."

"So," Stan said, "we'll get there tomorrow morning."

"Yes. With stops for food and restroom breaks," she thought for a moment, "we will likely arrive at our destination between six and six forty-seven a.m."

"That's…really specific," Kyle said.

"Lucy is very - what's a good word? Efficient," Brooke said.

Before lunch, the ride was relatively quiet, especially since Cartman had fallen back asleep soon after they got onto the highway. Lucy kept silent, calmly looking out the window at the passing scenery. Darren was answering Stan's questions about where they were going and the holiday, and once Kyle had relaxed, he joined in the conversation as well. In the middle row, Brooke had decided on a game to play in which she and Kenny took turns adding things to a drawing, snorting and snickering at each other's additions each time they exchanged the paper until they had created some kind of atrocious amalgamation of Cartman, a rooster, and some kind of bug.

"Brooke," Darren asked at around eleven or so, "Who's taking care of all your other pets while we're gone?"

"I asked Clyde and Butters to," she replied as she drew horns on the creature they had created.

"That sounds like a recipe for disaster," Kyle told her.

She shrugged. "I really just asked Butters, but Clyde was there too and he wanted to do it. So, I said they both could since I have so many. And anyways, I left instructions."

"What do you kids want for lunch?" Her mother asked from the front passenger seat.

"Hunh?" Cartman jolted awake. "Wha- Who – Who said lunch? Hey…" he looked over at the drawing as Kenny took it. "Psh! What the hell is that?"

"You," Kenny said.

"That looks nothing like me!"

"Taco Bell!" Darren shouted.

"Yeah, Taco Bell!" Stan said.

"Last call for Taco Bell before I turn!" Stepdad called.

"Taco Bell! Taco Bell!" Darren and Stan started chanting.

"I don't care!" Brooke said over the chanting as Cartman and Kenny started bickering over the drawing.

"Alright, Taco Bell it is," her stepdad said.

Much later, long after the sun had set, all of the children in the vehicle had fallen asleep. Aside from Lucy, who was staring apprehensively up at the night sky and watching the clouds pass over the thin sliver of a soon-to-be new moon. Beside her, Kyle was slouched in his seat, his chin resting on his chest. Next to him, Stan was leaning forward with his forehead pressed against the seat in front of him. His phone had fallen to the soft floor after slipping out of his hands as his consciousness left, and Darren's head was threatening to slip from his own hand that was propping it up by the window. In front of them, Cartman had twisted himself so that he was almost laying completely sideways on the seat with his face sagging against the car door. In his sleepy attempt to make more room for himself, he had pushed Kenny and Brooke against the other door where they were leaning against each other in their sleep.

Lucy let out a quiet little sound of surprise as something touched her back. She glanced over to find that Kyle had fallen against her. She tilted her head, watching him for a moment, then turned her attention back to the sky.

**…**

"Alright everyone, we're here."

"Huh," Kyle looked at the time. "Six thirty-two. Lucy was right."

"I thought I could have been more specific," Lucy said aloud to herself. "I would have been a minute off though… I was allowing for much more error than I needed."

"Wow, pretty AND smart," Cartman said. "What's the catch?"

"Pardon?"

"Shut up, Cartman!" Kyle snapped.

They had arrived at a nice hotel. "Man," Stan said as they exited the vehicle, "it's really hot and humid here. Like Florida."

"What do you mean?" Darren asked. "This is nice weather. Kinda chilly, actually."

"Where are we?" Cartman asked, looking around.

"Houma."

"Hoe – Maw?"

"HOUMA! Home – Uh!"

"The hell is that?"

"That's the name of the town!"

"I thought we'd be going to New Orleans or something," Kyle said.

"We will," Brooke told him as she opened the trunk for Sniper. "You get to experience two different sides of Mardi Gras. Houma, then New Orleans."

"What's the difference?" Stan asked.

"Oh, you'll see," she grinned.

Stan blinked then turned to Darren for explanation. "New Orleans parades are super compact. Like, so many people you can't even sit down, and they don't throw much. Houma's more fun. But it also might be more…dangerous?"

"Exciting, is the word I'd use," said Brooke's mother.

Brooke stopped to watch Kenny pet Sniper. It suddenly dawned on her just how likely and how often this boy was to be killed this week. "Oh god," she said.

"What?" Her stepdad asked. "You gotta shit?"

"This first parade is called the Hercules Parade," Lucy informed the boys. "It's tonight and starts at six. It likely won't end until ten or eleven. That is, if there are no breakdowns."

"Breakdowns?" Stan echoed.

"Yeah," Darren said. "Sometimes all the drunk people on the float bounce the float too much and blow out a tire or bust an axle."

"The Hercules Parade is an all men's parade," Lucy continued.

"What does that mean?"

"All of the riders are men."

"So," Stan said. "A bunch of drunk adult men are going to chuck hard plastic beads at us from on top of big floats?"

Darren shrugged. "Beads, footballs, stuffed animals and toys, candy…"

"And hopefully not their beer," Lucy sighed.

"It's never happened to me before," Brooke said. "They usually give me little fake roses and beer-soaked stuffed animals."

"They just throw free stuff at you?" Cartman asked.

"Well, yeah," Darren replied. "Most of it's pretty useless, but…"

"Sweeeeeet."

"Oh, okay."

"Between parades we'll go do other things, too," Brooke told them. "In New Orleans, they have a zoo, aquarium, and an insectarium. As well as a bunch of other crap."

"Are we going to any of those places?" Kyle asked.

"We can go to all three. There's a special for kids. I like aquariums best, though."

"Are we gonna wrestle alligators?" Cartman asked.

"Um, only if you want to lose a limb. Or die. We can go feed them, though."

"We can?" Kyle was a little surprised.

"Sure," she shrugged. "It's like feeding pigeons, except they might tear your legs off if you get too close."

"Is that like a…common thing here?"

"What? Feeding alligators or losing your legs?"

"Both."

"Feeding alligators, sure, down the bayou it is."

Cartman chuckled. "Down the bayou. Heh."

She ignored him. "Losing your legs…eh, only if you're stupid."

Kyle turned to Stan. "Well, I guess Cartman's going to lose his legs this week."

"Hey! Screw you, you stupid Jew!"

"Jew?" Lucy tilted her head.

"Dude," Brooke said. "Did you just use the word 'Jew' as an insult?"

Darren was trying not to laugh.

They spent the day resting and settling in to the hotel room until about five o'clock when Brooke's parents gathered them all up to leave. They piled back into the minivan for a few minutes while her mother drove them to a parking lot a little ways away from a mall, then exited the vehicle and walked down to a road where people had gathered on either side standing, sitting in camping chairs and the tailgates of trucks, or walking along the street. They stopped at a large black truck within walking distance of a convenience store where two older ladies were sitting in chairs.

"Oh, you brought a whole classroom of kids with you!" one of the ladies said.

"These are family friends," Brooke explained to the boys and Lucy. "We'll be hanging out here for the parade."

Cartman was already climbing up into the back of the truck after spotting a large white cooler in the back. He opened it and pushed the ice around until he found a soda.

"Who are all these kids, then?" the lady asked Brooke. "I only remember Darren."

"The girl is Lucy. And that's Stan, Kenny, Kyle, and the one already raiding your drinks is Cartman." She gestured to each in turn.

"Well, my name's Tut," the lady introduced herself. "But everybody calls me Momma T. And that old fart over there is my sister."

"Hi Momma T," the boys said.

"Hello," Lucy performed her signature little curtsy.

"Look 'it this one! Fancy. You two girls are real cute you know."

"Thank you."

"So," Momma T leaned over to mutter to Brooke. "Which one of them is your boyfriend?"

She felt a little rush of heat. "None of them!"

"Ohhh." The lady leaned back in her chair with a smirk. "Okay."

"Pfft." Brooke huffed and joined the boys on the tailgate, sitting herself between Kenny and Darren.

"So, you never told me," Kenny said to her. "Did you talk to, um, your uncle?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you, did I? Yes. I managed to get in touch with him. I mean, that's what that whole 'ritual' was. A phone call."

"With a toad?" Darren, who was the only other person listening, eyed her in an odd manner.

Kenny waited a moment for her to continue, but she didn't say anything. "Well?! What did he say?"

"Oh, um, well… Basically, he said no."

"Damnit!"

"I told you… Souls are a big deal back home. Actually, they're everything back home. YOU only have ONE soul, like all living things, but the energy's still there every time you die."

"Meaning?"

"Reoccurring deaths using the same soul is basically an infinite source of energy."

"So," Darren said, only half understanding what they were talking about, "It's like using the money cheat in Sims over and over again?"

"Er, well… Yeah, something like that. It's a rare curse that got banned a century ago. Of course, Uncle is ruler of his own domain so I guess it's different there…"

"Well," Kenny started lightly swinging his legs off the edge of the tailgate. "Thanks anyway."

"There IS some good news," she said. "Since he's stuck in some random crappy dimension now, I did convince him to slack off a bit. So, that's a thing."

Police sirens and motorcycles started roaring up and down the street. "What's going on?" Stan asked, covering his ears.

"Parade's starting," Darren said over the noise. "They're basically telling everyone to get the fuck outta the street or get run over!"

The people waiting along the street cheered and shouted as the first float passed, a float made to resemble a giant alligator with glowing eyes and mouth, as beads, plastic cups, and colorful coins were thrown at them from the riders. The process repeated itself with each float that passed, each float blaring loud party music as its riders bounced and rocked it while wearing costumes and masks. Between floats were marching bands, dancers, horse-drawn carriages, and police cars with their blue lights flashing warnings to all of the drunken people.

"What the –" Kenny had gotten smacked with a thrown bag of potato chips. "They throw food, too?!"

"Yeah," Darren laughed. "Uh, are you hungry?" Kenny had begun to gather up all of the thrown candy and snacks he could find.

"I'm poor damnit!" He said. "I take what I can get!"

"Uh, okay!" He glanced over at Cartman who was fighting with some kid over doubloons. "Dude, you know those are fa-"

Brooke slapped her hand over his mouth and held her finger up to her own to tell him to be quiet. She removed her hand then gasped and grabbed the back of Kenny's parka, yanking him backwards from the road just before a large horse came stomping past with a snort. "Pay attention!" she fussed.

"Hey, guys!" Cartman ran over, carrying a large pile of purple and silver colored coins. "I'm rich!"

"That's great," Brooke said. "But you – CRAWFISH SACK!" She pushed Kenny aside and got herself out of the way as well.

Cartman laughed. "Ha-ha, what? AGHH!" A very large purple sack, completely stuffed with hard plastic beads, slammed right into him, knocking him down onto the cement and sending clanking coins all over. "Ugh… Noooo, my money!" He couldn't get up from the weight of the bag on his back.

"Oh dear," Lucy said and pushed it off of him. "Are you all right?"

"My spiiiine…"

Brooke watched him from the other side of the truck. "Hey," Kenny said behind her. "Look what I found!"

"Hm?" She turned to look. He was holding up a long bead with a frilly-looking pair of panties hanging from the end of it. "Oh," she snorted, "one of those beads. Last year I caught a little rubber ball that was actually a boob."

"What?! I want a boob ball!"

"Sorry to interrupt," Lucy walked over to them, "but I think Eric might be injured. At least, he can't seem to get up…"

"It was me or him," Brooke said defensively.

"And yet, you still pushed Kenneth out of the way."

"I could only save one."

"Y-Yes, but…"

"It's okay. The parade's almost over anyway. Let's drag him over here so no one trips on him."

"Very well. Er…" she stopped upon noticing the bead Kenny was holding. "Humans are…fascinating creatures."

"What?" he said. "You're not human?"

By the time the last float had passed, everyone was gathering up their things and heading back to their vehicles. It was nearly eleven p.m., just as Lucy had predicted. Stan and Kyle clambered into the backseat with some new toys and a whistle they had caught, with Darren who had only bothered to keep a giant Pixie Stick candy, and Lucy who had not bothered to take, or even touch, anything. Kenny was wearing the panty bead around his neck and holding a plastic bag he had found and placed all of his collected snacks in, while Brooke was half-heartedly trying to console a very defeated Cartman.

"It's all gone…" Cartman said.

"Yeah, yeah," she patted his shoulder. "Would it make you feel better if we went to iHop? They're open twenty-four hours~"

He sniffed. "Yes."

"Okay. Mom, can we go to iHop?"

"Wow," Kyle said, looking out the window. "Look at all that trash."

Darren shrugged. "It'll be gone by tomorrow. They bring a street sweeper and make the inmates clean up the rest."

**…**

They had been in the minivan for an hour the next day until they reached a large city where the people drove like they were playing some kind of road rage death rally game. "So this is New Orleans?" Cartman remarked.

"This is the six lanes of fear," Brooke said. She was staring out the window, worriedly watching all of the vehicles speeding around them. Several times, she would get a small rush of adrenaline as speeding cars cut across multiple lanes in fell swoops, cutting in front of several people at once. "I hate this place so much." She inadvertently clutched Kenny's sleeve as a white Mustang cut them off and pushed herself as far back against her seat as she could.

"We're about to turn off of this death trap now," her mother informed her.

They exited the six lane down a curving ramp that twisted back around and led to a traffic light beneath the raised highway they were just on. Sitting in the shade of the highway's shadow and prowling along past the cars waiting at the red light were many homeless people, most of which looked like drug addicts.

"Careful everybody," Cartman warned. "There are homeless people lurking about."

"Yeah, don't give them any money," Darren added. "Most of these guys are crackheads."

The light had turned green before any of them had reached their vehicle, and the minivan quickly sped away, turning down congested streets of old stone buildings and skyscrapers. In between the two sides of the road was a rail track where old trolley streetcars rolled by.

"We're going to stay in a hotel here for the next three days," her mother told them. "Tuesday is Mardi Gras day. We'll go to the parade here for Tuesday then head back to Houma to rest the last day before heading back to Colorado."

"Are we doing anything today?" Stan asked.

"The hotel is within walking distance from the River Walk," Brooke replied. "It's like a shopping mall area with lots of food courts." Cartman suddenly seemed more interested. "From the River Walk you can get to the Audubon Zoo, Aquarium, and Insectarium. Take your pick of those three."

"Let's go to the zoo," Stan said.

"It's hot here, though," Kyle said. "Maybe the aquarium would be better?

"Maybe. Or the insectarium. They're both inside."

"The insectarium is not as big as the other two," Brooke said. "We can go there first then get some food and pick one of the other two after."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Cartman said.

"Okay, let's do that."

After parking and exiting the minivan, they followed Brooke's parents along the sidewalks towards their destination. "Hey, kid," a voice said and Cartman stopped to look around. "Yeah, you, the fat one."

"I'm not fat! I'm big boned!"

"I bet'cha ten dollas I know where you got dem shoes." A raggedy hobo was sitting up against the side of one of the buildings and pointing at Cartman's shoes.

"What? Yeah right."

"Yeah, yeah! I know where you got dem shoes. You got 'em on ya feet!" He let out a wheezing laugh. "Now pay up!"

Cartman looked utterly shocked. "What?! No! I'm not paying you!"

"The deal was ten dollas!"

"I didn't make a deal with you!"

"Come on, Eric," Brooke's mother had gone back to collect the boy. He glared at the hobo as she steered him away.

"Classic," Darren smiled.

.

The inside of the insectarium was very cool and much appreciated by the group. At the very start, there was a glass box display of a large decaying piece of wood that was covered with huge cave roaches. Brooke only briefly glanced over them before continuing, hurrying past the common cockroach exhibit and refusing to look at it at all as she sped into the next area. Uninterested in the roaches, the others followed, meeting up with her around a display where a massive yellow and black beetle was gorging itself on fruit.

"A Hercules beetle," Lucy commented.

"Whoa, it's huge!" Stan leaned over to get a closer look.

"There is a Goliath beetle in this one," Lucy went over to another display.

"Hey," Darren called Kenny over to a different area. "Watch this. Hey, Cartman! Come check this out!" Cartman went over to them. "There's a really big spider in here," Darren gestured to the entranceway beside him that was made to resemble a jungle cave. "Like, the world's BIGGEST spider EVER!"

"Psh, we'll see about that." He walked into the entrance, triggering a motion-activated animatronic of a man-sized tarantula that jumped out at him with a loud mechanical hiss. "AHHGH!"

The two boys outside of the entranceway were in a fit of laughter.

.

The butterfly garden was likely the most interesting place in the insectarium, though it was significantly warmer and humid. It was a large, pretty area with a peaceful atmosphere. There were many tropical plants, bushes, and trees, and a big koi pond took up most of the floor with a lovely red bridge that curved over it to connect both sides. Many different species of butterflies, big and small, fluttered and flitted about while others sipped from sliced fruits and hummingbird feeders.

Lucy had stopped on the bridge and held her hand out for a dark brown butterfly. "This one is my favorite," she said as Kyle stopped beside her. It fluttered away, flashing bright blue with each flap.

"Wow," he smiled. "That one IS cool."

"Hey, this is pretty neat," Cartman said. He had held out his arms for three butterflies that were fluttering around him and they promptly landed on him. After a moment, a few more came over to perch themselves on the boy. "Heh, it's like they worship me. Wha- Wait… Agh! Get them off!"

"Oh dear," Lucy said. Cartman was almost completely covered by butterflies.

"Ah! Help! They won't let go!"

"Oh," she carefully shooed the creatures away. There was an explosion of color as all of the butterflies flew off in all directions. "They're only butterflies, Eric." She said serenely.

"Oh – Oh, you saved me! I thought they were gonna eat me!"

"Eat you?" She tilted her head. "Butterflies can't eat you."

"Well, I felt something picking me!"

"Oh, you must mean their claws."

"Claws?!"

"Yes. They have little claws to hold on to things when they land. Quite harmless, really."

Brooke, Stan, and Kenny had continued on to the giftshop. "Kenny," she went over to them with a yellow lollipop. Inside of it was a small scorpion. "I'll give you a dollar if you eat this."

"Is that a REAL scorpion in there?" Stan asked.

"Yeah."

"Deal!" Kenny snatched the lollipop and bit the whole thing off the stick.

Brooke and Stan made both amused and disgusted faces as they watched him struggle to chew it. "What does it taste like?" she asked.

He chewed for a few more moments then swallowed. "The scorpion was okay, but the lollipop tasted like shit."

"Ah," she said and handed him a dollar bill. "Good to know."

"Hey guys," Darren said when he found them. "Cartman just got assaulted by butterflies. Ha-ha!"

"Oh, neat," Brooke said. "Kenny just ate a scorpion."

"Aw, was it one of those gross lollipops?"

.

"I can't believe your parents are paying for all of us," Kyle said to Brooke.

They had left the insectarium and gone over to the place called the River Walk, and were now getting their lunches. Brooke and Kyle had gone over to the little Chinese restaurant of the food court while everyone else went to get food from others.

"It's fine," she told him.

They all met up at two side-by-side tables after getting their preferred lunches. Cartman was the last to met them, showing up with a pile of large pieces of different types of fudge. "You guys," he said. "This place is awesome! There's chocolate fudge, peanut butter fudge, cookies n' cream –"

"Is that what you're eating for lunch?" Lucy interrupted.

"Yeah. So?"

"Heh, careful," Brooke told him. "Louisiana food'll make you fat…er."

"I'm not fat!"

"Where are we going next?" Stan asked.

"Let's go to the aquarium," Darren said. "It's nice and cold in there. We can go to the zoo tomorrow or something."

"Yeah, okay."

**…**

"Jeez, you guys weren't kidding about not being able to sit at this parade," Kyle said.

They were standing in the front of the crowd along a large street. There were so many people clustered together on both sides that everyone had to stand. The parade had been going on for almost an hour now. The floats were nice, but there was little to nothing thrown, and they were getting tired of standing. Every now and then, police mounted on large horses would march by to force the crowd back or risk getting smacked by a buff horse chest.

Kenny had been one of those people in the way. The crowd had not pushed back far enough for him to get out of the way in time as one of the horses stomped up to him, knocking him over and crushing him beneath its hooves before continuing its march.

"You saved him from getting trampled by a horse the first night but he got trampled by one anyway," Darren told Brooke.

"God damnit!" She shouted. "This isn't Final fucking Destination!"

"Oh my god!" Stan yelled. "They killed Kenny!"

Kyle gasped. "You bastards!"

"Interesting," Lucy remarked to herself.

.

Everyone was asleep in the hotel room. The two adults had one bed to themselves, and the children were all able to fit on both ends of the other large bed. Brooke, Lucy, and Darren were all on one side while Kyle, Stan, and Cartman were on the other. The only one that was not actually asleep was Lucy.

There was a light knocking at the door, and she carefully got out of the bed to answer it. She opened the door to find Kenny waiting on the other side. "Oh," she said. "You're back sooner than I expected." She moved to let him inside. "Princess, er, sorry, Brooke, had told me about your curse."

"Really?" He took his parka off. "What are you guys?"

"Not human, I can tell you that much. Never mind that, though. Get some sleep. They said that we are going to feed wild alligators tomorrow."

He shrugged and climbed into the bed beside Brooke. Lucy went around the other side and laid down beside Darren who turned over in his sleep too close to Brooke who sleepily smacked him away from herself.

"You know," Lucy whispered suddenly. "I find it odd how protective she is of you. Considering the curse, I mean. She's always been protective of those she cares about, but I didn't think she'd be so much so in this situation."

"Oh." He turned away so that she couldn't see his blushing face, despite the fact that they were in the dark.

"I suppose it's because she doesn't want you to get hurt. You may come back, but dying is still an unpleasant experience. At least, that's what I've been told."

"Yeah, it sucks."

"For lack of a better term… Well, goodnight."

"Uh, yeah, goodnight."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Wow, what a long one. And it could've been SO much longer, too! Anyways, here's a little list of fun facts and tidbits about this chapter -**

***Lucy is very smart and very pretty. Also, her name, Lucy Lupinshire, is a pun. Can you guess why?**

***Darren has a tendency to bust into Brooke's room without warning and without telling her that he's coming over.**

***I remember an episode where Stan freaked out about a snake. So, apparently he's afraid of snakes. Brooke did not bother telling him that there is a second snake in the she-shed in that glass tank.**

***I also remember in some episodes and the movie that Kenny is one of those boys that likes to sleep in their underwear. I think that's funny. Darren is based off of my real-life friend, who also sleeps in his underwear.**

***Brooke is not used to physical interaction/closeness from humans, so it freaks her out. Hints, her reaction to Kenny when she woke up.**

***Lucy tends to stay up very late.**

***Brooke and Kenny's car drawing game is based off a similar game I used to play in school.**

***Momma T, as well as Brooke's mother and stepdad, are all based off of real people I know. So, the interactions are based off of those real people's personalities. Brooke's pets are based off of real pets I have, and Brooke's personality is somewhat based off of my own.**

***I chose Louisiana because it is where I live, so I know the most about it. The details of the places and the parades are very accurate.**

***Feeding wild alligators is a real activity we do here. Sometimes we go down the bayou where the gators hang out and throw bread and bologna to them. They love it.**

***The joke that hobo played on Cartman is a real joke they try to pull in New Orleans.**

***Houma is the neighboring town of the town I live in, Gray. New Orleans is an hour away.**

***Besides Cartman, roaches are the only living things Brooke hates.**

***Darren only remembers the ritual and how Kenny died there. He doesn't actually remember any other Kenny deaths after they happen. But he is now aware of the curse.**

***Kenny only died once the whole week because Brooke spent most of it looking after him, which Lucy noticed and pointed out.**

***My friend pointed out how New Orleans is famous for its restaurants and the group chose to eat at a mall food court. I responded with, "You don't know where they ate for supper later."**


	13. Chapter 13: Claudia

**Ahh, this one is so short. Weird for this story, especially after the last chapter, which was a 23 page document. Lol. This one's just some little shenanigans that leads to a brief introduction of a new character. I have big plans for this character. Well, I have big plans for the story in general, too. Pretty soon, we'll be getting into some more serious (maybe even depressing) stuff. But hey, what's a good story without drama?**

* * *

Brooke had left Butters with a very specific list of how to care for her animals before they left for the week. She had also told him beforehand that they would only need to go check up on the animals once. Some of her pets only ate once a week, while the others had special feeders and waterers that lasted about that long. So, on the third to last day before Brooke and the others were scheduled to return, he went over to her house where he met up with Clyde.

"Hiya, Clyde," he greeted the other boy cheerfully then looked at the list. "Brooke wrote that we should check on the animals in the shed first."

"Okay," Clyde eyed the piece of paper. "How long is that list?" Butters unfolded the bottom and it began to fall open all the way to the ground. "Holy crap!"

"Well, let's see here…" Butters pulled a ring of keys out from his pocket and tested a few on the shed door before finally finding the match.

"That's a lot of keys."

"Yeah, she said most of her animals are locked up."

"That's weird." Clyde followed him into the shed.

"This is where that girl Lucy stays," Butters told him. "Did you meet her?"

"No."

"Oh, she's real nice! And pretty." He went over to the glass cage on the left side of the room. "Okay. Says here that there's a corn snake in this cage. Oh, well her name is Gertrude!" Clyde snorted at the name. "I already took the mice outta the freezer, so they should be nice and defrosted now. Aw, poor little fella…" he peered inside of the bag at the dead animal.

"Hey, I wanna feed the snake!" Clyde hurried over and took the bag.

"Well okay, but she wrote that you gotta use the tongs." He looked around and found them on the table, next to the tank. "Oh! Here you go!" He turned two locks at the top of the cage and opened it.

At the commotion of the top being opened, a scarlet and black snake poked its little head out from a small hole in the substrate at the bottom of the tank. It flicked its tongue out, peering up at them with big round eyes.

"Aw," Butters said. "She's kinda cute. Oh, wow…"

The snake was longer than they had realized. It slowly stretched up towards the top of the tank until its head was sticking out and pointed directly at them. A little freaked out now, Clyde took a step back and stretched his arm out, holding the mouse as far away from himself as possible and offering it to the snake, which snatched it in the blink of an eye and quickly retreated back into the cage with it.

"Cool," Clyde smirked as Butters locked the cage top.

"Okay," Butters checked the list. "Now we have to go downstairs."

"Downstairs? What do you mean?"

"Look," he showed him the list. "It says there's some stairs under the trapdoor."

"What trapdoor?"

They glanced around and spotted a trapdoor with a padlock on the floor in the back corner of the shed. Butters fiddled with the keys again until finding the correct one and opening it. For a long moment, they just stared down at the steps leading into the darkness. "You go first," Clyde said.

Butters flinched. "W-Well okay…" He shifted his feet nervously before taking the first step.

Fearfully, the two boys made their way down the steps until they reached a large wooden dungeon-style door that was braced with studded iron. "Maybe we should've worn our costumes," Clyde remarked.

Butters pushed the door open; it led to a very large room that was lit an eerie green color by the wall-mounted candelabras whose candle flames were the same color. The candelabras were black and resembled deer skulls with antlers holding the candles. The center of the room was lined with rows of shelves like a library, but instead of books the shelves held glass cages, each with a single rat living inside.

"Spooky," Clyde said.

"That's a lot of rats," Butters said, entering the room. He stopped by one of the candelabras to get another look at the list and didn't notice the flames waver above him as he approached. "We just gotta make sure they all look okay and have food and water left. It says 'Do NOT take any of the rats out of their cages!' Well, okay then." He glanced up at the candelabra. "Huh, do deer have big fangs like that?"

Clyde wasn't listening. He was too busy walking down the rows and looking at the rats. Each one was different from the last in some way. Most of them looked like normal rats, but there were a few that had something about them that was odd. He stopped to get a closer look at a large black rat with red eyes and sharp fangs like a cat's protruding from its mouth. "Why do you think she has so many rats? Experiments?"

"I don't know," Butters started walking down the rows to check the rats' supplies. "Brooke likes animals. I don't think she'd do that. Oh look, this one is naked!"

"They all look fine… I think."

"Yeah," Butters agreed. "They still have at least half their food and water, too. Okay. Next are her fish. They're in the next room."

They walked around the room towards another door in the opposite corner, which led them into a dark room with nowhere to stand besides the space in front of the door and a space in front of a door on the other end. The majority of the floor was a large rectangular pool of water from which the only light sources were, and were reflecting blue caustics along the ceiling and walls.

"Well this room is pretty," Butters remarked.

"Uh," Clyde peered over the edge at the fish swimming around. "What kind of fish are those?"

The blue water was teeming with fat round fish, bluish-gray in color with red and orange underbellies and sides speckled with gold. Their faces were short and round and their bottom lips were curled up.

"I don't know." Butters looked at the list. "Doesn't say." He skimmed over it then located a mini fridge in the corner. He opened it to find it filled with frozen pieces of meat and chicken. "The list says to just throw a chunk of meat and some chicken in."

They pulled the frozen items from the fridge and turned to find that all of the fish had gathered near the edge of the pool to watch. The two exchanged looks with each other, then Clyde tossed a frozen chicken leg into the water. They shouted a little as the fish suddenly went into a frenzy and striped the meat from the bone in mere seconds before gathering back at the edge to wait for more.

"Are those piranhas!?" Clyde squeaked.

"I think they want more," Butters said and tossed the meat in.

Clyde threw the rest of the chicken in, and while the fish were distracted, the boys hurried back into the previous room. "What do you think was behind that other door?" Clyde asked.

"I don't know, but I'm not going find out. Come on, we still gotta feed the animals in the house."

"What's left?" He asked as he followed Butters out.

"A kitten, another snake, and two tarantulas. Oh, and a toad. It says not to let the kitty outside." They entered the house and a small black kitten ran up to them, mewling loudly. "Daww, you're a nice kitty." Butters scooped the kitten up.

After checking on the kitten's feeder and waterer, they headed upstairs to Brooke's room where the last of the animals were located. While Butters hesitantly fed the large python in the corner, Clyde started snooping around the room and the dresser.

"W-What are you doing?" Butters asked as he moved on to feed the toad on the desk.

"Nothing. Just looking."

"Wha- I – I don't think you should be going through her stuff like that."

"Does the list say NOT to?"

Butters glanced at the paper. "W-Well…n-no. But I don't think it's a good idea! We're just supposed to feed the animals."

Clyde rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine. Whatever." He went into the closet and grabbed a jar of live crickets then opened the top of the brown tarantula's cage and tossed a few in. The spider immediately struck and grabbed hold of one of the insects. "Cool." He closed the top and turned to the black and orange tarantula's cage.

Butters was skimming over the rest of the list. "That one's name is Claudia. Oh. Wait, Clyde. It says not to open the top more than an inch. Claudia is –"

He was interrupted by Clyde's screaming. The moment he had opened the top wide enough, the spider had sprung from the cage and latched onto the boy's shirt. Startled, he stumbled backwards out of the closet and fell to the floor, and the spider speedily took off out the room.

"Oh no!" Butters gasped and ran out of the room, but the spider was already gone. "Oh no, we gotta find her! Clyde, get up! I'll look up here. You check downstairs!"

Clyde shakily got to his feet and left the room. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, spotting the tarantula as it climbed up the front door and slipped through the mail slot. "Uh… Butters! She got out!"

"Huh?!" Butters ran down the stairs to join him. "What do you mean!?"

He pointed at the mail slot. "She went through the mail thing on the door."

"Oh, HAMBURGERS! We have to get her back before something happens to her! Brooke will be FURIOUS!"

.

"You know," Brooke said as they sat on an old dock tossing bread to the alligators swimming in the water below. "I don't know why, but I feel like something bad is going to happen."

"Aw man," Kenny said. "Am I going to die today?"

"No, no. It's…something else. Something…I can't quite put my finger on…"

.

A middle-aged man was driving on his way to work, contentedly humming along to the catchy pop song playing on the radio, when a large hairy spider suddenly landed on his windshield. Startled and panicking, he screamed and accidentally jerked the steering wheel, causing the car to lose control, knock a fire hydrant out of the ground, and crash head-first into the large glass window of a clothing store.

Butters and Clyde had been following a trail of devastation through South Park that was somehow left behind by Brooke's spider. Not even sure of how close they were to the creature until they reached the main shopping street and found a geyser of water spouting from the sidewalk where a hydrant used to be. Nearby was a car crashed into a now shattered window, blood splattered inside the windshield, and a fire suddenly erupted in the store. Something leapt from the flaming store, landing on top of the wrecked car and raising its front limbs to bare its fangs at the world.

"There she is!" Clyde pointed and the spider jumped down from the car and took off again. "After her!"

"Wha- Claudia! Wait up!" Butters called as they chased after the spider.

They chased the, remarkably, speedy tarantula across half of South Park before finally managing to corner her by Stark's Pond where the spider had come to an abrupt stop upon realizing that a large body of water was barring her way. She turned in place to face the two boys. They were leaning forward with their hands on their knees, trying to catch their breath.

"Okay…" Clyde huffed between breaths. "Nowhere – to go – now – Claudia! Give up!"

The spider threw its front limbs up in a warning and bared its fangs menacingly at them, daring them to come closer.

"Oh – jeez," Butters huffed. "Claudia's – really fast. How are we – gonna get her? She looks like she wants to bite us."

As they took a step closer, the spider flinched at them, causing them to jump back a little. Claudia was positioning herself to lunge, but when she did, she smacked harmlessly into an invisible barrier. She began tapping her front limbs all along it, trying to figure out what it was.

A boy with messy, sideswept sandy-colored hair and green eyes had placed a glass mason jar over the spider while it was distracted by Clyde and Butters. He casually scooped the lid under it and lifted it from the ground with the spider trapped inside. "Is this YOURS?" He eyed the other two boys with a look of mingled curiosity and annoyance.

"Oh," Butters stood up straight. "W-Well actually, she belongs to our friend."

"How did you do that?" Clyde asked.

The boy gave him an odd look. "Are you guys stupid or something? It's a spider, not a bear."

"Well, she acts like a bear!" Clyde said defensively. "Who the heck are YOU, anyway?"

"Riley," he told him. Clyde made to go over and take the jar, but Riley held it away from him. "What makes you think that I'm going to give it back?"

"What?!"

"You're obviously too stupid to look after it. Who does it belong to?"

Clyde was pissed off. "None of your business! Give her back!"

"Make me."

Clyde froze, stunned. He was angry, but something about this kid frightened him.

"That's what I thought."

"Please, Riley," Butters pleaded. "That's our friend Brooke's spider. We're supposed to look after her pets while she's on vacation for the week, but Clyde accidentally let the spider out. B-But it was my fault! I – I didn't read the note she left all the way before he opened the cage! See, she left me a list on how to take care of all the animals, b-but I was just reading it as we went. I shoulda just read the whole thing, but I didn't, so it's my fault and –"

"All right, shut up already!" He held the jar out to Butters. "Just take it and get lost."

"O-Oh, thanks!" Relieved, he happily took the jarred spider from him. "Let's get you back home, you silly spider," he lightly tapped on the glass. Defeated, Claudia lowered her fangs and front limbs and relaxed.

"What a jerk," Clyde muttered as they walked away.

**To be continued...**

* * *

**Claudia is remarkably quick...and intelligent. Brooke and Lucy have so many secrets.**


	14. Chapter 14: Riley

**I have a couple chapters done, but I'm trying to space them out a bit between uploads. So, this is one of those chapters with more descriptive paragraphs like I mentioned. It is equally as important as dialogue. Stuff starts to get a little heavy now, too. Just a little...**

* * *

It was the weekend when they returned home, and since everything seemed fine, Brooke had not bothered to ask Butters or Clyde about the animals until Monday, when she saw them at school. "So," she asked them in the hall before class. "How did it go?"

"Oh, it went great! Er, well, until Clyde let Claudia out, that is…"

"…What?"

"Yeah… B-But it was my fault! I didn't read the list all the way before he opened the cage!"

"Yeah, it was Butters' fault!" Clyde tried to defend himself.

"But…Claudia got out?"

"Well, yeah. But we got her back!" Butters assured her.

"I know. I saw her. But… _Claudia _got out?"

"Yeah, it was a disaster! She made people wreck their cars, knock out fire hydrants, crash into stores, and – and somehow, she started a bunch of fires! And she was SUPER fast, too!"

"Holy shit," Kyle said. "A spider did all of THAT?"

"Bullshit," Stan said.

"No, it's true!" Butters said. "They just finished fixing the big window at the clothes store!"

"Yeah, it really happened," Clyde added.

"I believe you," Brooke told them. "The only thing I don't believe, is that the two of you were able to catch her after."

"Oh," Butters said. "Well that's thanks to that new kid, Riley. He trapped her in a jar while she was trying to kill us by the pond."

"New kid?" Stan repeated.

"Oh," Lucy interjected. "There's a boy with that name in my class, but I find it hard to imagine that he helped you. The Riley in my class has a bit of a…reputation."

"What kind of reputation?" Kyle asked.

"A very negative one."

"Yeah, he was a dick," Clyde said.

"I don't know," Butters mused. "He didn't seem so bad."

During recess, the group had gathered by the merry-go-round where Brooke was sitting and working on her homework while Cartman sat near her, yelling at Darren and Kenny to spin the merry-go-round faster.

"We're trying!" Darren gritted his teeth. "You're too fat!"

"I'M NOT FAT, DAMNIT!"

"Why are you doing your homework now?" Kyle asked as Brooke slowly passed where he was standing.

"Because I don't want to do it when I get home. I have more important things to do."

"Like what?"

"Like, not homework, that's what."

Butters watched for a few minutes before he happened to glance over and spot someone standing alone in the shadow of the school building. It was that sandy-haired boy, Riley; he was wearing a forest green long-sleeve shirt and dark jeans with tears in them, most notably around the knees. He was leaning back against the wall with a lit cigarette in hand which he would take long slow drags from.

"Hey," Butters said suddenly. "That's that boy who caught Claudia. That's Riley!"

The others stopped what they were doing to look. "You mean that kid standing by himself next to the school, smoking a cigarette?" Darren asked.

"Yeah!"

"Oh, yes," Lucy nodded a little. "Yes, that's the boy from my class."

"Hey, Butters," Cartman smirked. "I'll give you ten bucks to go over there and smack that cigarette out of his hands and tell him smoking is bad."

"I'm not gonna do that!"

"Pfft, fine. Hey, Darren."

"No way, man. I'm not THAT poor!"

"…Kennyyyy"

It was Brooke who retaliated this time. "Stop trying to bribe people to do rude things! You're just trying to get them in trouble or hurt!"

He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Well, excuuuuse me! Didn't mean to insult you over your boyfriend!"

"H-He's not my boyfriend! And I'm not insulted!"

"But I thought the two of you _were _friends?"

"Lucy! That's not what he means!"

"Listen, Butters," Cartman said. "I'm serious. I've got ten bucks in my pocket right now, and it's yours if you go over there and talk to him."

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Lucy said. "Riley avoids other people, and every time someone approaches him or tries to speak with him, he becomes very aggressive. He's already threatened most of the kids in our class, and the others have decided to keep away from him because of it. He's not very kind, even to adults. Also," she turned to Kyle, who happened to be standing near her. "Are children allowed to smoke here?"

He took a step away, suddenly feeling nervous with her looking at him. "N-No. Pretty sure it's totally illegal, too."

"Go on, Butters," Cartman made a shooing motion with his hand. "Go thank him for catching the spider."

"Oh yeah… W-Well okay…"

"Oh my god, he's actually going." Darren said.

"Well," Stan sighed. "It was nice knowing him."

Riley had managed to quickly build himself a reputation in the short time he had been attending South Park Elementary, and it was this reputation that kept others away from him so that he could safely hide behind metaphorical walls. So, of course, he was absolutely amazed when he noticed another boy his age approaching him.

"H-Hi there, Riley!" Butters smiled nervously.

Riley stared at him for a moment, almost as if he didn't recognize him, then blinked out of his surprise. "Oh, it's _you_," he said it scathingly, but, oddly enough, there was a peculiar charm about it. "What the fuck do YOU want?" The charm was gone.

"Oh, well, uh, I – I just, you know, wanted to thank you. You know, for helping us catch Claudia – the spider."

"You already did," he said flatly.

"I…did. Oh yeah, I did."

There was an awkward moment of silence between them. Forgetting about his cigarette, Riley moved himself so that he was directly facing Butters, but he suddenly felt a little on edge. "What do you want?" he asked.

"You know, just to talk."

Riley flinched a tiny bit.

"I mean, I noticed that you're over here all alone, and I thought that maybe you could use a friend to –"

"I don't need friends," he interrupted him. He was getting annoyed now.

"Wha- Well sure you do! Everybody needs a friend. Wait, so you… you don't have any friends? Like, at all?"

"No."

"Aw, well that's okay. I'll be your friend!"

He flinched again. "You what? No," he turned away from him.

"Sure I will!"

He suddenly grabbed Butters by the front of his shirt and lifted him a few inches from the ground. "I said, NO! I don't need friends," he hissed through clenched teeth at the frightened boy then roughly threw him to the ground. "Now get lost!"

The group watched as Butters ran off, screaming. They didn't have a clue as to anything that was said between the two boys, but it didn't seem to have gone too well. "Huh," Brooke said. "Riley looked super confused at first."

"Yeah," Darren agreed. "But then he looked super mad. I wonder what Butters said to him?"

She shrugged. "At least he didn't hurt Butters."

"Damnit," Cartman muttered.

.

The next morning at school, Riley was even more surprised when he closed his locker and turned away from it to find Butters standing just a couple of feet away from him. "What the -? I thought I told you to get lost!"

"Yeah, but I was thinking that maybe we just got off on the wrong foot," Butters nervously twiddled his thumbs. "So, I wanted to apologize if I made you mad or anything."

"Wha-" Riley shifted his feet, feeling like he might suddenly lose his balance. Was this kid serious? "What the fuck do you want NOW?"

"I told you… Well, I – Iwanttobeyourfriend!" he shut his eyes tightly and braced himself.

Riley blinked at him. He had said it so fast, that he wasn't entirely sure of what he had said. "What?"

Butters flickered his eyes open. That strange little charm was back in the other boy's voice. "Oh, I… I said I want to be your friend. H-Here you go." He held out a scrap of paper to him.

Riley was dumbfounded. "What's that?"

"It's my phone number."

Completely flabbergasted, Riley just stared at him and didn't say anything. He didn't even move.

"I guess you need some time to think about it." Butters cautiously moved forward and placed the piece of paper in Riley's hand.

Riley had stepped away from him as he approached. He winced and made a strange, very quiet sound as Butters grabbed his hand and placed the scrap of paper in it before hurrying away to class. Throughout the entirety of class, Riley sat staring at this little scrap of paper on his desk, his elbow on the desktop and hand holding his cheek as he lightly tapped on the desk with the index finger of his free hand. He couldn't figure out what was going on. What kind of shit was this kid pulling? On one hand, he was tempted to test the phone number with a text message, but on the other, he felt like it was some kind of joke. "Aw shit," he accidentally said aloud.

"Riley!" the teacher turned from her chalkboard and placed her hands on her hips.

"Oh!" He jumped. "Uh, hmm…"

Once the bell for recess had gone off, he went back to his usual spot in the yard, in the shade of the building away from everyone else. He sat down and leaned back against the brick wall, lit a cigarette and took a long puff of it, releasing the smoke with a sigh. The wall blocked a lot of the noise from the other children, so he found it much more peaceful there than anywhere else in the yard. Normally, he could spend the whole recess there alone with no one to bother him… Until now.

He jumped a little with surprise as someone sat down beside him. He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice the boy until then. "Oh, it's you again." He relaxed a tiny bit and took another puff.

"Hi," Butters smiled. "I didn't see you at lunch, but I figured that you'd probably be here again."

"I guess I'll have to find a new hiding spot then." He turned and purposefully blew the smoke into the other kid's face. "Considering you won't leave me alone. Who the hell are you, anyway?"

Butters coughed, his eyes watering from the stinging smoke. "Oh – I – thought you knew. Sorry. I'm Butters."

He snorted. "Pfft. What? Your name is _Butters_?"

"Well, it's actually a nickname. It's what everyone calls me."

"And you let them? What's your REAL name?"

"Oh, it's Leopold."

"That's the stupidest name I've ever heard. No wonder everyone calls you Butters instead."

"Yeah, I guess it IS pretty stupid."

Riley gave him an odd look. "What do you want, _Butters_?"

"Wh- Well I just wanted to see if you wanna come play with us?"

"No."

"Oh… Well, that's okay. We can hang out here instead, just the two of us. You must really like this spot."

"I did…" He tossed the cigarette away, sighing out the last breath of smoke, then leaned his head back to watch the sky.

Feeling a lot less nervous now, Butters leaned back against the wall as well. Despite what he had heard about this kid, it didn't really seem like Riley wanted to hurt him, except for that first attempt yesterday… But even then, all Riley did was scare him off with words and attitude. He never actually raised a fist at him.

"I like your hair," Butters said suddenly. "How'd you get it like that?"

"I didn't brush it today." He realized that Butters was watching him. For a minute he thought it was because the kid was nervous or something, but now he realized that he was watching him with more curiosity than anything else. He blushed a little out of embarrassment and huffed. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Am I? I-I'm sorry." He looked away. "You just looked kind of sad…"

"I –" Riley winced then said quietly, "I'm fine."

"Well, that's good. Hey! Why don't you come over to my house after school today?"

"Huh?"

"Yeah! We can do activities in my room!"

He tensed. "W-What? With YOU?"

"Yeah!"

"Err, well… Sure, I guess. It's been a while, though…"

"Really? Boy then, we'll have lots of fun!"

Riley ran his fingers through his hair, trying not to look at him. "Is that what you wanted this whole time? Why didn't you just say so?"

"I thought it was implied. Oh well, I'll meet you after school and we can go to my house."

"Um, okay…" He was shocked when Butters suddenly cheered and ran off. "Wha- What the heck?"

.

"Valentine's Day is next week," Brooke said. She was playing in the snow beside the merry-go-round and forming it into the shape of a turtle.

"Ugh," Darren rolled his eyes. "Why'd you have to remind me?"

She shrugged, picking up a small stick and using it to draw lines in the snow turtle's shell. "I just remembered seeing it on the calendar this morning."

"What is Valentine's Day?" Lucy asked, earning her odd looks from everyone except Brooke.

"You don't know about Valentine's Day?" Stan asked.

"Should I?"

"We don't celebrate that holiday in the Nether," Brooke told Kenny, the only one that had any vague clue about her and Lucy's origins. She spoke up to address Lucy. "It's a holiday they celebrate here where people give out cards and gifts to others. Usually anonymously to someone they're attracted to… But schools usually let kids bring cards and candy for everyone."

"Interesting," Lucy mused.

"Dang," Stan said. "Does Louisiana really not know about Valentine's Day?"

"Of course we do," Darren told him. "Brooke and Lucy aren't originally from Louisiana. Actually…where ARE you two from?"

"Nunya business, boy!" Brooke hit his knee with the stick.

"Ow!"

"I heard they're doing a fireworks show at the pond this year," Kyle said.

"I hate fireworks," Brooke muttered and went back to her snow turtle.

"I thought you liked fire?" Darren asked, preparing himself to dodge in case she tried to hit him again.

"Fire, not fireworks. They're too loud when I'm trying to sleep. I love sleep."

"There's a full moon next week, as well." Lucy remarked.

"Yeah," Brooke said. "It's on the same day."

"I see…"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Stan asked.

"Nothing," Lucy said serenely. "The full moon is…very pretty, isn't it?"

Kyle was staring at her as if in a trance again. "Yeah, you are – RIGHT! You're right! It is!"

Darren snorted. "Heh, nice save."

"Shut up," he muttered angrily.

.

Once the final bell of school had finally gone off, Riley hung back and took his time while all of the other kids excitedly rushed out of the building. Unlike them, he was in no rush to go home. As he stepped outside, he suddenly remembered that he was supposed to meet up with that boy called Butters. He had taken so long to even exit the building that he figured the kid must've gotten tired of waiting and left, but as he walked down the front steps, he noticed the boy waiting for him by the sidewalk.

"There you are!" Butters smiled at him. "Ready to go?"

"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

"So," Butters said as they started walking. "Where do you live?"

"On the edge of town. Down Locke Boulevard."

"Really? I've never been there. My parents won't let."

"That's probably for the best."

"They told me it's a bad neighborhood. Is that true?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. It's pretty shitty."

He didn't say anything else the rest of the way, only humming or grunting responses every now and then as Butters talked. Normally it would have annoyed him, but he kind of liked how cheerful the other boy was. Once they had arrived and gone inside, he was a little surprised to encounter a man and woman sitting on the couch. "Your parents are home."

"Butters," the man looked over at them. "Who is this?"

"This is my new friend, Riley," he replied cheerily.

"Oh," the woman said. "Butters, I'm so glad that you're able to make friends."

"We're gonna go do stuff in my room!"

"All right," his dad said. "But you two better behave yourselves."

Riley followed him up the stairs. "Your parents seem like assholes," he muttered as they stopped by a door.

"Really? I think they just want what's best for me." He opened the door to his room and waited for Riley to come in before closing it. "Welcome to my room!"

"You have a lot of toys," Riley remarked. He glanced briefly around the room before spotting a hamster cage on the dresser and going over to look at the little animals.

"Oh, those are my minions," Butters said. "They're off duty, so they're not in uniform right now."

"Right." He sighed and turned back to him. "Let's just get this over with. What exactly do you want to do?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"What?"

"We could do arts and crafts, or play a board game, or a video game."

"Um… I…don't know."

"Oh, is that too much? Okay, how about we just do arts and crafts?" He went over to a drawer and started taking out boxes of crayons and markers. "What kind of art do you like to do?"

Riley was still a little lost. "I… I like to draw."

"Really? Me too! I drew this one yesterday." He showed him a paper where he had drawn a forest with animals.

Riley stared at it for a moment. "It's…not that bad, actually. Except that," he pointed at one of the animals. "What is that?"

"Oh, that's supposed to be a beaver. Not my best work…"

"It looks like a messed-up dog."

"Yeah… Here," he handed Riley a blank paper. "You draw something."

"Like what?"

"Whatever you want. Hey, why don't YOU draw a beaver? You can show me how!"

"All right." He sat down at a small table off to the side while Butters went over to the hamster cage.

"My minions are low on food," Butters said aloud. He reached down and picked up a bag of hamster food, holding it up dramatically. "Do not fear, minions! I have sustenance!" He then proceeded to hum peacefully to himself as he replenished their food dish.

"You're weird," Riley told him after as he joined him at the table. "Do you always talk to yourself?"

"What do you mean? I was talking to my minions."

"Why do you call them that?"

"That, my good friend, is a secret for another day," he seemed to be trying to act menacingly. He was a little surprised when Riley smiled.

"Yeah, okay, weirdo."

They spent most of the afternoon drawing and coloring pictures with Butters being amazed at how talented Riley was, and Riley clearly not understanding his excitement over it. At some point, they had ended up playing a game of checkers until a hamster in a ball rolled over the board and pushed the pieces around, causing them to lose track of what piece was where. Later, as Riley made to leave, Butters' parents had insisted upon him staying for dinner. He was going to refuse, but changed his mind after noticing Butters' hopeful expression.

"Fine," he said. "But I can't be too late tonight."

"Mom made spaghetti," Butters said. "What's your favorite food, Riley?"

He joined them at the table. "Um, I don't know. I don't really have one." He thought about it for a moment. "I really like cupcakes though."

"There's this bakery in the next town over that makes really good cupcakes! You should try it sometime."

"Maybe."

"Are you going to need a ride home?" Butters' dad asked him.

"No. I'll walk."

"You sure? Where do you live?"

"It's not far," he lied. "I'll be fine. Um…thanks."

After dinner, Butters had followed him outside. "Are you sure you don't need a ride?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Well, okay… See you tomorrow!"

He stopped to look back at him. He smiled softly and spoke with that little charm in his voice again, "Yeah. See you."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Such a... CUUUUUTE! Lol, seriously though. Riley was expecting something much less enjoyable. ... Give him a break, he's been through a lot of shit, you'll see.**


	15. Chapter 15: The Rat Queen

**So, this one is just a random one. The beginning is somewhat important, but the rest is just some bullshit. Lol**

* * *

Brooke had been sitting on her bed and reading through a few pages of the big book her father had sent her when she noticed something in the corner of her eye through the window. She stopped to look up and stared out the window for a long moment, narrowing her eyes as she tried to figure out what had just moved.

"What are you doing?" Kenny asked. He had accompanied her home after school that day and was using a feather teaser to play with the kitten in her room.

She had gotten up and opened the window, poking her head out to look around. "Get in here, right now!"

"Huh?" He was going to ask who she was talking to when there was a little burst of flames and sparks behind him, and he turned to find a green and red feathered reptile standing there. "What the fuck?!"

The creature stood on its haunches and was about half the height of the children. It looked kind of like a little dragon but covered in green feathers with slightly longer red feathers down its head and spine where yellowed spikes poked out as well. It even had clawed, feathered wings that it held folded neatly behind itself. It nodded briefly to Kenny then turned to Brooke and bowed lowly. "Greetings, Princess."

"Spike," Brooke closed the window and hopped down from her bed. "What are you doing sneaking around like that? Were you spying on me?"

"Forgive me," he stood upright again. "The head of the Council wished for me to check up on you and make sure that you were not getting into too much trouble here." He shot a quick glance at Kenny. "You have been letting things slip, Princess."

"You tell that old bat to mind his own business!"

"But this IS his business, Princess. Remember, it is all for your own safety."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She rolled her eyes.

Kenny scrambled up from the floor. He had been sitting there staring at the creature the whole time until he finally processed what they were saying. "Wait, so you really ARE a princess?!"

Spike clicked his tongue. "My, my… I assumed that you felt comfortable summoning me in front of this boy because he knew. You shouldn't have done that." He shook his head. "My, pretty soon the guards will have to come…"

"It's fine," she told him. "Kenny won't tell anyone. Will you?"

He blinked, still trying to process everything. "Right. But, uh, what, uh, WHO is that?"

"This is Spike," she replied. "He's a servant from the Nether Kingdom. Which, uh, yes, I am the princess of…"

"What – the – fuck?"

"How vulgar," Spike remarked, but he didn't actually look offended. "Princess, the Council decided to have Lucy stay with you in hopes that she would have a positive effect on you. She IS the royal advisor after all, and your time here in this realm seems to have had a…negative effect. Now, since you've come to this place, have you had any…_outbursts_?"

"No. Not yet…"

"Think positive," he told her. "And remember, an outburst like last time could result in the Nightmares finding you this time."

"The what?" Kenny asked.

"Sorry," Spike bowed again. "Princess, if you will dismiss me, I must be getting back to Quinzel."

"Fine. But don't act all sneaky around me anymore!"

He bowed once more and vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Dude," Kenny said after he had left. "I have so many questions. First, what the HELL are the Nightmares?"

"Next question."

"What?"

"Next!"

**…**

"So, yeah," Clyde was telling the other boys at lunchtime, "she's got this big green room under the shed FILLED with rats!"

"Like, just running around?" Stan asked.

"No, no. They're all in cages, lined up on all these shelves like a scientist's lab or something."

Cartman dropped his fork. "Would you say it's like…a library?"

"Yeah! But rats instead of books. It was weird, but kinda cool, too. Then, there was a room with a bunch of piranhas! There was a door on the other side, but you know…piranhas."

"I see…" Cartman said quietly to himself. At recess, he pulled Darren to the side to talk to him. "Douchebag."

"Stop calling me that!"

"You know Brooke pretty well, right?"

"Huh? Uh, well I THOUGHT I did, but recent events have proven otherwise…" he eyed Cartman suspiciously. "Why?"

"Has she been displaying any…odd behavior recently?"

Darren remembered the ritual that took place in her room and the corpse of Kenny being devoured by a horde of rats, then the talking toad. But then he also remembered the warning she had given him about mentioning it any further. "Uh… I – I don't know… Have you?"

"Maybe," Cartman tapped his chin in thought. "Do you know anything about that rat room Clyde was talking about?"

"No," he said truthfully. "I knew she had pet rats, but I didn't know about THAT. You actually believe CLYDE?"

"Not sure yet. I'll believe it when I see it." He walked away.

"Wait, what does that mean?" Darren called. "Hey, are you – Aw, never mind. I don't care."

The rest of school that day, Cartman had sat silently at his desk, scheming of ways to get into the trapdoor Clyde had told him about. Luckily for him, Brooke had mentioned going over to Kenny's house after school. After making sure that they were indeed passing up her house, he hurried over to the front door and went inside where he encountered Brooke's mother.

"Oh, hello Eric," she said.

"Oh! Um, h-hi."

"Sorry, Brooke's not here right now. She said that she was going over to Kenny's today."

"Right," he tried not to look suspicious. "I – I know. She, uh, wanted me to get something for her. Out of her room. Yeah."

"Okay." She said and flipped the channel on the television.

He walked past her as casually as he could then sprinted up the stairs and into Brooke's room. "Gotta be a key somewhere in here," he mumbled and started rummaging through drawers and under papers. On one hand, he was glad that her room was a bit messy because it would better cover his trail, on the other, he had no idea where she kept anything in this organized chaos. He got down on his hands and knees and reached under the bed, shouting with pain and retracting his hand to find a lobster latching onto his finger with one of its claws. "What the hell?!" Tears welled in his eyes from the pain as he tried to pull his finger free.

"Eric?"

He jumped and turned to see Lucy standing in the doorway. "L-Lucy!" He tried hiding the latched lobster behind his back, but it used its free claw to nip the fat around his waist and made him shout again. "Get it off!"

"Oh dear." She grabbed the crustacean and lightly stroked its underside, causing it to release its hold on Cartman's finger. "What are you doing in here?"

He breathed out deeply, relieved. "Uh, I was – Brooke told me to get something for her and…uh…"

Lucy tilted her head to the side. "Did she?"

"Uh, yeah, uh…"

She carefully ran her fingers down the back of the lobster. "If you tell me the truth, I might be able to help."

He blinked at her. "Uh, I…wanted to find the keys to the trapdoor."

"You want to see the rat room?"

"Yes. How'd you know?"

"Well, I'm not sure what else you'd want down there. I have the keys in the shed." She placed the lobster down and made her way to the door. "I'll show you if you'd like."

"Oh!" He followed her, sending a hate-filled glare at the lobster as he passed it.

Lucy unlocked the trapdoor and lifted it open, then led the way down the dark steps with Cartman just behind her. She pushed open the enforced wooden door at the bottom and allowed him to enter the green candle-lit room.

He stepped into the room and stared around at it, open-mouthed. "It's true," he whispered then turned to Lucy. "Why does she have all of this?"

She tilted her head. "She's quite fond of the little creatures."

"Are they her servants?"

"Pardon? No, I believe she just collects them as a hobby. She's named them all, too."

"How many are there?"

"Counting Snatch? Three hundred and forty-two."

"My god," he turned back to the room. "And the next room?"

"Oh," she walked him over to the next door and opened it. "The piranha pool."

He stepped inside and leaned over to look at the fish swimming around. He watched them for a minute then looked up at the door far on the other side. "What's behind THAT door?"

"Oh," she said. "Just an empty room. Nothing to be concerned with."

"Hmm…" He narrowed his eyes.

.

The next morning at school, Cartman had cornered Darren to tell him about what he had seen. "The artifact MUST be on the other side of that door! Why else would it be so heavily protected?"

"A pool of piranhas doesn't sound like heavy protection," Darren yawned. "What are you talking about, anyway? What artifact?"

"I'm talking about the Rat Queen and her artifact of doom!" He pulled out a comic book to show him. "It's just like in the books! She's the Rat Queen and she's planning to use the artifact to destroy human kind for her rat minions and Jews!"

Darren skimmed through a few of the pages depicting a bizarre story plot featuring super heroes and villains. "That's stupid. Brooke's weird and kind of scary but she's not evil. Wait… Did you say something about Jews?"

"You're right, I need more evidence!" He ran off down the hall, almost knocking a kid over.

.

The class had to do research work in the library that day, and Brooke was sitting at a table with Kyle helping her when Cartman suddenly went over and sat across from her. "Brooke," he said. "How are you?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing much." He pulled out a stack of large white cards. "I just wanted to get your opinion on a few images. Oh, Kyle…you're here, too. Well, I guess you can participate, too. Now, Brooke, I'm going to show you the pictures on these cards one at a time. Just…tell me your thoughts on them."

"Okay?" She sat up straight while Kyle glared at Cartman.

He flipped over the first card, which depicted a large star.

She stared at it for a moment then blinked. "It's…the Star of David?"

"Yes," he said, "and what are your thoughts on 'the Star of David'?"

"It's…a Jewish symbol?"

"Hm, yes." He flipped over another card, which was an old black and white photograph of a detention camp. "What about this one?"

"Is that Auschwitz?"

Kyle let out an annoyed sound and rolled his eyes.

Cartman eyed him for a second then returned his attention back to Brooke. "Yes. Now, would you say the things that happened in such places were great? Or bad?"

"Are you kidding?" she said. "It was awful."

"And what are your thoughts on Hitler?"

"He was a crazy asshole who used religion to justify his immoral and sadistic ideals of humanity."

"I see."

"And a coward," she added. "He didn't want to face his crimes, so he killed himself before they could get him."

"All right, I get it," Cartman almost sounded offended. "I believe I have what I need now. Thank you." He got up and walked away.

"What was that about?"

Kyle rolled his eyes again. "He's up to something stupid again, I just KNOW it!"

She shrugged and pulled her book closer. "Eh, whatever. Let's just get our work done before class ends."

"I don't think we'll be able to after that," Kyle turned his attention back to the book as well. "We'll probably have to rent the book and finish at home. We can go to your house after school and finish."

"Yeah," she said casually. "Okay."

.

Once again, Cartman had managed to trap Darren into listening to his 'discoveries.' And now, Darren was standing in Cartman's room after the other boy had basically dragged him to his house, and staring perplexedly at a whiteboard that Cartman had drawn many circles and arrows on. He was using a pole to point at different parts of the board as he explained his 'findings' to Darren then slapped the tip of the pole on a terribly drawn Jewish star that had been circled frantically several times over with red marker.

"She's Jewish!"

Darren stared at the board for a few moments longer before blinking slowly. "…What?"

"Not just Jewish though! She's the ultimate Jew." He pointed to a cross. "She's – Jesus."

"…What?"

"It's the only explanation! It all makes sense!"

"Um, no, it doesn't."

"It does! That's why she always gets mad when I call Kyle a filthy stinking Jew!"

"No, I'm pretty sure she gets mad about it because she hates racism. And because he's her friend. Also, NONE of this makes ANY sense!" He flailed his arms around in a gesture at the board. "How did you even come up with that conclusion?!"

"I already explained it to you!"

"But it doesn't make sense! And why are you telling ME?!"

"Well, Butters has been too busy hanging out with that Riley guy, and you're the only other person who sits still long enough to listen." He turned back to the board. "Now I just have to convince her NOT to destroy humanity."

"I'm going home," Darren walked out of the room. "You're ridiculous."

The next morning, at the bus stop, Cartman shifted over to stand next to Brooke, who gave him a look of mingled confusion and annoyance. "I know your secret," he said quietly to her.

She tensed a moment then slowly turned to look at Kenny. "_Do _you?"

Kenny raised his hands in a gesture of innocence, shaking his head to say that he had nothing to do with it.

"Hm," she turned back to Cartman and eyed him for a moment. "Okay. _What _secret?"

"I know about the rats."

"That's not really a secret."

"And I know what's behind the door on the other side of the piranha room!"

She seemed unconcerned. "Okay."

"I won't allow you to use your artifact of doom and destroy the human race for your rats and Jews, Jesus!"

"What are you talking abou- What did you just call me?"

"That's right! I know who you REALLY are! Jesus!"

"Bitch, do I LOOK like Jesus!?"

"You're using your Jewish black magic to disguise yourself! But you can't fool ME! I won't let you destroy humanity!"

"Oh brother," Stan rolled his eyes.

"I KNEW it!" Kyle stamped his foot.

Darren sighed. "It's too early for this…"

Brooke exchanged a glance with Lucy, who only shrugged, then turned back to Cartman and smirked. "Oh yeah? How do you plan on stopping me?"

"Brooke," Darren said. "Please don't encourage his negative behavior."

"What do you mean?" Cartman asked her.

"Well," she sighed dreamily. "I mean, I've already got my rat army standing by. I even have a navy; you saw it all yourself. All I have to do now is use the artifact."

"No! You can't!"

"But I CAN! And you can't stop me, because I've already activated it! Unless…"

"Unless? Unless what – WHAT?!"

Lucy and the boys eyed her curiously.

"Unless you manage to find which rat cage the _deactivator _is in. But it's tiny, oval, and black, much like their poop. So, you'd have to go through every cage, clean out ALL of the poop and check every. Single. One. But you'll never find it."

"Just watch me!" He ran away, back towards their homes.

"Keys are hanging in the shed!" she called.

"Dude," Kyle said. "Did you just somehow convince Cartman to clean your rat cages?"

"All three hundred and forty-two. Yup," she placed her hands in her jacket pockets and let out a contented sigh. "He won't find anything but poop, so he'll be doing that for a few days." She sighed again. "Ah, blissful peace."

**To be continued…**

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**I told you, random bullshit, or rather, rat shit. Why was there a lobster under Brooke's bed? The world may never know...**


	16. Chapter 16: Best Friend

**I forgot what chapter this is. Hold on, let me read it... Ohhh, I remember now. This is one of those darker ones. There's some gay shit too, lol**

* * *

"What are you guys doing after school today?" Stan asked everyone at recess.

"I'm going to Brooke's house," Kenny said.

"Oh," she eyed him from her place on the merry-go-round. "Thanks for letting me know," she said sarcastically.

Lucy was writing something in a small purple notebook. "I have tests that I need to conclude today."

"Tests?" Darren asked. "What kind of tests?"

"Oh, never mind that," she said in her serene voice. "Oh dear, my pen seems to have run dry." She clicked the pen closed and placed it in her pocket.

"Here," Darren offered her a thick, fancy-looking pen with a cap. "I found that on the kitchen table. It's probably my sister Sadie's but whatever."

"Thank you." She lightly touched the pen and immediately retracted her hand with a pain-filled hiss as if it had burned her. "Ouch! Is that silver?"

Darren jumped at her reaction and examined the pen. "Uh, says sterling silver, yeah."

"Ah, I see." She was trying to keep her composure, but it was clear to the others that she was in a great deal of pain.

"Wh- are you okay?" Kyle moved closer like he wanted to help, but he took a step back after realizing how close he had gotten to her. "Um, d-do you need to see the nurse?"

"Oh, no," she assured him. "It's not so bad. I've dealt with worse."

"What happened?" Stan asked.

"I…I'm allergic to silver."

"Really? I didn't know people could be allergic to silver."

"Yes, it's, um, quite rare." She allowed Brooke to take her hand and cup it between her own hands, which she had filled with snow. "Thank you."

"An allergy?" Kyle tilted his head. "You sure you don't need to see the nurse?"

"There's nothing they could do," Lucy said. "It will wear off eventually. It's not as bad since it wasn't pure silver."

"Heya fellas!" Butters smiled as he passed them. "And ladies. Oh, what happened? Are you okay?"

"Yes," Lucy shook the snow off her hand. "I'm fine. How are things with you and Riley?"

"Oh, it's great! He's actually super nice!"

"Really?" Stan asked, looking shocked. "I heard him threaten another kid yesterday for standing too close to him."

"Yeah," Butters twiddled his thumbs awkwardly for a moment. "B-But I don't think he's used to people yet. At least, maybe not nice people. He lives in a bad neighborhood."

"Which one?" Kyle asked.

"Locke Boulevard."

The others shivered, aside from Brooke, Lucy, and Darren who had no idea where that was or the kind of people who lived there. "Why don't you invite him over here?" Lucy asked, earning her frightened looks from a few of the boys.

"Well, I try to all the time, but… Okay, since you asked yourself, maybe he'll come over. H-Hang on!" He ran over to where Riley was standing.

They watched the interaction from a distance, not able to hear anything that was said. Riley looked unsure, shifting his feet, then appeared to sigh and tossed his cigarette aside. "He's coming over!" Stan said and they all stood up straight.

Butters looked very pleased. Riley followed slowly behind him, his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched, and head lowered as he avoided making direct eye contact with any of them. "Everyone," Butters stepped aside so that they could get a good look at the other boy. "This is my best friend, Riley!"

He looked a bit embarrassed by the introduction. "Um, hi," he said, still not looking at them directly.

They greeted him just as nervously, except for Brooke and Lucy, neither of which seemed concerned in the slightest. The two girls greeted him just as casually as they would anyone else there. "How are you today?" Lucy asked him.

"I… I'm fine. Uh, how are you?" He was acutely aware of Butters watching him with a pleased smile.

"I've been better," she glanced at her hand.

"Soooo," Darren said, trying to come up with a conversation topic. "Butters is your best friend?"

"I guess so…" He shot a quick glance at Butters. "I mean, he's technically my ONLY friend."

"Oh," Darren exchanged a look with Kenny.

"Pfft," Cartman snorted. "Your only friend is _Butters_?"

"Dude," Kyle hissed through his teeth at Cartman. The other boys tensed, afraid of how Riley would react to Cartman's comment.

Riley merely shrugged, but he was now looking at Cartman instead of the ground like before. "I didn't want any. I just couldn't get him to leave me alone."

"Oh neat," Darren said. "That's how I became friends with Brooke!"

"Yeah," she rolled her eyes. "And YOU were the one who wouldn't leave ME alone."

"Well," Cartman said. "Butters, seems you've reached a whole new level of annoying. You managed to annoy someone into actually being your friend."

Riley shifted his feet, standing up straight now and watching Cartman. He was beginning to get annoyed with this kid.

"And he actually hangs out with you?" Cartman asked.

"Yeah," Butters said obliviously. "We go to my house and do activities in my room!"

Darren and Kenny snorted, earning them an annoyed side-eye from Brooke.

Riley winced. "S-Stop telling people that!"

"Why?"

He huffed, but he didn't sound annoyed or angry at Butters. "You – You need to be more specific!"

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Wha- Why are you -? Don't apologize!"

"Oh…sorry."

He sighed. "It – It's fine."

"'Sup with your pants?" Cartman pointed at Riley's torn jeans. "You too poor to get any without holes?"

"Something like that," Riley replied, a hint of venom in his tone all of a sudden. "What's it to you?"

"Nothing," he held his hands up in mock innocence. "Just wondering why the toughest, scariest kid in school is hanging around with Butters."

"What does that mean?" His hands were tight fists now.

"Dude," Stan muttered out the corner of his mouth. "Lay off."

Cartman either didn't hear or was ignoring him, and walked around Riley, coming to a stop beside him. "Nothing, nothing. I mean, if you only hang out with him because he annoyed you into it, then doesn't that mean you actually hate him? I mean, look at him. It's _Butters_. Haven't you thought about kicking his ass? I'm sure he'd leave you alone after."

"No," Riley said. "But I'm thinking of kicking yours!"

"What? What for?!"

"Quit talking about him like that!"

"Like what?!"

Cartman seemed like he was going to say something else, but whatever it was, was lost when Riley suddenly decked him right in the face. He shouted, grabbing his face and stumbling backwards into the snow. The others stared with shocked expressions as Riley got on top of him and started punching him over and over. Several other kids on the playground stopped to watch as well, equally surprised, then formed a ring around them and started shouting excitedly.

"Riley!" Butters gasped. "Stop!"

He paused at hearing Butters' plea then shoved Cartman into the snow before getting off of him and dusting himself off.

"N-Now what is going on here?!" Mr. Mackey pushed his way through the crowd of children, gasping upon finding Cartman laying in the snow holding his bloodied face. He spotted Riley's blood-covered knuckles. "Riley Stewart! Not again! Now, what is the meaning of this!?"

Riley glared up at him and simply shrugged. "He pissed me off."

"Now, that's no reason to attack someone! Mkay? Now, since it was Eric, he probably did something to deserve it, b-but that's still no excuse, mkay! You can't just go around beating on people just because they did o-or said something you didn't like."

"Tell that to my dad…" he muttered darkly.

"W-What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Well, you really shouldn't mumble either. It makes it hard for people to understand you, mkay. Now, you see me after school for detention, mkay."

"Are you going to call my dad?"

"Well, maybe not this time. That is – if you show up for detention this time!"

"Okay. Then I'll be there."

"Mkay, well, uh, Eric, let's get you to the nurse. There you go."

"I like this kid," Brooke said as the crowd dispersed and Cartman was taken away.

Darren shot her a look.

"He's cute, too," she added, and Kenny shifted uncomfortably beside her.

"That escalated REALLY quickly," Kyle said. "But I kind of like him, too."

"Aw, gee," Butters followed Riley back over to his usual spot in the shade. "I think you broke his nose or something. There's a lot of blood in the snow now."

"I'm not sorry," Riley said. He lit a new cigarette and took a long drag from it before turning to Butters. "I'm sorry if I scared you, though."

"That's okay. I was more scared for Eric's sake than anything. Oh, then I was scared for you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, I thought you'd get in a lot more trouble than that!"

He shrugged. "Shit happens."

"Yeah." He shifted his feet. "Uhm, what Eric said…was it true? Do you actually hate me?"

Riley looked at him, surprised, then stepped very close to him and lightly held his hand. "Of course not, dummy."

Butters felt warm all of a sudden. "O-Oh…"

"I never hated you," he said softly, that little charm of his making his words sound sweet. "I was kind of afraid of you."

"You were?! A-Afraid of ME?"

Riley laughed a little and released his hand. "I guess I'm just not used to a kind touch."

"Really? What do you mean?" He used his other hand to hold the one that Riley had just let go of. "You have a really nice touch. Uh, well, not with Eric."

He laughed again. The bell ending recess rang out from the main section of the yard. Riley took a last puff of his cigarette then tossed it to the ground. "Detention is a fun way to spend Friday afternoon."

"Is it?"

"I was being sarcastic. Though, it IS better than going home…"

"How so?"

"Eh," Riley hunched his shoulders. "Just…nothing to do at home."

"Oh, well, why don't you come over to my place after? You can stay over for the weekend!"

Riley thought about it for a moment as they made their way back into the school building. "Yeah, okay. I'll have to pick some stuff up at my house first… I'll meet you at your place."

"Oh boy!"

.

It was about five thirty when Riley had been released from detention and began his trek towards Locke. He always walked to and from school, despite the distance, so it didn't bother him. There was only one bus that would stop at the beginning of the boulevard, but he preferred walking anyway so that he could be alone with his thoughts.

The boulevard itself was located west on the very edge of town and was not a very welcoming place. Most of the houses were abandoned or falling apart, their residents being filthy and thoughtless on hard drugs and alcohol. It was true that Riley was new to the school, but he had always lived on Locke.

He had been expelled from his previous school after getting into a bad fight. Fights were commonplace at that school, and no one really ever got more than a stern warning, even for multiple offenders. But even a place like that had thin lines that one should not cross. Riley had beaten another boy down so bad that the kid ended up in the hospital, which the parents were furious about. It wasn't his fault their kid was a dick. In fact, Riley had actually attacked him after seeing him kick a stray cat that had wandered onto the school grounds. Nonetheless, to appease the angry parents, Riley had been expelled, which his own father did not take lightly.

Father… Riley hated that man. He hated him so much that it hurt. His mother had passed away during childbirth, and his father seemed to blame him or something, because he had always been horrible to Riley. Not just verbally, but physically. Riley made damn sure to stay out of that man's way and avoid him as much as possible, especially when he was drunk, which was often. That man had instilled a great fear within Riley, and the little boy had turned to bad and inappropriate things to distract himself. Excuses to avoid his father for a little while. Of course, he knew that if he didn't show his face at home every now and then, he would regret that, too.

He stopped, staring at the front door of his house. The white door was yellowed with age and covered in scuffs and scratches from the people that would sometimes come angrily looking for his father, yelling about owing them money. He sighed, preparing himself for the worst, as he never knew what kind of mood his father would be in. Opening the door, he was immensely relieved to find the man drunkenly passed out on the couch with the TV on.

Riley quickly and quietly made his way behind the couch, down the hall, and into his small room. The floor of the house was littered with garbage and his room was no exception. There were places near the walls, specifically by the closet, where broken glass beer bottles laid with beer stains on the walls and carpet. Riley did a lot of negative things for his age, but alcohol was not one of them. Another thing that littered the floor, in Riley's room specifically and all around the bed, were wraps and bandages, blood-stained gauze, empty alcohol swab packets, and old cigarettes.

He emptied the contents of his school bag onto his bed and began to pack it with clothes instead. After packing what he believed to be good enough for the weekend, he slung the bag over his shoulder and left the room, making his way across the hall towards the bathroom. He froze as he touched the doorknob, a chill passing through him as he heard his father shift and a thud. He stayed there for a long moment, not even breathing, before he realized that the sound was just the man falling off the sofa and not actually waking up.

With a sigh that was a mix of relief and annoyance, he entered the bathroom and grabbed his tooth and hair brushes, shoving them into his bag and hurrying back out of the house. That was much easier than he expected. If he had been awake, then Riley might have had to sneak out later. He looked at his cracked phone screen; it was twelve after six.

.

"Are you sure your friend's coming?" Butters' dad asked.

"He said he would," Butters replied. He jumped from his seat and ran over to the front door as the doorbell went off. "Riley!"

"Hey," Riley smiled sheepishly. "Sorry I'm late."

"That's okay! We were waiting for you before we ate dinner. Come on!"

After dinner, Riley had been allowed to enjoy a warm bath. The only problem was that he had to remove the bloodied bandage wrap from his forearm and, in his rush to get out before his father woke up, he had forgotten to grab a new one. After bathing and making sure that the long cut down his entire forearm was not infected, he carefully dried himself and pulled dark green night pants and a long sleeve shirt on, making sure to keep the sleeve of his injured arm rolled up as the wound had still not closed all the way.

He poked his head out of the bathroom to make sure that the parents were not around, then crossed to Butters' room and opened the door. He found the other boy playing with a little RC car that he had placed a hamster in.

"Oh," Butters smiled. "Hey Riley! You're all done?"

"Um, well…" he felt embarrassed. He really didn't want to show or even tell Butters about the wound but… "I, uh, do you guys have any first aid or wraps?"

"Hm?" Butters tilted his head then spotted the long cut on Riley's arm. "Oh, gee, what happened?!"

Riley shushed him. "It's fine. Just… I – I need something to wrap it."

"O-Okay." Butters led him back over to the bathroom. He rummaged around through a cabinet under the sink then pulled out a bunch of first aid and medical supplies. "Will this work?" He held up a roll of fresh bandages.

"Yes," Riley said softly and took the roll.

"Do you need help?" He was watching Riley with great concern.

"No. I do this all the time."

"You do?" He looked frightened.

Riley flinched, annoyed with himself for saying that out loud. "Well…I mean, not ALL the time…"

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I mean, I just…cut myself is all. No big deal."

"But that's a really big cut! When did it happen?"

Riley didn't answer at first. He carefully but tightly wrapped his arm. "Only yesterday."

Butters nervously twiddled his thumbs as he watched Riley wrap the wound. The cut was more of a gash; it was long and deep and still bleeding a little. "Do you get hurt a lot?"

"Huh?" Riley looked up at him.

"Y-Your arm. There's a bunch of scars and other scratches."

He quickly pulled his sleeve down. "I…well…yes. Most of it's from my dad."

"Your dad? Why?"

"I don't know why," he looked away. "He's just an asshole."

"So, is that big one from your dad, too?"

Again, he took a minute to answer. He stared at the floor, not wanting to look at him. "No. I did that myself."

"How?"

He took in a shaky breath, holding it for a few seconds, then reached out with his uninjured arm and grabbed Butters' wrist, pulling him closer. Butters was startled by the action, but he wasn't being rough with him. They were suddenly standing up against each other and he suddenly felt warm again as Riley pressed their foreheads lightly together.

"It…was just an accident," Riley lied, not looking him in the eyes.

"Oh," was all Butters could manage to say at that moment.

They stood there like that for a long time before Riley suddenly took a step back and laughed a little. "We should probably go check on that hamster you left out. He's probably eating something in your room that he shouldn't be."

Butters suddenly jumped. "Oh! Oh, no! I'm gonna get grounded if he messes up the wires!"

Riley laughed as Butters hurried out of the bathroom. It had been a long time since he laughed like that. Maybe it was even the first time.

**To be continued…**

* * *

**I'm big into the dark, macabre, and messed up shit. Tragedy. That's what it is. Love it. But with happy endings...usually. I also like gay shit because I'm a freaking weirdo I guess, I dunno. Also, I realized that there are a whole THREE love story plots trying to go on at once in this story hahahaha! Love it.**

**Oh, btw, my comment at the beginning of this chapter was genuine. I legit forgot which chapter this was and had to read the first quarter to remember haha**


	17. Chapter 17: Valentine's Day

**You guys are still lagging behind (that is, if anyone's actually reading this). I just finished chapter 22 and am soon to start 23. (Un)fortunately, my boss called today and I should be getting back to work soon...yay. I've been playing a lot of Animal Crossing lately, too.**

* * *

February fourteenth… It was finally Valentine's Day. The interior of the school had been decorated with pink and red hearts that were plastered to the walls, lockers, and even stretching across the halls by hanging from the ceiling. Brooke might've found it annoying if it weren't for all of the cute cards and candies that people kept giving her. She almost felt bad for not bothering to bring anything for anyone. Almost.

"My god," Darren said. He and the others had gone over to meet her by her locker. She had opened the locker to find a pile of cards that had apparently been slipped in through the slots. "You're scary, why does everyone like you so much?"

"Pfft," she rolled her eyes and began neatly stacking the cards. "You're just jealous."

"Yeah! I want more free candy!" He turned and snapped at Cartman, "And what are YOU laughing about? You only got ONE and it was from Butters!"

"Yeah, dude," Stan said. "Butters gave everyone a card and a lollipop."

Brooke had stopped to open and read one of the cards, which appeared to have a long hand-written note inside.

"What's that?" Darren asked, trying to see.

She stepped away from him, hiding the card and giving him a glare. "It's mine! Step off!"

"Okay, geez," he took a step back.

"H-Hey Lucy!" Kyle jumped a little upon noticing the girl approaching.

"Hello," she said, stopping beside Brooke. Most of them hadn't really noticed since she hid it well, but Lucy had not been feeling much like herself that day. Only Brooke knew why.

"Are you okay?" Kyle asked. Apparently, he had noticed.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine," she told him. "I'm just a bit…off today. But don't worry about me. Princess…um, Brooke, I see that your locker has been stuffed today, too."

"Yeah," she skimmed over each card as she stacked them. "I don't mind."

"Did…you get a lot, too?" Kyle asked Lucy.

"Yes." She was watching Brooke organize. "I received quite a few. I was rather surprised."

"I'm not," Darren muttered.

"Jealous," Brooke sang out the corner of her mouth.

"Yes," Lucy continued. "I even seem to have received some from a few kindergarteners."

"Oh…that's cool." Kyle noticed that she almost seemed anxious, and she kept touching the golden heart necklace that she wore. "I've been meaning to ask, where'd you get that necklace? I don't think I've ever seen you without it."

"Oh," she turned her attention fully on him now. Her expression changed and eyes lit up a little. "My father gave this to me. It's…to remind me of who I am."

Cartman snorted. "You need a necklace to remember who you are?" Brooke and Kyle both turned to give him warning glares.

"Sometimes," Lucy replied, unbothered by his remark.

"Oh, well," he seemed unsure of how to continue, so he decided to target someone else. "Mr. Garrison's going to let everyone pass out their candy in class. It's gonna be sweet. Too bad SOMEBODY'S too poor to afford any!" He made it very clear that he was talking about Kenny.

"It's not MY fault!" he retaliated.

"Ah – I can't hear you! Maybe if you thought about other people's needs instead of your own…"

"You don't NEED candy," Darren fussed.

"Oh – Oh? Another selfish person who didn't want to bring any candy to share? No, no, I must be imagining it. I – I don't hear anything, but – but somehow… Huh, it's no wonder neither of you got any Valentines."

"You're one to fucking talk!" Kenny snapped.

"Oh dear," Lucy sighed.

"Cartman," Brooke started rummaging through her locker. "You, of ALL people, do not need any candy."

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying I'm fat?!"

She ignored him and handed Darren and Kenny each a little bag of heart candies. "There. Happy Valentine's Day."

"Oh, sweet, thanks!" Darren smiled.

"Yeah," Kenny blushed and tightened his hood a little. "Thanks."

"What about me?" Cartman asked her.

"Cartman, I hate you." She closed her locker and walked away.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

.

"Riley!" Butters smiled as he found him in his usual spot at recess.

At first, it would startle Riley when Butters would do this, but after a week of him almost constantly following Riley like a puppy, he kind of got used to it. He smiled. "Hey, Butters."

"I haven't seen you all morning. I thought that maybe you stayed home or something."

"Not if I can help it."

"Oh yeah… Well, Happy Valentine's Day!" He handed him a card with a picture of a kitten on it that read 'You're Purrfect!'. Attached to it was a red heart-shaped lollipop.

Riley snorted a little at it, but accepted it nonetheless. "Thanks. I guess I'll have to get you something later."

"You don't have to do that," Butters told him. "I'm just glad you're here."

He tilted his head. "You don't want anything?"

"No. Well…"

Riley smirked. "Well?"

"Uh, well, I-I was thinking that, maybe – maybe you should stop smoking. Uh, if you want to!"

Riley was about to take another puff of his cigarette when Butters said this. He paused just before it reached his lips then tossed it to the ground. "Sure."

"Wha- Really?"

"If that's what you want."

**…**

Kyle caught up with Lucy on the way home after school. "Lucy, wait! I-I wanted to ask you something."

Lucy was walking with Brooke and Sniper, who had waited for them after school today. They all stopped to look back at him curiously. Sniper wagged his tail and moved to give the boy a lick on the hand.

He patted the dog's head as he tried to build up enough confidence. Usually when he talked to Lucy, he would end up getting nervous and stumbling over his words. That, or he wouldn't be able to actually form any words. Another person being there seemed nerve-racking, but since it was just Brooke and her dog, he felt a little better about it.

"Yes, Kyle?" Lucy tilted her head a little.

"Um, I was just wondering if you wanted to come with me to see the fireworks show tonight?"

"Tonight? I would very much like to, but…"

"Oh," he said. "A-Are you still not feeling well? That's okay then. I mean, you seemed kind of nervous earlier, so I thought that maybe…maybe it would make you feel better?"

"You're very perceptive," she looked a bit surprised.

"It's supposed to rain tonight," Brooke interjected. Sniper had gone back over to her, and she was petting the dog while smiling softly to herself. "Not 'til around midnight though. When is the show?"

"At ten," Kyle said. "But it won't last THAT long."

"You should go," Brooke told Lucy.

"I should?" She looked over at her, even more surprised.

Brooke stood up straight and shrugged. "Yeah. Just be back before midnight… I mean, it's a school night, after all."

"Well…"

"Actually," she continued. "You guys should meet up somewhere earlier. Maybe six or seven. Eat dinner, and hang out. Then go see the fireworks later." She smiled mischievously at Lucy and turned to keep walking. "After all, you should get out more, Lucy. Come on, Sniper. Let's go read all these cards and eat the candy." The dog barked his approval and trotted after her.

"All right then," Lucy turned back to Kyle. "I suppose she's right… Okay. I'll…meet you at your house for six?"

"Oh! O-Okay, yeah! I'll…see you then."

.

A little later in the evening, Brooke was sitting on the sofa with Sniper standing a few feet away. Between eating some herself, she would toss a tiny heart candy at her dog to watch him catch it in his jaws and swallow it whole. This was a game she usually played with him with popcorn, but chocolate-less candy was his favorite, specifically Skittles. She had just watched him snap twice at a candy that he almost missed, and was chuckling over the funny sounds his jaws had made when the doorbell suddenly rang.

They both paused to stare at the door. She exchanged a quick glance with the dog, then got up and opened the door. No one was there. She looked around, but didn't see anyone outside. Sniper was sniffing at something at her feet. "What's this?" She picked up a heart-shaped box with a neat little bow tied to the corner that was holding a single rose. She opened the box to find it full of chocolates, and there was a white and gold card inside that simply read 'To: Brooke' with no 'From' written anywhere. She glanced around one last time, "Huh," then took the box inside with her.

"Who was that?" Her mother came down from upstairs.

"I don't know," she carefully pulled the rose free from the bow. "There was just this."

"Ooh, secret admirer," her mother teased.

.

"Kenny!" Karen smiled excitedly as her brother entered her room. "You're back late. Were you at Brooke's again?"

"Uhm, just for a minute. Here you go." He handed her a little heart-shaped box of chocolates.

"Wow! This is for me?"

"Uh-huh. Happy Valentine's Day, Karen."

"Thanks so much!" She hugged him.

**…**

Kyle had spent the rest of the afternoon hurrying around his house getting ready and trying to tidy things up, warning, more like begging, his parents not to do or say anything embarrassing. "Kyle, calm down," his mother told him. He had run down the stairs for the fifth time and was now breathing heavily. Though, his parents _did _find it amusing.

"Okay, yeah," he huffed and started walking back upstairs. "It's fine." The doorbell rang and he bolted back down the stairs. "She's here!"

"Oh my!" His mother jumped back as he ran past her to get to the door first.

He paused with his hand on the doorknob and took in a deep breath before opening the door. "H-Hey, Lucy!" He cleared his throat, annoyed with how his voice had cracked.

"Hello." He moved aside and allowed her to step inside.

"Ah," Kyle's dad smiled. "So, you're the Lucy we've heard so much about."

"Dad!"

He chuckled a little. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise." She performed her signature curtsy.

"Oh, how proper!" His mother said.

A little toddler boy ran over to Lucy, babbling excitedly. "Oh," Lucy said. "This is the kindergartner that gave me a card today."

"Wha- Ike!" Kyle snapped.

"You two best get going," Kyle's dad said. "Do you need a ride?"

"No," Kyle said immediately then winced and looked at Lucy. "Uh, unless you want?"

"I don't mind walking," she smiled, watching Ike tug at her coat.

Kyle shooed his little brother away and left with Lucy. "Sorry about that," he said as they walked.

"Oh, I don't mind," she told him. "Your family seems nice."

Most of the walk to the restaurant was silent. It was the first time he was alone with her and, of course, he had no idea what to talk about. He felt awkward about it at first, but he noticed that Lucy appeared to be quite content to quietly observe the scenery, which made him feel a little better about it.

"Does it always snow here?" she asked suddenly.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, pretty much. Sometimes it rains, like it's supposed to tonight."

"Interesting," she mused. "It doesn't snow where I'm from. Well, in a certain area it does, but not where I lived."

"You mean Louisiana? Wait – no, you're not from Louisiana. Brooke's not originally from there either, right?"

"That's right."

"She said once that you've known each other from birth. So, where ARE you guys from?"

She slowly looked over at him and smiled, making him hold his breath. "I'll tell you…later."

"O-Oh. Okay."

.

The waiter had seated them in a cozy little booth off to the side where they sat across from each other. Lucy was looking around curiously and taking in everything around them. Kyle smiled a little. "You…really like to look at stuff."

She turned her attention on him. "I've never been to a restaurant before."

"Really?"

"I have not been to or done a lot of things that seem commonplace here. Everything I needed was already given to me."

"Wow, is, uh, was your family wealthy?"

"You could say that," she laughed a little.

"No wonder you're so proper and, um, fancy."

"Fancy," she echoed the word with a cute little laugh. "I suppose so."

He blushed and lifted his menu to hide his face. "So, what are you getting?"

"I'm not sure," she replied. "I've never bothered to request anything specific before."

He lowered the menu. "Well…what do you like? What's your favorite food?"

"My favorite?" She thought for a moment then blushed a little. "I…I like steak."

"Oh! Well they have a really good sirloin here." He pointed to the option on the menu. "You can get two sides with it, too."

"All right. Then I'll get that."

.

"The fireworks show is going to be over Stark's Pond," Kyle was saying as they left the restaurant. "Have you been to the pond before?"

"No. I haven't explored much of town since I got here," she admitted. "Perhaps you could give me a tour some time?"

"S-Sure! I mean, that'd be fun."

He walked her over to a bench near the pond's edge and they sat down. It was only about eight, so they still had a full two hours to wait. Unsure of what to say again, he started making small talk, asking her questions like her favorite color and so on.

Lucy answered questions willingly. She had never bothered to think about some of the trivial things he was asking, but doing so now was kind of fun. Much to his surprise, she even started asking the same questions to him. It was strange; the only person Lucy ever bothered to spend time with was Brooke. Lucy was naturally kind, but she had never cared enough to spend her time with and learn about anyone else. Brooke often would tell her that she should.

All of their casual talking and bonding had managed to pass the time quickly, and before they knew it, several other people had gathered in places around the pond. Lucy jumped a little as something flew up in a zigzagging motion to the sky then jumped again as it suddenly exploded with bright colors and popping sounds.

"It's starting," Kyle laughed. "You've never seen fireworks before, have you?"

She laughed too. "No."

It was fascinating to her to see this odd spectacle. It was loud and colorful, the bright lights causing everything around them to take on their hue, and the still water perfectly reflecting all of it. She was particularly fascinated by the ones that would form shapes like hearts and stars.

She wasn't sure just how long the show had taken, being far too enamored with it to keep track of the time. Even after it had ended, she was too busy talking with Kyle as they walked to look at the time. It wasn't until they were almost to his house and little drops of rain had begun to fall that she suddenly felt a rush of fear and checked the time.

"Oh, no," she said breathlessly.

"What is it?" Kyle turned and saw her looking at the time. "Oh, man, it's late. I'm sorry! I said we'd be home before midnight."

"No, no," she stepped away from him. "It's not your fault. I lost track of the time. I have to go now."

"Are you sure you don't want my dad to drive you?" They had just reached his home and the rain was beginning to fall harder.

"No, I'll be fine," she insisted, already walking quickly away. "I really have to leave, but I'll see you later."

"O-Okay…" He watched her hurry away, feeling disappointed but also wondering if something was wrong.

.

After a little bit, Lucy started running. She had to get back home before midnight. Before the full moon reached its highest point. She chanced a glance up at the sky. The moon was peaking out from behind storm clouds. She could feel the cold moonlight turning her blood cold and felt sick to her stomach. How could she forget to track the time? _Foolish._

She managed to reach the front yard but it was already too late. A great pain passed through her and she fell to her hands and knees. She clutched at the grass as her body tensed, breathing out a sound like a growl or snarl as her teeth became sharp and pointed.

.

Sniper's head bolted upright, his ears pricked up and pointing forward. He whimpered and let out a quiet bark.

"Mm. What is it?" Brooke rubbed her eyes. She bolted upright as well as she heard a loud howl from somewhere outside. "Oh no. Lucy!" She threw her blanket off and jumped out of bed, running down the stairs and throwing the front door open. "Lucy?!" She looked around but saw nothing.

Sniper ran downstairs but came to halt at the door upon realizing that it was raining. He whimpered.

"Don't worry about it," Brooke told the dog as she grabbed her jacket and pulled it on. She hurriedly slipped her boots on and ran outside. She could see deep gashes and claw marks in the yard.

.

"Darren!"

He shouted and jumped up as Brooke burst into his room. "Oh god! How did you get in my house?!"

"Shut up! Get up! We gotta go find Lucy before she mauls someone and eats them!" She ran back out of his room.

He took a moment to process what she had just said. "What?!"

.

Stan's parents had gone off somewhere for Valentine's Day, so he was left in the care of his uncle Jimbo and Jimbo's friend Ned while his sister went sleep over at a friend's. And the three of them were woken up in the middle of the night by a loud howl and snarling.

"What is that?!" Stan yelled as he joined them in their living room.

Jimbo shushed him. He and Ned were ducked under the window and peeking just over the edge to look. Jimbo gasped and ducked back into cover as a huge blue-gray beast moved past their window. "Didya see THAT Ned?!" He whispered.

"Nnnsure did."

"That's a werewolf!"

"What?!" Stan freaked and was shushed again.

"Ned, go get the silver bullets. We're baggin' ourselves a big one tonight!" Once Ned had returned with their weapons, the two men readied themselves by the front door. "On the count o' three. One. Two…Three!" They kicked the door open only to find that the werewolf had already taken off down the street. "Damnit! We waited too long!"

"Nnnlet's go after it."

"Good idea, Ned."

"Wait," Stan said. "You can't just leave me! What if it comes back?!"

"Oh yeah. Well, it's been a while since we took you on one of our hunts. Let's go."

"WHAT?!"

"You'll be safer with us, don't worry."

"That thing was like eight feet tall!"

"Wwwwe've taken down bigger," Ned assured him.

.

"Yeah," Stan said into his phone as he followed his uncle. He had called Kyle. "Could you guys, like, come pick me up?"

"It's a little hard to track it in this rain," Jimbo said. The rain had gotten significantly worse and was icy cold.

A little while later, Kyle and his father had driven out to go pick up Stan a few blocks away. He stopped the car, pulling over to the side. "I can't see anything out here! It's really coming down out there. Darn wipers, they don't help at all. W-Where did Stan say he was?"

Kyle looked down at his phone. "Just around the corner. On the next street."

His father was about to move the vehicle again when something large slammed heavily into the side of the car with a loud bang, sending the little car rolling across to the other end of the street. The car had landed on its top, heavily dented, and the windows and windshield all shattered from the impact.

"Ugh," Kyle's dad shook his head. "K-Kyle? Kyle, are you all right?!"

"I-I'm fine, Dad." He pulled himself backwards out through the window.

"See if you can find Jimbo and the others," his dad said. "I-I'm gonna need their help getting out of here."

Before he could even reply, a huge blue beast jumped onto the car's upturned underside and bared its sharp teeth at the boy in a ferocious snarl. He screamed and scrambled onto his feet, trying to run away, but with a single pounce, the werewolf had easily crossed the distance and knocked him over. He quickly flipped over onto his back, terrified, his ears full of the sounds of pounding rain and vicious snarling. The werewolf had pinned him, standing over him on all fours, its snarling jaws moving closer to his face.

He was breathing the heaviest he'd ever breathed, his heart pounding so much it was almost painful. He was so terrified, but he couldn't help but stare into the monster's eyes. Oddly enough, they were a very pretty shade of blue. And vaguely familiar… A glint caught his eye, and he glanced down to see something hanging from the monster's neck. It was a golden chain with a gold heart dangling from it. Inside of the heart was an 'L'. "Wha- Lucy?"

The werewolf's flattened ears shot up straight, its snarl had vanished, and it stared at him, looking mildly confused.

"Lucy? Is that you?!" He sat up a little straighter.

She suddenly looked frightened and backed away a few steps with a whimper.

"Lucy…" He tried to reach out and touch her muzzle.

"Oh shit!" Jimbo yelled as they came around the corner. "It's got Kyle!"

The werewolf roared with pain as multiple bullets were shot into her shoulder and side. With a whimpering growl, she turned and bolted away into the trees.

"Wait!" Kyle hurried to his feet. He turned and yelled at them. "Why did you do that?!"

"What do you mean?!" He flinched. "That thing was gonna kill you!"

"That THING was Lucy!"

Brooke and Darren had managed to catch up as well, and came around the corner just in time.

"Lucy's a werewolf!?" Stan and Darren said simultaneously.

"You mean we just shot a kid?" Jimbo exchanged a look with Ned.

"Nnnnnnot again…"

"You SHOT her!?" Brooke shouted.

"It's not our fault! We thought it was a monster! We didn't know she was a kid!"

"We have to find her!" She was almost panicked. "And do NOT shoot her again!"

"She recognized me…" Kyle said quietly as he stared into the forest.

"Good," Brooke grabbed his wrist and pulled him along with her. "Let's go find her."

The harsh rain had already washed away most of the blood trail, but there was still just enough that the two of them could spot some every couple of feet. As they got further into the forest, the trees became denser and the rain wasn't able to wash all of the blood away anymore. They followed the sickening crimson trail all the way to what was probably once an old bear's den.

The inside was dark and deep, and the sound of the heavy rain was muffled so that they could hear something breathing heavily up ahead. They moved forward, finding the big werewolf collapsed in a heap and bleeding.

"Lucy!" Brooke ran over to her and started looking over the bullet wounds. "I'm going to have to dig these out. Sorry, Lucy."

She growled as Brooke began messing with the wounds, but she made no attempt to get up or move. Kyle carefully walked around to stand in front of her and got down on his knees. Her jowls twitched as she tried to bare her fangs at him from the ground, but the aggressive behavior quickly subsided and she sniffed at him and whimpered instead.

"Lucy…" he placed his hand on her head. Her size made him look like a toddler. He sniffed, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with sadness and slowly laid down on top of her, hugging her head. "I'm so sorry, Lucy. This is all my fault. You wanted to be home before midnight, but I didn't help keep track of the time. I forgot. Now you're hurt…and – and you might die…"

Brooke looked over at him with sympathy. "She won't die, Kyle. Don't worry. It might hurt like crazy, but it'd take a lot more than some silver bullets to kill her. And it's not your fault. It's not really anyone's fault." She paused a moment and looked away. "We should've just told you guys everything. Or at least enough. At least…this. Anyways, once I get the rest of these bullets out, she'll heal up nice and quick."

He sniffed and wiped his eyes. "You knew…so, are you -?"

"I'm not a werewolf, if that's what you're asking." She shot him a little smirk. "If I was, I'd be looking a little more like Lucy right now. I'll… We'll talk it over later, me and Lucy, and then we'll tell you and the other boys. For now, you just keep her relaxed while I deal with this."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Surprise. Not really. I mean, I was pretty sure I was making it obvious before that Lucy Lupinshire is, in fact, a werewolf. And from THIS point on is where the 'fantasy' rating on this story actually comes in. I mean, it's South Park. Weirder things have happened there. MUCH weirder... AND JUST WAIT! It gets even WEIRDER! HAHA! **

**Anyways, questions, comments, concerns? Not sure why you'd be concerned...but heck. Concerned for my sanity maybe... MOVING ON!**


	18. Chapter 18: Opening Doors

**Now we get to the 'fantasy' part of this story's genre labels. Of course, it's South Park, so weirder shit has happened. Oh, I'll probably try to upload a chapter once a week until I catch you guys up from now.**

* * *

It had been two days since the werewolf incident. Two days since either Lucy or Brooke were seen at school, or anywhere else for that matter. Stan and Darren had only vague ideas of what happened and why the two girls had suddenly vanished. Kyle, it seemed, was the only one who really knew, or at least had any clue, and he wouldn't speak a word of it. In fact, he hadn't spoken much at all since that night. It wasn't until they were leaving school that day that it was brought up again when a strange feathered reptile creature appeared before the group.

"Greetings," the green creature bowed briefly to them.

The boys jumped back in shock as the creature not only had appeared with a sudden burst of fire and sparks, but it spoke. "Hey!" Kenny pointed excitedly at it. "You're that bird lizard that appeared in Brooke's room!"

"Spike," the creature corrected him with a small smile.

"Yeah!"

"Kenny," Stan squeaked. "You know that thing?!"

He shrugged. "It's Brooke's."

Spike cleared his throat politely. "Ahem, yes. Hello, my name is Spike. I am the Princess's humble steward. I have come to collect you and take you over to her now."

"We're going to Brooke's house?" Kenny asked hopefully and Darren smirked, despite his confusion over what was happening right now.

"Yes."

"Are we going to see Lucy?" Kyle burst out. "Is she okay?"

"Yes," Spike repeated, "and yes." He glanced over the five boys with an almost skeptical look, stopping on Cartman. "I was told not to invite the large one unless he was already here. So, since you are here, I suppose you should come as well."

He looked around as if he didn't know who Spike was talking about.

"Come along then!" With a single, strong flap of his wings, Spike lifted himself above them and glided off down the street at a steady pace.

"Aren't you worried about other people seeing you?" Kenny asked the creature.

"Not in the slightest," Spike replied as politely as ever. "If anyone decides to pester, then we can pretend that I am a new toy." He lowered his head to look at Kenny. "But do NOT let anyone touch me! Please."

"O-Okay?"

.

Butters and Riley were playing a card game in Butters' room on the bed, when the cards were suddenly blown about and scattered as fire and sparks erupted between the two boys. They both jumped back with surprise, and stared dumbstruck as a neon-yellow feathered creature with long lime green feathers down its spine appeared before them.

This one was similar to Spike in appearance, not that either boy knew of Spike, except instead of a row of spikes protruding down its back, it had two small horns on its head like that of a young goat's, about three inches in length, and was a tad smaller in body size than Spike.

It looked a bit surprised at its location and lightly shook off a playing card that had stuck to its foot. "My," he said, shaking the dust from his feathers. "It's been a while since I've used that spell for such a long distance…"

Frightened, Butters had scrambled around the bed to where Riley was and clutched at the other boy's sleeve. "What the hell are you?!" Riley asked.

"Oh!" The creature turned with a little hop to face them. "Forgive me my lack of manners!" He bowed quickly. "I didn't mean to appear on the bed! I'm very sorry for disturbing your game. My name is Pixie."

"Oh," Butters relaxed and smiled. "Well, hiya Pixie! You're a cute little fella, but you sure scared us."

Pixie wiggled delightedly, his feathers flexing. "Thank you! And I'm terribly sorry for the fright. I was sent to bring you to the Princess. Luckily, you're neighbors, so the trip is not far."

"Princess?" he tilted his head. "Oh! Are we playing the game today? Aw man, my paladin clothes are in the wash…"

Pixie smiled. "I'm not sure what you are referring to, but a change of clothes will not be necessary. I mean, look at me; I appear before the Princess all the time, and I don't wear clothes at all."

"I think that's kind of different…" Riley muttered. He had scooted closer to the creature and was hesitantly holding a hand out, debating if it was a good idea to pet him or not. He quickly retracted his hand as Pixie turned to address him.

"I was told to retrieve the little boy known as Butters, but she said she won't mind if you'd like to come as well?"

"Uh…okay?"

"Excellent!" Pixie looked delighted and clapped his little hands together. "All right, pick me up."

"What?"

"We have to pass the parents on our way out, yes? And I presume they will want to know where we are going? So, pick me up and pretend that I am a stuffed toy. It will be fun!"

"Will it?" Riley looked unsure but reached over and picked him up anyway. He slid off the bed, holding Pixie in his arms like a baby. "I guess you could pass as some kind of stuffed dragon… You _are _cute."

"Oh," Pixie smiled and wiggled again. "You two are sweet. Now, let's be off."

.

As they reached the front yard of Brooke's house, Spike lowered himself and landed gracefully upon the steps to the front door then turned to wait for the boys.

Cartman gasped and moved to the other side of Stan and Darren when he saw Riley approaching from the next yard. He was carrying a similar creature to that of Spike, and Butters was excitedly following.

"Are you guys playing, too?" Butters asked.

"This is no game, I assure you," Spike told him. With a quick flick of his tail, the lock on the other side of the door clicked and the door gently fell open. "Come along." He led them inside and up the stairs, stopping by Brooke's door and knocking twice upon it.

"Come in!" Her voice called from the other side.

With the same motion of his tail, the door opened and he stepped aside to allow the boys in first.

Brooke was sitting on the edge of her bed with Lucy, who was sitting very properly. On her other side sat Clyde, who eyed them as they entered.

"Clyde?" Darren said. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged.

"He followed me home," Brooke said uncaringly.

"Lucy!" Kyle stopped himself from running over and hugging the girl. "U-Um, are you…"

"Oh, I'm fine now," she smiled. "Sorry for the fright I gave you, though."

"Oh, that's cool. I mean, worse stuff has happened."

"Has it?"

"Yes," Brooke answered. "Yes it has."

Riley was clearly uncomfortable being around all of these people, and he slowly edged himself further away from the group. He was kind of grateful that Pixie had not tried to remove himself from Riley's arms, because it made Riley feel a little more relaxed to hold the soft warm creature.

Spike suddenly appeared on the bedside table, folding his wings neatly behind him as he perched. He eyed Pixie for a moment then rolled his eyes and addressed Brooke instead. "Princess, we've brought the ones you asked for. As well as the one you didn't."

"I see that." She narrowed her eyes at Cartman. "Thank you, Spike, Pixie."

"What's going on?" Stan asked.

"Are we in trouble?" Darren moaned.

"And why does Clyde get to sit on the bed?" Kenny asked angrily. Clyde smirked, which pissed him off more.

"I'm about to explain that. No. And because he was here first; chill."

The boys all exchanged looks with each other and sat down on the carpeted floor, aside from Clyde, who remained where he was on the bed, smirking at Kenny.

Brooke took in a slow breath. "Okay. Most of you are here because I figured I should tell you all, one of you is here by choice, and the last is here by happenstance even though I don't like you." She looked down at Cartman who threw his hands up as if challenging her to a fight. "First of all," she continued. "Yes, Lucy is a werewolf."

"Wow," Cartman said. "Jesus's best friend is werewolf. Nice."

She ignored him. "The reason she, and these two," she gestured to Spike and Pixie, "call me Princess, is because I AM a princess. …Of the Nether."

There was a long silence before Darren pointed at her. "I KNEW you were some kind of twisted Disney Princess!"

"Right. _Anyways_… My father is the Grim Reaper and my REAL mother was a giant scary monster called a Wechuge, and she was the Queen of the Nether and all the monsters in it. Therefore, I am, in fact, Princess of the Nether, AS WELL as the Angel of Death, AKA, daughter of the Angel of Death. Blah-blah, details, details…" She waved her hand lazily.

"That's pretty sweet," Cartman said. "So, can you like steal people's souls and stuff?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, I CAN…"

"Sweeeeet."

Kyle raised his hand a little. "Uh, what is a 'Wechuge'?"

"I told you, a big scary monster. A big scary monster with vast amounts of power and reign over life and death."

"So, that's what you are?" Stan asked.

"Yes."

"…Show us."

"What?"

"Please don't," Lucy said.

"I would," Brooke told him, "but I haven't been able to control my powers for a while. Not since…eh, well, a while."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, if I turn into the big scary monster, I'll probably start rampaging and burning the whole town down." She told him sternly. "And I'll probably eat you!"

"Never mind," he winced.

"Exactly!"

"Wait," Kyle said. "If those are your real parents then…who the hell are those people downstairs?!"

She shrugged. "Beats me."

He stared at her, utterly stunned.

"And if you're a Princess," Cartman said, "why the hell are you HERE?"

"Ah," she nodded. "Well, during the end of my mother's reign, a race called the Nightmares showed up. They were monsters from a realm all their own, ruled over by the Nightmare King. Except, Nightmares are strange, in that, they don't have souls of their own. Even plants have souls. But these things are like amorphous, hollow blobs of vileness that thrive off of fear and devour souls. Souls are very important in the Nether, and it's full of them, so the Nightmares came to destroy the kingdom and devour the souls. So, there was a big war.

Normally, immortal beings come back when they're killed. As long as the soul remains, they can always come back. But if the soul is destroyed…they're gone forever. With no trace of existence. Mother's soul was destroyed. She was defeated, and her soul was devoured by the Nightmare King, but not before she dealt him some serious damage. Too injured to continue, he and his Nightmares retreated back to their world.

About two years ago, they came back. I couldn't defeat him, not after he had taken Mother's powers, but I did manage to seal most of them and their 'king' in their own world for now. But who knows how long that will last… In the meantime, I was sent away from my home to hide from the remaining Nightmares. I'm the only remaining Wechuge, and without the existence of one, the Nether will perish."

"Why?" Darren asked.

"Mother was a being that some people would refer to as a 'God'. The Nether was her own world, and all of the things in it were made by her. So, that entire world's existence is dependent on HER existence."

"But she doesn't exist anymore?"

"No. But I do, and my soul was split from hers. Offspring's souls are always made up of split pieces of the parents' souls that merge together and make something entirely new but also the same. So, because of that, the Nether lives on."

There was another long silence. "You know," Stan said. "If it weren't for the fact that I saw Lucy as a werewolf two nights ago, I probably wouldn't believe you."

"I wouldn't either," Riley spoke up. "Except for the fact that these weird little dragon things poofed out of nowhere and all…" He looked down at Pixie in his lap, who smiled up at him.

"Look," Brooke said. "I'm not supposed to tell ANYONE about all of this. But after what happened the other night, I felt bad for not telling. I told you guys here now because I consider you my friends. So, YOU BETTER NOT TELL ANYONE!"

They all flinched away from her, each of them mumbling promises to keep quiet.

"Even Cartman?" Darren pointed at the large boy.

She sighed and looked away. "I GUESS…but I still hate him."

"Whatever," Cartman scoffed.

"Why am I included in this?" Riley asked.

She shrugged. "Because I like you. And you seem trustworthy."

"Oh," he blushed a little and looked away.

"What's gonna happen when the Nightmare King comes back?" Butters asked.

"We're hoping to have that under control," Spike was the one who answered this time. "The Elder Council has a plan in motion. Let's just hope it works."

"What's the plan?" Clyde asked, more out of nosiness than anything.

"I'm afraid I do not know."

"None of us here do," Lucy told him.

"You mean they came up with a whole plan but didn't even tell their Princess?" Kenny tilted his head.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Grandpa probably doesn't even have a real plan."

"Grandpa?"

"He's not really my Grandpa. I just call him that because he's old as dirt."

Pixie chortled, earning him a quick leer from Spike. "Princess," Spike told her. "You know that Quinzel has yours and everyone else's best interest at heart."

"Yeah, yeah… So anyways," she addressed the boys again. "Of course Spike here is going to have to report all this to them. That means that it won't be long before the whole kingdom knows. So, don't be too surprised if you get any unexpected, annoying, guests now."

"What do you mean?" Kyle asked.

"I have to stay hidden because the Nightmares can sense my power. But my loyal subjects don't have to hide. They're now very likely to want to meet the people that I trusted enough to disclose all of this information to. I'm used to them, but regular people might find them a bit…bothersome. I mean, they're all monsters and spirits after all. They're not inherently evil, but they ARE mischievous at heart. Only the Pygmy Dragons like Spike and Pixie are more helpful than hindersome."

"They ARE dragons?" Kenny looked over at Spike sitting on the bedside table.

"_Very_ small ones, yes."

"Wait," Darren said. "Dragons are real?"

"Lucy turned into a werewolf and I just told you that I'm really a giant monster that rules over a kingdom of monsters, and THAT'S what you choose to question?"

"…I mean…"

"Whatever," she made a shooing motion with her hand. "You guys can go now. Get out of here. And Cartman." He stopped and looked over his shoulder at her. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't think that you now hold anything over me. If you tell anyone about any of this, you WILL regret it. I CAN, in fact, steal souls. And fun fact, souls can still feel pain."

He gulped and slowly turned back around to leave.

"So," Clyde looked over at her. "Do you wanna go get a smoothie or something?"

"Yeah, okay."

Kenny stared, stunned, at them as they passed him to leave the room. Brooke didn't seem to notice, but Clyde glanced over at him and shot him a cheeky smirk. "What the fuck?!" he said after they left.

"Well," Darren shrugged. "It's not like YOU were making any moves."

"Wha- What do you mean?!" he blushed. "I don't – I just – FUCK YOU!" He ran out of the room.

"Oh dear," Lucy tilted her head.

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Opening so many doors to more nonsense and fun hehehehe... Ah! Random info: Spike is Pixie's older brother, and the two of them are almost complete opposites. Spike is very formal and professional. He HATES being touched (he'll only accept Brooke touching him), and he's very serious all the time. Pixie is also formal, but not as serious and not a stickler for rules and formalities like Spike. Pixie LOVES being petted and carried, and he also loves to play and participate in activities with others. Spike will only appear when summoned by Brooke, Lucy, the Grim Reaper, or Quinzel. Pixie will show up for most anyone in hopes that it will get him out of paperwork duties. Spike's name, like most of the monsters, is a human-English translation of a language only known to the kingdom. It's the same language in that big spell book Brooke had. Pixie, on the other hand, was nicknamed 'Pixie' by Brooke when she was a toddler, so he kind of just adopted the name.**


	19. Chapter 19: Riley's Secrets

**Oh, more Riley plot. Lol, I remember what happens in the story but I can never remember which chapter it happens in...**

* * *

Riley was almost always with Butters. Mainly because Butters would follow him everywhere. Fortunately, Riley did not mind, in fact, he had quickly grown to enjoy the other boy's company. Outside of school, the role would change, and Riley would follow Butters wherever he wanted to go, which was usually Butters' own house, and sometimes, lately, it was Brooke's house. At first, Riley was uncomfortable, but he soon began to enjoy going there as well.

The girl was tomboyish and a bit strange at times, but despite her attitude at school or around Cartman, she was actually very kind and casual. She was easy to get along with and talk to, and she never seemed uncomfortable around him. Often times, if he wasn't outside, her dog, Sniper, would be with her. He seemed a very serious dog with everyone except Brooke, whom he would stare up adoringly at. Riley was fond of animals, so he liked interacting with all of her strange pets.

Sometimes when they would go, they would encounter that girl called Lucy. Riley knew her from his class, but since he avoided people, he never realized how intelligent and polite she was. Most of the time, Lucy would stay in the shed, but other times, she would be with Brooke in her room when they arrived.

Another person who was always there was that kid, Kenny. Almost every time he and Butters went to Brooke's house, that boy would already be there. Riley noticed that, for the most part, the two of them appeared to be very relaxed around each other, but sometimes one of them, usually Kenny, would get nervous and antsy. He also noticed that the two of them usually sat very close to each other. So close at times, that they would be touching or leaning against each other. It was funny to him, because he had also realized that Brooke was not particularly fond of people touching her, but she seemed to be making an exception.

Another thing that Riley often did was sleep over at Butters'. He never asked to, nor did he ever assume, but Butters would usually ask if he wanted to. Actually, sometimes, ever since he learned a tad bit about Riley's father, he would insist that Riley stay, almost begging him to. Riley would agree most of the time; one, to appease Butters, and two, it was an excuse to avoid his father for a little longer. Unfortunately, he still had to return home sometimes. If he didn't, his father would certainly not take it lightly.

It had actually been about a week since Riley had stayed over at Butters' house, and after school that Friday, Butters had asked if he wanted to stay the weekend. "You ask me every weekend," Riley said. "Even on some school nights. Doesn't that bother your parents?"

"I don't think so," he replied. "They never say no. Oh, but my dad said he's going to start claiming you on his taxes or something."

Riley snorted, trying to hold in a laugh. "Sure. But I have to go pick up some stuff at my house first."

"I'll come with you!"

He flinched. "Eh, no, that's okay. I'll just meet you at your place."

"It's okay if you don't want me to meet your dad. I can wait outside while you go in and get your stuff."

"The neighborhood itself is not so great, either…"

"Well," he twiddled his thumbs. "I don't want you to go alone…"

"Butters…" Riley let out a defeated sigh. "Okay… But stay close to me, and DON'T wander off or talk to anybody."

"Okay." He smiled and grabbed Riley's hand. This was a habit that he had only recently started. When they would walk together, Butters would lightly hold Riley's hand the whole way.

Riley kept quiet the whole walk to Locke. As usual, Butters did most of the talking. Normally, Riley would add in little responses or remarks, but today he only listened numbly. As they turned down Locke Boulevard, he paused a moment to make sure that no one too bad was out and about before leading Butters along the tree-shaded sidewalk towards the other end of the place. Butters had stopped talking, and Riley could feel him tighten his hold on his hand as he glanced around nervously at the silent neighborhood.

"I told you…" Riley mumbled. He gave Butters' hand a comforting squeeze and gently pulled him closer as they walked. "Don't look around so scared-looking."

Butters focused his attention on the ground, trying not to look over at anyone that they passed. "You really do walk a long way," he said, trying to distract himself.

"It's good cardio," Riley said, and Butters couldn't tell if it was a joke or not.

They finally stopped at an old house that may have been white at some point in time, but was now yellowed and green with moss. The grass was almost as tall as them and filled with spikey weeds and thistles that were trying to overtake the stone pathway to the door. The mailbox was bent, looking as though it had been hit by something, and the little red flag dangled loosely from it. The front door looked like it had been attacked a few times as well.

Riley walked him all the way up to the front door then stopped and slipped his hand from Butters' grasp. He turned to him. "Wait here. Don't leave this spot. No matter what," he said firmly. "I'll only be a little bit."

"Okay," Butters nodded and watched him go inside. Suddenly feeling frightened without Riley by his side, he turned his back to the house so that he could face the neighborhood. He felt uneasy, like something was going to try and sneak up on him, and he was kind of glad that the grass was so tall, because it hid him from most of the neighborhood's sight. He tensed a little as a girl started walking over from across the street.

She looked about his age, maybe a little older, with tan skin and long black hair. She wore tight shorts and a loose red shirt that hung off her right shoulder, exposing a black strap over her shoulder. There was a strange, sweet smell coming from her that mingled with the scent of smoke. "You look lost," she said to him.

"Um, I-I'm just waiting for Riley." He took a small step back.

"Yeah. I saw you walking with him over here. I guess he's going make sure that his dad's not home, right?"

"Huh?"

"You seem nervous," she smirked. "Is it your first time? Don't worry. I've been with Riley before. He's a lot gentler than he seems like he would be."

"W-What are you talking about?"

She tilted her head at him. "Sex, dummy. What else?"

"Oh!" He took another step back. "Oh, uh, I'm… Wha- What?"

She stared at him, wide-eyed, for a second then laughed. "Oh! Is that not what's going on? My bad. He never hangs around anyone unless it's for something like that, so I just assumed. Well then, if it's not that, then what are you doing here?"

He was very anxious all of a sudden after hearing what she said. "I – I just…um…well ya see, we're friends and –"

"Friends?" she looked amazed. "Really? But Riley always hated the idea of friends. Are you sure you didn't misunderstand something?"

"What do you mean?"

"Wow, you're really innocent, aren't you?" She moved closer to him, gently pushing him against the wall of the house and leaning against him. "That's cute. Why don't you come over in the corner with me?"

"Uh, I-I'm not supposed to leave this spot!"

"That's fine," she smiled. "We can play right here."

"B-But…Wha- What are you gonna do?"

Before she could answer, the front door opened and Riley stepped out. He felt an immediate rush of fury and heat pass through him upon seeing the girl. "What the hell are you doing here?! I told you not to fucking come around here anymore!"

She pushed herself away from Butters and clicked her tongue. "I was just coming see if this new kid here wanted to play."

"Get away from him!" Riley snapped and stepped between them. "Get the fuck out of here!"

"You're no fun anymore." She shot him a glare and left them.

"Stupid fucking bitch," Riley muttered furiously to himself and hefted his bag over his shoulder. "Let's go, Butters." He walked away quickly.

Butters flinched from the anger in his tone, but hurried after him anyway. He followed a few steps behind Riley, watching him nervously and not saying anything until they had turned down a few more streets away from Locke. "R-Riley?"

"Didn't I tell you not to talk to anyone?" Riley suddenly halted and turned to snap at him.

He flinched. "I-I didn't mean to! I mean, she just – I…I'm sorry."

He looked away, suddenly feeling bad for yelling at him.

Butters shifted his feet nervously. "Was…was she your girlfriend? O-Or, ex-girlfriend?"

"No," he said firmly. "She never was. We were never even friends." He paused then asked slowly, "What did she tell you?"

"Um… She…asked why I was there. A-And said that – that you only bring people home to…um…to…and that you and her… Is that true?"

Riley knew exactly what he was trying to say. He clenched his fists, refusing to even look in Butters' direction, and kept walking. "I'll tell you later."

"Riley…" Butters said. "You…you can trust me."

"I said later!" He stopped and stomped his foot, causing Butters to jump back with a frightened squeak. Riley stood there for a long minute then quietly said over his shoulder, "I'll tell you later tonight. Whatever you want to know. Just…later."

They stood there silently for several more minutes before Butters went over to him and carefully slipped his hand into Riley's. Without another word, they continued walking.

The rest of the afternoon was silent between the two of them, and Riley wouldn't even look at Butters. This made Butters worried, feeling like Riley was mad at him. They had gone to bed early that night, but neither of them felt very tired. They were laying in the bed side-by-side each other with their heads propped up against the headboard, silently staring ahead at nothing until Riley spoke up.

"Well? What do you want to know?"

Surprised, Butters turned his head to look at him, but Riley was still staring ahead at nothing in particular, his expression unreadable. He looked down at his hands, trying to think of how to word his questions. "You and that girl…you've done…you had, um…"

"Yes."

He winced a little. "Oh… And you've…done it with other people, too?"

"Yes."

His stomach felt fluttery from some reason. "Oh. H-How many people?"

Riley took a moment to answer. "I don't remember."

"Oh… Did you…like it?"

"No. I didn't like it, and didn't like any of them."

He looked over at him again. "Really? Then…w-why did you do it? I mean, I-I thought people did that if they…you know…"

Riley subconsciously grabbed at his own forearm. "It was just…one of a few things I would do to…distract myself. At least, for a little bit."

"Distract yourself from what?" He noticed Riley's movement.

Riley hesitated. "From my…"

"From your dad?"

He shot a quick glance over at Butters and just as quickly looked away again. "Yeah…"

Butters stared at Riley's arm. He was starting to put some pieces together, and it made him scared for his friend. "When's the last time you –"

"It's been a while," he told him.

"Oh. Um, are _we _going to…to do that?"

Riley slowly looked over at him. He looked very tired all of a sudden. "Do you want to?"

"Uh, o-oh, um…I-I don't know, um… D-Do you?"

"No." He rolled over on top of him, hiding his face in Butters' neck. "Well, maybe…when we're older."

"Oh!" Butters felt his face and the inside of his chest heat up. "Well, okay. Um, how much older?"

Riley huffed, trying not to laugh at the question. "Old enough."

Butters had another question he desperately wanted to asked, but he was afraid that it would ruin this moment. He'd never felt so warm before. "Riley," he said at last.

"Mm?"

"If your dad is so mean to you, a-and he hurts you…why don't you tell someone?"

"I'm too afraid."

"But what if they could help?"

He nuzzled his head deeper into Butters' neck and wrapped his arms around him tightly. "No. I don't want to."

"Well, okay…" Butters hugged him, too. "But I'm here for you. If – If you ever need help, you can call me, a-and I'll come get you. No matter what. Because I-" he hesitated a moment. "You're my best friend, Riley."

It was so quiet after he had said this. He thought that maybe Riley had fallen asleep, so he just laid there feeling the other boy's heartbeat. Then, he felt another fluttery rush as he heard Riley say very quietly, "Thank you."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**So cute, so gay, so sad... Really though, Riley's been through and done some fucked up shit for a kid. Locke is an awful neighborhood. Actually, there's Locke Boulevard, where Riley lives, but the surrounding area is generally known as Locke. I guess you could call it a town or something, and the boulevard itself is on the border of Locke and South Park. A very big chunk of Locke's residents are children and teens rather than adults. Most of Locke is abandoned and falling apart and a smog of smoke and pollution keeps the area in overcast shadows.**


	20. Chapter 20: Lucy's Experiments

**Remember how Brooke mentioned that they might get some new 'visitors' now? Yeah. Meet Charles and Lamar.**

* * *

Monday morning was, as usual, incredibly dull and sleepy. The only interesting thing while they were waiting for the bus, was the strange little black book Brooke was looking in. She stood between Lucy and Kenny, Lucy at her right as usual and showing no interest in the book, so the only one of them that could lean over to look without drawing attention to himself was Kenny.

Whatever she was reading, it was in some other language or something, as he didn't recognize any of the characters and symbols. Every now and again, a symbol or group of characters would glow dimly, some purple, some gold, and, even less so, red. He glanced at the other boys who tilted their heads curiously at him, and he shrugged, deciding just to ask.

"Hey Brooke," he said, catching her attention. "What are you reading?"

"This?" She glanced back down at the pages. "Uh, it's a reaper's book."

"You got that from a reaper?"

"Wait," Darren said. "There's more than ONE reaper?"

"Actually, it's my dad's. And yes. My dad is the Grim Reaper. The OG reaper. Then there's myself and my brother. And there's also some creatures collectively referred to as reapers. I mean, people die all the time, and my dad's only one person. He's like the boss reaper. Anyways," she waggled the little book in her hand, "these little books help keep track of it all. It shows the time and place of death of people. It even says how they'll die, as well as a bunch of other stuff, but the information depends on the person. And it will only show the people that are going to die that day, specifically mortals."

"Can you change it?" Stan asked.

"Not by writing it, no. Change requires action. These little books are simple but also extremely complicated."

"Wait, wait, wait," Darren shook his hands. "Did you say something about your BROTHER? I didn't know you have a brother!"

"Oh," she focused her attention back solely on the book. "I HAD a brother…" Lucy looked over at her worriedly.

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because I didn't want to," she looked a little annoyed now. "Drop it." She skimmed over a page in the book then tensed, staring wide-eyed at it.

Kyle was playing with a little bouncy ball when he dropped it and moved to catch it before it reached the road. "Damnit," he muttered to himself as it slipped past his hands and bounced onto the black pavement. He glanced up and down the road before walking out into the middle to pick up the ball.

Brooke glanced up at him and dropped her book with a gasp. A vaguely familiar vehicle had suddenly turned down the road with an earsplitting screech, its rear end fishtailing a little as it zoomed towards them.

Kyle had only heard the truck behind him, feeling a surge of fear at not knowing how close it was. At first, he wasn't even sure what happened. He heard the screech of the tires and revving of the engine as it picked up speed, then felt something knock him over from the side as he heard a loud, horrid splattering noise and felt the vibrations of the large vehicle zoom past him, leaving a thick cloud of smog in its wake. He coughed and swung his arm, trying to clear the air around himself, then got back to his feet and hurried back to the sidewalk. "What happened?" he coughed out.

"I don't know!" Stan said. "Dude, are you okay?"

"I think so," he looked over himself, not seeing any blood or feeling any pain besides his right elbow, which had hit the ground when he fell.

"Holy fuck, Brooke!" Kenny shouted.

As the exhaust cleared, they could now make out a bloody mess of entrails and body parts dragged along the road, as well as what remained of a dark blue schoolbag and its contents. All of the boys looked utterly horrified, while Lucy only looked just a tad disturbed and said, "Oh dear…"

"Did she just fucking DIE?!" Darren yelled.

"Jesus Christ!" Cartman said. "They killed Jesus!"

"Shut up!" Darren yelled at him. "This isn't a fucking joke!"

"I'm not joking!"

"Dude, Kyle," Stan said. "Brooke just saved your life!" Kyle only stared, open-mouthed at the scene, unable to find words.

"Why the fuck did she do that?!" Kenny shouted. "I would've rather HIM die!"

"What?!" Kyle suddenly jumped.

"Or me!" he ignored him.

"Please," Lucy said calmly, "relax. She'll be fine, I assure you."

"What?"

"Remember, as long as the soul remains, she'll be fine. A truck couldn't possibly kill her. And – are you…crying?"

"No!" He wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

"I am!" Darren sniffled, rubbing the tears from his eyes. "Oh my god!"

"Oh yeah," Cartman said. "She's a Whatchu Gay."

"Wechuge," Lucy corrected him.

"Yeah, that."

"So, she's gonna come back?" Kyle asked.

"Yes, of course." Lucy looked at the time. "Likely before the school bus gets here, too. Ah, yes, there we go." She gestured to the bloody mess on the road. Strange little blue flames had formed on all of the pieces, engulfing them and then vanishing with them after a few moments, leaving only a trail of stained pavement. "That looked rather painful, though…"

"Dude," Kyle said. "That could have been me…"

Lucy picked up the little black book and scanned over a few pages. She stopped on one and took in a very quiet gasp. "Oh dear! That's what I thought…"

"What is it?" Stan asked.

"Kyle was due to die today. Just now."

"WHAT?!" Kyle flinched so hard that he almost hurt himself.

Lucy shook her head a little as she read the page. "How awful…" She closed the book and it vanished in a burst of blue flames. "That would have been so devastating. I suppose she didn't like that idea, so she pushed you out of the way. Though, reapers are not supposed to STOP deaths from happening…but she IS an exception I suppose. Still, I imagine that Quinzel will have a few words for her."

"A FEW doesn't even cut it!" They turned to see Brooke walking towards them, not a single scratch on her. She dusted her jeans off. "I would have been back sooner if I didn't have to sit there and listen to him and Dad fuss me! You're not supposed to interfere, you're not supposed to get yourself hit by trucks like that, you're not supposed to have my book!" she said it in mocking tones. "Whatever. Like I'm just gonna sit there and watch when I know my friend is going to die! You're not supposed to know that anyway," she mocked again. "You're an exception to the rules and blah, blah, blah!"

"Normally I'd agree with them," Lucy told her, "but I'm also very glad that you saved him…"

Darren and Kenny suddenly ran over and hugged Brooke tightly. "You're alive!" Kenny exclaimed.

"I thought I lost my best friend!" Darren said.

She had to reposition her feet so as not to fall under their combined weight. She struggled a moment then finally managed to move her head between theirs and gasped for air. "Oxygen – still essential! Hug – too tight!" They both released her and she gasped again. "Oh man, I was getting light-headed."

"Why didn't you tell us you could do that?!" Kenny asked.

"Yeah!" Darren added. "You can't go pulling shit like that! We're still new to this shit!"

She stood up straight and shrugged. "Sorry," she said genuinely. "That's only the third time I've ever died my whole life, so I didn't think it mattered."

"This has happened before!?"

"Well, not THIS…"

"I think I need to sit down," Darren held his head.

"That's okay," Lucy told him. "The bus has just turned down the street."

"I can't believe you sacrificed yourself for ME!" Kyle told Brooke.

"Yeah," Cartman muttered spitefully. "Me neither."

She shrugged again. "It was…kind of instinctual, actually. I'm just glad YOU'RE okay."

"Thanks," he smiled a little.

.

"All right everyone," Mr. Garrison said. "Take out last night's homework, and I'll come pick it up." He paused at Brooke's desk. "Where is YOUR homework?"

"Uh, it's…gone the way of the dodo."

"What?"

"It's gone. I did it, but it's gone."

"What? What do you mean it's gone?"

"Um, I…my _school bag_ got run over by a truck this morning, and all of my books and papers got shredded."

He stared blankly at her.

"It's true, Mr. Garrison," Kyle told him. "I almost got hit by that truck, but she, uh, threw her bag and knocked me out of the way. She saved my life!" Stan, Kenny, and Darren all spoke their assurances.

"Hmm, you normally turn in your homework every day, so I guess I'll let it slide…this time." He walked past her to collect the rest of the papers.

Time passed slowly that morning. Brooke glanced up at the clock on the wall; it was almost lunchtime. She was just thinking about how awfully boring the rest of the day was going to be when she heard someone whispering to her from somewhere.

"Psst… Hey!"

She glanced around, but none of the other kids around her seemed to be the culprit.

"Down here!" another voice whispered.

"Wha-" She looked under her desk.

Protruding from the floor beneath her desktop were two big heads that resembled large fox or wolf skulls. They had glowing orbs for eyes in their sockets, one with yellow and the other with green. "Heyyyy!" one of them smiled.

"Heyyyyyyyy!" the other whispered as well.

"What are you two doing here?!" Brooke hissed through her teeth.

"We came to visit!"

"Yeah!"

"How ya doin'?"

"Wha- Get out of here before someone sees you!" she fussed.

"Brooke," Mr. Garrison's voice said. She quickly sat up in her seat and looked at him. "Who are you talking to?"

"Huh? Oh, uh…I– I wasn't."

"Oh yeah? Then what was so interesting under your desk, huh?"

She tapped her fingers on her desktop, trying to think of an excuse. She didn't have any papers or writing tools, and she hadn't bothered to borrow any either, so saying she just dropped something was out of the question. She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted when one of the heads beneath her desk sneezed.

"Bless you," the other said.

"Thanks!"

Brooke rolled her eyes and face-palmed.

Tweek, who sat in the desk behind her, suddenly shouted. "AHHGH! What are those things!?"

The other kids turned to look. "Uh-oh!" One of the heads said. "Charles, we've been caught! Run!" The two heads pulled themselves down and vanished beneath the floor.

"Oh no…" Brooke sighed, knowing what was coming next.

"What in the world were –" Mr. Garrison was interrupted by a large purple and black vortex opening in the back of the classroom as large, armored figures stomped out from it in single-file. They were black and shiny, like polished obsidian, with glowing purple in the spaces between the body parts and joints, and each carried a large weapon like a battle axe or claymore.

"INITIATING CAPTURE AND MEMORY ERASURE." A deep, frightening voice reverberated through the armor of one of the figures. It suddenly reached out and grabbed Tweek, lifting him up from the ground, equal to its face, and a strange energy shot from its helmet and surrounded the boy's head.

The other children screamed and ran out of the classroom, along with Mr. Garrison. Brooke just slowly shook her head and stood up as the bell for lunch rang. _Those two idiots_, she thought.

Despite how large and slow-moving the armored figures were, it did not actually take them long to corner and snatch up all of the children from the class, as well as Mr. Garrison who had tried to hide in a janitor's closet. Unfortunately, they also had to catch quite a few people from other classes as well, since the bell for lunch had released them from their classrooms and the commotion attracted them, too. By the time school should've been over, they had taken care of pretty much everyone in the entire building, aside from a select few who were standing outside the building and watching the other children chatting casually as they left to go home. None of them seemed to remember or have any inkling of what had happened.

"Wow," Stan remarked. "They really have no idea that giant scary suits of armor came and messed with their heads."

"Nope," Brooke replied. "Their memories for today have been changed."

"Why didn't they change ours?"

Other than Brooke herself, the only ones that the figures had left were Lucy and all of the boys that Brooke had invited to her house the other day with Spike and Pixie.

"Yeah," Kenny said. "One of them caught me and picked me up, but then it said something about recognizing me and just gently put me back down and kept going. I almost shit myself!"

Lucy eyed him oddly.

"They're not going to bother with the people I've decided to tell my secrets to," Brooke said. "Normally they recognize without having to actually grab you, but I guess it threw them off since you always have your face covered with that hood."

"What WERE those things?" Kyle asked.

"The royal guard."

"What?! Really?"

"Just a handful of them, but yeah."

"What are they, though?" Darren asked.

She shrugged. "Just suits of armor and weapons infused with my mother's old magic. They're not alive or anything, just hollow shells. Usually, they just stand somewhere and, well, guard, but sometimes…this happens."

"Why?"

"Mother thought it best that mortals know as little as possible about the kingdom and its inhabitants. Just a way to protect her people, is all. Humans can be…violent and greedy."

"And monsters aren't?" Darren tilted his head at her.

"Depends on the species."

"Okay," Stan said, "so what were those talking heads under your desk?"

"Oh," she looked a little annoyed now. "Charles and Lamar…"

"Ah," Lucy nodded, suddenly understanding everything. "I see."

"That's us!"

The group turned to see two big, skeleton creatures pop out of the ground. Other than their eye color, they looked exactly alike. Canid skulls for heads, long arms with broad, five-fingered hands ending in sharp claws, large chests, and not a single scrap of skin, muscles, tendons, or flesh of any kind. They also had large wing bones on their backs but no wing webbing in between, and the lower half of their bodies were still below the ground.

"Heyyyy!"

"Heyyyyyyyy!"

"You two are still here?!" Brooke said. "Ugh. You two dummies take bone-heads to new levels…"

"Haha! Good one, Princess!" Lamar, the one with green eyes smiled.

Although they were halfway in the ground, they still looked down at the children. "Sorry, Princess!" Charles said. "We thought that would go…eh, differently."

"You two know better than to let yourselves be seen like that. That could've been a whole lot worse!" The two creatures lowered their heads like scolded dogs.

"Dude," Darren took half a step closer to them. "What ARE they?"

"We're banshees!" Lamar perked up.

"Yeah!" Charles added happily.

"Banshees? I thought banshees were like spirits or ghosts that looked like human ladies and went around screaming people to death."

Lamar laughed. "Haha, yeah! No. No mortal human has ever met a banshee and lived, or kept their memories, to tell anyone what they look like."

"Except you guys!" Charles added.

Their appearance was a bit frightening, being only skeletons of…some kind, but their attitudes made them much less so. The boys exchanged glances; they kind of wanted to pet them.

"We DO screech though," Charles told them. "And it DOES kill people… Wanna hear?!"

"NO!" everyone said together.

"Aw… Well, okaayyy."

"This is…so weird," Kyle said. He had gotten bold and went over to the banshees and was touching their ribs. "You guys are literally just…skeletons!"

"Yup!" Lamar said.

Charles giggled. "That tickles!"

"You can FEEL that?!" Kyle brushed his hand down the ribcage again and Charles was in a fit of laughter over it.

"Haha! Oh! Stop, stop!" He shook himself like a dog. "Phew! You're a touchy fella."

"Ooh, touch me next!" Lamar lowered his head to Kyle.

"Are you like, DOGS or something?" he obliged and rubbed Lamar's head.

"Or something," Brooke said. "Banshees are just…weird. Though, now that I think about it, a lot of the monsters like being petted."

"Except for Spike," Lucy added pointedly.

"Yeah, he's a stickler for neatness. That includes his feathers."

"He calls it professionalism," Lucy smirked.

"We like this kid," Lamar said, straightening himself after Kyle had stopped petting him. "We were supposed to pick up his soul today, but he's not dead!"

"Huh?!" Kyle jumped.

"Ah, so THAT'S why you're here," Brooke nodded.

"Yeah!"

"You guys are reapers?" Kenny tilted his head at them.

"Yeah!" Lamar said again, just as cheerfully. "Hey, you seem familiar…"

"I do?"

"Are you guys going to kill me and take my soul?" Kyle asked worriedly.

The two banshees looked down at him then looked at each other and said, "Nah!"

"Normally, yes!" Charles smiled.

"But the Princess herself didn't want you dead," Lamar said. "So, if we did THAT, she'd probably put us in the wall!"

"The wall?" Darren echoed.

"The rat wall?" Cartman asked.

"No," Charles told him. "THE wall!"

"All right," Brooke shooed them away. "Get out of here before someone sees you."

"Okay!"

"Byyeeee!"

They dropped below the ground, leaving not a single hole, crack, or trace of any kind that they had been there.

"Those guys were annoying," Cartman told Brooke.

She sighed. "I know. But I love them anyway… Those idiots."

**…**

Looking for Brooke, the boys had gone over to her house only to be told by her 'mother' that Brooke had left out the backdoor earlier and had yet to return from wherever she had gone. They filed out through the backdoor and into the yard, finding that Sniper was also nowhere around, likely having followed his master, so they made their way to the shed to see if Lucy was there.

They knocked first, but there was no response. Darren exchanged looks with them and tried the doorknob; it was unlocked. Inside, Lucy was standing at the tables in the back corner and writing something in a notebook as she examined a black and white rat. The rat had some kind of odd little helmet on its head that was attached with wires to a small monitor displaying strange text and symbols none of the boys recognized. Lucy would glance between the rat and the monitor then write something down. She picked up a small metal pen-shaped object and lightly touched the tip of it to the rat's flank. It produced a tiny shock that made the rat squeak with surprise, but it didn't seem particularly bothered and continued snacking on a Cheesy Poof that it was holding. Lucy wrote something else down then suddenly appeared to notice the boys.

"Oh," she closed the book and it vanished in a puff of smoke. "Hello boys. What brings you here?"

"Uh," Darren said. "We were looking for Brooke."

"Oh, she took Sniper for a walk to Tweek's house. She's going to help him with English homework. She's very good with writing and literature, you know," she added. "You really should have checked in before you bothered to walk all the way here."

"Uh, sorry…"

"Lucy," Kyle said carefully, eyeing the rat. "What are you doing with that rat?"

"Hm?" She turned back to the little animal, removed the helmet, and gave it another snack. "Thank you, little one," she told it before turning back to the boys. "Just running some tests, is all. Nothing too extensive or stressful for him."

"You…shocked it."

"Oh, this?" she held up the little pen. "I assure you it does not hurt. It simply stimulates nerves and muscles with a small pulse. Not painful, but a bit…tingly. The nonmagical creatures of this world are quite fascinating. Very simple things they are, but also quite complex."

"What was that thing on its head?" Stan asked.

"It measures brain waves," she replied. "This monitor can translate those brain waves and thoughts into text so that I can get a better idea of what the animal is feeling or thinking. This one, Brooke calls him Cookie, is mainly only concerned with food."

Cartman was eyeing the bag of Cheesy Poofs on the table. "So, you give them snacks for sitting there with a helmet and doing nothing?"

"Well, I have them do different tasks," she said. "Again, nothing very stressful and never anything painful. But yes, in exchange, I give them treats. Animals are very food motivated. The rats are particularly fond of Cheesy Poofs and yogurt bites. Though, some of them prefer berries and seeds."

"So, hypothetically, if I let you do experiments on me, you'd give me free food?"

The other boys looked over at him oddly.

"I would love to have a human test subject," she mused. "Unlike animals, humans require their consent, of course, so if you're volunteering then that's wonderful. Yes, I'd gladly give you any food that you'd like in exchange for your cooperation."

"Deal."

"Cartman!" Stan fussed.

"What? She said it won't hurt."

"Indeed," Lucy handed Cartman a small stack of papers. "Please read this and sign accordingly." As she passed by Kyle, she prodded him on his hip with the little pen and smirked when he jumped with a little sound of surprise. She went back to the table and sat down on a stool. "Now, is there anything else you boys needed?"

"N-Not really…" Kyle rubbed where she had prodded him.

"Actually," Darren said," could you tell us about Brooke's brother? She won't talk about him. She got mad at me yesterday for bringing it up again."

"I'm not surprised," Lucy said sympathetically. "It must still be very hard for her. Emotional wounds never fully heal."

"What happened to him?"

"Well, he…died."

"He died?!"

"How?" Kenny asked. "Wasn't he like her?"

"You mean a Wechuge? Immortal? Yes," she nodded, "he was. You remember the Nightmares she told you about?" They nodded. "And you remember how she said her mother's soul was destroyed? Meaning, that despite being an immortal creature, she was killed." They nodded again.

"Is that what happened to her brother?" Kyle asked.

She nodded. "Desmond, Brooke's brother, was two years older, so he was the next in line after their mother. When she was destroyed, he had to take her place. He was only four years old. Four years later, the Nightmare King returned, and Desmond had to fight him. It ended in the same result. Desmond's soul was destroyed, but he had managed to damage the Nightmare King so much that it forced the abomination to flee. Eight years is when a Wechuge is first able to take on its full-sized form, but the Nightmare King is bigger. Brooke did not take his death very well…" she paused, looking very sad now as she remembered. "It turns out that she has a greater power within her than even her mother did, but as a result of her heartbreak and grief, she lost control over that power. She still has yet to be able to fully control herself, and has had a few _outbursts_ that resulted in mass destruction of the things around her. Just two years ago, the Nightmares and their king returned once again, and the third war took place. Brooke had to assume her true form while trying not to lose control, so she came up with the idea of sealing him away in his realm for now while she tries to tame her power. Hopefully, she'll have it under control by the time he finds a way to break through… The Nether and its inhabitants cannot exist without her."

"Dude," Stan said after she had finished. "That's heavy."

"I kind of wanna cry," Darren sniffed.

"She was in a WAR too?!" Kenny exclaimed.

"Yes, as was I." Lucy nodded.

"WHAT?!"

The boys all stared at her with shocked and sad expressions, aside from Cartman who glanced at them then casually walked over to Lucy and handed her the signed paperwork.

"Ah, thank you," Lucy said. She placed the papers in a filing cabinet below the table. "I do hope that you will all understand and forgive the Princess now for any harshness she has shown over the subject. I would recommend not mentioning it or the late Prince any further to her as it may result in...problems. If she so wishes, then she will speak of it on her own terms."

"Of – Of course," Kyle said, exchanging a look with the others. "Um, what about YOU, Lucy?"

"Hm?" she tilted her head.

"You dealt with all of that, too. Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm quite all right. Of course, it is upsetting for me as well, but much more so for Brooke. Well, I was very upset about Desmond, myself. Being raised as the Prince's personal advisor, I was very close with him, and he was very close with Brooke. As a result, I have also always been very close with her, too. After he was destroyed, I was then to be her personal advisor instead. I spent even more time with her after that. She was a very depressed person. Her father got her Sniper as a gift, hoping that he would help her, too. And he did, a little. As did Charles and Lamar, believe it or not. They were the Princess's personal playmates, so they are quite obsessed with her." She giggled a little. "My own mother was destroyed in the first war, and my father is the captain of the royal guard and soldiers. Although he and I are on good terms, I never spent much personal time with him. So, it was Desmond and Brooke that I considered my family. They made me feel like I belonged. And, of course, I still do. It's nice to have friends like that." She turned away and carefully scooped up the rat in her hands. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must return Cookie to his cage downstairs. Brooke should be back soon, I believe."

"Wait," Kenny stopped her. "One more thing…"

"Yes?"

"Those 'outbursts' you mentioned. What exactly causes that?"

"Oh, well if she tries to take on her true form there is currently an extremely high chance of her losing control and rampaging. Other than that, using too much of her magic in a short amount of time can trigger it, as well as becoming enraged."

"Enraged?"

"We've seen her get pretty mad before," Stan said. "But she never seemed like she was going to turn into a giant monster or anything."

"Then," Lucy said simply, "you have never actually seen her truly angry. Her energy might seem aggressive at times, but truly she is very patient and kind. Annoyed and furious are not the same things." She paused a moment and thought about it. "I suppose there could possibly be other emotional triggers, too. Like the first time she lost control. That was after she found out what had happened to Desmond. Anything else?"

"No," Kenny replied. "Thanks…"

"Of course." Lucy bowed a little.

Lucy, like usual, was right. They left the shed just in time to see Brooke entering the backyard with Sniper at her side. She stopped upon seeing them while Sniper headed straight for the water dish beside his doghouse. "What are you guys doing here?" They all looked very depressed, aside from Cartman who looked rather pleased with himself about something.

"I signed up for Lucy's experiments in exchange for free food," he smiled.

"Oh," she said. "Uhm, okay?"

Darren walked up to her, stopping about a foot away. He said nothing, sniffed, then suddenly hugged her tightly.

She tensed, feeling awkward at the sudden action without any explanation.

He let go after a moment and walked away, still not saying anything.

"What. The…?" She watched him leave.

**…**

They watched curiously as Lucy fitted an odd helmet onto Cartman's head. She had joined them at their table in the cafeteria and pulled the machine out of her bag; none of them were entirely sure how she had gotten it in there in the first place. It looked almost exactly like the one they had seen on the rat two days ago but much larger. It also had wires attached to it that trailed down to a little monitor she had placed upon the table. She sat down beside him, pulling out a notebook, and began writing as she surveyed the screen.

Cartman watched her the whole time with mild curiosity as he ate his hamburger. He didn't say anything until about a minute or so after she had sat down. "So, are you going to ask me questions or – how does this work?"

"I don't have any questions for you right now, no." She wrote something down.

"Am I supposed to do something?"

"No, no. Do whatever you like. Or nothing. It doesn't matter yet."

"Ookay…" he ate a fry. "Hm, what if I ask YOU questions?"

"That's fine," she told him.

"This is so weird," Darren muttered quietly to Stan.

"Seriously."

"Hm, Lucy," Cartman said. Brooke recognized what she referred to as his 'bullshit tone' and leered across the table at him.

"Yes, Eric?" She was still looking at the monitor and writing.

"What are your thoughts on Jews?"

"Of course," Brooke sighed.

Kyle loudly placed his drink down and glared at him from beside Brooke.

"Jews?" She actually seemed surprised by the question and looked at him. "Are you referring to people who practice Judaism? The religion?"

"Yeah. What do you think of them and their 'religion'?"

"Well I – I've never really thought about it before."

"Did you know that the Jews killed Jesus, our one and only savior? They're evil. And greedy."

She stared at him for a moment, her expression completely unreadable, then wrote something in her book without even looking down at it. "Eric," she said. "People killed him. The mortal humans. Their religion was irrelevant."

"It was too! They killed him because they didn't believe he was the son of God! They killed him because – because…they're Jews!"

"Irrelevant," she said simply and looked back at the monitor.

"Are you a Jew?" he asked.

"No. Religion is not a concern in the Nether."

"Did you know that Kyle is a Jew?"

"I did not." She seemed unconcerned and continued writing.

"Well, let me tell you about some of the bad stuff HE'S done!"

"Shut up, Cartman!" Kyle snapped.

"He ate my farts in front of thousands of people, on a big screen."

She paused a moment in her writing and eyed Cartman. "In – Interesting…" She continued writing.

"Oh god…" Kyle hid his face in his hands and shook his head. "This fucking asshole…"

"You ate his farts?" Darren looked over at him.

"He had AIDS once, too."

He threw his hands down. "Because YOU gave it to me!"

Everyone at the table paused, Brooke, Lucy, and Darren all looking at Kyle.

"It – n-not like that!"

"No, no," Darren told him. "I know there's different ways to get that. But, like, what the fuck?"

"HE had AIDS, and he snuck in my room at night and put his DNA in my mouth to give them to ME!"

"Had?" Brooke said.

"Yeah, it's gone now."

"Well," Cartman yelled back. "KYLE kicks babies!"

Lucy made a strange huffing sound, as if she almost laughed, and there was a very faint smirk on her face. "What?"

"I -" Kyle sat back in his seat and looked away. "It's a – a game I play with my little brother. He – He's fine!"

She blinked at him, the smile on her face more noticeable now, then couldn't help herself anymore and started laughing.

They all stared at her. Brooke looking the most amazed. "Lucy is…laughing?" she said.

"Why are you confused about that?" Darren asked.

"Her sense of humor is almost nonexistent. The fact that she's laughing…and about THAT… I am so confused."

Lucy took a breath and recomposed herself, a smile still lingering on her pretty face. She brushed her long bangs to the side and behind her ear. "Sorry. I was a bit caught off guard. Continue."

Sometime after school, Lucy had met up with them on their way home and handed Cartman a bag of Cheesy Poofs. "For your troubles," she told him.

"Aw sweet, extra cheesy!" He grabbed the bag and immediately tore it open.

Lucy quietly watched him eat all of the bag's contents, a mildly curious expression on her face. "Did you like it?" she asked once he had finished.

"Mm, mm-hm." He was licking his fingers.

"Good." She stared silently at him for another minute longer then said, "It was poisoned."

He froze. "What?"

She pointed at the now empty bag. "Those Cheesy Poofs. I injected a special toxin in each piece. You have two hours and twenty-seven minutes and counting."

"WHAT?!"

"Dude," Stan said.

"THIS BITCH FUCKING POISONED ME!?"

Lucy seemed completely unperturbed by his insult and started writing something in her notebook. Two hours and twenty-FIVE minutes…"

"AAHHGHGH!" He started running around screaming and flailing then came back to her and got on his knees. "Please! Give me the antidote! I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you mad!"

"I'm not mad," she told him. "Only curious. Besides, how could you be sorry if you don't know what you did? Anyways, there is no antidote." She wrote something again. "Two hours and nineteen minutes…"

He screamed and ran away again.

"Lucy," Kyle said. "Did you actually poison him?"

"Oh yes," she nodded. "But…I did not say that he was going to die." She looked rather pleased with herself. "And you think I don't have a sense of humor."

Brooke laughed. "That's a really messed up sense of humor, Lucy!"

"So, what IS gonna happen to him?"

"Oh, in just over two hours he'll become very close friends with his toilet, you know?"

"Oh. Ohhhhh."

"Ow!" Darren jumped and rubbed at his butt.

"What's your problem?" Brooke asked.

"My alien probe has been kind of hurting lately."

"You didn't shit that thing out yet?"

"Alien probe?" Lucy echoed curiously.

"Yeah, I got abducted by aliens our first day here and they shoved a weird probe thing up my ass. It was cool at first, but now it hurts."

"I see… If you don't mind, I'd like to run some tests on that."

He shrugged.

"Very good. Let's go."

"Oh, now? Okay."

Darren followed her all the way to Brooke's backyard and into the shed. He waited and watched while she moved some things and set up a table in the center of the room with a large light over it like the kind you'd find in a dentist's office or hospital operating room.

"Remove your trousers and underwear, please," she told him as she gathered up a few more things. "Then lay face down on that table."

"O-kay?" He slowly started to remove his pants and underwear, feeling awkward now. "Is this gonna hurt?"

"I do not know yet." She pulled on long blue gloves that went almost up to her shoulders.

Once he had settled himself on the table, she walked around out of his field of view. She took a small flashlight and a long, thin metal rod and barely pushed the tip of the rod in. She jumped back as a strange satellite dish suddenly popped out and looked around.

"Oh dear," she said. "How fascinating." She quickly clamped something at the base of it, preventing it from retreating back inside of the boy. It jerked a couple times, trying to go back in, then stopped and continued blindly surveying the room. Lucy went back to her tables and grabbed a little machine and some kind of scanner then went back to Darren and passed the scanner over him and the probe. "Oh, oh dear…"

"What?" Darren asked worriedly. He couldn't see what was going on.

"You have a very worrisome amount of radiation leaking into your body from this object. As well as…lead poisoning?"

"What?! Get it out!"

"Yes, of course." She made to move the clamp but the probe suddenly pulled itself back inside of him.

"Agh!" he winced.

Lucy gasped with surprise. "Oh," she tried to prod it with the rod but it wouldn't react. "Hm…I suppose I'll have to pull it out."

"Heyyyy!"

"Heyyyyyyyyy!"

Darren shouted as the two banshees, Charles and Lamar, suddenly popped into existence halfway out of the floor. "Jesus Christ!"

"Haha, whoops, did we scare you?" Lamar smiled.

"Sorryyy!" Charles sang.

"Hey…what are you two doing?" Lamar leaned over to look at Lucy standing behind Darren.

"Ah," she said. "Impeccable timing you two. Come over here and help me with this."

"Eh, okay?"

"Wait," Darren was super worried now. "You're letting THEM help?"

"Don't worry, they're not the most intelligent species, but banshees follow orders remarkably well."

"Yeah!" Charles said. "Wait…"

"Now," Lucy continued. "Play rock, paper, scissors."

The banshees tilted their heads but didn't question her openly. They turned to each other and played a three-round game of rock, paper, scissors. Lamar won. "Hooray!" he cheered.

"Good. Lamar, you get to retrieve the probe from Darren's anus."

"Huh?"

"Hooray!" Charles cheered.

"Come here and let me lubricate your arm."

Lamar pulled himself free from the ground, revealing hind legs and a very long tail. The body shape reminded Darren of the Xenomorphs from Aliens. "Wow," Darren said. "I just assumed you guys were like conjoined twins or something down there."

Being about eight feet tall, Lamar had to squat down in the shed. He held his left arm out and allowed Lucy to apply a gel all along his arm and hand.

"All right," she said after. "Carefully insert your left hand into his anus and locate the probe."

"Okay. Carefully…" He slowly raised his hand to Darren's rear, paused a moment, then thrust his whole fist into the boy's anus.

"Ah!" Darren jumped.

"Hey, don't clench your butt cheeks!" Lamar said.

"I said, CAREFULLY," Lucy scolded him.

"Sorry," he looked embarrassed. "I panicked."

"Now, CAREFULLY locate the probe."

"Okay. Carefully locate probe. Got it." He slowly pushed his arm further in, getting all the way up to his elbow. "Eh, nothin' yet… Hmm…"

Lucy and Charles watched, mouths gaping slightly, as Lamar ended up with almost his entire arm inside of the boy. "How…bizarre," Lucy remarked.

"Mm-hm," Lamar finally found something. "Oh! Got something!"

"All right, now slowly, CAREFULLY pull it out so I can sever it."

Darren didn't like the sound of the word 'sever.'

"Okaayy!" Lamar grabbed hold of the object and slowly started pulling it. He had to brace himself against the side of the table halfway through the process as it started fighting him. "Let it go!"

"I'm – not – TRYING to keep it!" Darren gritted his teeth. He was trying not to clench it, but the pressure was starting to bother him. He clutched at the corners of the table.

"Hey, Lucy," Brooke opened the door and stopped when she looked up. Darren was laying on a table with a large light on him and not wearing any pants or underwear. He was grabbing at the ends of the table while Lamar had his arm halfway in Darren's ass while Lucy and Charles watched. They all stopped and looked over at Brooke. "Uh…never mind. I can wait." She left and closed the door.

"I think I got it!" Lamar said. He almost fell back from the force as the probe finally thrust itself out. "Agh! What is that?!"

"Keep a hold on it," Lucy told him. "I'm going to see what it's holding on to and sever it."

"Why couldn't you knock me out for this?" Darren said. He was still digging his nails into the metal table. He could feel pressure from the probe, as well as a pinching and burning from whatever it was that Lucy was doing back there. He could even hear a sound like a dentist's drill or something.

"I have studied extensively, and preformed many surgeries," Lucy said as she worked. "But this is still not a professional medical environment. I do not have anesthesia."

"I can knock you out if you want," Charles offered.

"Um, n-no thanks…"

.

"Did she know where the movie was?" Kenny asked as Brooke reentered her room.

"I didn't ask," she told him.

"What? Why not?"

"Uh, Lucy, Darren, Charles, and Lamar were in the middle of some weird butt stuff when I walked in, so… We'll just watch something else."

"The fuck?!"

She shrugged and shook her head. "I dunno man."

.

It took some time, but the pressure he felt had suddenly been released and Darren was able to relax. He let out a sigh. "Is it over?"

"Yes." Lucy was examining the probe. It was incredibly large to have been inside of a ten-year old's anus. "You can put your clothes back on whenever you're ready. There may be a small amount of blood in your stool today and tomorrow, but the pain should ease up quickly. If you don't mind, I'd like to keep this object so that I can run some more tests."

"That's cool," he breathed. "Just…give me a minute."

The door was suddenly thrown open again, but this time it was Cartman. "HA!" He pointed at Lucy. "I shit out your poison! I thought my stomach was gonna shit out too, but I'm alive! HAHAHAhahaha!" he ran away.

"He didn't close the door," Charles said. "Rude."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**I'm rather fond of Charles and Lamar, lol. I told my friend that I thought I needed more Cartman lines. He said, "Ugh, DO you? I like Kenny and Kyle's better." Lol**


	21. Chapter 21: Soulful

**Did I ever mention that a Wechuge is a real-life mythical monster? Well, I am now. It's a folkloric monster similar to the Wendigo in some ways, but it's a mythical man-eating creature/spirit said to be a person possessed or overwhelmed by the power of ancient giant spirit animals. It has something to do with "becoming too powerful or strong." It's pronounced "way-chu-gay" and the appearance of these monsters is usually a giant monsterish animal of some kind. Of course, I've changed them up a lot for the story, just like I did banshees. In my story, the Wechuge is a giant god-like monster with overwhelming power and control of nature and life/death. Its appearance is a combination of multiple different animals (deer, wolf, bird, reptile).**

* * *

The boys had gone over to Brooke's house today just as she was going to check up on her horde of rats. She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out why they felt the need to follow her so much. Lucy had mentioned that it might be the same 'charm' that a Wechuge has that attracts monsters that attracted them to Brooke. Brooke, on the other hand, was convinced that they needed to find something better to do. Unfortunately for her, they did not appear to actually have anything better to do, so, once again, they accompanied her wherever she went today.

It's not like she wasn't used to being closely followed; however, the ones who usually followed her were Lucy and her other subjects. If she wanted to be alone, she could tell them to leave, but these human boys were much more stubborn than that. She was happy that Cartman wasn't there this time, though.

Over the past two years, she had gotten used to Darren coming around rather often, usually to escape his trio of overactive sisters. Now, Kenny or Clyde often accompanied her home or came to visit. Very often, in fact. Especially Kenny. Though, she didn't actually mind any of the threes' company, and she much preferred theirs' over most others. She would have the most laughs with Darren around, and Clyde was greatly amusing to her, but she was always the most relaxed and comfortable around Kenny. Despite knowing Darren the longest, she avoided physical contact with him just like she did almost everyone else. Clyde, she could tolerate for a set amount of time before wanting space. Kenny, on the other hand, she wasn't bothered by at all.

They were almost always together ever since she came to this tiny town. She found it odd how often he came around, almost every day, then found it even stranger when she realized that she hung around his place just as often. The only people she's ever spent more time with and allowed so close to her were her brother and Lucy. She almost didn't like the idea of letting him so far into her life.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Huh?" She turned at the sound of Kyle's voice.

"Uh, you've been staring at that one rat for a while now. Is something wrong with it?" He moved to get a better look at the albino rodent.

"Oh, no. I was just…daydreaming."

She went over to the door at the far corner of the green room and opened it, stepping into the shimmering blue room with the large pool for a floor. Upon noticing her, the large school of piranhas eagerly swam over to the edge, poking their heads from the surface and opening and closing their mouths in anticipation. The boys gathered near the edge as well, carefully leaning over to watch the fish.

Brooke tossed something into the water, and the fish quickly turned and dashed towards it. It was impossible to see the object in the flurry of splashing water and shimmering fish tails. The splashing sounds echoed loudly in the large room. Just as quickly as it had begun, the frenzy was over and the fish had calmly gathered back at the pool's edge to wait for more.

"Geez," Stan said. "They're so fast."

Brooke had gathered a number of frozen pieces of chicken into a bucket and carried it over to the water's edge where she sat down with her legs crossed. Knowing exactly what was going on, the fish moved closer to her, their round orange eyes focused on her every move. "Good fishies," she smirked. She grabbed a chicken leg out of the bucket and held it over the water. The nearest fish pushed eagerly forward, wriggling its tail as it readied itself to jump, eyes locked onto the food, and mouth open with sharp teeth pointing out.

"What are you doing?!" Darren asked.

"What?" She said, "I do this all the time."

The boys jumped a little as the fish leapt from the water and snatched the chicken leg from her hand. It held tightly to it as it fell back into the water. The other fish opened their mouths hungrily but moved out of the way as the first fish darted past with its food. They all turned back to watch her again, another fish moving up for its turn.

"Holy crap!" Stan said.

"Isn't that dangerous?" Kyle asked her.

"I'm secretly a giant monster that rules over an entire WORLD of monsters, and you think I'm worried about getting bitten by a fish?"

"Right…almost forgot about that."

"Give us a break," Darren told her. "It's only been like a week or something since you told us."

She shrugged, a little smile on her face as the next fish grabbed its meal from her.

"So," Kenny said. He pointed across the room. "What's on the other side of that door?"

"Yeah," Stan said. "Cartman thought it was where you kept some kind of, I don't know, weapon?"

"Pfft," she rolled her eyes. "There's no weapons. It WAS just an empty room, but that room got pushed back behind another one. Charles and Lamar were messing around with my stuff and 'accidentally' opened a vortex between the rooms. So, now, if you go through that door, you end up in the Oracle's Chamber, which is actually located in the Nether castle."

"How does that work?" Kyle mused.

"Magic, duh."

"You have a CASTLE?!" Darren exclaimed.

"…Duh," she repeated.

"I mean, I figured you did, but AWESOME!"

"Can we go?" Kenny asked, just as excited.

She shrugged and gave the last few fish their chicken pieces, then stood up and wiped her hands. "If you want to go see, you have to get across the piranha pool first."

The boys looked down at the fish swimming in the water. "Seriously?" Stan said.

Kenny shrugged and jumped into the pool, gaining gasps and frightened looks from the other boys.

"Oh my god! They – wait, no, he's okay."

The fish had darted out of the way when he jumped in then curiously swam over to him to examine him. He stayed there for a few moments, watching the fish swim around him, then started swimming over to the other side of the pool. The fish in front of him quickly moved out of the way while a few others followed him curiously across the pool, none of them getting within touching range.

Brooke laughed at the other boys' expressions, as well as at Kenny's daring. "Piranhas are actually usually really calm and shy. Plus, they just ate a bunch of food. They really only attack things that are dead or smaller than them."

"Did Kenny know that?" Darren asked.

"I doubt it," she huffed. "He's just ballsy. Or dumb. Anyways, you'll have to get wet to get to the other side. Not me though. I don't like water."

"What? How are you -?" He cut himself off as a pair of large, red feathered wings suddenly burst from the girl's back, one of them almost knocking him over as it stretched out. "You have WINGS?!"

With a single flap, she soared over the water and lightly landed on the other side. The wings burst in a puff of feathers and smoke and disappeared as if they were never there in the first place. She laughed again when she turned and saw their faces. Even Kenny was staring at her, amazed.

"Yeah," she said. "But don't tell Lucy that I did that! I'm not supposed to use my magic like that."

"Is it because of your outbursts?" Darren said accidentally. He covered his mouth, and Stan and Kyle shot him glares.

Brooke didn't appear bothered by the question. She couldn't really remember if she was the one who told them about that or not… "Yeah," she replied, watching as they carefully entered the water. "I'm supposed to learn control, but the Council won't actually let me USE it."

"That's dumb," Stan said.

Kyle was closely watching a large piranha that was swimming alongside him. "Who is the Council, anyway? You're the Princess, so shouldn't YOU make the rules?"

"The Elder Council is made up of a lot of powerful people, creatures, and monsters. All from different realms. They have jurisdiction over everything. If they agree as a whole on something, then that's how it goes. Technically, as the ruler of the Nether Kingdom, I'm a part of it too, but those who are a part of it are also subject to its votes and rulings. Make sense?"

"Sort of." He crawled out of the water.

"Who's on the Council?" Darren asked as he and Stan joined them.

"SO many people," she told them.

"Do we know any?"

"Well, my dad, the Grim Reaper is one. My uncle, um, you'd know him as Cthulhu."

"Cthulhu's your uncle?" Stan tilted his head.

"On my mother's side."

"That's the first thing I learned," Darren said, "and I still have a hard time with it."

She continued. "Jesus, God, Moses…"

"Really?!"

"Gaia, the Easter Bunny…"

"Wait, what?" Kyle stopped her. "The Easter Bunny?"

"Yeahhhh, he only comes if we need a neutral vote. There are too many people to name, but the head of the Council is a monster called Quinzel. I call him Grandpa, because he's old as dirt."

"I think you've mentioned that before."

"Probably." She glanced over at Kenny, did a double-take, then laughed at him.

His hood was soaked and plastered to his face, so he couldn't see. It looked ridiculous. He pulled his hood down, and his hair was dripping wet, too. "Bah!" He gasped for air then shook his head, flinging water droplets on everyone.

"Hey!" Brooke fussed, wiping her arm. "I hate being wet."

"How do you take a shower then?" Stan asked.

"Regretfully," she muttered.

"Why do you hate it so much?"

"My kind is a being of fire. Water is annoying."

"Is that why you're so hot-headed?" Darren teased.

She made an annoyed face at him then turned to open the door. "Since this next room is technically connected to the castle, I can call someone to get you guys some towels or whatever."

"Good," Kenny said. "I'm soggy."

"Yeah," she agreed. "You look like a wet mutt."

She pushed open the door and they stepped into a dark, massive, dome-shaped room that was only lit up by the extraordinary amount of glowering stones floating all around the room at different heights. There were many different colors, shapes, and sizes of the strange stones. Some about the size of a dime and others bigger than the children. The most impressive one, however, was the absolutely massive one high above them that took up almost the entire ceiling. It was brilliantly white and resembled a giant cluster of quartz.

"Whoa," Kyle said as they gaped around at the stones. A few of the stones bounced or turned in the air as they passed them. "What are they?"

"These are Oracle Stones," Brooke explained. "They're a collection of rare souls that crystalized after death and became Oracles of sorts. They can see the past, present, and future, but will only show the past and present."

"Rare?" Darren said. "There sure are a whole lot of them for something that's considered rare."

"They've been collected and gathered here over millennia. It's actually a very rare phenomenon. They ARE souls, so, of course, they fall under my rule and care. Normally, reapers collect souls and send them to the Nether. In the Nether, they get judged and sent on their way to their final destination. Some souls stay in the Nether, by both theirs' and the current ruler's choosing. Oracle Stones can't leave, though, even if they wanted to. So, Mother made them a place to stay safe. Lucy's mother was an Oracle."

"Does that mean her mom's soul is one of these stones?" Kyle asked.

"No, that's not how it works. Oracles are magical beings born with their abilities. They're immortal creatures, like the other monsters and creatures in the kingdom. They can't die, or, at least, if they do, they'll just come back, like I did. Oracle Stones are regular creatures whose souls transformed after death, and they just so happened to develop similar abilities. No one really knows how it happens. Besides, Lucy's mom's soul was destroyed in the first war against the Nightmares. Just like my mom."

"Oh yeah…"

"If her mom was an Oracle," Darren mused. "Does that mean Lucy's one, too?"

"Yes," Brooke nodded. "A werewolf who's also an Oracle. She's a special girl."

"Yeah…" Kyle said solemnly.

"Excuse me a moment," Brooke cleared her throat. "PIXIE!"

The boys flinched at her sudden shout. It echoed around the room and all of the floating stones glowered brighter and twirled, an excited whispering suddenly picking up all around. The little bright yellow and green Pygmy Dragon known as Pixie suddenly poofed into existence before them.

"Princess!" he smiled brightly and bowed. "How can I be of service?"

"Could you get some fresh towels for my friends?" She gestured towards the soaked boys. "They went for a little swim."

"In their clothes?" Pixie stared curiously at them then looked back at Brooke and smiled again. "Right away!" He vanished with another poof then, only moments later, appeared again carrying a stack of neatly folded towels. "Here you are!"

"Thanks!" Darren smiled and grabbed a towel. The other boys followed suit, thanking the little creature genuinely.

Pixie smiled brightly as Kenny took the last towel. "You're all very welcome!" He turned in place to face Brooke. "Anything else?"

"No," she said. "That's all, but you can stay if you want."

"Fantastic!" He seemed to have been hoping that she would say that.

She smiled at him and scooped him up in her arms. He looked greatly pleased with this.

"Hey," Kyle walked over to a large oval-shaped stone. "It sounds like they're whispering or something. Can they talk?"

"All souls are sentient and consciously aware of their surroundings," Brooke told him. "Except the ones in purgatory… And yes, they can talk a little. But it's in whispers, so you have to listen very closely. Even then, it might be hard to understand them."

"Many of them are also playful and a tad mischievous," Pixie added delightedly. "AND they can see YOUR souls, too!"

"What do you mean?" Kenny asked.

"Spirits can see other souls," he explained. "As can certain species of monsters. Like the Princess!"

"You can see our souls?" Stan asked her.

"I can see everyone's soul when I'm around them," she said. "Everyone's soul is different. They even have different colors based on that person's personality."

"What do they look like?"

"Like these?" Darren tried to touch one of the stones but it made almost a giggling sound and moved just out of his reach.

"No. They look like little balls of flame. Like wisps. They also change shape and size depending on how that person is feeling."

"How?" Kyle asked.

Pixie raised a claw. "For example! The soul of someone who is calm and content will be a nice size, very rounded, with a relaxed wavering top. Like a large candle flame. The soul of someone who is frightened or panicked will be erratic and wild, like an uncontrolled blaze. The soul of someone who is nervous and feeling shy or embarrassed will be small and quivering. And when they're happy or excited, the soul appears to grow larger and brighter."

"Can you see souls, too, Pixie?"

"No, I cannot. Though, there is a special powder that can be made that allows one to see souls for a limited amount of time."

"Yeah," Brooke said. "I focus more on potions and spells, but I think Lucy knows how to make it." She walked past them to go over to a group of stones in the corner. As she passed Kenny, the stones floating near him bounced and quivered, their excited whispering picking up suddenly.

"What's up with those?" Darren asked.

Pixie giggled. "They are reacting to his soul. Joy and excitement are contagious. As are negative emotions. But, clearly, they are excited." He looked over at Kenny. "You must have thought about something that made you very happy, yes?"

"Um," he suddenly looked embarrassed. The stones around him twirled and sounded like they were laughing at him. "Shut up!" He snapped at them and swung his arms, trying to shoo them away. They made more giggling sounds and scattered away from him.

Darren laughed as one of them hid behind him. "What was that all about, Kenny?"

"Hell if I know!" He pulled his hood up back over his head, forgetting that it was still soaked. "Aw…can I have another towel?"

"Certainly!" Pixie vanished and reappeared with a new towel then handed it to him before poofing back into Brooke's arms.

"You guys can pick one of these little ones to keep for yourselves," Brooke gestured for the boys to come over where she was.

"Really?!" Darren hurried over.

"Sure. But only one each. You have to take care of them, though. They ARE souls, after all."

"Why are you letting us take them?" Kyle asked. He was eyeing a round quarter-sized stone that had a green and orange swirling pattern in it.

"Because I like you guys," she said simply. "Besides, these are lesser souls. Also, there is literally nothing any of you can do that could possibly harm or destroy them. So, don't worry about it."

"I want this one!" Darren jumped up and grabbed a chunky, round orange stone. He opened his hand and it flew around him excitedly.

Stan carefully took a triangular-shaped stone that was dark blue in color and very smooth. "They're warm!" He was surprised. It wasn't hot, just a very comfortable warm.

"I guess I'll take this one," Kyle said. Before he could reach for it, the swirled stone zipped its way down into his pocket. "Oh! Okay."

Kenny looked around a little then settled on a small, rough-looking, diamond-shaped stone that appeared to be the only white one of the bunch.

"Interesting," Brooke hummed. "You all picked stones with the same color souls as yourselves."

"What does that mean?" Kyle asked.

She shrugged. "Birds of a feather flock together, I guess." She placed Pixie down. "Are you guys ready to go?"

"What about that last room?" Stan asked.

"The empty one?"

"Is it really empty?"

"Well," she said, "yeah. It's a thick concrete room with an enforced iron door. There's nothing in it besides some scratches and claw marks."

"Huh?" Darren jumped. "What the hell is that room for?"

"It's where Lucy would go during the full moons."

"Oh…"

"But," she continued. "Since Charles and Lamar's so-called 'accident', she can just come in this room instead. It's much better for her, see, because we're technically in the Nether right now, and in the Nether, werewolves don't lose control of themselves during the full moon."

"Why do they lose control outside of it then?" Kyle asked curiously.

Brooke shook her head. "We don't know. No one does. Maybe the moons are different somehow? Maybe it's because the moon in the Nether, like the Nether itself, was made by my mother, and so were the werewolves. All I know, is that now, she can come here during the full moon and relax instead of rampaging in that dark concrete room all alone."

"Oh, I do love Lucy!" Pixie clapped his little hands excitedly. "She's only the second royal advisor, you know. After her mother."

Brooke smiled at him. "All right, we should get going. Pixie, since you're here, can you poof us back so they don't have to get wet again?"

"Of course I can!" He jumped up a little. "Everyone, to me, please!"

The boys exchanged looks and moved closer to Brooke and the little dragon creature. The little stones in their grasps giggled and quivered as Kenny flinched when Brooke grabbed his wrist.

"Yes, yes," Pixie said. "I forgot that they do not know! You all have to be touching either myself or someone who is touching me. Otherwise, you'll get left behind!" He stretched his feathered wings for the nearest people, Brooke and Stan, to touch then waited for them all to get ready. "Okay!" he sang cheerily. "Blink, and you'll miss it!"

"I think I blinked," Darren said. They were suddenly all in Lucy's shed, aside from Pixie who was nowhere in sight.

Brooke released Kenny's wrist and quickly stepped back. "Pixie was just messing with you. There wasn't anything to actually see."

Kyle looked around the room. "Where's Lucy, anyway?"

As if on cue, the gray-haired girl opened the door and entered the shed. She paused briefly upon seeing them all standing there. "Oh," she was a little surprised. "Hello. Were you looking for me?"

"No," Brooke told her, "but Kyle was."

"What?!"

"Oh," Lucy turned to him. "Did you need something?"

"N-No! I mean, I was just…uh, just wondering where you were…"

"Actually," Brooke said. Kyle tensed, expecting her to say something that would make him even more embarrassed. "Lucy, could you make some of that Soul Powder, please? I'd like to show these guys."

"Ah, certainly," she smiled. "I'll have that ready by tomorrow."

Brooke nodded. "Good." She turned to the boys. "You guys can play with that tomorrow at recess."

**…**

Lucy had met up with them all by the merry-go-round like usual, but this time she was carrying a small cloth bag. "I have the Soul Powder here," she said.

"Cool," Darren jumped to his feet. "How does it work?"

She reached into the bag and grabbed a handful of the sparkling pink power then roughly slapped it onto his forehead.

"AH!" He jumped back, rubbing his forehead. "What the he- Whoa… What. Is. Going on?"

Everyone he looked at he could see different colored balls of flame lingering in their chests. Some were calm and round, while children who were running around playing had large, excited flames that glowered brightly.

"Is this what you see, Brooke?"

"Yeah," she replied. "I usually ignore it, though."

"HOW?!" He couldn't even fathom the possibility of being able to ignore all of these colorful glowing balls of light everywhere.

"Can you really see something?" Stan asked.

Darren snatched the bag from Lucy and grabbed a fistful of it, slapping it onto Stan's forehead.

"Ow! What the hell, assho- Oh my god…"

"Uh," Kyle shifted his feet. "Is that stuff safe?"

"Of course," Lucy told him. "In moderation. Used extensively, it could cause some mild psychosis."

"Eh, I'll pass."

"You sure man?" Darren asked. "It's pretty great."

"Positive."

Sometime towards the end of school that day, the group met up in the hallway around Brooke's locker where she was trying to pry something large out of it. "My dad sent me another book," she explained, taking a moment to catch her breath. "I forgot to ask him to send it to my room instead of my locker."

"Are all the books from the Nether oversized like that?" Kenny asked her.

"No. Just the stupid spell books and tomes."

"Are you sure you're not a witch, too?" Stan asked. "Why do you need so many spell books?"

"They're very useful," Lucy told him.

"All right," Brooke huffed. She grabbed the spine of the book and readied herself. "One of you boys help me."

Kenny walked over and grabbed part of the book as well. They pulled hard at the book, the locker actually bending outward a little from the force.

"What is that book made of?!" Kyle shouted.

"Leather – and – paper – of course!" Brooke grunted through clenched teeth.

Finally, with a very loud sound of the metal locker popping, the huge red book burst out from the space, pushing the two kids back onto the floor several feet away, and landing with a thud on top of them.

"Holy crap!" Stan said. They ran over to them. "Are you guys okay?!"

Brooke sat up, pushing the heavy book off of herself. "Ugh. This one's bigger than the last one…"

Kenny sat up, shaking his head, then winced upon realizing that she was on top of him.

"Oh, sorry." She quickly got off of him and they both scrambled to their feet.

"Uh, yeah!" He scratched his head.

"Agh!" Darren held his hands up like he was trying to block a bright light. "Kenny, what the hell!?"

"What?"

"Why is your soul so fucking BRIGHT all of a sudden?!"

"Wha- I – I don't know!"

"You can still see souls?" Stan asked him. "Mine faded away earlier."

"Oh dear," Lucy said. "That should only have lasted an hour…"

"This is why I said no," Kyle said.

"Well, I might've used some more…" Darren admitted.

"What?!" Lucy jumped. "Darren, you shouldn't do that! It could have very negative and permanent effects!"

"Like what?" He suddenly looked over his shoulder and shouted, "Not now, Mr. Squirrel! I'm busy!" He turned back to her. "You were saying?"

"Oh dear…"

**To be continued…**

* * *

**From this point on... Darren is officially insane.**


	22. Chapter 22: Beast Mode

**Back at it again with the white v- I mean... The next chapter, lol. This one is exciting. Finally, the time has come... RELEASE THE BEAST!**

* * *

"Aw man," Darren said.

"What's wrong?" Kyle looked over at him.

It was Friday, and they were waiting in the lunch line discussing their weekend plans when Darren had suddenly spoke up.

"Why do I have three legs?" He asked angrily, staring down at his feet.

"What?"

The other boys turned to give him odd looks.

"Yeah," Darren said. He pointed down at his feet. "See? One – Twoooo… Oh." He shrugged. "Oh well."

"Dude," Stan said as they collected their meals and headed for their usual table. "You're really losing your mind."

Brooke and Lucy were already at the table with Clyde and Butters. Even Riley was there, looking rather bashful sitting between Butters and Brooke and pushing his food around absently with his fork.

"Lucy," Stan asked, "How long does that powder side effect last?"

She looked up at him then at Darren and said sheepishly. "Um…forever. Until he dies."

Cartman warily eyed Riley as he sat down, making sure not to sit directly across from him. Lucy moved aside as Kenny passed, making room for him to sit beside Brooke and sitting herself across from Kyle who blushed and looked down.

Riley looked up from his plate at Darren. "What? Did you snort some cocaine or something?" It sounded like a genuine question and not just a sarcastic remark.

"No," Darren told him. "I got smacked in the face with Soul Powder and now, sometimes, I can see souls."

He stared at Darren for a moment then blinked and looked back down at his plate. "You sure it's not cocaine?"

"I assure you," Lucy said, "it was not. But, as a side effect of NOT FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS, he is now stuck with a permanent case of, er, _mild _psychosis."

"You know," Brooke said. "I _could_ kill him, and then I could go fetch his soul and –"

"No," Lucy said firmly. "That is STRICTLY prohibited. Even for YOU, Princess."

"Fine, fine."

"I told you Mr. Squirrel," Darren leaned over and whispered to the floor. "I can't play Black Jack with you right now, I'm at school!" He sat back up and took a bite out of his mac and cheese. "So, what's the haps?"

"Riley's birthday is next week," Butters smiled. Riley made a quiet sound and appeared to shrink in his seat. "He'll be ten!"

"You're younger than us?" Stan asked.

"Mm," he hummed but didn't speak. He didn't like being the center of attention.

"Huh," Darren said. "I thought you were older. What are you doing for your birthday?"

Brooke felt him tense beside her and felt a rush of panic pass through him. Normally, she could easily ignore these kinds of things, but maybe it was because he was sitting right beside her that she felt it?

"Nothing," he said.

"You're not having a party? Or even a little get-together?" Darren cocked his head. "Double-digits, man."

"No."

This time she felt anger. Brooke glanced briefly at him, not actually having intended to, then furtively slid closer to him, lightly pressing her hip against his.

Riley winced a tiny bit, surprised at the sudden touch, then suddenly felt a little more relaxed. Really, he almost felt like he wanted to cry for some reason, but showed no outward signs of it.

"How can he?" Cartman couldn't help himself. "He doesn't have friends, remember? Just Butters."

The others shot him icy looks.

"We're his friends," Brooke said, not bothering to look at Cartman. She was too busy enjoying her sandwich to spoil it by looking at his face. "Me and Lucy."

"Lucy and I," the other girl corrected. "But yes, I would gladly consider Riley a friend."

Darren chuckled. "Okay Miss Grammar Nazi."

"Oh, careful," Cartman told him. "There are two Jews at this table."

"Shut up," Kyle said. He wasn't in the mood for his antics, not that he ever was…

Brooke rolled her eyes. "I told you, Cartman, I'm NOT Jesus." She had finally tried to explain this to him a few days ago, but, like always, he didn't listen.

"That's just what you WANT me to believe!"

Riley thought he was angry for a moment, but the feeling was quickly replaced with calm. He didn't know what this girl was doing, but he was thankful for it. "Thanks," he said very quietly and leaned in to her.

.

After school, the group had met up with Kenny's little sister, who appeared to have been waiting for him. She looked a bit upset.

"Kenny!" She ran over to him.

"Karen? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry! I lost the little floating stone!"

"You gave her the Oracle Stone?" Brooke asked curiously.

"Uh… She wanted to play with it."

"I'm so sorry!" Karen said. "I swear, it was in my pocket earlier, but now it's gone!" She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Why did YOU have an Oracle Stone?" Lucy asked Kenny then slowly looked over at Brooke. "No matter," she said and smiled kindly at Karen. "You didn't lose it."

She sniffed. "I didn't?"

"No. They like to wander sometimes, but it's sure to return to you or Kenneth. Actually, if you tell me what it looks like, I might be able to summon it."

"Well, it's a little pointy white rock that's kind of shaped like a diamond." She held a space between her thumb and index finger. "It's about THIS big, um, small. And it flies and glows."

"Yes, sounds like Junior." Lucy opened her hand and the tiny white rock appeared, floating an inch or so above her palm.

"That's it!" Karen smiled. The little stone circled around her a few times before placing itself in her pocket. She smiled up at Lucy. "Thank you SO much! How did you do that?"

"The details are a bit difficult to explain," Lucy told her.

"Is it magic? Oh! Or, are you an angel?"

"Pardon?"

"You're really pretty, like an angel."

Lucy chuckled. "I assure you that I am no angel."

"Oh. Then maybe they all look kind of like my Guardian Angel?"

"Your Guardian Angel?" Lucy echoed and looked over at Brooke who was just as lost. "You've SEEN your guardian angel?"

"Yeah!"

"But that shouldn't be possible…" She looked very inquisitive, curiosity overtaking her. "There's only one angel you should be able to see and she-"

Brooke loudly cleared her throat.

"Oh, um, yes. So, what exactly does this 'Guardian Angel' look like?"

"Well, I can't really see his face," Karen explained. "He has it covered with a black mask and wears a shroud."

"Shroud?"

Kenny shifted his feet behind Lucy.

"And wings?"

"No," Karen said. "He doesn't have wings. But I don't think angels always show their wings. You know?"

"Indeed," Lucy mused. "I suppose that part is true…"

"It's all true! Really!"

"No, no," Lucy assured her, "I believe you, dear. I'm just a bit…confused. You shouldn't be able to SEE him. Um, when DO you see him?"

"Only sometimes. Usually when I'm feeling sad or scared. Oh, and it's always at night."

"Interesting…"

"Hey, Brooke," Darren said. "Do we ALL have guardian angels?"

"Only mortals do," she replied. "Immortal beings don't really need one."

"Huh…are YOU able to see them?"

"Of course." He flinched at her nonchalant response. He hadn't actually expected that to be her answer. She continued. "But they're not CONSTANTLY there. Though, they do keep a good eye on you. Usually…" She trailed off then continued again. "So, what Karen's saying makes some sense. Except for the fact that she can actually see it. That's…not supposed to happen."

"The appearance she described is also peculiar," Lucy added. "A fallen angel, perhaps? No…maybe…" She trailed off, muttering to herself.

"What's wrong with you?" Brooke looked at Kenny.

"Huh?! Uh, nothing. I was just, you know, trying to figure it out too."

Lucy suddenly stopped and looked at him, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Well," she smoothed her pale blue coat. "I'll have to add it to my list for later. For now, I'm still busy with Eric."

"He's letting you do experiments on him still?" Stan asked. "Even after you made him think he was going to die?"

"Well, he's not actually AWARE of it, but, yes. He DID sign a contract, of course."

"Ah," Darren tapped the side of his head with his finger. "The fine print. That's where they get you!"

"Honestly, I doubt he actually read ANY of it," Kyle rolled his eyes. "What are you doing to him, anyway?"

"Simple tests," she replied. "Nothing any more advanced than what the rats receive."

"So…you're treating him no different than a rat?" Kyle was both mildly concerned and greatly amused by this fact.

"I suppose," she thought for a moment. "Though, he does remind me more of a pig, no, a wild boar more like. Domestic pigs are actually quite intelligent. Boars on the other hand… Well, nonetheless, I'd like to find another human test subject soon."

"Why?" Stan asked her.

"Well, I'd like to conduct some different tests and research. Also, I typically prefer, well, healthy test subjects. It makes the findings more relevant and, um, fair."

Darren snorted. "I like that you just basically called Cartman a fat, dumb, uncultured swine. Hey! You should have KYLE be your new guinea pig!"

"What?" He jumped. "Why me?!"

He smiled. "Why not? I mean, you'd get to be around Lucy more often."

His face flushed pink. "Yeah, getting EXPERIMENTED ON!"

Darren laughed at him. "I thought you'd WANT to spend more time with her?"

"I-I –"

"Oh," Lucy tilted her head a little and looked over at Kyle. "You'd like to spend more time together?"

"Well, I mean…" He lowered his gaze to his feet; his face felt hot.

Lucy blushed just a little and looked away as well. "Well, if you would like to visit each other more often… Well, I wouldn't mind."

"O-Okay," he said bashfully.

"Are you guys going to start spending all your time together like my brother and Brooke do?" Karen asked curiously.

Kenny suddenly choked on air, or saliva, or maybe nothing at all, and Darren burst out with laughter.

"We – We don't spend ALL of our time together," Brooke tried to defend herself.

"Well, I guess that's true," Karen mused then smiled up at her. "But most of the time!"

Brooke made a strange huffing sound, feeling as if she had just exhaled her very soul from her body. She both wanted to laugh at Karen's innocent antics and hide in a corner from embarrassment somewhere right now.

"I like when you come to play though," Karen continued innocently. "Especially when you bring your doggy!"

"Speaking of Sniper," Kenny said, trying to change the subject. "Are you bringing him to the park later?"

"No," she replied. "My dad's coming pick him up later to take him to the, uh, 'vet'."

"At night?" Stan asked.

"He won't be expecting it."

"What are you going to do at the park at night?" Lucy inquired.

"Cartman's convinced he saw the kindergartners bury real treasure in the park while playing pirates," Stan explained. "We're gonna go watch him try to find it and place bets."

"Interesting." Despite that word, she looked greatly UN-interested. "I doubt it's anything of real importance."

"Yeah, we doubt it too, but beats watching TV I guess."

"Yeah," Darren agreed. "Everything's just reruns right now anyway."

Everyone had returned to their homes for the rest of the afternoon, until about seven-thirty-ish when Brooke, Darren, Kenny, Kyle, Stan, Clyde, Butters, and even Riley had all gathered at the park. By now, all of the people had left the park to go home or do some Friday night activity, so only Cartman now remained with the group of eight kids watching him from the picnic tables as he started digging through the sand and dirt.

"I don't know," Butters said. "Maybe he'll actually find something?" He and Riley were using chalk to play tic-tac-toe on the wooden tabletop.

"Yeah," Riley scoffed, "some garbage or cat shit, sure."

Across from them, Brooke and Clyde were whispering and laughing about something together. On the girl's other side, Kenny side-eyed them, looking rather annoyed by it and anxiously tapping his finger on the tabletop. Stan, Kyle, and Darren had all gathered at the nearby vending machine and were debating on what snacks to get with their couple of dollars and quarters.

"Gum's not a snack," Kyle was fussing Darren.

He shrugged. "Okay, fine. You said we should get something we could all share. I was just throwing something out there."

"Yeah, but you can't EAT gum."

"Yes you can."

"What?! No!"

"Dude," Stan said, "You're not supposed to swallow gum."

He shrugged again.

"What about those Cracker Jacks?"

"No," Kyle said. "Those are too expensive. They don't have much in those little bags, anyway."

"Those bags of mini cookies have a bunch in them," Darren pointed.

"Aw man," Butters said. "You won again! You're really good at tic-tac-toe, Riley."

"Okay then," he started drawing something else. "Let's play hangman instead."

"Okay! We can all play that one."

About an hour or so later, Cartman had managed to dig several large holes all around the playground and was still refusing to give up. Meanwhile, Brooke had spotted a small gecko on the vacant table next to them and tried to catch it, but the little creature had seen her coming and launched itself from the table, landing with a tiny plop, pausing very briefly, then darted into the bushes.

"You win this round, tiny gecko." She smirked, amused by the sound it had made upon landing.

Remembering her fascination with strange little critters and creepy crawlies like that, Kenny got up and started snooping around the base of a nearby tree and its half-exposed roots, hoping to find something interesting to get her attention.

"Man," Stan said. He looked over at Cartman who was already knee-deep in a new hole. "Is he really still going?"

"Do you think we'll get in trouble about the holes, too, just for being here?" Darren asked.

"I don't know…"

Kenny walked back over to the table and thrust his arm between Clyde and Brooke. "Look what I found!"

"UH!" Clyde jumped back, almost falling onto the ground. "What is that?!"

He was holding something between his thumb and index finger that was long and dangly, the bottom end trying to curl upwards to protect itself as its many tiny legs flailed around for something to grab onto.

Brooke laughed. "Aw, it's just a millipede." She held her hand out and he dropped the creature into her palm where it curled up into a tight spiral.

Kenny pushed his way through to sit between them, ending up so close to her that his right leg pressed against Brooke's left. He exchanged a very fast, angry look with Clyde before turning his attention back over to the girl and leaning against her side.

She was too distracted by the creature to have noticed the look, and didn't seem bothered in any way by Kenny being up against her now; in fact, she even leaned in to him as well. She placed the millipede on the table. After a few moments, it slowly uncurled itself and started crawling around.

Almost another hour had passed when Cartman suddenly shouted from one of the many holes littered across the playground. "AH-HA!" He pulled himself up and out of the hole and reached back in to grab something. "I KNEW it! I told you guys!"

They all went over to see what he had found, carefully stepping around the holes so as not to fall in one.

He pulled up a small chest and opened it. The inside was filled with gold coins. He stared at it in awe for a bit then suddenly swung his arms around and made a bunch of strange sounds to get them all to back away from him. "It's mine! All mine! I found it!"

"Smells like bubblegum," Darren commented.

Cartman shoved his hands into the chest, his smile fading as he felt something sticky. He pulled his hands out to find a pink substance clinging to his fingers and some golden wrappers. "GOD DAMNIT!"

"Well," Stan said. "They were just PLAYING, after all."

"This is bullshit!" He jumped up and kicked the chest roughly, knocking it over and sending fake coins flying into the other holes.

"I told you it was probably candy," Brooke said to Clyde. "You owe me a smoothie."

"I was kind of hoping I would lose," Clyde admitted with a smile.

"Brooke!" Cartman shouted. She looked at him, surprised. "Can you permanently destroy people's souls?!"

"Yes?"

"I need you to find out whose asshole idea it was to bury GUM and crush their soul into tiny bits!"

"Excuse you?"

"Yeah! Crush them! Just like what happened to your brother!"

Everyone suddenly tensed. She stared at him, astonished.

Butters glanced sheepishly around. "Wh- What happened to her brother?" Riley elbowed him in the side to silence him, sensing the tense atmosphere.

"How…" She clenched her fists at her sides. "Don't talk about Desmond!"

"Pfft," he rolled his eyes and started dusting his clothes off. "Oh, get over it! We all have problems!" He gestured to the holes he had dug.

"Cartman," Darren suddenly looked very serious. "If you don't shut up right now…"

"Uh, guys," Kyle said. "Is it just me, or is it like, really hot all of a sudden?"

He was right. The chilly night air had suddenly turned thick and hot all around them and the nearby pile of snow was suddenly a puddle of rapidly evaporating water.

"Brooke?" Darren noticed her shaking. She had turned around and wasn't facing any of them, her hands tight fists at her sides. He suddenly remembered something. "Uh…guys, we gotta move."

"What?"

"Move!" He roughly pushed Cartman out of the way as he hopscotched his way around the holes.

Cartman had lost his balance and fell in the nearest hole. He scrambled halfway out of it and was about to shout something at Darren, but he was interrupted by the blaze of bright blue flames that had just fiercely erupted around the girl. "Ah!" He lost his grip and fell back into the hole.

The others hurried out of the way as the blaze quickly grew into an inferno, growing wider and rising higher and higher until it had reached a height taller than all of the buildings and dispersed in a blast of embers and heat that almost knocked them all over. Left in the wake was a massive monster that towered high above them.

It was both thin but muscular, with a broad chest where its ribs and breastbone were not covered with flesh, and its body, limbs, and tail were covered with wild, red feathers. It had huge feathered red wings on its back and long fingers that ended with long black claws. Its head was an exposed skull, resembling that of a deer's but with fangs and teeth like a wolf. It even had an impressive pair of antlers atop its head and pointed, wolf-like ears placed behind the skull where it turned to flesh.

The beast sat back on its haunches, pointing its head up to the sky. Its eye sockets were hollow and black.

"Holy fuck!" Stan shouted. "THAT'S a Wechuge?!"

"Is – Is that really Brooke?" Kyle gaped up at the monster.

The monster sat there like this for several moments without moving before red orbs with slit pupils suddenly appeared in its eye sockets as if it had just opened its eyes. Its mouth gaped slightly as its eyes looked wildly around at its surroundings, then it threw its head back and released a long, loud sound that was like a mix of a roar and a screech.

The sound was like no other. It was a horrifying, ear-splitting noise that reverberated through their bodies and made even their very souls shake. They instinctually tried to cover their ears, gritting their teeth at the sound as it even trembled the earth below them.

She suddenly lowered her head, peering over her shoulder at the group of children, her pupil contracting and constricting as she tried to see them through blurry red fury. She slowly lifted her long, broad tail.

"Should we run?" Kyle asked.

"Totally," Riley said. "Run."

They scattered out of the way as the monster slammed her tail down hard, the impact shaking leaves from all of the park's trees and sending sand and snow up in a flurry. Cartman stood there, poker-faced with realization and fear. He had just climbed out of the hole when a huge feathery tail thicker than a tree trunk came crashing down mere inches from him. He waited for the snow and dust to settle. "Oh. My. GODDDDDD!" Then turned and took off running as fast as he could.

He managed to reach an alleyway where he found Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Darren, and Clyde already there hiding up against the side of one of the buildings. "You guys!" He huffed out of breath. "What do we do?!"

"WE?!" Darren snapped. "This is YOUR fault!"

"Yeah!" Stan shouted. "What'd you have to go and say that shit for?!"

"What do you mean?!" Cartman looked offended.

"Fuck you!" Darren suddenly punched him in the face.

"Uh, guys," Kyle caught their attention. "She found us."

They turned to see the monster's left eye peering at them through the entranceway of the alley. She snorted, her hot breath sending a puff of fog from her nasal, then lifted her head from the ground. They weren't entirely sure what to do, but after a small moment of silence, the monster had let out another loud screech and slammed her head into one of the buildings. They screamed and ran out of the way as the building toppled down in a loud crash.

"What DO we do!?" Kyle shouted over the noise. They stopped in the street, trying to find a way to escape.

"It's Cartman she's mad at!" Stan pointed at Cartman. "Give HIM to her!"

"WHAT?!" Cartman screamed, attracting her attention again. The others pushed him forward as she reached a broad hand out to grab him and snatched something up. They looked over to see that Cartman had ducked out of the way and was scrambling to his feet to run away again.

"Who did she catch?" Stan asked.

"She got Kenny!" Darren pointed.

They couldn't see him in her grasp, but other than Cartman who had just run away, Kenny was the only one of them missing. With another screech, she crushed the tiny body in her fist, blood spraying from between her fingers, then slammed her hands down, leaving large cracks in the road, and roared at them.

"Oh my god! She killed Kenny!" Stan shouted.

"You bastard!" Kyle yelled.

"Don't call her a bastard!" Darren yelled at him.

"I was actually talking about Cartman," he said.

"Watch out!" Stan shouted and ducked out of the way.

Kyle just saw the massive set of jaws lunging towards him and couldn't react, but something had pushed him out of the way. He quickly looked to find that a large blue-gray wolf beast had shoved him aside, and they both turned in time to see the teeth slam together with a loud crushing sound and an air force that pushed them back. Once the head lifted again, he saw Kenny and a banshee standing on the other side with shocked expressions.

Dangling by his coat from one of the sharp front teeth of the Wechuge was Clyde. He screamed as he was lifted high off the ground then tossed up into the air. She had thrown him up and opened her jaws, ready to catch and swallow the boy, when something rammed into her leg. She closed her mouth and looked down at the little car that had crashed into her, too distracted by the frightened man that ran out of it to pay any mind to the small boy who had just bounced off of her head and landed in a thick pile of snow.

With another roaring screech, she took off after the man on all fours, mouth open and ready to snatch him up.

"What happened?!" Lucy demanded as she returned to her human self.

"Cartman pissed her off about Desmond and she turned into a giant monster!" Kyle explained quickly. "Kenny? How did you get away?!"

"Uhhhh…" He exchanged an awkward glance with the banshee beside him. It was probably the fastest he had ever come back after dying, and it was only because this banshee was nearby and came to see what was going on. Of course, no matter how fast it was, it still seemed that only the banshee and Lucy remembered that he had actually died just now. He shrugged. "She dropped me."

"Lucy, what do we do?!" Darren asked.

The giant Wechuge was screeching and rampaging through the town now. Giant blue fireballs formed in her hands and she threw them at one of the buildings then rammed her antlers all the way through another and ripped it from the ground.

"I have to make a phone call," Lucy said and took out her phone.

"What?! NOW?!"

"You got the Reaper here," the voice on the other end answered. It was on speakerphone.

"Yes, hello Sir," Lucy said. "Um, we have a bit of a…problem."

He heard the monster's loud screech. "Aw, god damnit! Not again! Ugh, I just made nachos…"

"Nachos?" Darren made a weird face.

"I'm terribly sorry," Lucy said.

"No, no. I'm coming. Just give me a second." The phone beeped as it hung up. The boys shouted and jumped back as a burst of screaming blue flames erupted between them and a tall shrouded figure stepped out with a familiar Doberman by his side. "All right," he said as the flames disappeared, turning his skull face to look around at them. "Which one of you is responsible for this?"

"He is!" They all pointed at Cartman, who was currently attempting to hide his large body behind a trashcan.

The Reaper pointed a tall, spectral, blue scythe at him. "I'll deal with YOU later. Right now, I have to calm my daughter down." He moved forward, appearing to glide across the ground, and disappeared behind a toppled building. The next they saw him, he had flown up to the giant monster and, with a single upwards motion of his scythe, slashed a huge gash into her jugular.

They watched, horrified, as the Wechuge suddenly exploded in a burst of feathers and blood that splattered across the town.

"That's the second time I've watched my best friend die…" Darren said solemnly. Lucy stepped behind him just as the blood reached them and splattered across their bodies. "Aw!" He held his arms up, trying to get the blood off his face. "Gross!"

Lucy stepped out again, not a single drop of blood on her. "Dear, I wish it didn't have to be so gruesome."

The Grim Reaper returned, carrying the unconscious little girl in his arms. She didn't appear to have any blood or wounds on her, either. "All right, which one of you is going to carry her home?" Before giving them a chance to respond he said, "Eeny, meeny, miny – you," and dropped her onto Kenny, knocking him over.

"Oof!"

"Why aren't YOU bringing her home?" Kyle asked. "You're her dad, right?"

"Because I have COLD nachos to get back to." He seemed to have directed the shout over his shoulder at Cartman.

"You're more concerned about NACHOS?!"

"No," he said firmly. "My daughter is not injured, and her friends are not dead. Though, YOU were supposed to be by now."

Kyle winced and took a step back.

"There's nothing more that can be done here. She won't wake up until tomorrow, at LEAST. This is actually much less damage than what she did in Louisiana…"

"Wait," Darren thought aloud. "So that 'storm' that wiped out a whole city…"

"Normally," Grim said, "I'm very busy doing my reaper duties and can't show up like this to stop her."

"Yeah," the banshee said. "That time in Louisiana, he was busy in China, so we had to wait for a whole FIVE HOURS for him to get there and stop the Princess! We tried to slow her down but…eh, well, luckily she was too busy rampaging to actually try and destroy our souls, so we were okay in the end."

"Exactly," he nodded. "Make sure this doesn't happen again! Because chances are, I WON'T be able to come stop her soon enough. You're very lucky that I happened to be off today. I rarely get off days. I already had to deal with bringing Sniper to the vet…"

"But what if it DOES happen again?" Stan asked. "What do we do?"

He stared silently at the boy for a long minute then pointed at him. "DON'T let it happen again!" He turned to the banshee. "Helen, start rounding up the souls of the people she accidentally killed. I'm going back to my nachos."

"Yes Sir!" The banshee disappeared below the ground.

After he disappeared through another vortex of screaming flames, Lucy turned to the boys. "Did any of you get hurt?"

"I might've broken Cartman's nose," Darren admitted. He wasn't sorry.

"Oh shit!" Stan jumped. "Clyde!"

They hurried over to where Clyde was lying face-down in a pile of snow. "Oh dear," Lucy turned him over. "Are you all right?"

"I can't feel my face…"

She helped him up and slowly walked him back over to where Kenny and Brooke still were. "I'm going to take Clyde to my shed to make sure he's not injured," Lucy said. "Or frostbitten…" She looked to Kenny. "Could you take the Princess with you to your house? I'm sure that Sniper will gladly accompany you."

"Okay." He sat up and shook his head. "Why my house, though?"

"Er, well, I'm going to have to come up with something to tell our… 'parents' and I think it would just be easier to say that she went to sleep at your place tonight. Pixie!"

The little yellow and green creature popped up and looked over at Brooke worriedly. "The Princess had another outburst…"

"Yes, but don't worry," Lucy told him. "It was a rather small-scale outburst, so I don't think it will attract the attention of the Nightmares yet. Right now, I need you to go find Riley and Leopold and make sure they are uninjured and that they get home safely."

Pixie bowed to her then flapped his wings and flew off somewhere.

"This was SMALL-scale?" Kyle looked over at the town. Half of the buildings were collapsed and on fire, and several smashed vehicles littered the streets. There was even a police car that had been bitten in half, the siren still going but fading as if it was a creature slowly bleeding to death. Speaking of blood, there were several vehicles and spots where one could tell that she had smashed someone beneath her claws or tail by the splattered blood and entrails everywhere.

"Very," Lucy told him. She looked over as Kenny got to his feet with the unconscious girl in his arms. She was holding on to something in her right hand. Lucy walked over and took it. "I-Is this a rib bone?"

"Oh," Kenny glanced briefly at the bloody bone. "That's probably mine."

"Eh, do you…want it back?"

He shrugged. "I don't need it anymore."

"Right, well." She tossed the bone aside and wiped her hand on Clyde's coat. "Let's be off then. The Royal Guard will be here soon, and I'd rather not get in their way."

Sniper snatched up the bone in his jaws then pranced back over to Kenny, waiting for the boy to lead the way. "Hey!" Kenny said, seeing the bone in his mouth. "Ah, whatever."

They walked a while with the others, until they all reached their neighborhood, at which point Kenny and Sniper went their separate way from the group. The rest of the walk was silent, aside from the sound of his own footsteps and Sniper's claws tapping on the sidewalk. And Brooke was so silent in her sleep that he actually stopped at one point to make sure that she was actually alive. It began to snow halfway there, which muffled what little sound was left.

Once they had arrived at his house, he shifted her in his hold, careful not to drop her as he awkwardly lifted his hand to twist the front doorknob and allowed the door to open on its hinges. Sniper didn't hesitate to push his way in first and shake the wet snow from his pelt, flinging droplets on the face of the man passed out on the sofa. Kenny stopped and watched a moment as the dog sniffed at his drunken father's face, and had to stop himself from laughing when the dog shook his head with a disgusted snort at the smell of the man's breath.

He carried Brooke through the house and into his room where he carefully placed her on the bed. He took a step back to look at her then looked down at the dog sniffing at his clothes. He looked down at himself; his clothes were plastered with a streak of blood like someone had thrown paint at him.

Sniper watched the boy leave the room then went over to the side of the bed. He sniffed at his master, giving her a quick lick on the cheek that made her grunt and turn over, then he turned and went to find Kenny.

Kenny had gone further down the hall to the bathroom, where he was trying to get a rusty old washing machine to work. The dog sat and watched curiously. He turned the dial, it clicked, but nothing happened. "Fucking piece of shit," Kenny muttered. After a few minutes, he got fed up with it, kicked the machine out of spite, then retrieved his bloody clothes and threw them in the bathtub.

Sniper lowered his head, ears pricked, as he heard the water being turned on. He waited a moment, making sure that the bath wasn't for him, then entered the room and sat beside the boy.

The water was barely getting warm. Kenny sighed and sat down on the tile floor as he waited, hoping it might get warmer. He leaned on the edge of the tub and rested his chin on his hand then glanced at Sniper beside him. The dog's tail thumped on the ground as they made eye contact and he edged closer. "You want me to pet you?" He reached his hand up and the dog happily moved his head towards him. "Do you know that your master's secretly a monster?"

Sniper let out a very soft bark that was more of a huffing sound.

"…Are YOU secretly a monster?"

Another huff, his tail still thumping against the floor.

"Man, how are all of you cute things actually scary monsters? Brooke's a giant monster, Lucy's a werewolf, and now you're telling me that YOU'RE a monster, too?"

Sniper whined and licked at the boy's face.

"I guess 'monster' isn't really a negative thing. At least, not where you guys come from. Still," he turned the water off and poured some laundry detergent into the tub. "The girl I like is actually a giant scary monster that breathes fire… That's fun, right?" He looked to the dog.

Sniper barked happily.

"Shh!"

He lowered his head and made a much quieter barking-huff sound.

"Wait can she understand you?"

The dog tilted his head at him.

"You better not tell her I said that!"

He turned his head the other way, tipping it deeper.

"Because!" He suddenly realized that he had been having a conversation with a dog. Then, he realized that this 'dog' very clearly understood everything he was saying. He looked away and started scrubbing at his clothes in the tub. "The monster thing doesn't bother me at all," he said. "But she's a fucking princess! I'm just… I mean, I'm washing my clothes in the fucking bathtub because the washer doesn't work! Then, I'm going to have to hang them outside to dry because we don't have a dryer. You'd think that's not that big a deal, but I have less than a handful of clothes, and these were the last clean ones!"

Sniper whined sadly, wishing he was capable of speech so that he could tell the boy something important. He had no way that he could think of to express it, though, so he laid down on his belly and touched his cold wet nose to Kenny's leg as a gesture of comfort instead.

After scrubbing the hell out of his clothes and hanging them out in the backyard, he hurried back inside and shivered. It was still snowing lightly outside, and he was only wearing underwear. Luckily for his wet clothes, the snow was already slowing down and was soon to stop. Of course, it was still cold.

He ran silently back to his room, Sniper getting excited and chasing after him like typical dogs do. Once he reached the door he stopped, turning just in time to see the big dog crash into him and slam him against the door. "FUCK!" He shouted, and they both froze, listening for any signs that someone had woken up. After a breathless minute, Kenny shoved the dog off of him, "You fucking asshole," then opened the door.

He went over to the bed, watching Brooke to make sure she didn't wake up as he awkwardly clambered over her to the other side, then held his breath as he lost his balance and rolled over onto his back beside her so hard that the bed shook. He laid there, unmoving, and watching her from the corner of his eye before reaching to pull the sheet up over them. He saw Sniper shoving his snout into a rathole at the base of the wall and rolled his eyes at the dog then turned over onto his side to face Brooke.

She was still asleep, but she looked tense and was clinging tightly to the bedsheet, muttering something very quietly that he couldn't make out. She curled up tighter and a strand of her long dark blonde hair fell across her face.

He reached his hand out, hesitated, then continued and lightly brushed her hair aside, faintly running his thumb across her cheek. She grunted quietly and her muttering suddenly ceased. He froze, afraid that he had woken her up, but she still not wake up; though, she did visibly relax and even released her grip on the bedsheet. He slowly took his hand away and placed it on top of hers, watching her carefully as he moved closer and lightly pressed his forehead against hers.

"I'll be right here," he whispered and closed his eyes.

.

Brooke awoke in the morning to find herself face-to-face with Karen, who was smiling broadly at her. She jumped slightly. "Karen!"

"Good morning!" the younger girl said cheerily.

"Wha-" Brooke quickly took in her surroundings. She was in Kenny's room, it was daylight outside the window, and Karen was standing at the side of the bed watching her.

"Kenny said you came to sleep over last-minute," Karen told her. She held up a plate with two half-defrosted waffles on it. "I brought you some breakfast!"

"Uh, thanks?" She gingerly took the plate and picked up a cold waffle to examine it.

"I don't think they finished defrosting all the way," Karen said. "Our toaster is broken, and I only just learned that you were here, so I guess I didn't give them much time…"

"That's…okay." Brooke didn't really want to eat the cold waffles, but she felt bad and took a bite anyway. She resisted the urge to make a face at the taste.

"They might be expired."

"Mm," she swallowed. "No, I think they're freezer-burnt."

"Oh, thank god you're awake!" Kenny said from the door. He was zipping up his parka as if he had just put it on. "Uh, do you remember what happened?"

She thought for a moment. "I remember…being really mad at Cartman." She was remembering what he had said, and a slight wave of heat passed from her body and warmed the waffles on her lap.

"Wow," Karen looked down at the food. "Those defrosted really fast!" She looked around. "Is the heater working again?"

"Huh?" Brooke looked at her, distracted from her anger.

Kenny walked over and sat beside her on the bed. He watched Karen go over to pet Sniper, who had just entered the room. "I'll tell you later," he said quietly.

Brooke had a feeling she already knew what had happened, despite not remembering anything after Cartman's remark.

A few hours after entertaining Karen, Kenny and Brooke left his house with Sniper in tow and headed in the direction of her home. They passed Cartman's house just as he opened the front door. Upon seeing Brooke, he gasped and ran back inside, slamming the door behind him.

"Darren punched him in the nose yesterday," Kenny told her.

"Good," she muttered, not looking up from the ground as they walked.

Upon reaching her house, they encountered Darren outside, and he quickly came over to meet them. "Brooke! Are you okay?"

She glanced up at him, but didn't actually say anything in response.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"I was about to tell her," Kenny said.

"Aw, Cartman made you so mad," Darren said with excitement. "You turned into a HUGE monster and started smashing and burning everything and screaming REALLY loud!"

"Gee," she rolled her eyes. "That totally makes me feel SO much better…"

"Sorry… But you almost ATE Clyde!"

"What?!" She jumped.

"Yeah! But some guy accidentally hit you with his car and distracted you."

"Is Clyde okay?!"

"Eh, he's fine," Darren shrugged. "He landed in a big pile of top snow. Lucy took care of him last night and he's in the shed. Watch!" He led them over to her own backyard and into the shed.

Clyde was sitting on one of the black sofas, wrapped up in a big throw blanket, and watching the television while Lucy fiddled with something under a microscope in the corner.

"Oh," Lucy stood up as they entered. "Princess, you're back. Good."

Clyde turned to look at them and jumped a little. He watched warily as Brooke approached him, then soon relaxed as she suddenly hugged him.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" she said.

"Uh," he blushed. "Th-That's okay."

"I can't believe I almost ate you!"

"That's a funny thing to say," Darren said.

"Hey!" Kenny stamped his foot. "I'M the one who got crushed yesterday!"

"What?!" Brooke looked at him.

"Oh yeah," Darren smiled. "You killed Kenny last night. Crushed him in your fist, just like a tiny tomato." He made a crushing motion with his right hand.

"Yeah – wait, what?" Kenny looked over at him oddly. "You remember?"

"Only because I accidentally recorded it on my phone and watched it this morning."

He looked very un-amused. "Accidentally?"

"What? I was tired of being left out, okay?! I wanna remember, too!"

"Eh," Lucy made a face. "I feel it would be better NOT to remember that scene…"

"What are you guys talking about?" Clyde tilted his head.

Feeling even worse than before, Brooke ran over to Kenny and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry!"

"Oh," his face grew hot. "I mean, it wasn't THAT bad. I've died worse ways."

"That doesn't make me feel better! You poor thing!"

"Oh…my bad." He felt both very nervous and extremely pleased to have her clinging so tightly to him. But he also didn't want her to be upset. He hugged her back. "I mean, I'm here."

Surprised, Lucy blushed a little watching them then carefully tucked some of her hair behind her ear. "Ahem, yes, well… Princess, the Head of the Council has requested an audience with you today."

She let go of Kenny and looked over at Lucy.

"You are not in trouble," Lucy told her. "He just wants to check up with you."

"Right…" she looked down.

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Aw, woo! We got to see Riley starting to interact more with others, we got to learn about Darren's permanent (mild) psychosis, we learned what the great Wechuge looks like, AND we learned a little about why Kenny is so unwilling to express to Brooke his feelings for her. Hooray! **

**Oh, btw, I cannot remember what I ever say or have yet to have said in these, so if I've mentioned it already before...whoops. Anyhoo, Lucy is not only a werewolf, but also an Oracle (on her mother's side), so she has this lovely ability to tell if someone if lying. And Sniper is a Hell hound in a disguised form.**


	23. Chapter 23: To the Nether

**Ah, so in this chapter we get our first look at the Nether. It will not be what you might be expecting *wink*.**

* * *

"Hey," Kenny asked at the lunch table. "Have you guys seen Brooke or Lucy at all?"

It was going on the third day since they had last seen or heard of the two girls. Lucy was known to disappear at times, but only for a day at most. Brooke, on the other hand, would usually at least respond to phone calls or texts, but he had yet to get a response from her. And when he went to check on her yesterday, no one appeared to be home. Even Sniper was absent, despite usually being found in the backyard during daylight hours.

"No," Darren replied. "They're not at school today."

"Obviously," he sighed.

"Do you think she's sick or hurt?" Kyle asked. "I mean, she DID turn into a monster hundreds of times her size and went on a rampage."

"Yeah," Stan added. "Then that car hit her leg. Maybe she's just staying home because her leg hurts?"

"No," Kenny said. "If that was it, then she'd still respond to messages. I went to her house yesterday, too, and nobody was there."

"That's not THAT weird, but…"

"Didn't Lucy mention something about seeing the Head of the Council?" Darren asked Kenny. "How long do you think that would take?"

"Not three days!"

"Hm, yeah…

At the end of school that day, the four of them met up at the bus stop together. They were huddled around Darren as he used his phone to try and call Brooke a few times. Each time, the phone would ring once then a voice would say 'Your call cannot be completed at this time. Please check the number, or try your call again.'

"Weird," Darren tilted his head. "Does it do that when you call Lucy?" He looked over at Kyle quizzically.

He winced. "I don't have her number!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, really?" Stan asked.

"Well, I…I never asked, okay?!"

Darren rolled his eyes then had an idea. "Hey! I don't know if he'll come for us, but I saw Brooke AND Lucy do this before…" He stepped away from them and shouted out towards the street, "PIXIE!"

A few seconds passed before a familiar puff of sparks and fire appeared before them then dispersed to leave behind a small yellow and green creature. "Hello!" He sang and bowed to them.

"It worked!" Stan pointed. Even Darren was amazed.

"Yes," Pixie straightened himself. "Normally, I only respond to the Princess, Spike, or Lucy."

"So, why'd you respond to Darren?"

"Well…" he blushed. "I was rather bored, you see. Paperwork can be rather dull… Anyways! How can I be of assistance?"

Kenny was the one who answered. "We haven't heard from Brooke or Lucy since Brooke freaked out and smashed the town, and we can't find them. Do you know where they are?"

"Oh, yes indeed!" Pixie smiled.

"What? Where?!"

"Why, they're in the Nether, of course!"

"The Nether?" Darren echoed.

Pixie nodded. "Yes. You see, after her visit with the Head of Council, the Princess decided to return home. Naturally, being the royal advisor, Lucy followed as well."

"She went back?!" Kenny jumped. "Forever?"

"Well…"

"Can you take us there?" He didn't give the little dragon time to answer the last question.

"Er, well, no…not all four of you, no."

"But you've poofed us all together before," Kyle said.

"That is true, but, you see, I…I'm not very good with long distances. If I try to take more than one extra person with me between realms, then…eh, someone might lose a limb…or more."

"Well," Kyle said, "there's gotta be another way, right?"

"Hmm," Pixie tapped a claw to his snout in thought. "Ah! Yes! We can take the Skeleton Train! Also known as the Nether Express."

"Where's that at?" Darren asked.

Pixie summoned a whistle in his hand. It resembled a tiny spinal column with a little skull on the end. He brought the tail-end of the whistle to his mouth and blew. The jaw of the little skull opened and a shrill, high-pitched whistle, almost like a tiny scream, sounded from it. He took the whistle away from his mouth and it vanished. "Wherever you need it, so long as you have a Ticket Whistle."

Moments passed, then the ground around them began to rumble. The children glanced around nervously, trying to locate the source of the tremors. Suddenly, not far down the street, a strange rift ripped open. They leaned out to get a look at it, but Pixie quickly pulled them all back. Just in time, too, because as they stepped back, they heard the chugging sound of a classic train growing louder and louder before a loud train horn sounded and the train burst from the rift into the world.

The children shouted and fell backwards as the huge locomotive suddenly burst through the rift then came to a screeching halt in front of them, steam hissing around it. Pixie was the only one not surprised, in fact, he appeared rather excited.

The train was ebony black and very shiny, with deep blue trimming and dark purple cars trailing behind it. The front was designed like a giant skull, with two lights for eyes and the teeth acting as the cowcatcher, and the chimney on top resembled a large top hat.

The cab door opened and a tall skeleton wearing a conductor's outfit and hat leaned out to look at them through hollow eye sockets. "All aboard the Skeleton Train! Hahaha!"

"Um," Kyle hesitated. "Is this…safe?"

"Safe?" the skeleton cocked his head, his bottom jaw swinging a little. "Sure it is! As long as you remain inside the cars at all times while the train is moving. If you fall out into the void then we can't go getcha! Haha! Seriously though, don't try to exit the train while it's moving."

"Uhhhh…"

"Come along!" Pixie said and poofed over to the first car's steps. The door slid open and he hopped inside.

The four boys exchanged looks with each other then followed after the Pygmy Dragon. The car was designed like a typical steam locomotive's interior. There was a runway down the middle and on either side were rows of cushioned seats that faced each other in groups of fours. At the back end was a door that led to the next car. In the seats sat monsters and creatures of all manners. From skeletons, to banshees, to ghosts and spirit balls, to bizarre animals with glowing eyes, and even some people who appeared to be human but were likely some kind of monster in disguise. In the back corner, there was even a large werewolf in its beast form sitting with one leg folded across the other and reading through a newspaper.

None of the creatures seemed to pay any mind to the four humans that had just boarded, and Pixie led them over to a group of four seats that were empty. He hopped on to Kenny's lap after the boy had chosen a seat by the runway. "I'm quite excited," Pixie smiled. "I never need to use the train, so I've never been on it."

"Why does the Nether have a train?" Darren asked.

"Not all monsters can poof or teleport," Pixie told him. "And some just like the ride. Besides, the train is quick and easy, and it goes straight to the front of the town. Er, by that I mean, the capital of the Nether. The town in front of the castle. It's called Gateway. The train also makes stops at the other districts of the Nether, stopping at their capitals to pick up or drop off people."

"_Attention all passengers…" _a voice spoke from an intercom in the corner. _"Please, brace yourselves as the train prepares to move once again. Feel free to walk around as you please AFTER the starting jerk. Thank you. Next stop: Nether Capital, Gateway."_

"What does he mean, brace ourselves?" Stan asked.

The train jerked forward a bit, steam releasing from its sides like breath, then suddenly shot forward with such speed that Stan and Kyle were almost knocked forward out of their seats while Darren and Kenny slammed backwards into their own seats. The scenery outside the window changed suddenly as well, from South Park's snow-covered mountains and evergreens to a multicolored blur, then suddenly a landscape of shady hills surrounded by mountains. Darren looked out the window; they appeared to be traveling along the side of a mountain with a rocky wall on one side and a sheer cliff on the other.

The train had now reached a steady pace, and Stan and Kyle righted themselves in their seats. "Jesus Christ," Stan said. "They could give someone whiplash!"

Pixie hopped over to Darren's lap to look out the window. "Ooh, how exciting!" He pointed at the scenery and turned to look at them. "These are known as the Brute Hills. It's a massive hilly landscape that is the native home of a species of wild creatures we refer to as 'Brutes'."

"What the heck are Brutes?" Kenny asked.

"They are like moles. But bigger. Very strong animals, but lacking in the intelligence department."

"This is the Nether?" Kyle peered through the window. "I thought it'd be more like…I don't know, Hell?"

"Hell is a separate realm," Pixie told him. "Not in the Nether's jurisdiction. Though, there ARE many different biomes and landscapes across the Nether. We do have a district of lava and fire, though, it may not be the best idea for humans to visit that location. Human flesh is…not fireproof."

"Damn right it ain't," Kenny said.

Darren looked over at him oddly.

Pixie looked back out the window. "Brute Hills consists of a few mountains as well, as you can see. Just north of Brute Hills is Gateway and the castle. Behind the castle, further north, is the Kraken's Lake, and behind that is the Field of Dreams. We should arrive in Gateway in about…mm, fifteen minutes."

"Kraken?" Stan echoed.

"Field of Dreams?" Kyle repeated.

Pixie nodded. "Then, past the Field of Dreams, is the Forest of Lost Souls. Also known as Purgatory. Not to be confused with the Woods of No Return, which is to the east of the castle. Only werewolves and the Princess can navigate those woods without getting lost in the fog forever. It is also the native home to unicorns."

"Unicorns?" Darren said. "At first, it felt like we were going to Halloween Town or something, but now I feel like we just entered a storybook. This is great!"

"Well," Pixie smiled, "all legends and fables have a source, yes?"

A skeleton wearing a long black and white dress came down the aisle pushing a cart full of sweets and sandwiches. She stopped the cart beside them. "Snacks, anyone? Tea?"

"Uh, we don't have any money with us," Stan told her.

She tilted her head. "Money? Oh, dear, no! This is complementary!"

"Free?!" Kenny said then started pointing at things he wanted. "Hell yeah! I want those, and that, and whatever that thing is!"

"_Attention all passengers… Please take your seats and brace yourselves for the train to stop."_

This time, the boys sat back against their seats, tensing themselves in an attempt not to fall again. The train screeched and suddenly halted.

"_We have now arrived at Nether Capital, Gateway. Please remember to take all of your belongings with you upon exiting the train. We will depart in exactly seven minutes to our next destination: Sky District Capital, Ascension."_

Pixie flapped his wings and flew out through the now open door. The boys hurried after him, Kenny shoving sweets in his parka as he ran. They stepped off the train to find themselves in a town that was more like a city due to its size, and had the appearance and feel of a medieval town fused with a more modern one.

There were no vehicles; instead, people just walked or, if they had wings, flew. Some teleported and poofed in and out of existence. The area they were in was bustling with activity and appeared to be a shopping district with a variety of shops and items. The center was open, with cobblestone paths and a large white marble fountain that stood directly in the middle. There was a big statue of a Wechuge atop the fountain, but it looked a bit different from the one Brooke had turned into.

This one was thicker with more muscles, whereas Brooke was muscular in the limbs with a broad chest but thin in the stomach and waist. The feathers of the statue Wechuge were also longer and neat, and the end of the tail's feathers made a large fan shape, where Brooke did not have this and her feathers had been shorter and wild. The antlers were also more impressive, broader, and with many more prongs. The statue was poised in almost a sitting position, its tail wrapping around the fountain so that the fanned part reached the ground below, the wings half open, and its head raised in a roar.

Pixie noticed them staring up at the statue. "Oh, that is a statue of the late Queen."

"Brooke's real mom?" Darren asked.

"Yes." He looked up at the statue and sighed. He looked sad but whimsical at the same time, as if reliving a bittersweet memory. "Her name was Sol. S-O-L. Like the sun. The statue is white, but Sol herself had feathers of magnificent hues of orange and gold and red. Truly a sight to behold. Oh, and if you thought the Princess was big, her mother was so big that she could only enter the castle in her human form!"

"Holy shit!" Stan said.

"Speaking of the castle," Darren pointed.

Even from where they were, they could easily see the massive white and gold castle in the distance.

"Wha- It's HUGE!" Stan shouted.

"Indeed," Pixie smiled.

"What's that big black thing on top?" Kyle covered his eyes to block the sunlight and squinted.

"Oh, that's the gatekeeper, Dante. He's the first dragon that the Queen created."

Darren started jogging in place, super excited now at the prospect of meeting a giant dragon in real life. "Let's gooooo!"

"Everyone," Pixie spread his wings, "to me, please."

They reached out and touched the little creature, and, in the blink of an eye, suddenly found themselves standing on a massive drawbridge over a moat of lava that wrapped around the incredibly ginormous castle that was now towering over them. They almost fell backwards trying to get a good look up at the castle. The huge dragon atop the entrance lowered its head to them. It was so big it made them look like mice being compared to a lion. It snorted, knocking them back a little from the force then lifted its head back up and returned to its nap.

Darren squealed excitedly.

"Oh. My. God." Kyle was frozen with fear.

"Hey! Hey, you!" An unfamiliar voice called from somewhere below.

They went over to the edge of the bridge and looked down. In the lava below were many skeletal crocodiles that were staring up at them excitedly. "Yeah, you guys!" One of them smiled.

"Why don'tcha come down for a swim?" Another called.

"Yeah!" a third added. "Come on! Hey!"

"What?!" Stan shouted. "We can't swim in lava. We'll die!"

The many crocodiles laughed.

"Ignore them, please," Pixie said. "Before we enter the castle, I should warn you. Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, agree to anything that involves your life or soul in the deal! In fact, do not agree to ANY deals with the servants or residents."

"They're gonna try and get our souls?!" Kyle flinched.

"You must understand," Pixie told him. "Souls are everything here. Wealth and even sources of endless energy. They don't mean any real harm, but…just be aware. Come along now."

They followed him across the bridge and up to a massive set of doors that opened on their own just enough to allow them through. The inside of the castle was just as impressive as the outside. Mainly white with marble, and gold trimmings along baseboards, doorways, and golden chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling and wall-mounted candelabras whose flames would come and go as they pleased and were different colors.

Darren pointed at the flames. "I'm seeing souls again."

"That is normal here," Pixie informed them. "You will all see them."

For such a huge space with the highest ceiling they'd ever seen, the castle was lit up completely somehow. They appeared to be in some kind of grand hallway with white columns lined up along either side and a wide red carpet in the center of the floor that lead all the far way to the other end of the hall where a massive golden, red-cushioned throne was located. There were several other hallway entranceways located along both sides of the hall, from which different monsters would move in and out of.

"Man," Darren stared. "Forget Hogwarts, this is AWESOME!"

"Heyyy!"

"Heyyyyyyyyy!"

Charles and Lamar suddenly burst from the ground, startling the children.

"What are you guys doing here?" Kyle was still secretly afraid that they might try to take his soul.

"Ha!" Lamar laughed. "We live here!"

"Yeah!" Charles said. "What are YOU guys doing here?"

"I brought them here," Pixie said. "They wished to see the Princess and or Lucy."

"What?" Lamar looked at him. "Didn't ya hear? The Princess said that if the human boys came looking, NOT to take them to her."

"Oh? I was not aware…"

"What?" Kenny said. "Why not?!"

The two banshees shrugged and Charles said, "Dunno. But she didn't say that we had to stop you guys from looking for her on your own. So, have at it!"

"Ha! Good luck with that! This castle is the most massive castle EVER! Even WE get lost sometimes."

"Haha, yeah! And we've lived here for like…uh…wait, how old are we?"

Lamar looked at him. "Eh…ah who cares? We're immortal!"

"Yeah!"

Another banshee popped up beside them.

"JESUS FUCK!" Darren jumped.

This one had pink eyes and a female voice. "Hey!" she seemed aggressive. "What are _humans_ doing here?"

"Pixie brought them!" Charles told her.

Lamar nodded. "They're friends with the Princess."

"Not good enough friends if she doesn't want 'em around! Get outta here!"

The two male banshees rolled their eyes.

"Now, now, Cassidy," Pixie soothed. "I'm sure the Princess wouldn't mind them here." He turned back to the kids. "I'm going to go locate either the Princess or Lucy," he told them. "We'll get this sorted out. In the meantime, feel free to explore the castle. Don't worry about getting lost, we'll find you, or you can always call for me. Remember what I told you outside. Oh! And if you end up in a twisty hallway with holes all over the ceiling and walls, do NOT make eye contact with the giant snake!"

"Giant snake?!" Stan cringed.

Pixie disappeared, leaving them with the three banshees.

"So…" Darren bounced on his heels. "What now?"

"Whatever you want!" Lamar smiled. "You can try to find the Princess. Or not. Either way, you'll be exploring!"

"Come on guys," Kenny said to the banshees. "Just tell me where Brooke is."

They stubbornly snapped their jaws shut and shook their heads. "No way!" Charles said. "Princess said 'No'!"

The female banshee, Cassidy, snapped her jaws at Kenny. He managed to jump back as her teeth came very close to his side. "You're that rat child with Cthulhu's curse!"

Darren snorted at the insult, but quickly covered his mouth when Kenny shot him a glare.

"Bah!" she shook herself like a dog. "Not only are you human, but you're cursed. AND you're poorer than dirt!"

"How do you know any of that?!" He snapped.

"Oh, we all know about you!" Charles smiled.

"Yeah," Lamar added. "Remember? The Nether handles souls and death and all that good stuff. And YOU die all the time! Ah," he sighed whimsically. "An endless source of souls from just ONE soul. Cthulhu's got it good."

"Yeah," Charles snickered. "Except he got locked away in a tiny dung-hole dimension by a kid hahaha!"

"Yeah, not to mention that that curse is banned, too. Cheater."

"What are they talking about?" Stan asked Kyle, who shrugged in response.

Cassidy was pleased with Kenny's angry reactions and continued to antagonize him. "Heh, poorer than dirt and living with wild RATS. In a junkyard, no less. Do you have fleas, too?"

"I don't have fleas! …a-anymore."

She laughed loudly. "HA! Pathetic! You don't even deserve to be NEAR the Princess, much less _friends_ with her! You have nothing, and you ARE nothing!"

"Shit, man," Darren mumbled.

Charles and Lamar were leaning away from Cassidy, looking frightened and concerned. "Eh…" Lamar said. "We'll…uh, we should…"

"I'm getting the fuck outta here!" Charles said then vanished. Lamar quickly followed.

The others couldn't see Kenny's reaction from where they were standing, but he was silent and clearly tense. "What's your problem?" Stan said angrily to Cassidy.

"Yeah," Kyle added. "Leave him alone!"

She pulled the rest of her body from the ground and stood up, towering over them. She leaned forward, claws out, mouth open, and long tail lashing as a strange sound started picking up from her.

"CASSIDY!"

The banshee jumped and quickly looked over her shoulder. Lucy was approaching angrily. Cassidy gasped and vanished.

"You unruly little -!" Lucy stopped and sighed. She regained her composure and turned to face the boys. "I'm SO terribly sorry for anything she might have done or said. Banshees can be troublesome, and female banshees are…the bane of my existence. Ahem, Pixie informed me of your presence."

"Lucy!" Kyle ran over to her, stopped himself, then awkwardly shifted his feet. "Er, uh, h-how are you?"

"I am fine." She smiled at him then turned to Kenny, noticing that he was silently looking at the floor. "You've come to talk with Brooke, yes?"

He looked up at her. He went to speak, and for a moment he hesitated. "Um. Why doesn't she want to see m- us?"

Lucy let out another sigh. "The Princess…is not upset with any of you, if that's your concern. She's upset with herself."

"What do you mean?" Stan asked.

"Well, she's quite upset with herself over that outburst she had. Mainly because she could have harmed, or even killed you all." She glanced at Kenny. "Or worse. She's supposed to avoid the Kingdom because of the Nightmares, but she refuses to return to the mortal realm."

"Can you take us to her?" Kyle asked.

She looked away. "Eh, well…no. She gave orders not to."

"Are you going to stop us from looking on our own?" Kenny asked.

She shifted uncomfortably. "…No. I…think it would be a good thing actually…if you talked with her." She seemed to be talking specifically to him, but wouldn't actually look up at him.

"Can you at least follow us," Stan asked her, "just so we don't end up getting murdered or eaten?"

"Certainly."

The boys looked around the hall, trying to decide which way to go first. They settled on a hallway to the left that led to more hallways. It was almost like a maze. The whole while, Lucy was looking very uncomfortable, as if she desperately wanted to say something, but she kept quiet and only followed them from behind.

Before they knew it, they ended up in a long hallway that curved and twisted. There were huge dark holes on the ceiling and walls and they no longer saw any servants wandering around. There were also no doors in the hallway and they couldn't see the end.

"What is up with this hallway?" Darren asked.

"Guys," Stan moved himself in the middle of them all. "Pixie said something about this hall and a giant snake."

"Ah, yes," Lucy said. "This is the Hall of the Basilisk."

"What is that?!"

Darren rolled his eyes. "Pfft. Haven't you seen Harry Potter? It's a giant snake, duh."

Stan started shaking.

"Basilisk can refer to a number of creatures," Lucy said. "But yes, he is, in fact, a giant snake with a soul-piercing glare. In other words, do NOT look at his eyes. You WILL die."

"WHAT?!"

A loud hissing sound echoed from the walls, and Stan yelped and covered his eyes with his hands. They heard the sound of something huge and scaly slithering behind them, hissing as it flicked it tongue in and out to taste their scents. They saw a thick, grayish-green body wrapping around them and quickly all shot their gazes downward.

"Greetingssss, Royal Advisor…" a smooth voice hissed in their ears.

"Hello, Sir," Lucy curtsied. Even she was not looking up at the beast.

"What brings you here? Have you brought me a ssssnack?"

"Forgive me, but no. These boys are friends to the Princess. As well as myself. I'm terribly sorry to have disturbed you for nothing. We were only passing through."

"Hmm…I sssee… How…disappointinggg."

"I'll be sure to have the servants bring you something to satisfy your appetite."

"Mm, dooo… I would be…ever sssooo grateful. Hmm?"

Curious at his reaction, she looked up just a tad to see Kenny collapse on the ground, a swarm of rats running out from nowhere to devour his corpse. "Oh dear," she sighed.

The Basilisk laughed loudly, greatly amused now that he realized who the child was. "Sssuch a foolish, daring boy! I like…" He smoothly pulled himself back into one of the holes, his long body and tail trailing after him.

"Oh my god!" Stan uncovered his eyes after hearing the serpent leave. "He killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!" Kyle shouted, then quickly covered his mouth, fearing that the snake would take offense and return. "Uh…let's keep going."

Lucy stood there, tapping her foot rapidly, then finally huffed. "You're going the wrong way!"

They looked back at her. "What?"

She gasped and covered her mouth. After a moment, she slowly lowered her hands. "You – You're going in the wrong direction."

"Oh, god damnit!" Darren said.

.

"Hey! Hey, kid!" A skeletal crocodile called from the lava below. "Jump in! Hahaha!"

Kenny flipped his middle finger at them then entered the castle. He hurried through the entrance hallway, stopping halfway to decide on a direction, then entered a hall to the right. The hall he chose was filled with glowering balls of flame that bounced around and chased each other like children playing tag. One of the souls flew over to him and circled around him as if looking him over.

"Do you know where the Princess's room is?" Kenny asked.

The soul bounced excitedly and started nudging him forward from behind. He was surprised to find that the soul was solid. After a moment, the pale purple soul zipped around in front of him and started gliding down the hallway. He chased after it, keeping his eyes locked on it so as not to mistake another for it.

Finally, they reached the end of the hall where it split off in two directions. The soul paused a moment to wait for him, then darted down the left hallway. This hall was lined with many doors. Most of them looked the same, but there was a set of double doors at the far end that was very grand, not only in size but decoration as well. They were carved so that both doors displayed skeletal dragons rearing up towards each other and pressing their hands together. The doorframe and handles were gold.

The soul stopped before the doors, nuzzling Kenny's chest before suddenly darting away back where they had come. He looked up at the huge doors. Would she really just be in her room? What Lucy said made it sound like Brooke was depressed, so maybe she really was just hiding away in her room. He took in a deep breath and reached out to touch one of the doors and push it open. It was surprisingly light, but it may have been opening on its own, too.

The inside of the room was dark and round, and there was one large window, more like a glass door, that led to a balcony outside. Curtains were draped over it though, blocking most of the sunlight, so the only other source of light was what appeared to be some kind of lamp that resembled the moon, with a similar soft white glow, and was propped up on a black carving of an ocean wave and sitting atop a regal-looking bedside table. The bed was large and tall, and it had a canopy with long, thin laced curtains. He could make out the silhouette of someone behind them.

"What are you doing here?"

He felt his heart flutter at the familiar voice and went over to the bed. He hesitated, then carefully pushed aside part of the curtain and climbed up onto the large bed. Brooke was laying with her head propped up with thick fancy pillows and peering at him over the book she was holding. The light from the lamp lit up only the area beside her. He swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous.

She sighed and closed the book, placing it on the bed, beside her. She gestured to the space on her other side. "Come here."

He quickly crawled over and laid down beside her. The bed was very large, but somehow, he ended up right up against her. He flinched in surprise when she reached over and pulled his hood down.

"That's better," she said. "Now, what do you want?"

"Um…I was wondering…if you were going to come back?"

"I doubt it."

His stomach lurched. "So, you're staying here?"

"I can't," she replied.

"Oh…so…why can't you come back to South Park?"

"It's not that I can't. I don't want to."

He was tense. "Why?"

She sighed. "I don't know how to explain it… I shouldn't have let myself get so attached to you – you guys…"

"Well, what's wrong with that?"

"Because, when things like my _outbursts_ happen, it makes it more…difficult. I could've KILLED them! I DID kill YOU. And there's a chance that I could destroy your soul, you know. So you wouldn't come back. In fact, you wouldn't exist!"

"But…you didn't."

She looked at him. "That's not the point."

"I know…" He turned over and hugged her tightly. "But you ARE attached, right? So, don't leave…"

She tensed, her face feeling hot as she felt him bury his face in her neck.

"Maybe…maybe if it happens again, before you actually turn, I can stop you?"

"How are you going to do that?" she scoffed.

"I dunno…I'll think of something."

She huffed, holding back tears, then turned and hugged him, too.

.

"Just take us there already!" Darren said.

They had gone through several more hallways and encountered many more dangerous and frightening monsters with Lucy telling them that they were heading in the wrong direction before they had had enough. The three boys had now resorted to begging and pleading for the girl to just show them the way.

Lucy was trying not to look at them. She closed her eyes tightly, then finally gave in, and sighed defeatedly. "All right! All right. Follow me…"

.

"This is the door to Brooke's room?" Darren stared up at the carved double doors.

"I'm pretty sure we've been down this hallway," Kyle glanced around. "How did we miss this?"

Lucy sighed and pushed open the door. "I'm sorry, Princess, I couldn't – Oh!" She was surprised to find Brooke sitting up at the edge of the bed with Kenny beside her. "Oh, I'm sorry," she felt flustered all of a sudden. "I – I should have knocked."

"Kenny?" Stan pushed around her. "How'd you get here first?"

"I asked a soul for help," he replied.

"Lucy," Brooke said suddenly.

She stiffened, still recovering from her mistake. "Y-Yes?"

"About going back to South Park…what do you want?"

"W-Well, I think that it would be best if-"

"No," she stopped her. "I'm asking what you WANT."

"Well I…I want what's best for you."

"I know. But for this moment, I want to know, what YOU want. Not as my servant. As my friend, no, my _family_."

"I…" she seemed lost and amazed. She shot a very brief look at Kyle. "I…I think it would be best…for both of us, to return to South Park."

Brooke eyed her for a moment then hopped down from her bed. "Good, because I was starting to think that, too."

"O-Oh! Yes, very good! Um, I'll have Spike make the arrangements right away."

"Thank you."

"Y-Yes, of course!"

"Well, that was easier than I expected," Darren smiled.

Brooke watched them leave her room then glanced down as Kenny grabbed her hand. "You'll think of something?"

He smiled at her. "Yeah. I promise."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**A bit of cuteness at the end there. The Skeleton Train/Nether Express is totally, absolutely, gonna admit right now, a combined reference to the Polar Express, the Hogwarts Express, and the Knight Bus. Lol**

**Did you know, the real folkloric creature called a Basilisk is actually NOT a snake? Well, it depends on the culture, but the original Basilisks are a mythical species of reptilian creatures with wings and a big cockerel (rooster) head. **


	24. Chapter 24: Deadbeat

**A little more fun in the Nether, which is a better place than the mortal realm. I very much, purposely wanted to make it like that. Monsters are kinder than humans, and a placed called the Nether is a much more pleasant, unpolluted place than Earth. Yes, all done on purpose. OH! And more of Riley in this one, too! I love writing his parts. Poor little guy... My boyfriend asked me why I make such tragic characters. It's because it makes for a more interesting story, in my opinion. Also, I like characters and situations that people can potentially relate to. Uh...this chapter has some bad child abuse at one part. Just a warning. **

* * *

"You know," Kyle was saying as they followed Brooke through the castle, "the Nether isn't at all what I expected. It's actually pretty nice. Um, other than that lava moat around the castle. What's that about, anyway?"

"There are a number of different species and races of monsters that call the castle home," Lucy explained. "Either they live here specifically to serve the royal family, or they were brought and raised here as babies or children. There are no orphanages in the Nether. Those who have no where to go end up here. The Princess allows them to stay here or find another home. What I mean to say is, some of those monsters have special requirements and needs, so we must attend to them all."

"So," Darren mused, "some monsters just want to sit in a pool of lava."

"Well, yes."

"It adds a fun aesthetic, too," Brooke added. She stopped and turned to face them all. "Well, since you're here, do you want a small tour? The castle is huge, but it's easy to get around when you know where everything is. Or when you have pygmy dragons. Pixie! Poppy!"

Pixie appeared before her with another pygmy dragon beside him. This one was a light red color with black specks in her feathers and no spikes or horns. They both bowed.

"Yes, Princess?" They said together.

"We're going to show these guys around the castle and it's grounds."

"Ooh, fantastic!" Pixie clapped his hands together excitedly.

Brooke reached down and picked Poppy up from the ground. Pixie bounded over to Kyle and jumped into his arms. Kyle was a little taken aback, but caught the creature anyway.

"So," Brooke asked, "what have you guys seen so far?"

"Hallways," Stan said. "Lots of hallways."

"We met the Basilisk!" Darren smiled. "And this really bitchy banshee called Cassidy."

"Ugh," Brooke rolled her eyes. "Right, well, let's go out back to the lake."

"Is that where the Kraken lives?" Darren asked. He flinched; they were already outside.

They were behind the castle and standing near a very large lake of gray, still water that they could not see through. "Titties!" Kenny pointed at something.

At the edge of the water, there was a nude woman smiling at them. Her lower half was still submerged, but her chest was visible, barely covered by her long black hair.

"Careful," Brooke grabbed the back of his parka and stopped him from walking forward. She was smirking. "That's a Siren. They don't actually look like that at all. You hear that weird humming sound?"

"Uh, yeah, actually." He looked around for the source, as it was seemingly coming from all around them. "What is that?"

"It's the Siren Song. A strange frequency of sound waves that mess with mortals' minds and make them think they're seeing a pretty mermaid lady when they're actually seeing a hideous water serpent. If you get too close to the water, it'll tear your limbs off and eat you."

"So, the titties are a lie?" He looked over his shoulder at Brooke.

"Yes, the titties are a lie. She, actually, that one's a male, is a wild animal."

"How the hell can you tell the difference?" Darren asked. He was squinting to get a look at a few other Sirens on the other side of the lake. "They all look like naked ladies."

"Mm-hm," she nodded. "Their favorite food is human flesh, so a long time ago, they found a way to lure people over to them. They can't survive out of the water for long. Anyways, all of us monsters see them as they really are. Really ugly, obnoxious, screaming fish."

"Screaming?" Stan tilted his head.

"Oh yeah, they scream really loud when they're mad." She pushed Kenny aside then marched over to the bank where the nearest Siren was. Sensing her intentions, the creature hissed at her, suddenly revealing a mouth full of jagged teeth. "Shoo! Get out of here!" The Siren dove beneath the surface, a long green, slimy tail splashing up water in the process. "They're considered a nuisance and a pest," Brooke said.

"Then why don't you get rid of them?" Kyle asked.

"The Kraken likes to eat them."

A huge black tentacle suddenly burst from the water and slammed down on one of the Sirens on the other bank. The Siren screeched horribly, its tail flailing sharp fins around, but its efforts were in vain. The tentacle tightened around its body and pulled it below the surface. The boys stared in shock as they saw blood in the water now.

"W-" Stan couldn't find words for a minute. "Was that –?"

"Yep," Brooke smiled. "Anyways, enough of that. Poppy, Pixie, take us to the training grounds."

"Of course," Poppy said in a soft voice.

They were now standing in a large, square-shaped area of grass lined along the edges with tall stone columns. There were many different monsters, mostly werewolves and other muscular beasts, that were sparring with each other in armor or attacking targets and dummies. Some of them were even in their human forms and using weapons. A few others were resting in the shade of a long, covered area with tables and seats where a lady was passing around drinks.

"These are the training grounds," Brooke explained. "The Royal Guard are different from the army itself. These guys are the ones who actually go out and fight…if need be."

Several of the nearby monsters noticed them and stopped briefly to greet Brooke with a bow before returning to their tasks. A solid black werewolf, larger than most of the others, and heavily scarred all over his body, came over to meet them. He stood up on his hind legs and stared fiercely down at them through golden eyes. His top fangs were so large that they were protruding from his mouth, and there was a large scar across his chest that ran all the way down to his hip. The boys looked up nervously at the big beast, but Lucy and Brooke were as calm as usual. The werewolf bowed all of a sudden and in a very proper fashion.

"Good evening, Princess," he said in a deep voice.

Brooke preformed a small curtsy, which actually surprised Kenny and the other boys. "Hello." She turned to introduce them. "This is Sith. He's Captain of the Royal Army and personally trained even myself."

"You were trained to fight by a werewolf?" Darren said. "God, that makes SO much sense now."

"He is also Lucy's father," she ignored Darren.

Kyle tensed and stared up at the beast. "N-Nice to meet you, Sir."

Lucy stepped forward to greet the werewolf with a smile. "Father, this is that boy I told you about. Kyle."

He couldn't be anymore tense now. "Y-You told him about me?"

"Yes," Sith lowered himself to all fours now, still towering over them all. "The boy who almost got mauled by my daughter on the full moon…"

"Uh, I-I – I didn't mean for –"

Sith laughed. "Why are you so frightened, boy? I didn't think you would be frightened of ME after coming face-to-face with a werewolf at her worst! I'm glad that you were able to call her out of it." He leaned closer to Kyle and whispered, "You could only do that if she trusts you with her life."

"Really?"

"Mm," he leaned back and smiled at them all. "On a personal tour with the Princess, I see? Not that it's actually difficult to gain an audience with her. She's friendlier than she makes herself out to be."

Brooke huffed. "All right, where to next…"

"Have you shown them your precious garden?" Sith asked.

"No. I'd rather not…"

"Hm, still not taking visitors to the garden? That's fine."

"No," she said. "I think we should be getting back to South Park now. Poppy, Pixie, take us to the Oracle Chamber, then from there you can take us to my backyard."

The Pygmy Dragons happily obliged. The children all appeared in the familiar dark chamber where floating stones danced around, then suddenly they were standing in front of Lucy's shed. It was already almost sunset.

"You guys should all head home," Lucy said. "It is a school night, after all."

"Uh, will we see you girls tomorrow?" Kyle asked.

"Yes."

"Uh, hey Brooke," Kenny said. "Do you want to come to my house? Uh, Karen was asking about you last night."

"Okay. Let me go get some things." She left to go inside of the house.

After she had entered and closed the door, Darren asked Lucy, "Why doesn't she let anyone in her garden? Like, I know she can be kind of protective, even of plants, but it's not like we're going to mess them up."

"Ah," Lucy said sadly. "The garden was made by her brother. Desmond was a very unique person. A being of death that was in love with life. He loved all things, especially the living things in nature. He collected many plants and several animals from the mortal world and brought them back to the castle and made that garden. It's quite extensive. Brooke is the one who looks after it now. She only allows Poppy and Pixie to enter the garden and tend to the plants and animals when she is away. Perhaps, one day, she will allow you to see it."

"Wow," Kyle said. "Desmond sounds like such a nice, innocent person."

"Yes…he was."

**…**

Riley had skipped lunch that day and went straight to his spot in the shadow of the school building. He hadn't been very hungry today after the blow to the stomach his father had given him last night. The past few days, the man had been increasingly aggressive. Riley was sure it was due to a lack of alcohol or his favorite drug that the man was taking out his anger on him for.

After getting home from school yesterday, he was going straight for his room when his father snatched him up by the back of his shirt and threw him against the wall. Normally, Riley would be expecting such a thing, but truth be told, he hadn't realized that his father was home until he stepped out from the kitchen and caught him. Before he had had any time to process what was happening, the man landed a hard hit to the boy's stomach then marched right out of the house and slammed the door behind him.

Riley had stayed in that spot for a while, curled up with pain. It had been a while since he had been hit that hard. After some amount of time that he didn't bother keeping, he slowly got up and edged his way into his room. He had reached the room in time for his stomach to give up, and ended up vomiting on the floor. But he was sure to do it somewhere where his father wouldn't notice, as the fear of another hit was stronger than the need to vomit.

Riley leaned back against the building and sighed. He subconsciously brought his hand to his stomach. It was still very sore.

"Heya, Riley!" Butters said cheerily and sat down beside him.

"Hey." He noticed that Butters had developed another new tendency lately besides the hand-holding. The other boy had now developed a habit of sitting so close to him that he would end up almost leaning against Riley. Of course, Riley didn't mind, but it kind of reminded him of the way Kenny and Brooke acted with each other.

"Why didn't you go to lunch today?"

"I'm not really hungry," Riley grunted. "Stomach hurts…"

"Oh. Well, Happy Birthday!"

He had forgotten about that. "Uh, thanks." He laughed a little.

"So…" Butters blushed and looked away. "Are you…really not doing anything today? A-After school, I mean?"

"No." He looked over at him and smiled softly. "Did you have something in mind?"

"Uh, w-well I was just, you know… Do – Do you want to come over to my house later?"

"Of course I do. Why do you even ask?"

Butters giggled a little and relaxed. "Okay! Because I got you something, but it's at my house."

"You…really don't have to get me stuff." Riley looked away, embarrassed.

"I know. But you'll like it! I-I think…"

"Heh, I'm sure I'll like anything from you, Butters."

Butters laughed, clearly not sure of how to respond to the remark. His face was tinged pink, and it made Riley feel giddy. He shifted a little and leaned closer to his face but stopped himself and looked away before Butters noticed.

.

Riley held his arms up in a big stretch, forgetting about his sore stomach, and suddenly winced from the sharp pain. It wasn't nearly as sore anymore, and he was starting to get hungry. Hopefully, whatever Butters had planned involved food first.

They had met up again at the last bell and started walking together towards Butters' house. As expected, Butters had grabbed Riley's hand and held it the whole way. Though, this time Riley noticed that he was acting a little more bashful than usual. He wouldn't make eye contact, and when he did accidentally, he would giggle and smile at Riley as his face pinkened. He also stuttered and stumbled over his words a bit more than usual and had seemed rather hesitant to take Riley's hand earlier. All of it made Riley feel giddy and confused at the same time. Sometimes he would smile and laugh too, quickly looking away out of embarrassment. It was almost an unbearable feeling of joy. Something about Butters' strange behavior was making Riley feel both very excited and incredibly nervous.

"Oh," Butters' dad said as the two boys entered the house, "Well if it isn't the birthday boy!"

"Happy Birthday, Riley," Butters' mother said in her soft voice.

"O-Oh! Uh, thanks." He blushed.

Butters smiled and tugged at Riley's sleeve. "Come on, Riley! Your present's in the kitchen."

He allowed Butters to lead him across the room and into the kitchen. There was a big round serving platter on the table that was filled with cupcakes. Each was decorated differently with different flavors and icings.

"I didn't think you'd like anything fancy or too exciting," Butters told him. "B-But I still wanted to do _something_ for you!"

"We didn't know what flavors you like," his mother said. "So, we got them all."

"Well," his dad said. "What do you think?"

"Uh, I –" Riley blushed even more. "Thank you." He smiled.

Butters dragged him over to a seat at the table.

Riley sat, incredibly embarrassed and happy, as they lit a candle on the top cupcake and started signing Happy Birthday to him. After the song, they watched him expectantly. "This is…so embarrassing." He laughed and blew out the candle.

Butters watched him as he picked a cupcake from the bunch and bit into it. "Do you like it?"

"Mm," Riley hummed and licked the icing from his lips. He used his thumb to scoop some of the icing off the top of the cupcake then reached over and wiped it on Butters' nose.

"Ah!"

Riley grinned broadly at him. "Yeah! Thanks, Butters."

Riley had decided to stay there for the night and go to school with Butters the next day. The rest of the evening, the two boys spent playing and laughing and trying to teach a hamster how to high-five, until a little after eight o'clock when Mr. Stotch told them to get to bed. Riley was incredibly pleased when Butters turned over to nuzzle against him as they lay in bed. He hummed contentedly and slowly slid his hand across the other boy's hip then wrapped his arm around his back. He laughed as he heard Butters giggle cutely into his shirt and nuzzle closer to Riley.

.

"Sorry, I can't today. I have to go home today."

"Oh…well, that's okay." Butters twiddled his thumbs. "Will – Will you be okay?"

Riley tilted his head a him. It would have been an odd question if it weren't for the fact that Butters had seemed to finally be figuring out the kind of person Riley's father was. After school, Butters had asked if he wanted to go over to his house again. This was a fairly common, almost every day, question to which Riley usually agreed readily. Unfortunately, with his father being so worked up lately, Riley knew that avoiding him _too _long would be much worse for him. Although, not avoiding him was likely to be just as bad right now, so he really didn't have much choice either way. Sometimes it seemed like Butters never wanted Riley to leave. If he had a choice, he wouldn't. He would stay with Butters forever if he could.

"I mean…" he didn't like lying to Butters, but he certainly didn't want to tell him the truth right now. He didn't want to tell him that the chances of him getting beaten were particularly high right now. "Sure. I'm always okay."

Butters didn't appear happy with that answer, but he didn't argue with him. Usually, he could easily persuade or argue Riley into coming with him, but the boy was being stubborn today. "Okay… Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Of course." Riley watched him leave for a few minutes before heading off his own way.

He sighed as he turned onto Locke and stared out at its old decaying buildings. He had been spending so much time away from this shithole that it was starting to become unfamiliar to him. If, for whatever odd reason, he wasn't with Butters, Riley would hang around with that girl Brooke at her place. So, other than school, the places he always thought of when daydreaming or imagining something were always one of those two.

He made his way down the sidewalk, avoiding anyone who was outside, and all the way to the one piece of this place that he could never forget. The moss-covered, yellowed old white house where his father lived. Riley no longer referred to it as his home. It was just his father's home. Riley always felt much more at home at Butters' or Brooke's places.

He unlocked the door and pushed it open. There was always a small part of him that expected the key not to work, as his father would sometimes change the lock just to be cruel. This time, Riley was cautious. He waited a moment, scanning what he could see of the interior before stepping inside and closing the door behind him. He quietly rounded the corner and peeked into the kitchen then moved into the hall and checked two other rooms before heading to his own.

Riley dropped his schoolbag off in the corner and flopped himself over on his bed. His father wasn't home…yet. He stared up at the beige ceiling finding himself wondering what Butters was going to do for the rest of the afternoon. He turned his head and looked over at medical supplies resting at the foot of his bed. They were getting blurry. Resting…sounded pretty nice right now. He yawned and closed his eyes, quickly falling into a dreamless sleep.

Riley jolted awake at the loud sound of something crashing in one of the other rooms. He quickly sat up and looked at his phone. Eleven fifty-two p.m.? He had only meant to take a short nap.

Another crash sounded and a gruff, angry voice shouted, "Where are you, boy!?"

Riley tensed and stared at the door. He felt his heart jump with fear and a wave of icy cold passed through his limbs. He only had two options: either respond and go see what his father wanted, or wait until he was found. Either one would likely result in the same thing. The second one sounded worse… He shot a brief glance at the only window in his room, wishing that the man had not been smart enough to board it up and prevent Riley from escaping.

"BOY!"

He flinched and hopped down from his bed. He stopped at the entryway between the hall and the living room, finding his father drunkenly throwing things aside and muttering angrily to himself. Riley watched for a minute, then finally found his voice. "Yes?" He held his breath as his father suddenly turned to look at him.

The man slowly straightened himself up. "Ah, there you are. So, you finally decided to show your face, huh?" He chuckled. "Well, it's about damn time!" He paused, his smile disappearing as quickly as it had appeared, then he gestured with his hand. "Come here, boy. Come here!"

Riley flinched but obeyed. He walked over, stopping only about two or three feet away and refusing to look up at him.

His father stared down at him with the expression of someone who had just disappointingly lost a bet or dropped something, then suddenly hit Riley hard in the head.

Riley gritted his teeth, trying not to make a sound.

"You think you're some smart little shit, huh? Yeah?" He leaned forward and grabbed a handful of the boy's hair, forcing him to raise his head and look at him. "Huh? You fucking COME when I call you!" He threw him down roughly. "You hear me!?"

Riley pushed himself up and winced. He had fallen on a broken glass bottle and a piece of it was now stabbing into his back. Still, he managed to say, "Yes sir."

"You weren't here for your birthday."

Riley couldn't help but look up at him.

He pointed at the boy. "Yeah. That's right, I remember your birthday! I've been keeping track of how many years I've had to deal with your shit! Where the hell were you, huh? Out with a little 'friend'? Huh?"

"Y-Yes."

"HA!" His father threw his hands up then placed them on his hips and started pacing around. "Did I – Did I fucking SAY that you could go somewhere? Did I?!"

He didn't dare stand up. "No."

"No! No, I didn't! Oh, but you – YOU!" He waggled his finger and bit his lip, inhaling deeply through his nostrils. "Oh, you are gonna get it now, boy." He chuckled then stopped suddenly. "You – You are gonna regret that."

He already did…

Before he could try to defend himself, his father was already upon him. He grabbed Riley tightly by the throat and lifted him from the ground. He watched the boy struggle for air for a good long minute before throwing him back down and landing a hard kick to his ribs. He was very unsatisfied with the fact that Riley was holding back his shouts of pain. The man walked off to pick something up then returned and watched the boy try to lift himself off the ground.

"Did I SAY that you could get up!?"

He smashed the full bottle of beer against Riley's head, making sure to hit the same spot he had hit earlier. Riley cried out as the bottle broke against his head, but quickly clenched his jaw shut. He didn't feel like giving him the satisfaction he wanted. He shut his eyes to prevent the alcohol and blood from getting in them, feeling the cuts sting from the foul liquid. He hated that smell. He felt his father's large hand grab his face and slam the back of his head into the wall. Before he knew it, he was on the ground again getting kicked and beaten with what felt like a piece of wood until it snapped from the impact and his father tossed it aside angrily.

He couldn't have kept track of how long that beating lasted even if he wanted to. He only gritted his teeth and tried to stay conscious until, finally, the man grew tired or bored, kicked him one last time, then muttered something about sleep and stormed away to his room. Riley laid there on the filthy carpet, curled up in pain and breathing heavily, waiting for his head to stop spinning. Normally, he would drag himself to his room to treat his wounds, but tonight he was so dizzy from the pain and blood loss that he ended up dragging himself out the front door.

He stopped and laid there by the door for a little while, fading in and out of consciousness, then forced himself to stand, using the doorframe to pull himself up. It was then that he realized that his right arm had to have been broken. He leaned back against the doorframe and looked down at his arm, trying to blink the blurriness away. He held the arm against his chest, caught his breath, then shakily stepped outside and started walking away from the house.

After somehow managing to get halfway down the street without losing consciousness, he collapsed on the sidewalk and just laid there. The cold sidewalk felt good. He could see something on the ground in front of him. He blinked a few times, finally managing to see clearer now. His phone had fallen out of his pocket with him and landed beside him. Riley reached out and pulled it closer. The cracked screen lit up upon his touch and he tapped it a few times until he heard it dialing.

.

Butters gasped as his phone startled him awake. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at the time; it was well after midnight. He looked over at the phone, surprised to see Riley's name, then quickly snatched it up and answered.

"H-Hello? Riley?"

"Butters…"

"Riley!" He was fully awake now. Riley sounded upset or maybe out of breath. "Are you okay?"

There was a long pause before he responded. "No…I need help."

Butters felt a rush of panic. "Wh-Where are you?"

"…the end of Locke."

He jumped out of his bed. "H-Hang on, Riley! I'm gonna go get my dad and we're going to come get you!"

.

Riley let out a breath then dragged himself back to his feet. He was still dizzy, but now he could properly see and his consciousness was no longer fading in and out. He walked slowly along the sidewalk and all the way to the corner where he found a stop sign and sat down to lean against it and wait.

.

"Honestly Butters," Mr. Stotch said as he drove. "What in the world is so important that we have to pick your friend up in the middle of the night?"

Butters was sitting on his knees in the backseat and staring out the window, frantically searching for Riley. "I don't know. I-I think he's hurt! There he is!"

The car pulled over and Butters quickly jumped out. He was still in his pajama onesie. His dad also exited the vehicle and they hurried over to Riley.

"What in the world happened?!" Mr. Stotch asked.

"Riley!" Butters dropped to his knees beside the other boy.

"I…I got in a fight," he told them.

"You need us to take you home?" Mr. Stotch asked, looking around. "Where do you live?"

"No!" Riley winced. "My…my dad's not home," he lied.

"What? Well, just come with us for now." He carefully helped Riley up and led him over to the car.

Butters joined Riley in the backseat and clung to his sleeve.

Once they had arrived, Riley denied needing any assistance and carried himself painfully to the bathroom. Butters followed him and watched worriedly as Riley started rummaging through the first aid supplies. Now that they were in the light, he could see that Riley was very bruised and had many bleeding cuts. His shirt was soaked with blood and something else and had tears in it.

"Do – Do you need help?"

Riley was trying to remove his shirt. He paused and kept silent for a moment before slowly looking over at him. "…yes."

Butters went over to him and very carefully helped him to remove his shirt. He gasped upon seeing the bruises and cuts that were hidden below his shirt. "Riley…did – did you really get in a fight this late?" He watched Riley trying to clean his cuts with his nondominant hand then took the supplies from him and started doing it for him. "Was it…y-your dad?"

Riley sat there staring down at the cut Butters was treating. He suddenly felt overwhelmed and just started crying. Butters stopped and looked up at him. Before he could ask anything else, Riley suddenly leaned forward and hugged him.

"I'm so sorry, Butters…"

"Wha- For what?"

"Butters…"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you…for everything."

"Uh, well, y-you're welcome."

After Riley had calmed down, Butters continued helping him to treat his wounds then walked him over to his room. He watched Riley slowly climb into the bed and lay down facing the wall then climbed in with him. He laid there, unable to sleep now due to worry, and after a few minutes he heard Riley crying softly again.

He sat up and looked over at him. Not sure of what to say, he just laid back down and wrapped his arms around Riley's waist, pulling himself closer and pressing his head against Riley's back. Riley huffed and relaxed a little and allowed himself to fall asleep.

.

The next day, Butters' parents allowed the two boys to stay home from school. Riley did not leave the bed the whole day and refused to eat anything. The only thing he accepted was the fruit juice box that Butters had brought him around lunch. Other than leaving the room to get food or use the bathroom, Butters did not leave Riley's side. At first, he tried to get him to eat or get up, but he realized that Riley was probably in a lot of pain, so he stopped and just laid there with him.

By the end of the day, Riley had finally gotten up out of the bed and started walking down the stairs towards the front door.

"W-Where are you going?" Butters followed him outside.

Riley stopped and looked at him. "I'm…going back."

"What?! Why?!"

"I have to…"

"No, you don't! He hurt you really bad! You – You can just stay here and…o-or the police can –"

"No," he said firmly. "No police. Don't tell your parents, or anyone, Butters!"

"I-I…I won't…but why are you going back?"

"If I don't…he'll think I ran away, and he'll come get me and it'll be worse." He smiled at Butters. "Don't worry. I'll…be fine."

"You can't let him hurt you anymore, Riley!"

He stared at him then turned away. "Okay… I won't. I promise. Butters…"

Butters tilted his head a little. Riley turned and walked back over to him, stopping very close. His breath caught in his chest as Riley lightly touched his cheek, smiled, then placed a soft kiss on his other cheek.

"Goodnight," Riley whispered softly then turned and walked away.

He stood there, amazed, watching him leave. "G-Goodnight…" he said quietly as his face heated up.

**To be continued…**


	25. Chapter 25: Riley's First and Last Stand

**More sensitive topic warning. Violence, child abuse, and blood/gore.**

* * *

Riley took his time that night. He walked slowly through the cold darkness, feeling the frosty air through the new cuts in his long-sleeve. Tonight was particularly chilly, and snow had begun to fall lightly once again. He sighed, watching his breath fog the air, then shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground as he walked. Why was he going back? Why? The same as always. The same reason he always went back the day after his father would beat him. Fear.

He thought it stupid how he was so afraid of that man that he would actually _go back_ to him. _Why? _Had he really let himself be conditioned that way? He had promised Butters that he wouldn't let his father hurt him anymore… How was he going to keep a promise like that? If he ran away, he'd be found, and the consequences would be painful. If he tried to go to someone for help or the police, they might not believe him. His father could probably find a way to weasel out of it like he always did when he was at risk of something. If he fought back…_could _he fight back?

He halted suddenly, his shoes scraping the cement, and looked up. He was already standing at the corner of Locke Boulevard. Riley had never tried to fight back against his father before. He shook his head. _What a stupid idea._ He started walking again.

He walked all the way down the street. All the way to the overgrown lawn where the yellowed house sat waiting. Its damaged front door and boarded windows were less than welcoming, and the roof was sunken in from weather damage. Even the house itself looked tired and ready to give up. He stared emotionlessly up at the little house. This would be the last time he returned to this place, and he felt nothing.

Riley opened the door, stepped inside and closed it behind him, then stood there quietly and watched. Listened… He heard nothing, and nothing moved, so he silently walked across the living room, into the hall, and into his room and closed the door. Taking a moment to study the room, he found his yellow schoolbag and pulled it up onto the bed. He started collecting his things into the bag; he didn't own much. A few pairs of old clothes, his tooth and hair brushes, some medical supplies and bandages, a lighter, and his shoes were already on his feet. Now, the next question was where he would go…

As he zipped up the last zipper on the bag, he heard someone moving down the hall. He froze, tensing as the door was thrown open. "What the hell are you doing?" his father asked.

Riley's first instinct was to apologize, but he held his tongue and slowly turned to face him. He stared at the ground, like always.

"I asked you a question," the man growled dangerously.

Riley forced himself to look up at the man, sending him a defiant, hate-filled glare. He clenched his fists tightly at his sides, bracing himself. "I…I'm leaving."

"HA!" He leaned against the doorframe and pointed at him, the rest of his fingers clinging to a bottle. "You're LEAVING?" He chuckled. "And where the hell are you gonna go, huh? The fucking orphanage?"

"Anywhere, even living under a bridge, is better than living with you," Riley said firmly, though his voice was shaking.

"Didn't you learn your lesson the first damn time you tried running away?" He pushed himself off the doorframe. "When I DRAGGED your ass back here and beat the shit out of you!?" He threw the bottle at the boy.

Riley lost his balance from the impact and fell onto his side, managing to catch himself with his right hand. His broken arm seared with pain and he hissed through his teeth. He used his other hand to wipe the alcohol from his eyes then opened them in time to see the man reaching for him. He panicked; he didn't want to deal with it anymore. Ten long years… He couldn't even recall when it started if he tried. It just was. But no more. He was tired of it.

With tears of panic and fury in his eyes, Riley reached out and grabbed something just as his father grabbed hold of his shirt and lifted him from the floor. He tightened his grip on the object, recognizing it as a large piece of the broken bottle as it sliced into his hand. Without hesitation, without thinking, he swung and thrust the broken glass into the man's neck.

With a horrid choking sound, he dropped Riley and grabbed at his own throat. Instinctually, he ripped the glass out, spraying the wall and carpet with blood from his jugular. He stared, eyes bulging, at nothing, stumbling backwards as a gurgling, choking sound emitted from his throat. Blood was just spraying from his neck and pouring from his mouth like water. Finally, he lost his balance and fell back against the wall, slumping down to the floor, and falling over in a pool of his own blood.

Riley had fallen to the floor against the side of his bed, where he had pushed himself so hard up against it that he managed to move it a little trying to get away from the scene. He stared, horrified, as blood sprayed and splattered the wall and soaked into the carpet. After his father had fallen and stopped moving, Riley felt a rush of panic so strong that he choked on his own breath and almost vomited. He hurriedly scrambled up and over the bed, landing on the floor on the other side, and huddled himself up tightly in the corner his bed made with the wall. He sat there like this, with his hands on his head tightly clutching his hair, and his face hiding between his knees, shaking violently as tears fell from his face.

After several minutes, his shaking finally settled down and he slowly lifted his head to wipe his face. He whimpered with pain, forgetting about his injured arm once again, then loosened himself and leaned back against the wall to steady his breathing. With a deep, shaky breath, he slowly got himself to his feet and grabbed his bag, slinging it over the shoulder of his uninjured arm. He stared fearfully at the body as he walked around the bed and towards the door, expecting him to jump up at any moment and attack him. He didn't bother checking if he was really dead; he was too afraid.

.

Brooke grunted and turned over the other way as someone nudged her. She heard someone say her name, but she tried to ignore it. She could feel them shaking her arm now. With an irritated groan, she opened her eyes. She could see the night sky and stars through her window. She looked over her shoulder and leered at Lucy. "What?" her voice cracked.

Lucy looked nervous. "Brooke," she said quietly but urgently. "You NEED to come downstairs, right now! To the shed!"

"Huh?" She rubbed her eyes and turned over to her back. "Why? What time is it?"

Lucy glanced over her shoulder. "It's two thirty-seven a.m." She looked back at her. "Riley's here."

"Riley?"

"Please," she said urgently. "You MUST come with me!"

Without waiting for a response, she turned and quickly but quietly left the room. Brooke threw her sheets aside and followed. Why was Riley here at almost three in the morning? She found Lucy waiting at the bottom of the stairs and nervously shifting her feet. Upon seeing that Brooke was indeed following, Lucy went into the kitchen to exit through the backdoor. Brooke followed, letting Sniper outside before closing the door and continuing towards the shed. Lucy waited for her by the shed door.

"He showed up only a few minutes ago," Lucy told her. "He's very hurt and seems to be in a sort of…shock."

"What?"

"I…I can treat his injuries, but I thought that maybe…you could comfort him?" She opened the door to allow Brooke inside first.

Riley was sitting with his feet up and knees pulled close on one of the black couches inside. He was shaking slightly, either from fear or the cold, and looked very beaten and tired. His shirt was torn and stained and he was holding his right arm close to his chest. His left hand was cut and bleeding, and his face was cut and bruised. His sandy-colored hair was dark and wet, as was the top half of his shirt, and he smelled like beer. He was staring absently at the floor.

"Riley," Brooke hurried over to his side. "What happened?!"

He blinked and slowly looked over at her. "I…I didn't…" His words faded and he looked down again.

She sat beside him and carefully moved his wet hair out of his eyes then lightly stroked his cheek. "Okay Riley. You don't have to say anything right now. Just try to calm down. Lucy and I are going to take care of you."

She could feel him shaking, but he noticeably leaned into her touch and let out a long breath of relief. Lucy had gone off somewhere and returned with a large bowl of warm water and a small towel which she placed on the coffee table beside Brooke then turned and went to gather some things to treat the boy's wounds. Brooke got up and grabbed his ankles, gently pulling his legs down, then, as carefully as she could, she removed his shirt, feeling bad as he whimpered with pain. She took in a sharp breath at the sight of all the bruises and cuts on his body. A lot of them had been cleaned and bandaged already, but some were bleeding again or new. She glanced over and noticed Lucy shaking as she collected some things. Why was Lucy so shaken?

Brooke reached into the bowl and wrung out the towel. She sat back down beside Riley and started to carefully wipe his face with it. He winced a little but soon turned his head towards her to allow her to better see. After cleaning up his face, she moved to his shoulders and body, making sure to be extra careful with his right arm as it appeared to be hurting him the most. He closed his eyes and lowered his head when she began running some of the water through his hair.

Lucy brought over a larger, dry towel and placed it on his lap to catch the excess water, then used a smaller one to dry his body before setting to work on cleaning the cuts.

Meanwhile, Brooke had finished washing his hair and took the large towel to dry his head. After, she took his left hand and turned it over to examine the fresh cuts. They weren't too deep, but they were still bleeding actively. She cleaned and started wrapping his hand with fresh bandages, then bent his elbow and placed his hand against his chest. "Keep your hand up for a little bit."

Lucy was examining his right arm critically. It was mostly definitely broken. "I'm…going to have to set this."

Knowing that that meant a great deal of pain for Riley, Brooke grabbed one of the smaller towels and held it up to him. "Bite this." He obeyed without question. She gently pulled him closer, holding his head to her shoulder and wrapping her other arm around his waist, and watched as Lucy prepared a tourniquet.

Knowing exactly what was happening, Riley shut his eyes tightly and leaned into Brooke as Lucy took his arm. He bit down on the folded towel so hard that his jaw hurt, his scream muffled by both the towel and the girl's shoulder.

Brooke shut her eyes at the sounds. Screaming and the sounds of broken bones…it was too familiar. Luckily for poor Riley, Lucy, although young, was incredibly gifted in the medical field, so the event was over almost as quickly as it had started. She could feel him breathing heavily against her as he tried to calm down now that Lucy was only wrapping it. She ran her fingers through his damp hair and kissed his head.

"There." Lucy had wrapped his arm and shoulder up in a sling of sorts. She got up and pulled a blanket from the other sofa and carefully placed it around him.

Brooke took the towel from his mouth and tossed it aside. She leaned back on the couch and allowed him to stay leaning against her as he finally lost consciousness and fell into a deep sleep. She lightly stroked his back as he slept.

Lucy sat on the other side of the sofa and watched sadly. "I…used my Oracle abilities…to see what had happened when he showed up. He – He couldn't explain so I…" she looked away.

"What is it, Lucy?"

"His own father… His father hurt him, severely. On purpose…and…"

Brooke glanced down at the sleeping boy resting on her shoulder. "Riley…" she said quietly.

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Poor Riley finally got some much needed TLC. Brooke is a LOT more tender and caring than she makes herself out to be.**


	26. Chapter 26: Jake

**Ah, here we get to meet a new character. His name is Jake. Not to be confused with the Jake from the Stick of Truth plot. That was a different Jake.**

* * *

The next morning was Saturday, so, luckily, Brooke did not have to wake Riley in order for her to get ready for school. Another lucky thing, was that she had a habit of sleeping in, so she wasn't to be bothered by waking up to go eat or pee only to find that Riley was still laying against her. When she did wake up, it was sometime around eleven, and Riley was also just waking up as well.

Riley groaned as he sat up. His whole body ached and his right arm was the worst for it. He went to rub his eye with his other hand and was a little surprised to find it perfectly wrapped in clean white bandages. He looked down at his right arm and the sling then looked over his body. That's right… He had panicked last night, not sure where to go, and found himself knocking on Lucy's door. He now remembered the two girls tenderly caring for him through the night.

Brooke stretched her back and shoulders, letting out a groggy moan. She stared sleepily at him for a few moments, blinking sleep from her eyes, before finally deciding to speak. "How do you feel?"

"Sore," he replied quietly. He blushed a little as he remembered her holding him. It was nice to be held and touched by someone who cared for you… He had never been treated that way by anyone, and the only family member he ever knew was his father. Yet, he imagined it as the same treatment one would get from a caring mother or a kind sibling. "Thank you…" he said.

"Hm?" she was fixing her long hair. "Yeah. But you don't have to."

The door opened and Lucy stepped inside. "Oh," she looked pleasantly surprised. "You're awake, both of you. Good. Our… 'mother' just finished making breakfast. Apparently, I'm the only one who woke up early today." She walked around to examine Riley then handed him a neatly folded shirt. "I cleaned and mended your shirt. It's good as new now. I'll help you with it."

"O-Oh! Thanks." He watched her remove the sling then allowed her to assist him with getting his arm through the shirt. She then carefully folded up the sleeve and replaced the sling.

She noticed him making quiet sounds of pain. "I'll give you something for pain," she said after. "Then, you should both go eat."

Riley looked down. "Are you two…going to tell someone?"

"Who is there to tell?" Lucy asked as she handed him a pill and a glass of water. "He's already… Well, perhaps it would be best if…it wasn't known."

He looked up at her.

"Accidental murder is still murder," she said. "So, for your sake, I think it would be best not to mention it to anyone. Still…" She looked troubled.

"What?" he asked hesitantly.

"Oh! I was just fretting over your mental health. Last night, combined with what you've been through… I think that it would be good for you to stay with us. That way, you'd not only have a safe place to stay, but you'd have Brooke and myself here for you."

He didn't bother asking how she suddenly seemed to know what had happened. He didn't really care since it was these two. Really, he was more concerned with the fact that they had just invited him to live with them. "Y-You're…serious?"

"Of course. This is a very serious matter."

Brooke smiled at him. "You can stay as long as you want, Riley. We have a few extra rooms in the house. They all have beds."

He looked over at her. "What about your…parents?"

"Don't worry about them," she told him. "I feel bad for always having to mess with their heads, but their personalities are natural. They're nice. Also, in the end, I'M the one who has say-so over everything in this house. Eh, the parents are kind of…just for appearances. It'd look suspicious without them. At least, that's the Council's reasoning behind them." She glanced away and muttered, "Sometimes they actually 'parent' me, though…"

"You do need some discipline," Lucy remarked to her.

"Anyways," Brooke shot her a small glare. "They're just gonna think you're sleeping over a lot. I mean, Kenny does that all the time too, so it won't seem very strange to them."

"Kenneth might as well live here, too," Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Your sassiness is golden, Lucy," Brooke smirked. She turned back to Riley once again. "If you're not over here, then I assume you'll be sleeping at Butters'?"

He stared at her then nodded.

"Okay. That works. Now, let's go in the house and eat breakfast before Lucy's sass kills me. After, you can pick one of the extra bedrooms for yourself."

"Uh, yeah!"

.

At some point after noon, Brooke was getting ready to take Sniper out for a walk when she thought of something. She stopped at the front door and looked over at the boy sitting on the couch. "Hey Riley," she said. "If you're not in too much pain, why don't you come with us on our walk?"

He looked over at her curiously.

Sniper wagged his tail happily at the idea. "We can stop by that thrift shop and clothing store to get some stuff for you," Brooke explained.

"You…don't have to." She only blinked at him. He got up and walked over to them. "O-Okay. Thanks."

"All right, Sniper," Brooke stretched in the sunlight. "Anyone else we should pick up along the way?"

She had meant it as a joke, but the dog eagerly darted across the lawn to the next house over and started jumping up and scratching at the door. The door opened and Mr. Stotch began fussing at the dog. "Aw, what in the world? Shoo! Stop scratching my door!" Sniper began barking and hopping from side-to-side, lowering himself playfully each time he landed. "Agh, shoo!"

Butters came to see what the commotion was. "Oh, Sniper!"

"Butters!" His dad snapped. "You know this dog?"

He flinched. "Uh, w-well, he's Brooke's dog, see? Um."

His dad looked around until he spotted Brooke, then pointed at her. "If you don't control your dog…you're grounded!"

She flinched, more out of surprise than anything. "Wha-? Psshh, whatever. Sniper! Heel!" The dog immediately ceased his behavior and ran back over to the girl to sit by her side and stare up at her adoringly. "Good dog."

Mr. Stotch blinked. "Uh, well…good! Uh, carry on." He went back inside while Butters walked over to them.

"Riley, are – are you okay?" He was looking over him worriedly.

"I am now," he told him. "Don't worry."

"Well," Brooke said. "We were just heading out for a walk and to do a little shopping. You wanna come with?"

"Can I?"

She laughed a little. "Of course, dummy. Let's go."

The two boys followed Brooke along the sidewalk while her dog trotted alongside them. Every now and again he would wander off to sniff at something then quickly catch back up with them. Brooke didn't bother slowing or stopping when he did this, since he would always hurry back to her after a few moments.

Riley noticed Butters walking closely beside him. Every now and then, Butters would glance down at Riley's hand, but he seemed too afraid to grab it after noticing that it was wrapped in bandages. After a while, Butters worked up the nerve to ask quietly, "Did he hurt you again?"

Riley was just a tad surprised by the question. He looked down at his left hand. "He tried…"

"What happened?"

"He – He's gone now."

"What? Where did he go?"

"I don't know…" He really didn't, but he had a vague idea… Or maybe it was a hope.

"Well, w-what are you gonna do now?" He started twiddling his thumbs, a nervous habit of his.

"He's staying at my house," Brooke said from the front of the group. They hadn't realized that she could hear them. "That's why we're going to the store. He needs more clothes." She glanced back at them over her shoulder and smiled.

"Oh…" Butters suddenly looked excited. "Oh, boy! Now we're neighbors, Riley!"

"Uh," he chuckled, "yeah."

They turned the corner down the main shopping street and entered one of the stores. The guy at the counter seemed like he was going to say something about the dog, but after Sniper sent him over a fierce glare, he thought better of it and kept quiet. Brooke checked the tags on Riley's shirt and pants to find his size then she and Butters started looking through clothes while Riley sat in a chair near the dressing room with Sniper at his feet.

Since it would be too much trouble and discomfort to have him try anything on, she ended up making Butters try the clothes on to test their comfort. At some point, she started messing around and dressing Butters with sunglasses and cute hats, along with oversized boas and shoes. She wasn't the only one entertained though, as Butters was clearly enjoying the game as well, and Riley would smile or laugh every time Butters stepped out of the dressing room to show him. They even found a spiked leather jacket that Brooke fitted on Sniper while Butters tied a black du-rag on the dog's head.

They stepped back to examine their work. "Hm," Brooke hummed. "I like it, but I think it needs slits for his ears."

"Yeah," Butters agreed. "It'd be cuter if his ears were poking out."

Riley laughed at them.

"Okay!" Brooke smiled and gathered the things they had decided to keep. "Let's go check out and let Sniper strut."

"Ooh!" Butters grabbed something and brought it over. "What about this? It can go on his collar."

Brooke looked down at what he was holding. It was a stainless-steel skull and crossbones with a keyring attached to the top. She blinked. "I love it."

After leaving the store, Brooke pulled out a small pocket knife and cut two slits in the du-rag then placed it back on Sniper's head and pulled his ears through the slits. She reached in the bag and took out the keychain then attached it to his collar. She smirked as she stood up straight and joined the boys to look over the dog.

"Nice," Riley smiled.

"Where are we going next?" Butters asked.

"I think I have enough clothes now," Riley looked at the bag.

"Then," Brooke thought for a moment. "Let's go to that Dairy Queen on the west edge of town. The food sucks, but I like the cookie dough blizzard."

"I don't think it's that bad," Butters said.

Once they arrived, they chose a table outside to sit at while Brooke went inside to order. Riley had already sat down and Butters sat in the chair next to him. Sniper laid himself down in the shade beneath the iron table. Butters was curiously watching an unfamiliar boy across the street who had short, curly brown hair and wore a black shirt and pants and an oversized, black, leather coat. The boy was leaning back against the side of a building and smoking a cigarette as he watched them, too. After a few minutes, he tossed the used-up cigarette aside and crossed the street to come over.

"Well," he smiled at them. "If it isn't Riley Stewart."

Sniper lifted his head a little to sniff at him, then rested his head back on his paws to nap. Riley looked surprised. "Jake? What are you doing here?"

"Do you mean, 'what am I doing in this area?' or 'what am I doing HERE, talkin' to you?' Well, I got answers for both. First of all, I was just in the area to restock my supplies, ya know? Second, I thought that was you I saw, so I came to see. And I was right! I haven't seen you in a while, so I was startin' to think that your old man finally killed you or something."

He winced a tiny bit. "N-No…but he tried."

"Mm. I usually see you at least once or twice a week comin' to buy cigarettes. But it's been a while."

"Yeah, I, uh…quit."

"Really? Wish I could do that…"

"But you can," Butters told him.

Jake looked over at him now. "Oh? And who's this?" He smiled. "Your new plaything?"

"No," Riley said rather sheepishly. "He's my friend."

"My name's Butters!" He smiled at Jake.

Jake looked stunned and stared at Butters for a long moment. "Friend?" His expression softened and he smiled again. "Heya pal. Name's Jacob. I just go by Jake, though."

"Hi! Do you wanna sit with us? Our other friend is inside getting our food, but I don't think she'd mind."

"Not one, but two, huh?" Jake glanced back over at the other side of the street. "Mm. Yeah, I guess I can hang out for a few minutes." He sat down beside Butters and across from Riley, propping his feet up on the edge of the table and crossing his legs while leaning the chair back a little. He placed his hands in his pockets then pulled out a new cigarette and lit it. "So, what's the haps, hm?"

Riley eyed the cigarette, feeling tempted, then got up from his chair. "I'm going to the bathroom." He walked inside.

"So, how do you know Riley?" Butters asked. He was already assuming that this boy was from that darker side of Riley's life that he never wanted to talk about. But Jake himself didn't seem so bad. He seemed pretty friendly, and he had a strange way of talking, a slight accent that Butters liked.

Jake turned his head to blow the smoke away from Butters. "Hm, well I met him a few years ago. He was lookin' to get some cigarettes, but they don't sell those to minors, ya know. Meanwhile, I myself am an expert in obtaining 'hard to come by' products, and I sell 'em, too. Eh, so anyways, one of my other clients introduced him to me."

"Oh. So, you're how Riley always had cigarettes?"

He nodded as he took another drag. He thought for a moment as he blew the smoke out of his mouth. "I was also the first person Riley ever had sex with."

"Oh!" Butters blushed and looked down. "W-Were you – Were you his boyfriend?"

"Huh?" He tilted his head to look over at him and smirked. "Boyfriend? Riley never had boyfriends, or girlfriends…or ANY friends. …Why? Are you jealous?" He laughed at Butters' reaction to this. "Has Riley really not done anything like that with you?"

"No." He started twiddling his thumbs. "He said that he doesn't want to do something like that to me… Oh, uh, except maybe when we're older?"

"Hm." Jake eyed him, but his expression was soft again. "Well, sorry I brought it up, I guess. If it makes you feel any better, we only ever did it once."

"Why? I-I mean, why did you guys…uh…"

"That's a loaded question, pal." He turned away and stared out across the street. "Though…I wish I _didn't _do that to him." He looked back at Butters to explain. "Sometimes, I feel like maybe it's my fault he got into that stuff, ya know? Riley was always secretly a nice, good person. Not like the other kids, clients, I've met. They all put themselves in the shit they're in, but Riley…he just kind of…fell."

"Do…you like him?" Butters asked timidly.

"Like him?" He smirked and huffed a little. "You really ARE jealous. Nah, not like that I mean." Despite saying this, his face was tinged with pink. "Actually, even though he refused to let anyone close to him and said he didn't have any, I always kinda thought of him as my friend. Ya know? He used to come around to my place a lot in the middle of the night for medical supplies after his dad would beat the shit out of him. Sometimes he showed up lookin' real bad, and one time, he even passed out on the floor. Those nights, I'd let him stay at my place. I mean, it's a shithole, but it's better than getting hit all the time. Pretty soon, I just kinda stopped bothering to charge him for the medical stuff."

"Oh… W-Well, you sound like you're secretly a nice, good person, too. Why don't you leave? That's what Riley did. Er, well, he said his dad left, but now Riley's staying at our friend's."

"Don't have anywhere to go." He shrugged. "Besides, I always knew Riley had a way out. Me, well I put myself here, so…"

"What do you mean?"

"I ain't got a family. My parents dumped me in the alleyway, at night, in the rain. I think I was like, um, five? Six?" He shrugged. "Could've gone to an orphanage, but I'd heard bad stuff about those places, and I figured, hey, if my parents didn't want me, then no one will, right? So, I ended up with this group of older kids, bunch of thieves that sold the stuff they stole, and they let me stay with them in exchange for work. Well, I'm not with them anymore, but old habits die hard, and it's not like I have anything else to do, so… I mean, hell, I gotta get money for food, ya know? The place I stay in doesn't even have electricity. It's just some abandoned old apartment building or whatever."

"But…that still doesn't sound like you don't have a way out."

"Trust me," he told him. "I don't. You know, you seem really good for Riley. I'm glad you guys are friends." He took a last puff of his cigarette then tossed it away. "So," he leaned over towards Butters and smiled. "Now that we're well acquainted, you wanna buy somethin'?" He opened one side of his large coat to show the many filled pockets inside.

"Wow! That's a LOT of stuff! It's like you're wearing Walmart!"

"More like a convenience store," Jake said.

"Isn't that heavy?"

"Eh, I'm used to it."

"All right," Riley walked over to them. "What the hell are you doing, Jake?"

Jake quickly leaned away from Butters and closed his coat, smiling broadly up at Riley. "Just tryin' to make a livin' here, Riles! Guy's gotta eat!"

Brooke also exited the building and placed a tray of food and drinks on the table. "Well, Jake, Riley told me you were here, so we got you something to eat, too."

"Really?" He was shocked. "Hey, that's nice! Thanks, beautiful! What's your name?"

"Brooke." She handed him a wrapped burger and a drink then sat down. "Riley also mentioned that you're a thief." She eyed him.

He happily accepted the food and drink. "Aw, only from stores. Not individuals. Come on, Riles! You gotta give more details. You're makin' me look bad!"

"You're making yourself look bad." Riley was trying not to smirk.

After their meal, Jake said his farewells to them, stopping in front of Butters to give him something. "Here. Something I didn't steal. I found it earlier on the way here. Kinda dumb, but I felt bad just leaving it there to rot. Anyways, you'll probably take better care of it than me. I was just gonna sell it, but I don't think any of my clientele would be interested in it."

It was a small, pale pink, plush bunny with floppy ears and curly faux fur. It even had a matching ribbon tied into a bow around its neck. It appeared very clean and in good condition.

"Oh, thanks, Jake!" Butters smiled and took the toy. "I'll take good care of her."

"Her?" he grinned. "Okay. I'm counting on you for that. See ya later." He nodded to them all and made his way back across the street.

On their way back home, Riley was watching Butters play with the stuffed bunny. At some point, Butters noticed him watching and got a little embarrassed. He slowed his pace to match Riley's. "Hey Riley, Jake said -"

"I know." He smiled at him. "I heard."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**We will see more of Jake later.**


	27. Chapter 27: Bothersome Banshee

**Just a random one here that very slightly hints at something about Kenny that even he doesn't know.**

* * *

Kenny wasn't surprised to wake up and find Brooke playing with Karen in the next room. He was, however, very surprised to see that Lucy was also here. He had passed by Karen's room on the way to the kitchen; the door was open, and he stopped and walked back upon realizing that Lucy was there. He leaned back to look in the room.

Brooke and Karen were sitting at Karen's little plastic table and playing with dolls. Lucy, on the other hand, was standing up, examining the room, and looking highly uncomfortable. "Oh," she noticed him in the doorway. "Hello, Kenneth."

"Uh, hi. What are YOU doing here?"

"I just came to speak with Karen," she explained. She glanced around the room again. "Eh, so…this is…where you live."

"No," Karen smiled and pointed towards the hall. "Kenny lives in THAT room. This is MY room. And the rats live in the walls!"

Lucy made a surprised, disgusted face but quickly hid it away. "Ah, I…see. How very…unsanitary." She was standing more towards the center of the room, clearly trying to avoid touching anything.

"What…were you talking to Karen about?" He asked suspiciously.

"She was asking about my Guardian Angel," Karen smiled. "I drew her a picture of him!"

He blinked at her then looked back at Lucy. "Oh…uh, what – what did you guys think?"

"I think Karen has a great future in the art industry," Brooke said.

"Thank you!" the younger girl beamed at the compliment.

"Yes," Lucy said. "As for the character – angel – itself…" She glanced back at Karen. "Well, I've yet to develop a proper opinion or, um, thought on it. Though, I do like the colors."

"Oh," he said. "Cool. Uh," he looked at Brooke. "What about you?"

"Hm?" She looked over at him. "Reminds me of a classic reaper… Or the Riddler."

"Riddler?" he winced. "What?"

She laughed at the squeak in his voice, and he quickly cleared his throat.

"Yes, well," Lucy straightened her coat. "As…_lovely _as this visit was, I really MUST be going now. At least there aren't any cockroaches…" she muttered the last bit under her breath as she walked past Kenny to leave.

Brooke stretched and sighed. "I should get going, too."

"Aw," Karen said, "but you've only been here an hour. You always stay longer! Sometimes you even sleep here!"

Brooke bent forward and patted Karen's head. "But today, I have important things to do. Don't worry, I'll come back tomorrow if you want."

"Yes, please!"

She laughed. "Okay. We can play all day tomorrow. Bye-bye!"

"Bye!"

Brooke left the room, pressing and dragging her fingers along Kenny's back, just above his waist, as she passed behind him. "Bye, Kenny."

He shivered from the touch and blushed at her tone. "Uh, b-bye!" _That was new_, he thought.

Brooke found Lucy waiting for her outside. Although Lucy was still obviously displeased with being in a junkyard full of broken glass, she was noticeably more relaxed now that she was outside of the house. "I feel terrible about it," Lucy told her, "but I hated every second in there!" She looked highly upset with herself. "Princess! How can you feel so comfortable there!?"

She shrugged. "Lucy, some of the monsters we look after are mangy, disease-ridden, and or just downright disgusting."

"Yes, but unlike you, I prefer to…keep my distance."

Brooke chuckled.

**…**

Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Darren had met up at the park after lunch to play a game of basketball. Cartman joined them at one point, though he received a very threatening look from Darren first before they accepted him into the game. There were very few people at the park this Saturday, despite the nice weather, so the boys had the run of most of it. It wasn't until Kenny went to shoot the ball that something happened.

A banshee had suddenly appeared, perching itself atop the goal. In the split moment that it had appeared, it snatched the ball in its jaws then tossed it up and caught it with the end of its long tail, balancing it at the tip. It stared down at them with pink orbs for eyes.

"Well, what do we have here?" Her voice was familiar. It was the female banshee they had met in Brooke's castle. "If it isn't the little mutt!"

"Rat boy, mutt, make up your mind," Kenny said. "Actually, fuck off!"

"Who the hell is that?" Cartman pointed.

"A banshee called Cassidy," Stan explained. "We met her at Brooke's castle. She seems to have a serious beef with Kenny for some reason."

"Wait, wait, wait…you guys went to the castle…without me?"

"We were trying to make Brooke feel better after YOU pissed her off!" Darren snapped at him.

"…fair enough."

"Give us the ball back, Cassidy," Kyle said.

She tossed the ball up a few times, catching it with the very end of her long, thin tail every time. After a few tosses, she eyed them with a grin and suddenly chucked the ball hard at them. Kyle gasped and dodged out of the way, but the ball didn't seem meant for him anyway. It hit Kenny hard in the chest and knocked him down. He sat there for a while, stunned and winded, before Darren and Stan were able to help him to his feet.

"Dude, what the hell!?" Stan said. "What's your problem with Kenny!?"

"HAha!" She leaned forward and snarled at them, "That little rat doesn't deserve the attention he gets from the Princess! She has better people to bother with than some filthy little, dirt-poor, fool!"

"I hope she doesn't think _she's _better people," Cartman muttered to Darren. "Because she's a bitch."

"Seriously," Darren agreed.

"Doesn't Brooke like rats, though?" Kyle mentioned.

Stan pointed up at the banshee. "Quit being a jerk and get outta here before we tell Brooke or Lucy!"

She snorted. "What, too afraid to get rid of me yourselves? Ha! Even the REST of you are pathetic! You don't even know the Princess's real name!"

"Her real name?" The boys exchanged looks and shrugs.

Kenny was glaring up at her. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Soul collecting," she replied simply. "Lucky for you, I'm not allowed to fetch YOUR soul when you die. I'd tear it apart if I was," she added with a frightening hiss that caused Cartman to back away.

"Yeah, well we're not afraid of you," Stan said. "We already know that Brooke wouldn't like it if you did anything to us."

She grinned and he took a small step backwards and gulped. "I can get away with a lot more than you think."

Before they could question her further, she launched herself from the goal and pinned Kenny beneath her claws, ripping through his parka and into his chest with a vicious snarl. The others ran out of the way then stopped to stare, horrified, as the monster brought her large fangs down upon his throat and ripped the trachea out. After, she jumped away from him and turned to smugly watch him suffer and die.

"Oh my fucking GOD!" Stan shouted. "She just killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!" Kyle screamed.

"Oh, hell naw!" Cartman took off as fast as he could. "That crazy bitch just ripped his throat out!"

Cassidy sat down and casually began to lick the blood from her arms and claws in a similar fashion to that of a cat.

"We're totally gonna tell Brooke what you just did!" Darren told her, preparing himself to run.

She huffed. "The Princess and her Advisor are currently in a meeting of the Council. By the time they return, that mutt will be back and you'll all have forgotten about it."

"Like hell!" He and the other boys ran away.

Pleased, Cassidy watched them run. It was enticing to chase them down, but too easy to catch humans. Instead, she finished cleaning herself while she watched the little purple-tinged white soul hovering near the corpse as rats swarmed and devoured it. She stopped and grinned as it said something to her.

"Go ahead," she said. "But if you do, you'd better keep a close eye on that precious little sister of yours." She chuckled as the soul shivered and burned fiercely.

A banshee with pale green eyes appeared suddenly behind the soul and carefully scooped it into her hands. "You've died again," she said in a sweet voice. "How did it happen this time?" She stared at the flickering soul in her hands for several moments then slowly looked up at the other banshee. "Cassidy? Why would you do that? This boy is -"

"I know who he is!" she snapped. "I don't care! He doesn't deserve it!"

"No," she said sadly, "he doesn't deserve THIS. Come now, little one. Let's send you off so you can return. No, the pain will go away. I promise." She swallowed the soul then vanished back below the ground.

As she was flying through the air towards the castle, the pale-eyed banshee listened to the soul swirling around in her ribcage. "Oh, you never remember any of this," she told him. "We've had this conversation many times before. Yes. I do not know why she would behave so. I must report it. Hm? You don't want me to? I'm sorry, but I have to… Because her behavior is unacceptable. What? Your sister? She can't harm her. No. Well, because YOU come back. Though, she still should not have attacked you… Do not be afraid. Ah, we're here. Farewell."

.

Kenny was awoken in the night to the sound of something crashing and flailing around across the hall. Startled, he jumped up and fell off the side of his bed onto the floor. He heard a shout. "Karen!?" He ran out of his room, not bothering to grab his pants or coat, and threw open the door to her room. No one was there. "Fuck! Karen!?"

.

Lucy was so startled by the sudden banging on her door that she yelped and dropped the book she was reading. She quickly jumped to her feet and stared at the door. "Wha- Who is that!?"

"Lucy!" She recognized the voice on the other side. "Lucy, help!"

"Kenneth?" She opened the door and gasped. "Kenneth! You're…indecent."

He was only wearing underwear, but was too frantic to acknowledge it. "Lucy! I can't find Karen! Cassidy did something to her, I know it! Oh god! What if she killed her!?"

"Cassidy?" Lucy suddenly looked rather agitated. "She knows better than to do that!" She grabbed her coat and exited the shed. "I'll fetch Brooke and we can get to the bottom of this."

"Dude," Darren yelled down from his window. "What's with the shouting? …And why are you running around in your underwear?"

"Cassidy did something with Karen!"

"Oh, god damnit!" Darren closed his window and went downstairs to join him in the next yard.

About as soon as he stepped foot in the yard, Brooke kicked open her front door, looking furious. "I've had ENOUGH of that banshee!" she was shouting. "I TOLD Quinzel! This is the LAST. FUCKING. STRAW!"

"Princess, please," Lucy said behind her. "Language."

"AMORA!"

The pale-eyed banshee immediately appeared before her and lowered her head. "I'm here, Princess."

"Amora! You're the one in charge of Kenny's soul when he dies, so you must be able to sniff out Karen's?"

"Yes, I could easily identify it."

"Do it. NOW!"

The banshee didn't seem bothered by her demanding, angry tone. Instead, she bowed again then pulled her body free of the ground. Amora sniffed and looked around a bit, standing up on her hind legs to catch a better scent. "The only pure white soul in the whole town," she said. "I've got it." She held her tail out towards them and Brooke and Lucy reached out to touch it.

Darren and Kenny exchanged looks before hurrying over to grab the tail, too. "Oh, sweet!" Darren said as they were now in someone else's backyard. "Banshees can poof people, too!"

"Where are we?" Kenny asked.

"This is…" Amora sniffed. "Jimmy's backyard."

Lucy suddenly transformed into her beast form, startling Darren and Kenny, then snarled and bolted behind the shed. They heard snarling and growling as she wrestled something down out of sight then dragged the banshee out by her neck. She dropped Cassidy and pinned her down by pressing a large paw on her back and the banshee hacked something out of her mouth.

Amora stepped forward and picked up the small object. It looked like a glass ball, about the size of a tennis ball. "Here she is."

"What!?" Kenny ran over to see. There was a tiny version of the little girl inside of the ball, looking very frightened. "What did she do to her!?"

"Fear not," Amora told him kindly. "It is a simple, harmless spell." She ran one of her claws along the ball and it split, a white light shinning from it until Karen had suddenly appeared on the ground.

"Ugh," she shook her head. "What happened? How did I get here?"

"Karen!" Kenny hugged her.

"Kenny? What's going on?" She looked at the werewolf pinning the skeleton monster down, then looked up at the other monster standing behind her. "What? Am I dreaming?"

"Yes, little one," Amora said. She lowered her head and gently nudged Karen's cheek. "It's only a bad dream due to the spoiled dinner you ate. Go back to sleep."

"Oh…" she yawned and suddenly felt very drowsy. "Okay…"

"Banshees have magic sleep powers, too?!" Darren said. He winced as Brooke and Amora both shushed him. "Sorry…"

"W-What the fuck is going on?" Jimmy was peering down at them from a window. "Kenny? Why are you n-n-n-naked? And what the fuck are t-those things? Why are you all in my y- in my-my- in my yard?"

"Uh-oh," Brooke said.

A Guard appeared behind him in the window. "Huh?" He turned in time for it to grab him by his head and lift him.

"MEMORY ERASURE IN PROGRESS! ERASING! ERASING! ERASING!"

"Sorryyyy!" Brooke called then turned and walked over to Cassidy. "Now, YOU! I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but I've had ENOUGH! Amora told me what you did to Kenny, and now THIS?! You're going in the wall!"

"Um, what is 'the wall'?" Darren asked.

"But Princess -"

"QUIET!"

Cassidy flinched and shut her mouth. The Guard from upstairs suddenly appeared through a vortex next to them. Lucy stepped aside as it reached down and grabbed the banshee by the shoulders. "YOU HAVE COMMITTED AN ACT OF TREASON AGAINST THE PRINCESS! YOUR PUNISHMENT…"

"One-hundred years in the wall," Brooke said.

"ONE-HUNDRED YEARS IN THE WALL!" the armor echoed then walked back into the vortex with the banshee in hand.

Lucy changed back into her human form and dusted herself off calmly, while Brooke took in a deep, calming breath. "Okay," Brooke walked over to Kenny, who was now carrying a sleeping Karen. "Sorry about that. She's only recently started with that awful behavior. I don't know why she's so angry."

"Y-Yeah…"

"A good timeout in the wall will cool her down. No banshee likes the wall."

"Again," Darren said, "what is the wall?"

She ignored him and grabbed the back of Kenny's head, gently pulling him closer and pressing her cheek against his. Stunned, he stood there awkwardly as his face heated up. "Goodnight," she said quietly then let him go and walked away.

"What…was that?" he asked as Lucy passed.

"Hm? Oh, the Princess has a tendency to do that to apologize sometimes. It's actually a werewolf habit." She blushed a little. "I suppose she picked it up from me when we were younger. Another habit she picked up is pressing foreheads together."

"What does that mean?" Darren asked.

"That's a monster habit in general. A show of affection. Anyways, Amora will take you back to your homes. And rest assured that Cassidy will no longer be a problem."

"Okay, but like, what is the wall?"

"It's like timeout, but for banshees. It involves shoving them into a wall near the bathrooms. Their heads poking out on one side and their bodies on the other. It's highly uncomfortable and terribly boring."

"The fuck?"

**To be continued…**


	28. Chapter 28: Turkey Tuesday

**This one is based off a weird dream I had. Lol**

* * *

In the lunch line at school, Darren was behind Cartman and Butters and was watching them with an odd expression as they chanted "It's Taco Tuesday!" over and over in front of him. He was starting to wish that he did what Brooke and Lucy do and bring his own lunch. Pros: he wouldn't have to wait in line for a meal he may not even like, AND he wouldn't be subject to hearing and seeing this annoying display of theirs every week. Cons: he'd actually have to wake up earlier to prepare and pack a meal because he knew his mother wouldn't. She would just complain about him not eating the food at school. He sighed and stepped forward as the line shifted.

"Aw man," Clyde said as they retrieved their lunch plates. "I don't feel so good today…"

"Well," Darren told him, "that's what you get for always lying about being sick to stay home. When you actually ARE sick, no one believes you and they make you go to school. Anyways, what's wrong with you?"

"I don't know… My stomach feels weird and I keep getting cramps."

"Did you try going to the bathroom?"

"Yeah…nothing came out."

"That sucks."

"I wish I'd have stayed home today," Brooke said as they sat down across from her.

"Why didn't you?" Stan asked. "In fact, why do you even come to school? You're a Princess. Don't they have, I don't know, like, special home schooling for that?"

"Appearances need to be kept up," Lucy said. "The more NORMAL human activities she participates in the less likely the Nightmares will find her. They're not very intelligent creatures, but if she keeps pushing it!"

Brooke was making a guilty but also annoyed face and refusing to look at her. "Yeah, okay, I get it!"

"Besides," Lucy's calm and polite tone returned. "It's always good to learn."

"Yeah," Darren said, "but Mr. Garrison never really teaches us. And when he does, it's…uh, dumb. That's why Clyde can't do math right!"

Clyde didn't respond. He was hunched over with his chin resting on the table and arms wrapped around his abdomen, trying to ignore the smell of the food around him.

"I hate math," Brooke muttered. She picked up a red apple and took a loud bite of it, satisfied with the crunching sound.

"You like literature, right?" Kyle asked and she nodded.

"Speaking of learning," Cartman said through a mouthful of food, which earned him a disturbed look from Lucy. He swallowed. "That bitchy banshee the other day said something about Brooke not being your real name." Remembering now as well, the other boys looked over at her curiously.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. It's not."

Darren stared at her then finally blinked rudely. "Um, any OTHER secrets we should know?!"

"Probably," she shrugged and took another bite of her apple. She contemplated silently to herself as she chewed then swallowed and shrugged again. "I mean, they're not secrets just because you don't know about it."

"Still, you don't ever think that things like THAT would be important to tell us?"

"Not really…" she glanced away.

"Well then," Kenny said. "What's your REAL name?"

"Well, you guys wouldn't be capable of understanding the ancient language of the monsters whether you heard it or read it. It's a bunch of weird sounds I don't think humans can imitate."

"They cannot," Lucy interjected.

"Yeah, so anyways, I can at least tell it to you in human-English translation. Basically, roughly, it's a name that would translate to you guys as 'Angel' or, actually, more like 'Death Angel' or 'Dead Angel'."

"So," Kyle mused, "you're the Angel of Death and your name is… Angel of Death?"

"Something like that." She finished off her apple then started pulling the seeds from the core and pocketing them. "Everyone back home just calls me Angel or Princess. Brooke is the name my human parents gave me."

"You mean your not-parents?" Darren said.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Darren."

"Why are you keeping those seeds?"

"None of your business! What the hell do you think?"

"Well I don't know! You have so many SECRETS!"

"Oh, quit acting all butt-hurt! Go play Black Jack with Mr. Squirrel."

He turned around suddenly to look for something. "What? Is he here? That bastard!"

Cartman stared at Brooke. "That…THING you turned into…was an ANGEL?"

"No," she told him. "That thing was a Wechuge. The angel thing comes from my dad's side. He has wings, too, you know."

"Really?" Darren turned back around. "Under the cloak?"

"Mm-hm. There are different kinds of angels. Stupid."

He winced and stared at her, offended and in mid bite of his taco.

They all stopped and looked over at two boys yelling a few tables away. Tweek and Craig were suddenly arguing loudly about something, both of them standing up now. "You should KNOW what I'm talking about!" Tweek screamed.

"But I DON'T! What the hell's the problem?!"

"AGHH!" He stormed away.

"Fine! Leave!" Craig shouted after him then turned and angrily threw his plate of food on the ground before storming off in the opposite direction.

"Hey," some other kid said after. "I have an idea… FOOD FIGHT!"

There was a sudden riot in the cafeteria. Yelling and food flying in all directions and tables being upturned to be used as cover. "Well," Brooke casually got up from her seat and turned to leave. "Time to go outside now, I guess."

"Oh dear." Lucy ducked out of the way of a tossed handful of meat then quickly followed after her. But not before giving Kenny and Darren both stern, disapproving glares for joining in.

"Nooooooo!" Cartman shouted. "Not the tacos! WHYYYYY!?"

It didn't take long for Mr. Mackey and the principal, as well as a few teachers, to go see what was going on. It did, however, take them several minutes to regain order and usher all of the children into the schoolyard. Brooke had met up with the boys, except for Darren, who seemed to have disappeared among the rush. She gave Kenny a stern look and shook her head then turned and smacked Cartman in the back of the head.

"AGH! What'd you hit ME for?!"

"Well, I don't want to hurt Kenny. Oh, and because I hate you." She walked away.

He rubbed the back of his head and shot the other boys glares as they laughed at him. He grumbled, "Fucking… Angel my ass…"

"How odd," Lucy said. She was standing off in the corner talking with Riley and Butters when she got some kind of alert on her phone. She scrolled through the article. "Seems that a nearby turkey farmer's turkeys have escaped and are running loose. Hm. I'm not a fan of turkey. Personally, I prefer beef."

The two boys leaned over to look at her phone. "Oh jeez," Butters said. "That's a lot of turkeys!"

"Seventy-two turkeys escaped," Riley read aloud. "Wow."

"Are turkeys friendly?"

"Well," Lucy said, "they're prey animals, so they're usually quite skittish. But like chickens, I'm sure they can put up a decent fight with those sharp talons they're equipped with."

Feeling a tad detached today, Brooke decided to ignore everyone and just walk along the fence that surrounded the schoolyard. She stopped at the far end to watch cars pass for a few minutes then grew bored and continued walking. Along the way, she found Craig sitting alone on a bench with his head resting in his hands as he stared at the ground. Brooke watched him for a minute, debating if she wanted to ignore him too, but the empathetic side of her was too strong and quickly overpowered the detached selfish side.

"So," she said as she walked over, "what's up with you?"

"Nothing! HE'S the one who's got something 'up' with him!"

She knew he was talking about Tweek. "Yeah. You two were yelling at each other earlier." He was about to say something, but she held her hand up to stop him and leaned over to stare at something behind him. "Wait. …Is that a fucking turkey?"

"Huh?" He turned around to look. There was indeed a large turkey strutting around the schoolyard and getting closer to them. Several nearby kids stopped what they were doing to watch it, a few of them even scurrying away from it. "What? Why the fuck is there a turkey here?"

The large bird stopped several feet away, tilting and cocking its head around to look at them with wide eyes. It suddenly looked directly at Brooke and started kicking its feet like a bull readying itself to charge.

"Oh, hell no," she leered at it. "Bring it, turkey bitch!"

The bird returned the leer and suddenly ran at her. She yelped and jumped a step back, surprised as it leapt up at her. Its wings beat the air rapidly, sending feathers all around as it tried to raise its claws at her. She covered her face with her arms, getting scratched a few times, then swung out and knocked it back to the ground. With a hard kick, she punted the turkey, forcing an odd sound from it, and launched it all the way over the fence.

"Fuck you, you big ugly chicken!" She yelled as it ran away. With a huff, she fixed her hair and turned back to Craig. "So, anyways. You were saying?"

"Uh… Well, Tweek's all mad at me about something today and I don't know what. And when I asked, he got even madder and started yelling at me that I should already know!"

"Huh." She thought for a long minute. "Well, I don't know if this will make you feel better, but…" She moved closer, lightly placing her fingers under his chin and tipping his head up, then planted a soft kiss on his lips.

He blinked. "Uh, I'm not complaining, but…what the hell was that for?"

"Do you feel better?"

He was surprised at the sudden rush of calm that passed through him. "I – Actually, yeah. What did you do?"

She shrugged. "Don't worry about it. Oh, by the way…he's probably mad because you forgot about his birthday."

He flinched and watched her walk away. "Shit."

"Dude," Stan said. "Did you guys see that?"

"You mean Brooke punting a turkey, or Brooke kissing Craig?" Cartman asked. "I mean, totally saw both, but which one are you talking about?"

"The Craig thing."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, she totally just kissed him. Right on the lips."

"Huh," Darren said nonchalantly as he joined them.

"What the FUCK!?" Kenny yelled angrily. "Why'd she do that?!"

"Well," Darren shrugged. "That's what you get for not claiming her sooner."

"Wha- What?! I – FUCK YOU!"

"Dude, chill. Seriously though, why haven't YOU actually made any moves?"

"I – Well I – I don't-!"

"Whatever," Stan rolled his eyes. "You totally have a thing for her, dude."

"No I don't!"

"Uh, yeah, you do," Darren told him. "That's why you always get jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" he stamped his foot.

"Yeah you are," Stan said. "Why else would you be so mad about it?"

Cartman snorted. "Dude, you're totally jealous."

"Fuck you guys!" He stormed off.

They laughed. "Man," Darren said. "Quit being a little bitch, right Clyde? Clyde?" Clyde had been standing beside him earlier but now there was no sight of him. There was only a lingering stench. "Aw, it smells like shit!" Darren covered his nose.

As the bell ending recess rang out across the yard, all of the children began to scurry back inside to their classes. But Brooke purposefully hung back in the hall and waited until everyone had gone before she started heading the opposite way towards the front doors. She paused at the doors, glanced back to make sure that the coast was clear, then exited the school and started walking west towards the pond.

.

"Oh, well shit on me I guess." Mr. Garrison placed his hands on his hips and glanced between the two empty desks in his class. "It's only just after lunch and I already lost TWO students? All right, where are Clyde and Brooke?"

The students looked around. "Yeah," Kyle said, "where IS Brooke? We saw her at recess."

"And what about Clyde?" Stan asked.

"I think Clyde shit himself," Darren said.

"Oh," Mr. Garrison said. "… Okay, so where's Brooke? Anybody? … No? Oh well." He turned to the chalkboard and started writing. "All right class, now continuing our lesson –"

.

"What do you mean 'she's gone'?" Lucy asked as they left school that afternoon. "She didn't say anything?"

"No," Darren told her. "We assumed she had to go do Princess stuff, but since you're still here…"

They heard a distant screaming getting closer.

"Uh, do you guys hear that?" Stan asked.

They stopped at the corner of the sidewalk and watched as Brooke ran down the street screaming as a flock of more than fifty turkeys chased after her.

"Jesus Christ! What the hell's going on?!"

"Oh dear," Lucy sighed.

In the blink of an eye, the girl had transformed into a large blue-eyed beast and leapt over the boys. She charged straight into the flock, and all the boys could see through the dust and snow were flying feathers and terrified turkeys as the sounds of snarling and turkey gobbling filled the street. The frenzy only lasted about a minute or two before the birds finally found escape routes and scattered frantically away from the werewolf. As the turkeys and dust cleared, they saw her standing on all fours with a dead turkey hanging from her mouth.

She shook herself to remove the feathers that had clung to her glossy fur. "Well, that was exciting." Even in her frightening beast form, she still had the same polite little girl voice.

"Lucy," Darren said. "It is SO easy to forget that you're a werewolf sometimes."

"Where did Brooke go now?" Kyle looked around but couldn't spot her.

Kenny hurried over to Lucy and pointed up at the dead animal hanging from her jaws. "Are you gonna eat that?"

"Huh?" She looked down at him then lowered the bird to the ground. "Oh, no. I wasn't trying to kill any of them; this one just got caught in my teeth and I accidentally broke his neck."

The other boys exchanged odd, slightly frightened, looks. Kenny didn't seem bothered and happily picked the bird up by the neck and slung it over his shoulder. "Sweet! Thanks!"

"Well," Lucy bent forward to stretch her front limbs and shoulders. Her large black claws left marks on the asphalt as she flexed them. She straightened herself back up and shook her pelt again. "It's been a while since I had a good run. Hop on, I'll give you all a ride."

"A ride on a werewolf?!" Darren ran over to her. "YES!"

She lowered herself to allow them to get on her back. "Wow," Darren patted both hands down firmly on her shoulders. "Lucy, you're ripped!"

"H-Hey," Kyle said behind him. "Stop that!"

"Why? Are you jealous?"

"No! I just…rmm."

"Your fur is super soft, too." Stan brushed his fingers through the blue-gray fur.

"The trick is to use a good conditioner," she said as she lifted herself. "Now, the four of you will want to hold on tightly. Otherwise, you'll fall off, because I run fast. Everyone ready?"

She waited until she heard each boy's confirmation before taking off down the street at full speed. They hadn't actually expected her to be quite THAT fast. It was like riding on a racehorse, or maybe faster. For most of it, the boys had their eyes closed because of the cold wind hitting their faces, and they clung tightly to fistfuls of thick fur for fear of flying off.

She slowed and gradually came to a stop in front of Darren's house. "That was awesome!" He shouted and slid down from her back.

She bolted forward again, but not for long, and stopped near Stan and Kyle's homes. "Thanks Lucy," Stan said as he got down.

Kyle was shaking slightly. "Uh, yeah thanks." He straightened his hat and walked to his front door.

Lucy trotted away then began to gallop like a horse all the way to the old train tracks and past them to Kenny's house. She slowed herself to a walk, watching where she placed her paws so that she wouldn't step on glass. "This is so unsafe," she said. She stopped by the door and he jumped off.

"Thanks!"

"Kenny?"

They both jumped as Karen walked out from behind the house.

"Oh!"

"Karen!" Kenny said. "Uh, don't be scared! This is, uh, just –"

"That's a really BIG doggy!" She came over to see.

"Uh, yeah! A-A dog!"

Lucy shot him a glare.

"I'm sorry, just go with it!" he whispered from the corner of his mouth.

"When did you get a doggy, Kenny?"

Lucy snorted.

"Uh, well, she's not mine. Um, she uh, belongs to a friend!"

The werewolf stepped forward to meet Karen as she approached, making sure to give Kenny a good smack in the head with her tail as she did. She lowered her head to let Karen reach up and pet her muzzle.

"I've never seen such a big dog! She's so pretty!"

Lucy had to resist the urge to say 'thank you'. She allowed the younger girl to pet her for another minute before gently pulling away and turning to leave.

"Bye doggy!" Karen waved then looked at the turkey. "Why do you have a dead bird?"

"Huh? Oh! This is dinner! I mean, after it gets plucked and cleaned that is…" He kicked open the front door and held up the bird. "I got food!"

His dad jumped up from the couch. "Fuck yeah! That's my boy!"

.

Outside in the backyard, a banshee with purple eyes watched through the cracked window as a man walked into the kitchen and started plucking the feathers from a dead turkey. The banshee growled quietly to himself. The bird's soul was still stuck to the dead body; he could see it just barely hanging off the leg. Unlike his cohorts Charles and Lamar, he followed the rules. As such, he had to wait for the right opportunity to collect the soul so that he wouldn't be seen by this drunken human.

After plucking the bird clean of all its feathers, the man turned to the refrigerator to retrieve another drink. He wobbled a moment, steadied himself, then suddenly collapsed to the floor.

The banshee flinched. He stared and, after realizing that the man was only unconscious, he let out a sigh and disappeared, reappearing inside. He glanced over at the human once more, then stood up and reached for the bird.

"Hey! That's my turkey!"

He froze and slowly turned his head to look at the angry human boy standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room. He recognized this boy. He glanced between the boy, the man, the turkey, and then back at the boy. "Uhhh… I didn't do that," he used his tail to point at the fallen man.

"Huh?" Kenny glanced at his dad. "Ugh, drunken asshole." He turned back to the banshee. "Whatever! You can't have that turkey!"

"But I don't want the turkey."

"You don't?"

"No. Well, I don't want the body…" He relaxed. "I just want the soul stuck to it."

"Oh, well why didn't you say so." Kenny relaxed too.

"Uhh…right. So, I'll just be taking this…" He scooped something into his claws that the boy could not see then placed it in his jaws and swallowed. A small glowing orb appeared in his ribcage. He gave Kenny a very casual, lazy salute then vanished.

Kenny walked over to his dad on the floor and kicked him. The man only grunted and didn't wake up. He turned and went over to the plucked turkey on the table. "Well now what the fuck am I supposed to do?"

.

Darren had just settled himself comfortably in his beanbag seat when his phone started going off. "Who the fuck –" He looked at the contact then answered. "Kenny? What the hell do you want?"

"I need your help."

"Huh? With what?"

"Come to my house."

"Why didn't you say so BEFORE Lucy dropped me off at my house?"

"It…just came up."

"Can't you get Brooke to help you?"

"No," he said quickly.

Darren blinked. "… Is it because you're mad at her for kissing Craig?"

"No! I'm not mad!"

"Right. Just jealous."

"I'M NOT JEALOUS!"

He held the phone away from his ear and made a face. "Okay, okay! I'm coming. What do you need help with anyway?" The other boy had already hung up. "Ugh!" Darren sat there for several minutes before finally forcing himself to his feet.

.

The two boys stood over the table, staring down at the dead, naked bird. "What the hell made you think that I know how to clean a turkey?" Darren asked.

Kenny shrugged. "Well I don't know how."

"This seems like something Brooke would know."

"Well, she's not here!"

"She COULD be," Darren rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You…you gotta get the insides out I think."

Kenny looked down at the bird then picked up a large kitchen knife. He shifted it in his hand, tightened his grip, then suddenly stabbed the turkey in the chest, sending blood spraying on both of them.

"OH FOR FUCKS -! Give me that!" Darren took the knife from him. "This is the second time I've been splattered with blood that's not even mine! You know what… PIXIE!"

The little feathered dragon appeared on the edge of the table. "Helloooo, oh!" He was surprised to find a dead, bleeding bird on the table and the two boys painted with blood. "Er, how can I be of assistance?"

"How's he gonna help?" Kenny asked.

Darren ignored him. "Do you, by any chance, happen to know how to clean and cook a turkey?"

"Oh, yes, of course!" Pixie said cheerily.

"Great! Uh, do you think this one can be salvaged?"

"Indeed!" Pixie leaned forward to get a good look at the bird. "Right. I can guide you through it, but I can't do it myself. I'm much too little. This bird is bigger than me!"

"Okay," Darren said. "Guide ME through it." He exchanged a glare with Kenny.

.

Once Darren had finished cutting and cleaning the bird, he stepped back and wiped his face with his cleanest sleeve. "Okay. Now we can just bake it in the oven, right?"

"There are many ways to cook a turkey," Pixie said. "But yes, you can do that."

"Our oven's broken." Kenny said.

Darren jumped. "What? Then how were you guys going to cook this thing?!"

He shrugged. "I don't know. The barbeque?"

"The turkey's bigger than your grill!"

"Well I don't know!"

"Boys, please," Pixie said. "If you'd like, I can take the turkey with me and have the Royal Chef cook it?"

"You can?" they both asked.

"Certainly! He won't mind. And it would be fantastic, I assure you! Just think, an oven-roasted turkey soaked in seasonings, butter, and its own juice. Stuffed with potatoes and other baked vegetables that have been marinating with it in the same pan. I'm sure he could have it ready in an hour at the least."

Both boys were staring at him and drooling. "Fuck yeah!" Kenny said. "Let's do that!"

"Man," Darren said. "I gotta go home and eat something now."

Pixie smiled delightedly and touched the very tip of his tail to the turkey. "Then I shall return with the turkey in one hour!" He and the bird vanished.

.

Brooke stared curiously at her phone as it rung once then stopped. Several seconds passed and it rung again, stopping again after one ring. She snatched the phone in her hand, ready, and quickly answered it as it rung again after a minute. "Hello?"

"AGH!" The person on the other end hung up.

"What the?" She looked at the phone. "Tweek?" It rang again and she answered. "Can you just speak already?!"

"AH! Sorry! I mean – I'm not sorry!" He sounded unsure. "You – AGH! …why did you kiss Craig?" The last bit was very quiet.

"Huh? What about Craig? Oh!" She suddenly processed it. "Oh, don't worry about that. Actually, I can explain it to you, but I'll have to explain some other stuff first. So, the main thing is that it all has to do with souls…"

**To be continued…**


	29. Chapter 29: Play Date

Brooke found the next day to be odd. Of course, not on the same level of odd as the angry turkey mob chasing her yesterday, but odd in a way that concerned her more than it confused her. Normally when she left her house in the morning for school, Kenny would be waiting for her by the sidewalk, then he would join her and Lucy on their way to the bus stop. Today, he was not there when they left, and upon reaching the bus stop, they found that he was already there. Of course, this wasn't something that bothered her. However, the rest of his behavior today did.

If not Darren, then Kenny was usually the first one to greet her when she joined the group. Today, Darren was the first, and Kenny's greeting was little more than a hum. He also usually would move to stand beside her and talk to her, but today he stayed where he was and seemed to be avoiding looking at her. He also would always sit with her on the bus, but today he sat a few seats behind her, so Lucy took his place instead.

Brooke wondered about it for a little bit, silently staring out the window at the passing scenery until Riley leaned over the seat in front of her.

"Lucy, what copy of the homework do you have?"

"B. Why?" Lucy looked up at him from the book she was reading.

"Oh. I have A. There's a question on the first page that stumped me. I don't remember the teacher talking about it."

"Let me see," she held her hand out for the paper. He handed her the paper and she skimmed over the question he pointed out. "This question is from the textbook. Did you read it?"

"I…read most of it…" he looked away bashfully.

"Do not lie to me, Riley," she fixed him with a stern look.

"Okay, okay. I read the first paragraph and got bored."

She sighed. "Read the fifth paragraph on page two-fifty-two." She handed the paper back to him then said to Brooke, "You're awfully quiet today."

"Hm? Am I?" she said absently.

Lucy gave her a look almost identical to the one she had just given Riley but said nothing.

At lunch, the school faculty and staff decided to stay in the cafeteria today to make sure that another food fight did not occur. Like every day, Kenny sat beside Brooke at the lunch table, which actually surprised her a little considering he had avoided her all morning. However, he still didn't say anything and kept his attention fixed solely on his plate.

She had never really realized or thought about just how close the two of them usually were when they stood or sat next to each other, until today now that there was a space between them. In most cases, she disliked being smothered or touched by anyone outside of her obsessed servants, but she had never actually minded it with him. She usually even enjoyed being alone, but had gotten so used to his almost constant presence that she now found herself craving that attention from him and was quickly becoming annoyed with the sudden unexplained distancing.

She was subconsciously bouncing her leg in an impatient, almost anxious, manner that attracted Lucy's attention. Lucy watched for a minute out of her peripheral vision then turned her head to look at Brooke directly. "Is something the matter?"

She froze and stared at her. She was confused by the question until she suddenly realized how annoyed and antsy she was feeling. Of course Lucy would notice. It was difficult to get anything past her. Lying, for example. Werewolves seemed to have some strange ability to tell if someone is lying, so denying that something was wrong would be pointless and only annoy Lucy. Whether it was because of their ability or not, Brooke knew that werewolves held a particular disdain over being lied to. But…what exactly _was _wrong?

"I don't know," she grunted out. This was truthful, but clearly not a satisfying answer to Lucy.

"I see," she said slowly. "You seem agitated. Did someone upset you?" She glanced very briefly at Cartman across the table.

Brooke thought about it for a moment, rapidly tapping her index finger on the tabletop. She really didn't want to talk about it, especially with everyone else around. "No." She said and quickly looked away from her. She knew Lucy would be giving her a leer for lying, so she tried her best to avoid it.

"Interesting," Lucy said with an icy tone like cold daggers. Even some of the boys looked over at Lucy upon hearing her tone change so dramatically.

The remainder of lunch was accompanied by a tense atmosphere in which everyone suddenly became very careful with what they said around the two girls. At recess, Brooke and Lucy left the group to have a private conversation in the shadow of the building where Riley usually hung around. Today however, he was playing with Butters and Tweek somewhere else instead, so the spot was left to the two girls.

"Do you think they're having an argument?" Kyle asked.

"They don't look like they're arguing," Stan said.

"Yeah, but Brooke was acting kind of weird today. Right?"

Darren hummed agreement. "Cartman, what did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything! …Did I?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. You just being here is enough to annoy me, so probably. You guys know who else is being weird?" He turned to look at Kenny and the others looked too.

Kenny winced and glanced around at them. "What?"

"Huh, yeah," Stan said. "Did you and Brooke get in an argument or something?"

"What? No! I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Okay, jeez. Why are you so mad?"

"I'm not mad!"

The others backed away from him a little. "All right dude, chill. You don't have to yell."

He was surprised with himself. He didn't mean to yell at them.

About halfway through recess, the two girls joined back up with them, and Lucy seemed to be carefully watching Kenny's behavior now. The uncomfortable silence had returned. Darren shifted his feet, pushing snow around, then was the first to break the silence.

"SO," he said loudly. "Brooke, what did YOU do after school yesterday?"

She shrugged. "Nothing really. I read a book… Oh, I was on the phone with Tweek for like two hours."

"Tweek? Oh, was he calling to ask why you kissed Craig?" He smirked.

"Yeah."

"What?" Stan winced. "It took TWO HOURS for you to explain that?!"

"Oh, well it would've taken only about one hour, but he kept freaking out and hanging up then calling back over and over. It was really annoying. Anyways, to explain THAT, I had to explain a bunch of other stuff, and he about had a heart attack when I mentioned the Nether and soul stuff."

Lucy turned to her. "Why did you tell him – Never mind. I think I understand."

"Wait," Kyle said. "What does all that have to do with it?"

"Huh?" Brooke looked at him. "Oh, well I had to explain about souls and how I can affect them before I explained what exactly I did. Otherwise, he'd just have more questions. Like you guys. You look like you have more questions."

"I do."

"Okay," Darren said. "So, what DID you do? Some kind of voodoo magic?"

"No. How many times do I have to tell you, it's NOT voodoo?"

He shrugged rather nonchalantly.

Brooke sighed. "Okay. So, several different types of monsters are dependent on souls and the energy that comes from them. Those monsters are the ones that are naturally able to see souls; Wechuge, banshees, ghosts, other souls, and elder gods. Those are some examples."

"Okay." Kyle nodded.

"They're also able to directly interact with and affect souls, even souls that still hold a living vessel. Like, for example, they could literally, physically touch your soul. They could grab it, crush and destroy it, rip it from your body, or use their own soul to share a sense of calm or joy. As long as there's physical contact, they can send that sense of calm or joy, but different touches work faster or better than others. The more personal or intimate the contact, the quicker and stronger the sense acts. Do you understand?"

"No," Cartman said.

"Yes," Kyle and Stan said together.

Darren thought about it. "So, a kiss would work the fastest? That's why you kissed Craig? To get him to chill the fuck out?"

"Yes, that's why I kissed him. But no, that's uh, not the fastest actually."

"What is the fastest?"

She blushed a little. "Uh, very close, intimate, physical contact would work the fastest and most efficiently. Um, basically like pressing really close up against each other."

"Kinky," Cartman said.

"Eh, yeah. Right. Any other questions?"

"Yeah," Darren said. "If your real mom was a giant monster, and your dad is a skeleton, how did they make you?"

She stared dumbly at him for several moments, her head tilted very slightly. He couldn't figure out if she was trying to figure it out or if she was just that bewildered by his idiocy. Even Lucy had stopped to give Darren an odd look.

"Well," Brooke said slowly. "For one thing, Mother could change her form into that of a human's. Like me, or Lucy."

"Okay, but like, how did they DO it? You know? I mean, he's a skeleton. Where is his…you know?"

"That's…not something I know, nor do I wish to know, about my father."

"And how does he eat? He said something about nachos that one time. Where does it go?"

"Eh." She was beginning to look uncomfortable.

"Let's just go with: magic," Lucy told him. "Monster bodies are…unique in many ways."

The bell ending recess echoed across the grounds. "Oh thank god!" Brooke breathed out with relief and quickly moved towards the building. She had never been so happy to go back to class…

After school had finally ended for the day, she was planning on going straight home to her dog. At least she could always count on Sniper to never waver on her. Maybe she'd even call Charles and Lamar over for company. From her birth, those two fools were her personal playmates. As such, they were always more than happy to be around her, no matter what. After school, Kenny would usually join her on the walk home, either to her house or his, but because of his behavior today, she was not expecting him to do so. She was secretly incredibly surprised when he caught up to her on the way and started walking beside her.

Lucy eyed the both of them with a very critical, almost suspicious look, but she said nothing.

No one said anything for a few minutes until they heard someone running up behind them. They stopped and turned to see Karen hurrying after them. "Brooke!" She smiled as she caught up. "Are you doing anything today?"

She thought about it. "No. Not really."

"So… Will you come over and play today?"

"Mm. Okay. I'll come play."

"Hooray!" She grabbed Brooke's arm and leaned against her. "What about you, Lucy?"

Lucy winced at the thought of entering that house again. "Eh, w-well, I would love to, but… I-I…" She spotted Kyle walking by and quickly went over to him. "I'm going over to Kyle's house, so…"

"You are?!" he jumped. "I-I mean, sure! Okay…" he squeaked.

"Aw, okay," Karen said then looked up at Brooke. "Can we pick up Sniper on the way? He has a date with Miss Bonbon."

Brooke snorted at the idea of the younger girl setting up a date scene with Sniper and the stuffed blue elephant toy. "Yeah, okay."

After stopping by Brooke's house to pick up Sniper, they headed straight for Kenny and Karen's house. Sniper was currently wearing the leather outfit and do-rag that Brooke had gotten him, so the idea of the dog going on a pretend date with a cutesy stuffed toy was becoming even funnier to her by the second.

"Miss Bonbon must like bad boys," Karen said as they entered the junkyard house. "Too bad I don't have a toy motorcycle, huh doggie?" Sniper tilted his head, not quite understanding what he was getting in to yet.

Brooke stood in the doorway to Karen's room and watched as Sniper sniffed around at all of the toys while Karen set things up. She glanced over her shoulder at the door across the hall. Kenny had gone into his room without a word. She stared at the door, debating for a long while, then huffed and told Karen, "I'll be right back. I have to go talk to your brother about something."

"Okay," she smiled. She held the stuffed elephant up to show Sniper. "This is Miss Bonbon! She's your blind date today!" The dog flinched with surprise, his ears standing straight up.

Brooke smirked then went across the hall to the other room. She thought about knocking first, but she was already annoyed with him, so she just kicked the door open instead.

"Holy fuck!" He almost fell over from the scare. "What the hell did you do that for?!"

"Because fuck you and your stupid door!"

"Huh?!"

She kicked the door back closed and grabbed him by the front of his parka, roughly pinning him against the wall. He was surprised at how strong she was and terrified by the sudden aggression, yet he found himself feeling a strange rush of heat and an exciting tingling sensation.

"What is your problem today?" she snapped. "You've barely said anything to me all day! And don't think I didn't notice how you've been avoiding me! Why are you mad at me?"

"Huh?" He winced. "I'm not mad at you!"

"Well, you WERE! Don't lie to me! I can read souls and their emotions, remember?"

"I –" He paused. He had forgotten about that, and now he couldn't come up with a way to defend himself over it. "I thought you said you didn't do that."

"Normally I ignore it. But I paid attention to yours today because of your weird behavior. Don't try to change the subject! You were mad or upset about something up until around recess. When I started talking to the others about souls, yours suddenly went back to normal. So, what is your problem!?"

He quickly looked away from her. "Okay, so I was jealous!"

"Jealous? Why?!"

"Because you kissed Craig!" His face heated up as soon as he said it. "I mean! I…I always get jealous when it comes to you and other people. Every time you get really personal or close to anyone else… Like with Clyde or Darren. Fuck, even with Lucy!"

She looked away too, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "But why?"

"I don't know!" He did know, he was just afraid to admit it. "I just…I just want all of your attention to myself I guess…"

She was confused. "What? Well, you can't have ALL of it! At least, not all of the time."

"No, that's no-" he stopped himself. "I know…"

She let him go and stared at the floor. There was a long silence between them before she said quietly, "I thought you didn't want to be my friend anymore for some reason… Like you hated me all of a sudden."

"No! I like you a lot, I –" The rush of heat passed again, but it was almost unbearable this time and the words got caught in his throat. "I… You're really important to me… I'm sorry."

She took in a slow, deep breath, not looking at him and resisting the urge to cry. How stupid. Why did she want to cry over this? She let out the shaky breath, waited for a few seconds, then slowly pushed him back against the wall in a tight, close hug. "You're…really important to me, too."

It felt like there was a lump in his throat and his eyes burned a little. There was something he wanted to say so badly, but he couldn't get it out. Instead, he buried his face in her neck and held her tightly. It was impossible for them to be any closer right now, but, somehow, he still wished they were.

"I'm sorry, too," she muttered into his shoulder. "I'll keep your feelings in mind from now on."

He had never felt to sad and so happy before. All he could manage to choke out was, "Okay." He didn't know exactly how long it was that they stayed like this, holding each other tightly and feeling each other's heartbeats. It felt like a long time but also not long enough. It was a little disappointing when she finally pulled away.

She sniffed and looked away with a small smile; her face was tinged pink. "I'd better go see what your sister's doing to my dog. She set him up on a date with a stuffed elephant."

"Heh, I gotta see that!" he smiled at her.

The sight was definitely funny, at least to them. Sniper, on the other hand, was less than amused. Karen had the dog sit at the tea table and seated the toy in a chair across from him while she pretended to be a waitress when she wasn't controlling the elephant. She even made voices for both of them, playing out an entire conversation of small talk between the dog and toy. Sniper only sat there, a very unamused look on his face, and regrettably went along with the girl's game.

"Oh," Karen said upon noticing Brooke and Kenny. "You're back!"

Sniper slowly gazed over at them, a look that said 'help me' on his face.

"Did you come to play, too, Kenny?"

"Yeah! But I'm happy to wait until their date is over."

Sniper narrowed his eyes at him.

Karen picked up the toy and held it close to Sniper. "Be a gentleman and give her a kiss on the cheek, Sniper."

He made a face. Sniper glanced several times between the stuffed elephant and the little girl's innocent, happy face then sighed heavily and gave the toy a very quick lick on the side of its face then turned his head away, nose up.

"Aw, how sweet!" she smiled. "Okay, your date's over. I think she really likes you!"

The dog grunted.

"Good boy," Brooke praised him for going along with Karen's game. Her prideful dog had never looked so embarrassed in his life.

Happy that it was finally over, he stood up and walked away from the little plastic table.

"All right Karen," she said. "What's next?"

"Next is YOUR date."

"Me?!"

She smiled. "Both of you!"

"Huh?!" the two older kids jumped.

Sniper glanced over his shoulder at them, his jowls twitching into a smirk.

"Yeah!" Karen said cheerily. "Sit down at the table."

They exchanged awkward glances with each other before sitting across from each other at the tiny table.

"Kenny," his sister said, "you have to take your hood off."

"I do?"

"Yes! You're supposed to take your hat, or hood, off in fancy restaurants. That's why I took off Sniper's hat thingy."

"I was wondering where that went…" Brooke muttered.

Kenny glanced around at the 'not fancy' room. "O-kay?" He pulled his hood down.

Karen clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "Your hair's so messy!"

"I wasn't given a warning first, okay?" He ruffled his blonde hair with both hands and she giggled at him.

"Okay! What can I get you guys to drink?"

"…Water?"

"Uh," Brooke hesitated when Karen looked at her. "Same?"

"Okay!" She placed two plastic cups on the table and pretended to fill them, then handed them each a hand-drawn 'menu'. "Are you ready to order, or do you need more time?"

"Um, I'll have the 'grilled salmon'…I guess?" Brooke skimmed over the list that was written in multiple different colors of crayon.

Karen pretended to write something down in her hand. "Mm-hm. And for you, sir?"

"Uhhhh…chicken…tenders?"

"Okay. Now you have to wait for your food to cook." She went over to the mattress in the corner and sat down on it to watch them.

They sat at the table in awkward silence for a minute or two, avoiding eye contact. Kenny strummed his fingers on the tabletop. "So," he said with a crack then cleared his throat.

Brooke bit her lip, trying to hold in a laugh. "So."

"Do you…uh, like…flowers?"

The urge to laugh was so strong that she took a moment to actually answer him. "Of course! Um, roses are my favorite."

"Oh! Really?"

"Yes. Actually, that reminds me… After school, on Valentine's Day, someone rang the doorbell but no one was there when I opened the door. But they left a heart-shaped box of chocolates with a rose attached."

"O-Oh!" he blushed a little. "So, you…don't know who it was from?"

"No." she gazed over at Karen's drawings on the wall.

"…Did you, uh, like it?"

She suddenly looked at him and he quickly looked down. "Yeah. I mean, I like food." She laughed a little. "Actually, the rose was my favorite."

He hummed. "Good. I-I mean! It's better than if it was something you _didn't_ like, right?"

"I guess so," she smirked.

Karen hopped back to her feet and walked over to them, pretending to place something down on the table. "Here's your food!"

"Uh, thanks." Kenny pretended to take a bite out of the invisible meal.

Brooke chuckled. "Delicious."

After eating their 'meal' and pretending to pay for a hand-drawn check, they both stood up from the tiny table. Kenny stretched while Brooke dusted off her jeans.

"Okay," Karen smiled. "Now you have to give her a kiss on the cheek!"

"What?!" he almost fell backwards in the middle of his stretch. "Karen!"

"Kenny!"

"Ah –" he stopped at her scolding expression. He shared a quick glance with Brooke, both of them quickly looking away with red faces. He shifted his feet a bunch, trying to ignore his sister's scolding look, then gave in and gave Brooke a quick peck on the cheek.

Both of their faces heated immediately, and Karen giggled at them.

"Okay," Brooke breathed. "Uh, it's getting late. Sniper and I should probably head home."

"Why don't you just sleep here, like always?" Karen asked curiously.

"Er, well…I – I could…I guess, but…" She looked at Kenny. "What do you think?"

"That's –" he cleared his throat. "That's fine. Yeah. Cool. I'll, uh, meet you…in the other room?"

"Mm-hm."

"Yeah." He walked to the door. As he passed, he noticed Sniper giving him a very smug look. "Fuck off," he muttered to the dog.

When he got into his room, he went straight to the bed and threw himself on it, flopping over onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. Why in the world did he do that? Well, on one hand, Karen… On the other hand, and the main reason, he actually wanted to do it. Actually, he wanted more than just a little peck on the cheek. He blushed and took in a long breath. Would Brooke be mad? She didn't seem like she was. He felt a small rush of…excitement? when he heard the door open and close.

Without a word, Brooke climbed into the bed and settled very close beside him. He suddenly realized that he was holding his breath and released it quietly through his nostrils. He was just wondering if he should say something when she turned her head and planted a long, soft kiss on his cheek. He felt a rush of adrenaline pass through his body followed by a strange calm.

"Just so you know," she said. "THAT'S how you kiss someone on the cheek."

She was surprised when he suddenly turned over and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her up against him. He pressed his face into her shoulder, trying to hide the deep shade of red it had turned. He came so close to telling her that night…

**To be continued…**

* * *

**So much cute...**


	30. Chapter 30: Drunk Hunt

The next morning, Kenny had woken up to find Brooke laying halfway on top of him. He was on his back with his right arm around her, and she was still asleep with her arms wrapped around him, head on his chest, and one leg between his two. His breath caught in his chest. How did they end up like this? It was a little exciting, but he would have enjoyed it a lot more if the need to use the bathroom hadn't suddenly hit him after his bladder realized that he was awake. Maybe he could hold it… He really didn't want to wake her up, especially with her clinging to him like this.

It was probably about another hour or so before Brooke woke up. She grunted and rubbed at her eyes, suddenly becoming aware of the position they were in. "Uh…good morning?"

"Mm. Morning," he squeaked out. "I, uh…I gotta go pee really bad."

"Well, why didn't you just go already?" She moved off of him.

He wasn't about to explain to her how much he had been enjoying her on top of him. He quickly jumped out of bed and ran out of the room to the bathroom down the hall.

"We still have an hour and a half before we have to go catch the bus," Brooke said when he returned. She laid back down and turned on her side to face the other way.

He went around and climbed back under the covers with her, laying in front of her and turning to face her. He was wide awake now, but she still looked pretty sleepy. She closed her eyes, and he watched her for a minute before edging closer to her. She opened her eyes again and smiled.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know," he replied. They were mere inches apart now. He held his breath as she moved closer too then raised her hand up to slowly stroke his face. He hummed, enjoying her touch and the slight erotic feeling it gave him, then closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh.

Why did he keep doing this? It was almost like he was torturing himself. Despite how desperately he wanted, there was no way they could actually be together. …Right? She was a real Princess AND the daughter of two powerful, super-important and worshiped beings. Her mother was basically a god…and he was, well, the things Cassidy said to him upset him only because he felt they were true. But then…if this was wrong, why did it not _feel _wrong? Each day, each second that passed, it was becoming increasingly more difficult to keep these thoughts and feelings to himself.

Getting up for school today was even more regrettable than usual. On the plus side, through-out pretty much the whole day, Brooke stuck very close by his side. Unfortunately, it wouldn't last like he wanted, since after school she had to leave with Lucy to go to yet another Council meeting. He had asked her if they usually held meetings so often, to which she told him that it was unusual but some things had come up that needed to be addressed. He wondered what those things were, but he didn't get the chance to ask before she had to go.

"Karen," Kenny said as he entered his house. His little sister was sitting on the old couch and watching TV. "Where are Mom and Dad?"

"I don't know," she replied. "They left yesterday afternoon and I haven't seen them since."

He sighed. "Ugh, great." Probably passed out drunk somewhere around town. He needed one of them to sign something for school, and Mr. Mackey was no longer so easily fooled by forgery like before.

And so, Kenny (angrily) set out on his quest around town to find his parents after telling Karen to stay inside and not to open the door for strangers.

"Okay, bye," she called after him. She sighed after the door closed. "My brother's always so busy… I wish I had friends to play with when he's not around."

"We'll be your friends," a voice said from somewhere.

"Yeah! We'll play with you, too!" Another added.

She glanced around at the empty living room. "Hello? Who's there?"

"We are!" Two large, frightening skeleton creatures magically burst out from the floor. "Heeyyyy!"

"Heeeeeyyyyyyyy!"

She jumped and yelped a little with surprise, and accidentally dropped the TV remote. One of the weird monsters caught it in his jaws and lightly tossed it back to her.

"Oh! Thanks. So…who…and what are you guys?"

"I'm Lamar, and this is my brother Charles! We're banshees!"

"What's that?"

The brothers exchanged looks before Charles replied. "Monsters!"

Karen made a worried face. "Are you the monsters that live in my closet?"

"What?" Lamar tilted his head. "There are no monsters living in your closet!"

"There aren't?"

"No way!"

She sighed. "Phew. So, where do you live?"

"Not here!"

"Yeah!" Charles smiled. "We're just spy- I mean visiting! Eheh, we're – we're visiting."

"Who?"

"What?"

"Who are you visiting?"

They looked at each other again. They really weren't even supposed to be showing themselves or talking to this little human. "Eh," Lamar slowly turned back to her. "Ya know, visiting like…tourists!"

"Yeah! Tourists!"

"Anyways," Lamar continued. "We heard ya being all lonely and stuff."

"So, we came to play!" Charles finished.

"Really?" she smiled. "Okay! We can play with the toy racecar I found in the backyard."

"You mean the dump? Ow!"

Lamar had elbowed Charles in the ribs. "Great," Lamar smiled. "Let's see it, then!"

.

Darren was just leaving his house when he spotted Kenny walking past along the sidewalk. "Oh, hey Kenny. Where are you going?"

He stopped. "I don't know. I'm trying to find my lost drunk-ass parents. What are you doing?"

"Uhh, I was just going to go get some milk at the Dollar Store. Do you, like, need help with that?"

He shrugged. "Whatever. It's not like it's the first time this has happened. Normally, I don't bother looking for them, but I need one of them to sign my permission slip."

"Oh. Well, I mean, I can help you look." He walked over to join him. "Where do they usually end up?"

Kenny thought for a moment. "My mom usually ends up in the woods for some reason."

"That's not what I was expecting to hear," Darren said to himself. "Okay! Let's check around the woods, I guess."

.

"So, did I make you guys up?"

Charles and Lamar tilted their heads at the little girl. "Huh?" Lamar said."

"You're like, my imaginary friends or something, right? You appeared like magic right after I wished for friends."

"Uhh, yeaaaahh."

"Yeaaahhhhh. We're totally, definitely your, uh, imaginary friends. Yeah."

"Huh, I always thought you'd be puppies or fairies," Karen said. "Oh well. They say you can't always judge someone by the way they look. Can you do tricks? Or magic?"

"Oh, you BET we can do tricks," Lamar nodded.

"And magic!" Charles added gleefully. "We can fly, too!"

"Wow!" she gasped.

.

"We've been walking around in the woods for almost twenty minutes," Darren complained. "And I'm pretty sure we've just been going in a big circle."

"Nuh-uh!" Kenny argued. "That stump is new."

"No it's not! It's the same stupid stump we passed three times already! It's still wet from your pee break!"

"Oh, shit… Okay, so we're lost."

"UGH!" Darren froze suddenly as he saw something small and white dart out from behind a tree. It was tiny and close to the ground and looked like a small flame. "Ah! I'm seeing souls again!"

Kenny looked over at where he was pointing a few times but couldn't see anything. "What? FUCK!"

He fell back on his rear as a banshee suddenly leapt from the tree-top and pounced on something invisible just a mere few feet from him. Only after it had swallowed it did it become visible; a tiny white ball of fire bouncing excitedly around in the monster's ribcage along with several others just like it. The banshee lowered his head to peer at them with lazy purple eyes.

"Sorry," he said in a mellow voice. "They're not yet aware that they're dead, so they're still a little scared. Gotta sneak up on 'em, ya know?"

"What are they?" Darren asked.

"Rabbit kits. Baby bunnies. Whole burrow of 'em got gobbled up by a coyote earlier. I've still got one more to find."

"Hey," Kenny lifted himself from the ground. "You're that banshee that came to take the turkey's soul at my house."

"Name's Joey," he nodded. "Yeah, I collect animal souls. Most of 'em are white. You two kids are friends of the Princess, right?"

They nodded. "We're looking for Kenny's drunk lost parents," Darren told him. "We're also lost."

"Two kids lost in the woods, huh? Shoulda left a bread crumb trail…" His head slowly drifted to the side for a moment as if he was falling asleep with his eyes open before he corrected himself and looked back at them. "Yeah, I saw a lady a few minutes ago."

"Red hair?" Kenny asked. "With a dumb shirt that says 'I'm with stupid'?"

Joey nodded a few times as he thought it over. "Don't know what the shirt said, but yeah, she had red hair. Saw her hanging from a tree."

"WHAT?!"

He looked a little surprised by Kenny's reaction before realizing what he had said. "Oh! No, no, not like that! Like, she had climbed up the tree and passed out on one of the limbs. Yeah, folded over it like a towel kinda."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh. Can you show us where?"

"Sure."

Joey led the two boys a little ways through the woods, finally stopping at a large oak tree where Kenny's mother was laying in a heap at the base.

"Oh," Joey said casually. "Looks like she fell."

Kenny shook her shoulder. "Mom… Mom! Damnit woman!" She wouldn't wake up and only mumbled incomprehensible slurred words in her sleep. Kenny sighed and lifted her as best he could and began dragging her across the ground.

"Are you bringing her home?" Darren watched curiously. "Do you need help?"

"It's not like this is the first time I've had to do this shit," he grunted.

Darren suddenly felt really bad. "Well…maybe Joey can help?" He glanced over at the banshee.

Joey was rummaging around in some nearby bushes until he threw his head up in a swallowing motion and a new ball of light appeared in his ribcage. "Hm?" he looked over his shoulder at them. "Sorry. I wasn't listening. Found that last bunny… You say something?"

"Uh, yeah. Could you maybe help us bring Kenny's mom home?"

"She's like a dead weight!" Kenny grunted as he stumbled under the woman's weight.

"Oh…" Joey's head slowly began to tilt before he suddenly straightened himself again. "Yeah, sure. But I gotta go after. Gotta get these bunnies ready for their afterlife, you know?"

"Uh, right," Darren said.

The banshee went over to them and slipped himself under the unconscious woman, lifting her off the ground and onto his back. He folded his web-less wings to hold her in place and started walking in the opposite direction.

"You were going the wrong way, anyway," he told Kenny.

The boy made a face. "Well, fuck."

As they walked alongside the monster, Kenny watched the little rabbit souls bouncing around energetically within Joey's ribcage. He knew from seeing Kyle touch Charles and Lamar that he could easily reach his hand through the bones if he wanted, but somehow the little balls of light did not seem able to escape. Then again, these banshees were nothing but bones, yet somehow, they could eat, drink, move, speak, and even _feel_. Maybe he should stop trying to question magic and interdimensional beings… Still, weirder things have happened.

Joey seemed to have noticed him staring and glanced over at the boy with his sleepy purple eyes. "You bringing curiosity, or what?"

"Huh?"

"You look like you've got some questions. I can lay down some answers to 'em if you want. Dig?"

"The fuck -? Uh…yes?"

"Cool, cool," Joey nodded. "What's eatin' ya?"

"Oh," he finally understood what he was saying. "Nothing. I was just watching the little bunny souls. Do you feel them moving around in there?"

"The bouncy cotton tails? Yeah, kind of tickles."

"You some kind of hippie?" Darren eyed the banshee.

"I don't know what that is."

"…Oh. Really?"

"For real. Anyways," he looked back at Kenny. "That the only question you got to pitch? Cause it's rare that I'm up to bat out answers. You get me?"

"I…think I do?"

"Cool, cool. You're saying one thing, but your white and bright soul is telling me otherwise. Well, mostly white… Got a tinge of indigo in there, too. Blue and purple mingling like two lovers locked together in – What was the question again?"

"Uhhhhhhh," Kenny was now lost again. "I didn't ask one yet."

"Oh. Well send me a pitch over this way before I gotta bounce back to the underworld. You got questions? I might have answers."

"Uh, no. No, I don't have any questions."

"I do," Darren said. "Are you on drugs?"

"Depends what you consider a drug," Joey replied. "Hey, you know, I remembered that you kids were buddy-buddy with the Princess, but it just hit me exactly who YOU are."

"Me?" Kenny tilted his head.

Joey nodded. "Yeah. You're that Cthulhu-cursed boy who's got the hots for the Princess."

He cringed so hard he almost hurt himself. "I – do NOT!"

"AGH!" Darren shouted suddenly and covered his eyes.

Joey was still nodding. "Cool, cool. But that bright and white soul of yours just flashed as bright as the summer sun on a cloudless day." He tilted his head almost completely on its side. "You positive about being on the ice?"

"I don't know what that means!"

"Aw, I don't get why you won't just admit it already," Darren rubbed his eyes. "What's the worst that could happen? Besides, I'm pretty sure she-"

"Fuck you!"

"You see? That's the thing you do when you can't argue anymore. You love her. We all know you do."

"Shut up! I don't! Just because I think she's pretty, and really cool, and the best friend I've ever had doesn't mean I have a thing for her! Just because I get kind of turned on when she touches me doesn't mean anything!"

"Uh…"

"Just because I kind of liked the way it made me feel when she pinned me against the wall and threated me doesn't mean I have the hots for her!" He seemed to finally realize what he was saying and slapped his hands over his mouth.

Joey's head was tilted so far, he looked like something was weighing it down, and Darren just stared at Kenny.

"Dude," Darren said. "Really?"

"That ice is cracked and melting real fast," Joey jerked his head back straight. "You don't even have time to find a boat 'cause you already fell through."

"What are you even talking about!?" Kenny snapped.

He only shook his head side-to-side. "You're not picking up what I'm putting down, but it doesn't matter 'cause I'm picking up yours. Denial is a road to lies and stress. Once you accept yourself, your flaws, your thoughts, and your feelings you'll never be steered wrong again. Not even by yourself. You digging me? You got serious feelings there and you know it, but there's something stopping you from telling her, so you keep denying it to yourself and not just others. It might be rough like gravel and shells, but you gotta let yourself think about it. Think about it hard. Then, when you figure it out, let yourself know and accept the truth. Dig? Nah, you ain't gotta answer anybody else before you answer yourself. But answer yourself." He tilted his head again. "You…picking up what I'm putting down, yet?"

"I –" he relaxed a little and looked at the ground. "…Yeah. I got it."

"Cool, cool. Now, let's bounce on over to your pad and drop off the lady so I can get these cotton tail kits to the next life."

.

"No, no," Lamar said. "That hat is so last season! That's so winter; we're in spring now!"

Charles removed the little hat from the old stuffed bear. "But the seasons look the same here! Fine. What do _you_ think, Karen?"

"I thought it was cute, but maybe this will work better?" She handed Charles a folded paper hat she had made with a newspaper.

The two banshees stared blankly at it for a moment before smiling brightly. "It's perfect!"

"Such style! Such grace!"

Karen giggled gleefully at their praise then gasped as the front door opened. "Oh! Kenny!" She ran over to meet him. "You're back!"

"Yeah. I found Mom." He tensed as Joey entered the house right in front of Karen, but the little girl didn't seem even remotely frightened or even confused.

She watched Joey deposit their mother on the couch. "Oh, you have an imaginary friend, too?"

"A what?" He noticed Charles and Lamar in the background. "What the- What are YOU guys doing here!?"

"Do you know them, Kenny?" Karen asked.

"Uhhh…"

"They showed up after you left when I wished for someone to play with. I always thought fairies would be smaller."

"Fairies?"

The banshee brothers shrugged. "We told her we were monsters," Lamar said.

"She told US that we're fairies!" Charles added.

"How did you get your fairy?" she asked Kenny, smiling at Darren as he entered. "Did you make a wish to find our parents, and then he appeared to help?"

"Uh, something like that…"

She went over to pat Joey's haunch, and he turned to look at her curiously. "What's your name? Are you here to play, too?"

"Name's Joey," he turned to face her and lowered his head for her to reach. She grabbed his face and pulled him closer so that she could nuzzle his forehead. "Nah, I can't stay and whack bushes with you guys. Not today at least. Very busy. Gotta get the cotton tails to their new pad then bounce on over to the other side of town to catch a deer."

She giggled. "You talk funny. Okay, maybe we can play some other time?"

He nodded after she released his head. "Cool, cool. Yeah. Some other time and I'll pop on over to hang. See you on the flip side, tiny human." He suddenly dove downward and vanished in the floor.

"That guy's totally a hippie," Darren said.

"Who? Joey?" Lamar asked. "Ha! Yeah, he's really mellow, but a cool guy."

Charles nodded in agreement. "He's actually Cassidy's big brother."

"Seriously?!" Darren jumped. "That crazy jerk is related to HIM?!"

Charles nodded again. "Yup! But don't worry," he added to Kenny. "He doesn't hold any grievances about you getting his sister put in the wall."

"That wasn't MY fault!"

"Are you going to play with us now, Kenny?" Karen asked.

"Er, n-no. But later! I have to go find Dad now so he can sign something for school. I PROMISE that I'll play with you when I get back."

"Well…okay." She turned back to Charles and Lamar. "You guys will stay with me until then, right?"

"Sure!"

"You betcha!

.

"Are you sure he's in there?" Darren asked.

Kenny shrugged. "He wasn't at any of his other favorite hang-outs. If he's not here, then I have no idea where he could be."

The two boys had set out to find Kenny's father, but had no luck in locating him yet. The last place Kenny suggested was The Peppermint Hippo, the town's strip club.

"They won't let us in there, though," Darren told him. "Ever since that Rogers kid got in to sneak pictures of the strippers, they actually started watching who was allowed in."

"Damn, you're right… But I just need him to sign this stupid paper."

"Can't you wait until he goes home?"

"But it's due tomorrow! I don't even know if that idiot will go home after he leaves here. Whenever that'll be…"

"Fair point. Okay, how about this –" He took a deep breath. "PIXIE!"

A few moments passed before the little yellow and green creature appeared before them in a puff of sparks and papers. He frantically snatched the papers from the air and poofed them back to wherever it was he had come from.

"Oh dear! Er, y-yes!" He straightened himself up. "How can I help you?"

"Were you busy?"

"No, no! It's fine!"

"You didn't have to come if you were busy."

"Really, it's fine! I needed a break from all that paperwork anyway… So! What did you boys need?"

Darren took the permission slip from Kenny and handed it to the pygmy dragon. "Can you go in this building and find Kenny's dad? He needs to sign this paper. Don't worry," he said after seeing Pixie's worried expression. "The people inside are too drunk, high, or stupid to remember you after they see you."

Pixie took the paper from him. "All right."

"Do you know which one his dad is?"

"Yes, I remember." He disappeared.

Pixie poofed inside of the main room of the building. He was a bit surprised by the loud music playing. There were a lot of men from the town sitting around watching scantily-dressed, or not dressed, women preforming what Pixie thought might have been considered dancing…in some worlds. He climbed up onto the back of a nearby chair to get a better look around at the faces and spotted Kenny's father in the other corner. The man was looking very drunk.

"Pardon me, sir." Pixie climbed up onto the table where he was sitting.

"Huh? Whazzit? What the hell are you?"

"Hello, sir. Er, forgive my pestering, but –" he placed the paper on the table with a pen he had spawned. "Could you sign this, please?"

He leaned forward and squinted at it. "What is it?"

Pixie quickly examined the paper. "It appears to be a permission slip for a school fieldtrip. Your son wanted me to bring it to you to sign."

"Kenny?" he hiccupped. "Oh okay." He grabbed the pen; Pixie had to take it from him and place it back in his hand right-side up. "There. Permission – granted! Whoa!" The pen disappeared in his hand.

Pixie picked up the paper and made a face at the sloppy signature. "Eh, thank you."

"Here you are," Pixie said as he appeared back outside and held the paper out to Kenny.

He happily accepted the paper. "Sweet, thanks! Hey, do you want to come play with me and my sister? Charles and Lamar are there, too."

"Well, I suppose I could spare a few hours." He smiled. "Why not?"

"Cool. What about you, Darren?"

He shrugged. "Eh, I got nothing better to do."

**To be continued…**


	31. Chapter 31: Pressure

Riley rolled over onto his stomach, tangling himself in the sheets, and half-opened his eyes to watch the morning light beaming through the window. He took in a long, deep breath through his nostrils then released it in a contented sigh. He felt well-rested and relaxed.

The room was warm and clean, and he felt no sense of fear or urgency to get up and leave. There was no lingering scent of cigarettes or musky odor of beer, only the fresh clean smell of his bed sheets.

He could hear someone walking down the hallway on the other side of the door, but no rush of panic or horror passed through him. No fear of the person on the other side of the door. No assumption that that person was going to hurt him.

He untangled himself from the sheets and sat up, pausing to look around at the floor. There were no bandages or other medical supplies anywhere, because he didn't need them. The only things on the floor were a couple of scattered papers and drawings, crayons, and some Legos off in the corner. It was so peaceful and warm in here.

He tensed, an awful, sick feeling taking over in his stomach as the image of his father passed through his mind. Then, the memory of him bleeding, falling, dying, all while staring at Riley in disbelief and fury. Riley felt nauseous.

No longer wanting to be alone with his thoughts, he hurried out of bed and left the room, went down the stairs, and was incredibly relieved to find Brooke sitting on the couch in the living room. He paced himself, not wanting to appear as though something was wrong, and sat so close beside her that they were now stuck in the middle of the cushions and leaning against each other.

"Morning," he figured he should say something.

She grunted. He knew by now that the girl was not a morning person. Actually, he was a bit surprised that she was awake this early on a Sunday. She turned her head a little to get a look at his other arm.

"Does your arm hurt?"

"No." Yesterday, Lucy allowed him to keep his arm free of the sling as it was already healing rather well. She still insisted on keeping it wrapped tightly in a tourniquet that was so thick it was more like a cast. As it was, he didn't have any pain.

"Good," Brooke muttered and turned back to the TV.

"What are you doing today?" He was desperate to keep himself distracted from those awful memories that kept popping up in his head.

She hummed a sound that was similar to 'I don't know.' "I might go back to sleep. Sniper woke me up because he had to go outside and I couldn't fall back asleep, but now I'm feeling sleepy again. I'll probably sleep 'til like noon… Or until the boys show up to bug me. Are you going to Butters'?"

He could hear the sleepiness in her voice. "Yeah, if you're going back to sleep then I'll go hang out with him. He always wants me around anyway."

She smirked. "So do you."

He blushed a little, but grinned and nudged her in her side with his elbow. "Whatever."

After Brooke had gone back upstairs to her room, Riley went to the kitchen to get something to eat for breakfast. His stomach was feeling a little better, but just to be on the safe side, he ate a light breakfast of toast and a single mandarin. After, he left through the front door and walked across the yard to the Stotch's residence next door.

"Oh, good morning Riley." It was Butters' mom who had answered the door. She stepped aside to let him in. "Butters is upstairs in his room. He hasn't come down yet, so I think he might still be asleep."

Riley thanked her and went upstairs. He knocked on the door but there was no response. After waiting a few moments, he turned the knob and quietly opened the door to peer inside. Butters was indeed still asleep, on his back with his limbs sprawled out, head to the side, and the blanket only covering one leg while the rest of it sagged on the floor.

He stepped into the room and closed the door then went over to the side of the bed to look. He pursed his lips, trying to hold in a laugh. Someone had a rough night…

"Butters," Riley said.

Butters grunted and turned his head the other way, but still did not wake up.

Riley took notice of a stuffed toy sitting on the bedside table. It was the little pink bunny Jake had given Butters the other day. He stared at it, wondering what the boy was doing right now. Was he safe? Surely. Jake always found ways to weasel out of trouble and dangerous situations. But, all of Jake's thieving and illegal dealings would come back to get him one day, wouldn't it? Maybe, if he tried hard enough, he could convince Jake to leave. But where would he go?

Riley inhaled deeply and released it in a sigh then turned his attention back to Butters. He suddenly remembered the annoying thing Jake would do to wake him up sometimes. Riley reached his hand out and grabbed Butters' nose between his thumb and index finger and held the nostrils closed. He waited, and after a few seconds, Butters made a strange sound like the air had gotten caught in his throat and he woke with a start.

"AH! …Oh. Oh! Hi, Riley!"

He laughed. "Uh, good-morning!"

Butters rubbed at his eyes. His hair was a mess. "Ugh. Is it morning already?"

"Were you up late or something?"

"No. I've just been really sleepy lately. I don't know why."

"Hm. Maybe you're getting sick."

"What do you mean?"

Riley shrugged and climbed on the bed with him. "Well, usually, when you're sick, you get really tired. It's because your body heals better when you're asleep."

"Why?"

"I don't know." He thought for a moment. "Maybe it's because, when you're asleep, your body can just focus on the sickness instead of a bunch of other stuff. …I think."

"Oh," he rubbed his eyes again. He felt a little dizzy when he closed them. Butters made a quiet little sound of surprise upon feeling something touch his forehead. Riley was lightly touching the back of his hand to Butters' forehead.

"Pretty sure you have a fever," Riley told him.

"Aw, really?"

"Yeah. I guess you should go back to sleep."

Riley didn't have to tell him twice. Butters felt so groggy and his eyes burned a little; he gladly pulled his blanket up and curled up beneath it. He was a tad surprised when Riley laid down with him.

"You're not worried about getting sick, too?"

He shrugged. "I never get sick."

"You've never been sick?"

"Not that I recall." He turned onto his side to face him. "I've never been sick, just injured."

Butters frowned. "That time that your dad really hurt you…and you called me for help… Did he ever hurt you that much before?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. He was staring into his eyes.

"W-well, where did you go then?"

"Before you, you mean?"

He nodded.

"Oh," Riley pulled his gaze away. "I usually just stayed in my room after… Ah, but, sometimes, if I didn't have enough supplies left to treat myself, or I just couldn't, I would go to Jake's place."

Butters seemed to perk up a little at the mention of Jake's name. He felt a mix of curiosity, excitement, and just a tiny bit of jealousy. "Oh! Where does he live?"

"An abandoned apartment building a few blocks from my… From where I used to live. Locke's a pretty shitty, rundown city."

"I thought it was a boulevard?"

Riley laughed a little. "Yeah. Locke is the name of the city, and that boulevard is named after it. I heard it all fell apart a long time ago. Don't know the reason, though. Not that I really care… Most of the people still living there are teenagers and kids abandoned or abused."

"Oh jeez. Uh, oh! Jake kind of mentioned the building he lives in. He said it doesn't have electricity."

"No, it doesn't. It's an old brick apartment building and it's pretty dark in the halls. The lobby where the main entrance is has a big fireplace, though. Jake stays in a room up on the third floor."

"How many floors does it have?"

"Only six, but the ceiling collapsed on the top floor a long time ago, so you can only get to five."

"Maybe we could go visit him sometime?"

"What?" he flinched. "Butters, you've only seen a single street in Locke. The city is so much worse than that."

"Oh, right… Do you miss Jake?"

"I –" Riley was caught off-guard by the question. "…Y-Yeah. I do." He noticed him squirm a little and look away. "Why?"

"I-I was just wondering! I-I mean, you – you guys were friends and all…"

He was surprised at Butters' sudden nervousness. "Uh, yeah… I mean, I guess so." He was even more surprised when Butters suddenly flipped himself over so that his back was to Riley.

"Well, I-I'm gonna go back to sleep. Okay?" he asked timidly.

"Uh, sure?"

It took a little while, but Butters finally fell back into sleep; Riley could tell he had fallen asleep by his now steady breathing. He moved himself closer and pressed his forehead against his back, wrapping his arms around Butters' waist. If all of this peace was only a dream…he never wanted to wake up.

Riley had fallen asleep as well after a little while, but he woke up again after about an hour or so upon hearing the hamsters gnawing on the bars of their cage. He sat up, glanced down at Butters who was still asleep, then got out of the bed and went over to the cage to look. The food dish was empty and the little rodents were chewing on the bars.

"Oh, you guys are hungry?"

One of the hamsters suddenly pounced on another in a blur of fur and squeaks.

"Hey, hey! Stop that!" Riley opened the cage and shooed them off each other. "Okay, sheesh. You don't have to eat each other!"

The animals watched expectantly as he took the dish and filled it from a nearby bag of hamster food. Before he could even remove his hand, the little furballs were climbing over him and each other to get to the food.

"There," he closed the cage door and watched them for a minute. "You little savages."

Paranoid that they would start fighting again, Riley sat in a chair across from the cage and watched the hamsters go about their daily activities. Most of them buried themselves and went to sleep, while two of them seemed to be competing over the exercise wheel until one lost and flew off the wheel. He found them cute but also annoying and stupid.

It wasn't until about one-twenty in the afternoon that Butters woke up. He turned onto his belly and stretched all his limbs out then sat up and noticed Riley. The other boy was watching the hamsters in their cage.

"Good-morning again."

Riley raised an eyebrow at him. "It's almost one-thirty in the afternoon, Butters."

"Really!?" He shot his clock a bewildered look. "Wow!"

"How are you feeling?"

"Huh? O-Oh. I…I feel better, actually," he smiled. "Not one-hundred percent, but better than this morning."

"That's good. Oh, you should separate your hamsters. Or get a bigger cage. They keep trying to eat each other."

"Aw, not again!"

Riley looked at him oddly.

"Sprinkles is always trying to eat Ham-Ham. And Lenny is always kicking Dewy off the slide."

Riley looked back at the animals. They were all the same colors and patterns. "How do you tell the difference?"

Butters slid down from the bed and went over to the cage with him. "Oh, that's easy. See, that one's Sprinkles, and that one's Ham-Ham… Or is THAT one Ham-Ham? No, wait, I think that's Jedidiah."

"Riiight," Riley rolled his eyes.

"Maybe I should color-code their uniforms."

"Their what?"

"Oh, that's right! I never officially introduced you to my REAL identity."

Riley blinked.

"Hold on, wait right there!" Butters ran into the closet and closed the door. "No peaking!"

He blushed a little and turned back to the hamsters. "Does he always do this?" One of the rodents ceased its grooming to look up at him.

"Okay," Butters said from inside the closet. "Prepare yourself, mortal! For I am –" he threw the closet door open. "PROFESSOR CHAOS!"

He was wearing an odd costume partly made from aluminum foil, complete with a cape, aluminum foil gauntlets, and an aluminum helmet.

"Do what now?" Riley said.

Butters let out a 'menacing' laugh. "Do not be afraid, Riley! I may be a villain, but I'd never do anything to hurt my friends!"

Riley's head cocked to the side. "Oh! Is that what this is?" He turned to mutter to the hamster, "Why didn't you warn me about this?"

"Now that you know my secret identity, you can't tell anyone. Okay?" Butters' regular tone had returned.

"Huh?" he jumped a little. "Oh, yeah. That's cool. I mean, whatever you want, Butters."

"These little fellas are my minions," he gestured to the hamsters. "There's also General Disarray…"

"Which hamster is that?"

"Oh, no, he's a person, not a hamster!" he laughed cutely.

"You mean someone _else _is involved in this?" He cleared his throat. "I-I mean, of course! How…_silly_ of me."

"Hey! Riley, you can be a general, too!"

"What?"

"Yeah! I'll have to think of a name for you. But, together, we will spread chaos and entropy, a-and make our enemies rue the day they were ever born, you betcha! Uh, so whaddaya say?

Riley sighed a long, slow sigh that almost released all the oxygen within him, then straightened himself and smiled sweetly at Butters. "Sure, _Professor_. I'll do whatever you want."

He blushed. "Oh! R-Really? Well, okay then. Great! So, do you wanna go get some ice cream?"

Riley bit his lip to stop himself from laughing at the sudden change in subject. "You're feeling well enough?"

"Yeah, I feel fine."

"All right then, but I have a request. Please – and I will get on my knees and BEG if I have to – change your clothes."

"Ah, that's right. I can't be seen in public like this. Not YET. It'll blow my cover."

"Yes. That – That is exactly why I asked. Yes."

Once Butters had changed out of his costume, the two of them left to go to a small ice cream parlor on the main street. Most of their time there, Riley spent listening to Butters talk about new ideas for his minions' costumes and plans to conquer the world with chaos. As silly and embarrassing as it was, Riley's fondness of the boy was too strong to allow him not to go along with it all.

They spent the rest of the afternoon at Stark's Pond, where Riley was trying to teach Butters how to skip stones over the water.

"I did it!" Butters cheered. After many failed attempts, he managed to get a stone to skip two times over the water before it plunged into the depths. He turned back to Riley excitedly. "Did you see?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "See? I told you, you could do it."

Their game was interrupted when a police car pulled up and came to a stop close-by and two officers stepped out. The boys watched curiously as the officers approached.

"Riley Stewart?" One of them asked.

"Y-Yes?" he felt sick all of a sudden.

The officers exchanged looks before one of the took out a pair of handcuffs. "You're under arrest for the murder of your father, Clay Stewart."

He felt his blood run cold. "I –"

"Anything you say can, and will, be used against you." He moved behind him to place the cuffs on the boy.

Despite the fear and panic he felt, Riley was submissive and didn't try to argue or resist them.

"Wait," Butters said. "W-What's going on? Riley didn't do anything!"

"Save it, kid," the other officer said. "We've got what we need as proof."

"B-But –" he looked at Riley. "Riley, you – your dad left, right?"

He wouldn't look directly at him. "Not…physically."

"What do you mean? Y-You said that he left. You – Did you really…?"

"I…didn't mean to…"

"Huh?"

"He hit me in the head with a bottle. I couldn't see. I just…grabbed something and hit him with it. I didn't mean for him to…to die."

Butters felt like his heart stopped for a second.

"Already got the confession," one officer said to the other. "Let's get him squared away."

"W-Wait!" Butters said, tears beginning to form in his eyes. "He was just defending himself! His dad was the bad guy!"

"Murder's murder, kid," the cop said. He lightly nudged Riley's shoulder towards the car. "Let's go."

"No, but – !" Butters ran over to Riley and grabbed his shirt. "Riley! I don't want you to go…"

He pressed their foreheads together. "I don't want to leave… But it's true, Butters. It was an accident, but… I'm sorry. I love you."

His breath caught in his chest. "Riley…" he whined.

Before he could say anything else, Riley pulled away and entered the back of the police car without another word. Butters watched, horrified, as they drove away.

.

Brooke had joined the boys at the park after Kenny had shown up at her house to invite her to play. She didn't understand how to play basketball, though, and wasn't very intent on learning. Instead, she played fetch with Sniper and watched the boys play.

They had been there all afternoon and were gathering up their things to leave when Butters showed up crying and panicking.

"Whoa, dude, Butters calm down," Stan told him. "What happened?"

It was hard to understand him in his panicked babbling. "Abuduh – uh – Riley – dad – police!"

"Riley's dad's a police officer?" Darren tilted his head.

"Police – take!"

The boys exchanged confused looks. "Hey Brooke," Darren called. "You got any idea what he's freaking out about?"

"What?" She walked over from the benches and looked concerned when she saw Butters. "Butters." She pulled him into a hug to use her soul to calm him down. "Okay. Now, tell us what's wrong."

He sniffed and pulled away. "Riley and I were at the pond, and some police officers showed up and took him away for murdering his dad!"

Everyone jumped. "What?!" Kyle squeaked.

"Holy shit, dude!" Stan said. "Riley killed his dad?!"

"I knew it!" Cartman shouted.

"No!" Butters shouted, surprising them. "I-I mean, he was just defending himself!" He turned back to Brooke. "His dad was –"

"I know, Butters." She stopped him.

"You – you do?"

"Yeah," Stan said. "You do?"

She nodded and hugged Butters again. "Don't worry, Butters. I'll take care of it. He'll be okay."

"What are you going to do?" Kenny asked.

She sighed softly. "First, I'm going to take Butters home. Then, I'll have someone retrieve Riley, and I'll have the royal guards do a LOT of erasing… Lucy's going to scold me."

"Not as much as Quinzel will."

They turned to see Lucy standing there with her hand on her hip. She closed her eyes with a sigh after seeing Butters. "But I suppose the trouble and paperwork will be worth it if it means helping Riley. I _have _grown quite fond of him myself."

"Y-You have?" Kyle stammered.

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Next chapter will introduce an old new character. By that I mean, a character from a single episode of the show will be making an appearance in the next chapter.**


	32. Chapter 32: Jail Breakers

**Ah, this one introduces an old new character. He's a character from a single episode of the show. The episode is called _Kindergarten_. Let's see who has watched the show and remembers him...**

* * *

Butters had been so upset that he managed to conjure up his fever again, and Brooke had taken him home to explain to his parents that he wasn't feeling well. After taking his temperature, they determined that he should stay home from school the next day to rest.

"Don't worry, Butters." Brooke had walked him up to his room and was gently wiping his tears away. "We'll have it all fixed by tomorrow. Now, you ARE sick, so try to get some rest. Okay?"

He sniffed. "Okay."

After settling him into bed, she left to return to her own house next door where Lucy was waiting for her in the living room. Brooke patted Sniper's head as he moved to greet her.

"I was going to have…literally anyone else do it," Lucy told her, "but Charles and Lamar _insisted_ that they could do this task just fine. Of course, I'll leave the final decision up to you, Princess."

"I think they'll do fine," she replied. "They're boneheads and jokesters, but they can do their jobs perfectly."

"Do you think they can get through the walls of a concrete prison?"

"They've done it before…"

Lucy sighed. "That's true. They're not like normal banshees."

No; Charles and Lamar were very special. All of the monsters of the Nether originally came from Sol, Brooke's late mother, but Sol had created Charles and Lamar especially for her daughter. They were made to be like living dolls, the Princess's special playmates that would never be too busy or preoccupied to play with her. They were to always, absolutely, without a doubt give all of their undying affection and attention to the Princess. All of the monsters were obsessed with the royal family, especially Brooke since she was the only Wechuge left. But those two banshees were even more obsessed than any other monster. In fact, they were so obsessed that if she didn't tell them to do other things, they would be right there at her side at that very moment and never leave. Of course, they _did_ have a tendency to follow her anyway or hang around her general location.

Nonetheless, like all of the Princess's monsters, they were more than happy to do pretty much any task that she asked of them. So, ever since she could remember, Brooke relied on them a lot. After her mother and then her brother died, aside from Lucy, Charles and Lamar were the ones always at her side. They often even argued or fought over her attention, so it came as no surprise to her that they were the ones who volunteered for this mission.

"All right you two," Brooke said.

The two monsters popped their heads out from under her bed then pulled themselves out into the open. "Heyyyyyy!"

"Heeyyyyyyy!"

"You remember what to do?" she placed her hands on her hips.

"Yeah!" Charles said."

"Of course we do!" Lamar said. "We wait 'til after dark –"

"After everyone's asleep –"

"Then we pop into Riley's cell, wake him up, explain what's up, shove him in the magic sack, and then we pop outta there with him in tow."

"And we bring him back here," Charles added.

Lamar nodded. "All without making a big scene."

"Yes," she nodded too. "The 'big scene' part is important. The Guard already have a lot of memory changing to do. They don't need to add 'erase memory of banshees' to it."

"Gotcha! No problem-o!"

"Ooh," Charles said. "If we do good, can we get Princess pats?"

Brooke rolled her eyes but exchanged a smirk with Lucy. "Yes, if you do good you can get Princess pats."

"Hooray!" they cheered.

.

Who knows how long the ride was from the pond to the detention center? Riley was too lost in his own thoughts to know or care. He ignored the chatter between the two officers in the front and stared out the barred window at the passing town. He didn't even know how long he would be gone… Maybe forever? He just hoped that Butters would be okay. He'd get over it eventually, right? Maybe…

He sighed and turned away from the window, leaning forward to press his head against the cold cage wall that separated the back of the vehicle from the front. He could feel it vibrate with every bump in the road. As annoying as it was, he found himself close to dozing off before the vehicle finally pulled to stop and turned off. He jolted awake as his door was opened.

"All right kid," the officer who had opened the door said. "Let's go."

Without a sound, Riley complied and scooted sideways out of the vehicle, hopping down on his feet and looking up at the large concrete building. He glanced to the side and saw a tall chain-link fence topped with barbed wire and surrounding the entire complex.

"Yeah," the officer told him. "Don't even think about running. There's nowhere to go."

"I wasn't," he muttered and turned to follow the cop.

They led him inside to a man sitting at a desk behind a plexiglass wall. "Okay," the man said through a speaker in the glass. "Any items on his person to turn over?"

"Nah," the officer escorting Riley replied. "He doesn't have anything except the clothes on his back."

The man behind the wall hummed, eyed Riley suspiciously, then pressed a button that caused a nearby door to unlock with a clunk. "Take him in."

Riley wasn't sure why they bothered calling the place a different name. The other side of the door was exactly what he had always seen prisons depicted as. He followed the officer up some stairs and along a railed balcony, passing many cells with children and teenagers inside. Most of them merely looked over curiously at them as they passed while others completely ignored them, and there were the odd few that would mean-mug them and shoot Riley threatening or rude gestures.

"Typically we only keep two to a cell," the officer was saying. "Three if we really need to… But we've got a lot of you little hoodlums in right now, so unfortunately for you, you get to share with one of our worst cases. He came in at only five years old. We let him out at ten, but I guess some people never change, because he got himself put right back in here for another five years for the same shit." He stopped at one of the cells and shoved a key into the lock. "Last kid that shared a cell with this guy ended up having to go to the hospital. Good luck." He slid open the cell door.

Riley shot the cop an odd, curious look as he passed him to enter the cell. He paused inside to allow the cop to remove his handcuffs before the door was slammed shut again and locked. He rubbed at his wrists and briefly glanced around the cell before locking eyes with another boy across the way.

The other kid was bigger, rather muscular, with tattoos on his upper arms, and held a permanent scowl on his face. His hair was short, wild, and blonde, and he wore black pants, a black muscle shirt, and a tattered red vest that may have once been a typical plaid shirt but the sleeves were torn off.

"Hmph," the other boy huffed. "Been a while since they gave me a cellmate. Who the fuck are you?"

"Riley," he replied and went to sit on the floor in the corner.

"Never heard of ya," he scoffed. "Where are you from?"

He really didn't feel like talking right now, but the vibe this kid gave off told him not to piss him off. "I started going to school in South Park, but I'm from Locke."

He almost looked surprised, or maybe just curious. "Locke? I heard that place is a bigger shithole than South Park. So, what, you in here for something stupid like drugs or something?"

Riley winced a little and pulled his knees up to his chest. "No," he mumbled and stared at the floor. "They arrested me for…murder."

"Did you do it?"

"…Not on purpose."

He huffed again and leaned back against the wall. "I got thrown in this joint for some shit a buncha other assholes did. Got my revenge on one of 'em…just four more to go."

The menacing tone in his voice caused Riley to look up at him, but he quickly lowered his gaze back down to the floor.

Later, after all of the lights had been shut off for the night, the other boy had climbed into the bottom bunk of the bed in the back corner, but Riley had not bothered to get up from the floor since he got there. On one hand, he didn't want to move, on the other, he really didn't want to try getting into the top bunk and risk the bigger kid challenging him or something. So, he came to the conclusion that it was pointless to bother sleeping anywhere else and leaned in to the corner where the walls met and closed his eyes.

.

"Why'd this whole joint have to be made entirely of concrete?!" Lamar complained aloud. He and his brother could normally use their magic to pop through the walls and floor of most places, but more solid things like concrete and metals were a bit more troublesome to move through. They weren't able to simply poof in and out of places like pygmy dragons, at least, not without a very clear path. Magic is…complicated.

They were currently using their magic to burrow through the concrete floor of the prison. It was almost equal to a pair of moles tunneling through tough roots and rocks in the soil.

"What time is it again?" Charles asked.

"I don't know! When did we start?"

"Midnight."

"How long have we been going?"

"Uhhhh…an hour?"

"Beats me," Lamar said. "At least the scent is getting stronger. We're getting closer to whichever cage they have Riley in."

"Good thing we bothered to remember his smell," Charles smiled. "Ah, his soul smells like cedar. Too bad there's a hint of stress."

Lamar shook his head. "Yuck! Someone around here smells sour! …But with a hint of hay."

.

Riley jumped a little as something touched his foot and startled him awake. It took him a moment to adjust to the darkness, but he could clearly see a pair of glowing green orbs beside a pair of yellow ones.

"Heeyyyy," one of them said quietly.

"Heeeyyyyyy," the other said at a similar volume.

He realized who they were just as his vision fully adjusted on the skeletal monsters halfway protruding from the floor. "Wha-? Lamar? Charles? Is that you?"

"You betcha," Charles smiled.

"We came to bust you out!"

"What?" Riley sat up.

"Yeah," Lamar continued. "The Princess told us to come get you."

"We're gonna bring you back home!"

"Home?" he felt a strange feeling at that. A pang of anxiety washed away with excitement. "B-But, what about –"

"Don't worry about it."

Charles nodded. "Yeah! The Princess will have it alllll fixed in a jiffy. Eh, but we gotta go before the Royal Guard gets here."

"Yeah, last time we were in the way, we got stepped on."

"My poor tail…"

"What the hell is going on?"

They turned to look at the other boy. He had woken up from the chatter and gotten out of bed to see what was happening. He was staring suspiciously at the two creatures sticking out of the floor, his eyebrow cocked quizzically.

"Uh-oh," Charles said.

"Riley," Lamar said. "You didn't tell us you had company."

"Eh…"

"What the fuck are you things?"

"_Ahem_," Lamar turned back to the boy. "We're banshees."

"Why are you guys telling him?" Riley asked worriedly.

"Eh, who cares? The Guard'll wipe his memory anyway."

"Didn't the Princess tell us NOT to add that?" Charles asked his brother.

"Oh, yeah…"

"What are you freaks talking about?" The boy looked at Riley. "You know them?"

"Uh…"

"We're talking about how we're gonna bust Riley outta here," Charles told him. "OW!"

Lamar had punched him in the shoulder.

"Really? Well take me with you!"

"Huh?!" the banshees flinched.

"Why?" Lamar eyed him.

"I was framed! I don't belong in here!"

"A likely story…" he tapped a claw to his chin. "Hmm. I guess we _could_ take you with us, but only if our boss says so."

"Who's your boss?"

"The Prin- er, her name is Brooke."

"I don't think I know her," he thought aloud. "Well, ask her!"

"Hey, we don't take orders from you! But okay." Lamar disappeared then immediately reappeared. "Eh, what's your name?"

"Trent."

He disappeared again.

.

Brooke was sleeping soundly when she was awoken by her dog barking at something.

"It's just me!"

Sniper stopped and sniffed at the banshee then wagged his tail and licked him.

"Sheesh," Lamar sighed.

"Lamar," Brooke groaned and sat up. "What are you doing? Where are Charles and Riley?"

"Oh, about that… So, we found Riley, Charles is back with him. We were about to get him out, but then there's this other kid in the cage with him –"

"Cell," she corrected.

"Same difference. Anyways, he's this angry-looking kid named Trent who says he was framed. He wants to come, too."

She stared at him. "…What was he framed for?"

"Eh, hold up." He vanished then reappeared after a minute or so. "Okay. He said that in kindergarten, these kids wanted him to start a fire so they could play firemen and put it out, and they ASSURED him that they could put it out, so he started a small fire. But they didn't put it out, so the WHOLE classroom caught on fire and totally messed up the teacher lady real bad and almost killed her or something. Then, they wouldn't tell the police the truth because they were afraid of getting in trouble, so they got him sent to juvie for five years."

"Okay –"

"THEN," he continued.

"Oh, there's more…"

"He got released and went to get revenge, BUT a similar situation occurred to the SAME teacher lady and they got him sent to prison AGAIN for five more years."

"That's…pretty messed up."

"I KNOW right?"

She sighed. "Okay. Fine. Take him, too. But DON'T let anyone else see you… And don't make me empathize with anymore criminals!"

"Okaaay!"

.

"So," Charles said in the awkward silence. "Nice cage ya got here."

Lamar popped back into the room.

"Oh, thank SOL you're back! I was afraid I'd have to start making jokes or something."

"So, what did your boss say?" Trent asked.

"Oh, she said you can come. Now," he produced a large brown sack. "Both of you, get in the magic sack."

Riley and Trent exchanged odd looks.

"What?" Lamar said. "Banshee magic's complicated. If you aren't in the sack, you might lose a limb or two while we…travel."

Trent shrugged. "Whatever. Not the weirdest shit I've ever had to do."

Riley sighed. "Unfortunately, same."

"That's the spirit!" Lamar smiled.

.

Once again, Brooke was woken up that night, and not even a full hour after the first interruption.

"Ugh," she groaned. "Damnit boys, it's a school night!"

"Eheh," Lamar lowered his head. "Sorry, Princess, but…"

She sat up and was surprised to see a stranger in her room standing beside the two banshees and Riley. Sniper had his head forward, staring at the stranger as if confused whether or not he should be threatening him. She quickly turned her attention on Riley, though.

"Riley," she hopped out of bed and hugged him. "Are you okay?"

"I – yeah." He was enjoying the embrace. The familiar warm, calm feeling of the house swept over him. It really was home.

She let him go and turned back to the others. "Okay. Why did you bring that kid here?"

"Well," Lamar said, "you see…"

"We tried to bring him to HIS house," Charles took over. "But apparently his family moved or something. They're not there anymore."

"Actually," Lamar said. "I remember that house. Weren't they the souls Jamie and Lou had to collect a few months ago?"

"Hm? Oh! You mean the car-crash victims."

"Yeah!"

"Yeaaah!" Charles turned back to Brooke. "Yeah, they're dead."

"Wha- Oh for the love of –!" she threw her hands up. She sighed and turned to Trent. "I'm…sorry for your loss."

He shrugged.

"Right… Well, if you have nowhere else to go, I guess you can stay in the basement. It's a finished basement. Really nice."

He seemed a bit surprised. "Oh. Thanks. Who are you, anyway? I don't remember you."

"You've been locked up for five years," she told him. "I moved here a couple months ago. Uh, my name's Brooke and these two are my idiots." She gestured to the banshees. "Charles and Lamar."

"Hello!" they sang.

"Just, uh, make yourself at home, I guess. But not in my room. Get out. All of you."

.

The next morning, Brooke growled into her pillow as her not-mother woke her up to get ready for school. She angrily threw her blanket off, accidentally covering Sniper with it, then got dressed and went to the bathroom to brush her hair and teeth.

Lucy met her downstairs. "Brooke," she said urgently. "Who is that angry boy in the kitchen?"

"Oh, that's Trent. Charles and Lamar brought him back with Riley last night."

"But why is he HERE?"

"Turns out his parents died while he was locked up, and he has nowhere else to go."

Lucy let out an exasperated sigh. "Princess! You can't just let a criminal stay here!"

Brooke shrugged. "I'm the ruler of an entire world of monsters and man-eating beasts. I'M a monster and a man-eating beast."

"Yes, but –"

"Lucy, I know you're my royal advisor, but you worry too much about my decisions."

"Incorrect."

"Whatever. What are you afraid for? You're a werewolf."

"Oh, I assure you, I am NOT afraid of him. But he…disturbs me."

Brooke left her in the living room and went into the kitchen where Trent was sitting at the table and angrily munching down a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal. She paused to watch him for a moment, making a face at the mess of milk splatters on the tabletop, then walked around to the other side and sat across from him. He paused briefly to look at her.

"Uh, so we have school today," she told him. "I guess you can just do pretty much whatever. But stay out of my room!"

"Fine."

She watched him for a minute, annoyed by his tone, then bent over to whisper to Sniper under the table. "If he tries to hurt any of my animals, kill him."

Sniper let out a confirming snort.

She straightened herself back up. "So, what do you plan on doing today?"

He slammed his fist down on the table. "Getting my revenge! It's long overdue."

"Right. Have fun with that." She hopped down from the chair. "See you later."

.

"Guys, I'm telling you," Darren was saying. "Mr. Squirrel IS real!"

Stan rolled his eyes. "No, dude. You didn't start seeing him until you used that Soul Powder crap."

"Yeah man," Kyle said. "It's all in your head."

"No! He's –" he stopped and turned to look at a bush behind them. "I hear you!" Darren jumped into the bush.

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman all watched as the bush shook violently as Darren wrestled something within it. There was a strange chittering animal sound and a raccoon suddenly burst free of the bush and darted across the street.

"Fuck you," Darren shouted after it. "This is MY bush!"

"What are you idiots doing?" Brooke asked as she joined them with Lucy and Kenny.

"We weren't doing anything," Stan said. "Darren just fought a raccoon for a bush."

"And I WON!"

She rolled her eyes while Lucy and Kenny shot Darren odd looks.

"So, how'd it go last night?" Kyle asked. "Did you get Riley out?"

"Of course," Brooke said. "Well, Charles and Lamar did. The guards took care of the rest."

"Oh, so Riley won't have to worry then?"

"He got away with murder," Cartman said. "Nice."

"Shut up."

Darren wiped leaves and snow off of himself and rejoined them at the bus stop. "Cool. I bet Butters will be happy."

"We also have a…guest," Lucy did not look pleased.

"What? Who?"

Brooke shrugged. "Some boy my dummies brought back with them last night. Said he was framed by some jerks in kindergarten or something."

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny all tensed and exchanged glances. "W-What's his name?" Stan asked.

"Called himself Trent."

The boys cringed and looked horrified, aside from Darren who had no reaction whatsoever.

"Tr-Trent?" Cartman said. "As in, Trent Boyett?"

"I don't know. I didn't get his last name… Why?"

"Oh. My. GOD!"

"He's gonna kill us, dude!" Stan shouted.

"What?" she cocked her head at them. "Oh – don't tell me – YOU guys are the assholes that got him locked up?"

"Language," Lucy scolded.

"Yes!" Kyle squeaked. "Jesus, dude, we're gonna GET it!"

"You let Trent Boyett FREE?!" Cartman screeched.

She shrugged. "YOU pissed him off."

"Really, Princess!" Lucy scolded her again.

"Oh, hey," Darren looked over at someone walking towards them. "Who's that?"

"IT'S HIM!" Cartman knocked Stan and Kyle aside into the snow as he ran away.

Lucy took a small step back as Trent passed and watched him warily.

"Finally," he cracked his knuckles. "Don't even bother trying to run like that fat ass. I'll get him, too. You assholes are gonna regret even EXISTING!"

"We already do," Stan gulped.

Brooke watched curiously for a moment. The instant Trent took a step towards a frightened Kenny, she stomped her foot down, melting the snow around her boot, as she stepped between them to glare at Trent.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked angrily.

He was a little surprised by her interference. "Get outta my way! I ain't against hitting a girl for getting in my way!"

A rush of pure fury passed through her, releasing a wave of powerful heat from her body that quickly melted all of the snow within a six-foot radius of her. She snatched him in her fists by the front of his shirt, easily lifting him from the ground as her red eyes glowered, her fangs appeared, and her large feathered red wings burst from her shoulders.

Her voice had become frightening and snarl-like. "If you even DARE touch him, I will RIP your soul right out of your body and DEVOUR it right in front of you as the light leaves your eyes!"

"What the fuck are you!?"

"I can easily be your biggest ally or your worst nightmare," she growled. The grass, once covered by snow, around her was beginning to catch fire from the intense heat. "I let my servants free you, AND I allowed you to stay in my home. You will NOT challenge me! You will NOT lay a FINGER on Kenny!"

"Okay, fuck! Put me down! You're catching my clothes on fire!"

She dropped him and closed her eyes, taking in a slow, calming breath as her wings disappeared in a burst of feathers and smoke. The air around her cooled, and Lucy quickly stamped out the little flames in the grass.

"I understand why," Lucy muttered, "but you know better than to allow your rage to fuel your powers. You could have –" she stopped herself.

"You're lucky your girlfriend was here to protect your sorry ass, McCormick!" Trent pointed at him.

"And you won't harm Stan or Kyle, either!" Brooke snapped.

He clenched his teeth so tight that he could've locked his jaw that way. He shook a little as he clenched his fists, digging his fingernails into his palms. "Fine!" he snapped loudly at her.

The other boys gasped and stared at her, expecting her to react angrily. But she only sighed and reached her hand out to gently stroke his cheek. He winced, looking quite surprised, and felt a weird wave of calm wash over him.

"I understand why you're so angry," she said softly. "Believe me, I do. They clearly regret what they did, they're just stupid. But you must understand that I will NOT allow you, or anyone else, to harm my friends." She shot them a glare over her shoulder. "Even if they deserve it."

The boys gulped.

He blushed a little and pulled away from her. "What the hell even are you? …W-Whatever."

She smiled. "Oh, but you can do whatever you want to Cartman. I hate him."

"Good." He turned and stomped away in the direction Cartman had ran.

"Holy shit," Stan said is disbelief. "You scared off Trent Boyett."

"How is that even possible?" Kyle breathed.

"Damn Brooke," Darren said. "You scary!"

She was about to respond but was thrown off when Kenny suddenly latched onto her in a tight hug. "Ack! This is almost as constricting as a hug from the Basilisk!"

.

Butters woke up pretty early, but he only left his bed to go use the bathroom. After, he immediately returned to his room, closed the door, and crawled back into bed. It wasn't because he felt sick or anything; in fact, his fever had gone completely and he was no longer fatigued. He was just too depressed to do anything else.

He was turned over and facing the wall with his back to the door. When he heard the door open, he didn't bother to turn and see who it was. Just one of his parents checking on him. The door closed, and he assumed they must have thought he was asleep and left.

"Hey, Butters." He heard a gentle, familiar voice right behind him.

Butters held his breath. Should he turn to see, or was it just his mind playing tricks on him? He decided to risk it and turned his head to look back over his shoulder. He jumped up, getting tangled in the bed sheets as he tried to climb out of the bed as quickly as possible, and almost fell face-first onto the floor but managed to catch himself.

"Riley!" He finally managed to shake the sheets off and got to his feet. He paused, staring worriedly at Riley. "You – I mean, is it really you?"

He laughed. "What do you mean? Ah!"

Butters had practically thrown himself at him and was hugging him so tight that Riley could feel his ribs resisting the pressure.

"B-Butters!" he gasped.

"Sorry!" Butters released him and stepped back. "I-I'm just so happy you're back! I thought I'd never see you again! I was… I was really sad."

He smiled softly at him. "Me too."

"But you're here now!"

"Yeah. Uh, Butters…I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth about what happened. A-About my dad, I mean. It was just so…" he glanced at his feet. "I just wanted to get it out of my head. I thought not talking about it would work, but I think it just made it worse. Sometimes I have nightmares…"

"Oh, well that's okay. I mean, you were just defending yourself. At least…he can't hurt you anymore, right?"

Riley looked up at him. "Yeah…"

There was a sudden awkwardness between them.

"Uh, so," Butters twiddled his thumbs nervously. "Before you left…y-you said…that you… And then that one night you…kissed my cheek… Um." His face was turning red. "Riley, do – do you really love me?"

He blushed furiously. "Ah, well…y-yeah. I do."

"O-Oh!" he smiled a little to himself. "Well, I-I think I love you, too."

"Oh!" Riley's voice almost cracked and he cleared his throat. "Really?"

"Mm-hm." He stepped closer to him.

"Oh. Okay." Riley stared at him. Butters had suddenly gotten very close to him. He moved closer to him, too, closed his eyes, and softly pressed his lips against his for a long time before slowly pulling away.

They stared at each other, surprised, then blinked and laughed before hugging and nuzzling each other happily.

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Aw, such a cuuuute! Finally, my cute boys have admitted to each other. I got a lot of romance shit goin' on, especially in later chapters to come. Lol, if it wasn't obvious, I'm quite fond of trauma as well as romance.**

**The reason why Trent decided not to challenge Brooke is because, well, yes, she is a bit frightening, but Wechuges, being basically gods here, have a very intimidating air of authority about them, especially when they're mad. Also, he is secretly very appreciative of her allowing him a place to stay and doesn't really want to mess that up. So, yes. Trent lives in the basement now.**


	33. Chapter 33: White Elephant

**Oh, this is a neat one. More building up on the overall story and the super deep lore I have unintentionally created lol.**

* * *

Like yesterday and the day before, recess was spent indoors in the school gymnasium due to the torrential rain that had been falling nonstop since it started two days ago. The rain was so loud that their teacher had to shout in the classroom to be heard over the noise. In the large gymnasium, the sound of the rain wasn't as bad, though still clearly audible, but they were able to speak at normal volumes.

"Yeah," Stan was telling Kyle. "Our backyard is starting to flood. Sparky won't even go out there to pee anymore, so my dad bought a big litter box hoping that would work."

"Does it?"

"Not really. He pees on it, but not IN it."

"Huh," Kyle passed him a basketball. "I don't think it's ever rained this much before in South Park."

"Pfft," Darren rolled his eyes. "Feels like I'm back in Louisiana…just not as hot."

"Either way, I hate it," Brooke muttered. She was huddled on the floor in the corner of the bleachers, halfway hidden underneath them. She hated water, especially rain, as it always made her feel cold, so she was huddled up with her jacket zipped-up, hood on her head, and had shoved herself between Kenny and Tweek. Kenny's puffy parka helped to add a little more warmth and Tweek's almost constant shivering gave off some heat, too. "Sniper won't go outside, either," she said.

"Mm, yes," Lucy mused. "I had to move my things from the shed and into the house for fear of water damage. Our yard is also collecting quite a bit of water."

"AGH!" Tweek pulled at his hair. "It's the end of the world, I just KNOW it!"

"No it's not," Brooke rolled her eyes. "Trust me, I would know."

"That would be a lot of paperwork…" Lucy mumbled to herself.

"All of this rain just came out of nowhere, too," Kyle said. "All of the meteorologists are stumped where it came from, why, and when it'll stop."

"That's exactly why I started building a boat," Cartman told him. "It's almost complete. I just need a few more nails…"

"Oh," Kenny said. "I found a bunch of nails laying around on the floor in my attic. A lot of them are pretty rusty, though."

Lucy gave him a weird look but didn't say anything.

"Yeah," Craig sat on the other side of Tweek. "Stripe's been freaking out since it started."

"Who?" Brooke looked over at him.

"Stripe's my guinea pig."

"Aw," she said, "cute. I can't have guinea pigs."

"You're allergic?"

"No. My python, Mimsy, likes to eat them."

Craig made a disturbed face.

"Yeahhhh," she sighed. "She REALLY likes those guys."

"I've noticed that the animals have been acting strange since it began," Lucy said. "Though, they have a special sense for these kinds of things, so it's to be expected. Still…"

"What are you thinking?" Kyle asked.

"Well, it could be any number of phenomena, but being a werewolf AND an Oracle, I too have a sense for these things."

"You don't think it's a natural occurrence?"

"No. I do not. There is a familiar feeling to it, but…different."

Cartman scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Well, that tells us SO much!"

"Shut up, fat ass!" Kyle snapped.

Lucy, as usual, was unfazed by Cartman's remark. Instead, she scolded Kyle for his choice of language.

"Cartman," Stan said. "Aren't you still worried about Trent?"

"Oh yeah," Kyle said. "He didn't get to you yet. I wonder what he's waiting for," he muttered darkly.

"THAT'S why I got a taser," Cartman told them. "For when he DOES come." He glanced around nervously.

Once school had ended for the day, the boys encountered Brooke arguing with Lucy off to the side of the entranceway.

"Princess, you can't just do that right now," Lucy hissed between her teeth.

"But I don't want to get wet! You know I DESPISE rain!"

She looked a bit flustered. "W-Well, can't you wait until everyone has gone?"

"That'll take forever!"

"Why will it take forever?" Kyle asked.

"Look outside," Brooke crossed her arms.

The boys exchanged looks then pushed through the crowd of children that had gathered at the front doors. Outside was flooded, the water reaching all the way up to the top step just before the double doors.

"Damn," Darren remarked. "Where was the flashflood warning?"

"God damnit!" Cartman stamped his foot. "I gotta get home and finish my boat!" He pulled out his cellphone and dialed a number. "Mommmm, can you come get me? The school is flooding."

"Looks like the whole town is flooding," Stan looked around.

As Cartman wandered off on the phone, the others went back inside to join the girls. Riley and Butters had joined up with them as well, Butters looking quite nervous while Riley listened curiously to Brooke.

"I'm not going out there," she was saying. "Especially if I have to SWIM! I wanted to get one of my servants to come get me, but Lucy was fussing because of all the people around."

"The Council has already given you a final warning about forcing the guards to come here," Lucy told her.

"Pssh," she rolled her eyes. "Then let's just go where there aren't any people!"

Lucy sighed. "Very well."

"Uh, can I come?" Kenny asked.

"Me too!" Darren ran over. "I don't feel like swimming today."

Stan, Kyle, Riley, and Butters also gathered closer to Brooke.

She looked at Riley. "Well, of course YOU can! We live in the same house!"

He smiled and laughed a little.

She smirked at him. "And yes, the rest of you can, too. Come on, let's go to the gym."

Brooke shot a quick glance around as they entered the gym, making sure that no one else was there. "Pixie, Poppy, Javansky, Puff, Tiger, June Bug!"

Six pygmy dragons appeared each as their name was called. Two of them were familiar but the other four were strangers to the boys. All of them were colorful and cute. They all bowed to her.

"Princess!" Pixie smiled brightly. "My favorite person!"

"How can we all be of service?" the smaller red and black female known as Poppy spoke in a soft voice.

"It's flooding outside," Brooke told them. "I just need one of you to bring Lucy, Riley, and myself to our house. The rest of you I'd like to bring my friends to their homes."

"Ooh!" Pixie jumped into her arms. "I will escort the Princess!"

The other dragons made disappointed noises, aside from patient little Poppy. Pixie stuck his pointed pink tongue out at them.

"Then," Poppy turned to Kenny. "I will escort the Princess's favorite human."

He blushed. "Uh, thanks?"

"Ooh," Darren scooped up a yellow dragon covered with jagged black stripes. "I wanna go with this guy!"

"My name is Tiger," he growled but made no attempt to free himself from the boy's grasp.

Butters nervously approached a light blue one that had a teal underbelly and horns. "Hello!" the creature smiled. "Name's Javansky!"

Butters smiled and picked him up. "Aw, they're so soft."

A tiny gray, extra fluffy one hopped over to Stan and peered up at him with round yellow eyes. "I'm Puff! I'm six years old!" Puff was noticeably much smaller than the others.

Stan stared at him, trying not to smile like a fool. "You…are so cute."

"Well," the last one said. She was green with a tint of blue in her feathers and jet-black horns and claws. She looked over at Kyle. "I guess it's you and me, kid."

"Is everyone holding or at least touching their dragon?" Brooke asked.

Kenny bent down to carefully pick up Poppy. "Yeah!"

"Okay –"

"Wait," Stan said. "…Can I keep this one?"

She stared at him. "No. But you can play with him when you get home."

"Okay, cool."

"All right," she said. "See you guys later. Oh, and thank you my little cuties!" she added to the dragons who all wriggled cutely from the praise.

.

"Princess," Pixie said as Brooke settled on her bed. An hour or so had passed since he had brought her home. He had just suddenly returned to her for some reason and jumped up beside her. "I'm not sure if all this rain is related, but we've gotten reports today about how Airavata appears to have vanished."

She looked at Lucy, who was sitting at the desk in the corner. "Didn't you mention a few days ago that he was supposedly acting strange?"

"Yes," she replied. "Residents of the sky district were reporting his odd behavior. They were saying that he had become irritable and wild."

"So," Brooke turned back to Pixie. "You're saying this rain could be from him?"

He nodded. "It could, yes. No one currently knows where he disappeared to. Personally, I find it odd that he would come here, of all places…"

"Then let's go look around." She sighed. "I was really hoping not to get wet today."

"Actually," Lucy said. "It sounds like the rain has finally stopped."

Brooke scooted across her bed to look out the window. "Huh. It has. But – OH MY GOD!"

"What?! What is it?" Lucy hurried over to look and gasped at the sight. The water outside had reached just below the window, and they were on the second floor… "My goodness! If it's not Airavata, then it must be SOME water deity!"

"We need to get out there and figure out what's caused this," Brooke said. She glanced back at Sniper who was hiding in the closet. "Don't worry boy, you can stay here."

"We'll have to go out the window," Pixie said. "Downstairs is surely flooded."

"You guys!" Riley suddenly burst into the room. "I just went to go get a snack but there's water all the way up to the top of the stairs!"

"Damn," Brooke clicked her tongue. "Yeah, the whole town's flooded. Look and see."

He went over to her side to look outside. "Holy crap! Uh…I-I don't know how to swim."

"Hm," she slid the window open and leaned out to look around. "I guess Cartman's boat wasn't such a crazy idea… Lucy, what are your thoughts on calling some kelpies?"

"Normally, I would say it's a bad idea out in public, but… We don't seem to have any other choice."

"What's a kelpie?" Riley asked.

"It's a water horse," Brooke told him. "Normally, they get people to ride on their back and then drown them, but I have a few tamed ones at the castle."

"Oh!" he squeaked. "Great."

"Don't worry. My kelpies are sweethearts. Pixie, could you fetch three of my lovely water steeds, please?"

"Certainly!" He poofed away.

After a few minutes, a spiked sail like the dorsal fin of some large fish lifted from the water's surface and knifed smoothly through the water towards them, followed by two more in its wake. Once they neared the window, the sails dipped beneath the surface before three large horse heads lifted out of the water to greet them. They shook their heads, snorting and whinnying excitedly at seeing their master.

"Aw, who's my good boys," Brooke reached out and scratched their chins.

Riley cautiously peered over to look at them. They did, in fact, appear to be aquatic versions of horses. They had the front halves of a horse's body but the back halves were what he imagined a mermaid's tail would look like. They also had spiked sails on their backs that folded down, and similar spiked fins on either side of their heads. They were an aquatic shade of blue-green with black manes laced with seaweed and shells, and slits just behind their jaw bones that he assumed were gills.

He watched Brooke remove her shoes and socks then climb out the window onto the nearest one's back, sitting just below its shoulders. She made a face as the water covered her legs. "Oh well, at least I get to play with my horses. Are you staying with Sniper, or are you coming with us?"

Riley hesitated. He was worried about Butters, but he didn't know how to swim, nor did he know how to ride a horse. Much less an aquatic one. "I want to…"

"Well, then get on a kelpie," she told him. "I promise, Riley, they'll make sure to keep your head above the water unless you tell them to dive for something."

One of the horses swam closer and turned to the side to present its back for him. He carefully placed his feet out and sat on the windowsill, steeling himself, then finally jumped off and onto the horse. The kelpie seemed a bit surprised at first, throwing its head up with a snort, but it quickly recomposed itself and swam forward to move beside Brooke's kelpie. She was trying to hold back her amusement at seeing Riley clinging tightly to the creature's neck.

"I'm trusting an animal with my life," he said aloud to himself. "An animal that is known to drown people…"

"Hey," Brooke pointed at him. "Animals are awesome. Besides, these are monster animals."

"That doesn't make me feel better."

"Relax, you'll make him nervous."

"HIM? What about ME?"

"I just said, _relax_."

Lucy had joined them on the back of the third kelpie. "Let's get going. We need to find who, or what, is responsible for this insane flooding."

"Is it okay if I take this one to go check on Butters?" Riley asked.

"You mean your boyfriend?" Brooke smirked. "Yeah, go ahead. His name is Calypso, by the way."

Unsure of how to get it to move, Riley grabbed a fistful of the horse's mane and gently but firmly tugged it to the side. Following the motion, the kelpie swung its head in the same direction and began to swim away from the group. He rode the kelpie over to Butters' house, using its mane to guide it around to the other side where Butters' room was, then pulled back on its mane to get it to stop beside the window. He knocked on the window.

Butters hurried over and pushed it open. "Riley! You got a horse!"

"It's…not mine."

"You stole a horse?"

"What? No! It belongs to Brooke."

"Oh, that explains why it looks part fish…sorta."

"Where are your parents?" Riley asked.

"In the attic, trying to find an old inflatable boat."

.

It wasn't long after they set off that the girls encountered Cartman using a set of very long oars to row a big wooden boat across the water. Craig, holding a brown and white guinea pig, Clyde, and Darren were on the boat too, as well as quite a few cats.

"This vessel is actually quite impressive," Lucy remarked as she examined the side of the boat. "You made it in three days?"

"Yup," Cartman ceased rowing to stretch his arms. "I was just going to save myself, but then I saw this cute kitten soaking wet and stuck at the top of a tree poking out of the water…"

"Yeah," Clyde said. "Now, he's picking up every cat he can find."

"A worthy cause," Brooke said.

"Sweet water horses," Darren reached over to pet the face of Brooke's kelpie.

"Too bad you're still wet," Cartman remarked. "Where are you two going anyways?"

"Nowhere, yet. We're just…riding it out."

Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Anyways," Brooke grinned. "You should steer that boat towards the junkyard. Cats like to go after the rats over there."

"We should check on Kenneth, too," Lucy said. "If the two-story houses are halfway under water then their single-story little…shanty has surely turned aquatic."

"KAREN!" Brooke suddenly shouted, startling everyone, including her kelpie. "Go, Draco! GO!"

Her kelpie shook its head with a loud whinny then bolted forward through the water at a remarkable speed.

Riding a kelpie at full speed through the water made the trip to Kenny's house FAR shorter than usual. At first, there didn't appear to be anything there but open water. She probably would have passed it up if the tops of the garbage mounds weren't protruding from the water.

"WHOA!" she pulled back on the mane. Draco halted, thrusting his head back and his thick tail forward, and sent a small wave away from himself. He snorted irritably. "Sorry," Brooke rubbed his neck. She glanced around and spotted two figures sitting on something further off to the left. They seemed to have noticed her and started waving.

"I told you it was Brooke riding a green pony!" Karen jumped to her feet as they approached.

"Are you guys okay?" Brooke asked. They were standing on the very top of the center of the roof which was the only bit of roof left just above the surface.

"If the water gets any higher," Kenny said, "we'll have to climb up the sodosopa ruins." He looked up at the unfinished construction and rebar. "I'm guessing _you _know why the town's flooded?"

"I _might_," she replied with a smile that made him glance at his feet. "I mean, I'm pretty sure, at least. I just…have to find him."

"Who are you looking for?" Karen asked. She was on her hands and knees and reaching one arm out to try and touch the kelpie.

Draco moved a little closer to let her pet him. "I'm looking for an elephant," Brooke said.

Kenny looked bewildered, thinking that she was being sarcastic, but Karen only smiled. "Oh," she said. "I saw a big white elephant yesterday!"

"You did?!" Brooke and Kenny were beside themselves.

"Yeah! I just thought I imagined it. Like the fairies that came to play with me the other day."

"What fairies?" Brooke asked.

"Charles and Lamar," she replied and Brooke flinched very noticeably. "Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Karen, where did you see the elephant?"

"When I got home from school yesterday, I saw him flying over our house."

"Fly- What?" Kenny gave both girls odd looks.

"It was raining so hard, but I could see him really well. He was big, and white like the snow with bird wings."

"So, it IS him!" Brooke said. "Where did he go?"

She pointed away from the town. "Somewhere over there. I lost him in the clouds."

"Brooke," Kenny said. "Why is my sister seeing giant flying elephants?"

"There was only one," Karen told him.

"His name is Airavata," Brooke said. "He's the Lord of the Nether's sky district, and a god or something in the Hindu religion. Not sure how that part happened… Anyways, he creates clouds and rain. Lucy mentioned the other day about him acting strangely and just today, Pixie told me that he went missing."

"Maybe he's sick," Karen suggested.

"Maybe…"

"Hey guys!"

They looked over to see Darren waving at them from a boat full of wet cats.

Cartman stopped rowing as the boat reached them, panting and leaning back to give his arms a break. "Oh god…heavier…now."

"How many cats does this town HAVE?" Clyde pushed one of the cats away from him as it tried to rub against his leg.

"Too many…" Lucy muttered darkly. The constant yowling and meows were beginning to annoy her.

"Oh, Lucy has a water pony, too!" Karen moved to pet the other kelpie.

Cartman finally caught his breath. "Any cats around here?"

"Over on that junk pile," Kenny pointed.

Lucy sighed with great relief as he rowed the boat away and the sounds of cats grew quieter. "Oh, thank Sol."

"Who's Sol?" Karen asked curiously.

She winced. "Er, n-never mind that."

"Lucy," Brooke said. "Karen saw Airavata yesterday."

"Oh! Then we must find him as quickly as possible."

"Can I come?"

They tilted their heads at Karen.

"What?!" Kenny said. "No way!"

"Why not? I want to see the flying elephant."

"No!"

She looked upset.

"He…could be dangerous right now," Lucy soothed. "Then again…"

Kenny shot her a look of mingled confusion and disbelief.

"Er, sorry," she said. "Airavata is usually quite kind towards children, that's all."

"We're children," Brooke said. "But yeah, Lucy has a point. He'd never hurt an innocent little cutie like Karen. Maybe she can help?"

"WHAT?!" he almost fell over.

"We don't have time for this," Lucy told Brooke.

"You're right." She said. "Karen, hop on Crook's back with Lucy. Draco, snatch up Kenny before he figures out what's going on."

In an instant, the kelpie had used the strength from its muscular tail to lunge its front half out of the water and snatch Kenny's parka in its teeth before falling back into the water with a splash. Kenny struggled a bit, startled and confused and now soaked, before he gave up and let himself hang from the kelpie's mouth.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" he said.

Lucy carefully assisted Karen onto the back of her kelpie, having the younger girl sit in front.

Brooke giggled at seeing the boy dangling from the monster horse's teeth. His unenthused expression made it even funnier to her. "Aw, poor Kenny. Do you want to ride on the back?"

"No," he said stubbornly. "I'll just hang here. It's fine!"

She shrugged. "Suit yourself. Let's go, Draco." The kelpie kicked its limbs and pulled itself through the water with powerful muscles.

Meanwhile, Karen was looking very excited to be riding Crook and was smiling brightly. "I've always wanted to ride a pony!"

"Well," Lucy chuckled. "This is a little different, but here you are."

"The big white elephant, is he an angel?"

"Pardon?"

"That's why he's so pretty and has big feathery wings, right? I wonder if my guardian angel actually _does _have wings…? Can angels hide their wings?"

"Er, well, yes they can, but Airavata is…or is he?" Lucy suddenly appeared lost in thought.

"And you two know him?"

"Yeah," Brooke replied. "Um, I'll explain later, okay?"

"Are you really going to tell her?" Kenny looked quizzically over at Brooke.

"Shh, no. I'm hoping she'll forget later. Besides, the guards might have to come after all this mess is sorted out."

The sun was sinking ever closer to the horizon, and they had been traveling across deep water all the while. Finally, as the bottom of the sun touched the distant horizon, they came across a massive formation of closely-knit clouds that was swirling slowly in the shape of a huge dome. They paused to look up at the wall of clouds as flashes of light shone from within.

"Uh, can I ride on the back now?" Kenny peered worriedly up at the formation.

"Only if you give me a kiss," Brooke joked.

He flinched so bad that Draco almost dropped him. "HUH?!"

She laughed. "What? I'm just messing with you."

"O-Oh!"

Draco threw his head to the side, tossing the boy over his shoulder and onto his back behind Brooke. Kenny had to turn himself around to face the correct way. He was already flustered, but being this close behind her made him catch his breath.

"Is the elephant angel in there?" Karen asked.

"If he's not, then I'm stumped," Brooke replied.

They pushed through the clouds and entered the cyclone. The inside was pouring loud, icy rain while lightning clashed overhead and thunder beat their eardrums. It was a dramatic change from outside. Flying up in the center of the storm was a huge, pristine white elephant with broad white wings. A golden bracer decorated either of his magnificent tusks and four legs.

He let out a loud, echoing trumpet at the sight of them. So loud, it could be clearly heard over the storm. Raising his trunk up, he spewed more storm clouds above himself and reared his front limbs up at them.

"Toofaan mein jaane kee himmat kaise huee! Tum Airaavat ke paanee mein doob jaoge!"

"WHAT IS HE SAYING?" Kenny shouted over the rain. The elephant had a voice that boomed louder than the thunder.

"SOMETHING ABOUT DROWNING," Brooke shouted in response.

"WHAT!?" he was shocked.

"I THINK IT WAS A THREAT."

Kenny was horrified.

"LOOK!" Karen pointed. "SOMETHING'S STUCK IN HIS FOOT."

They squinted up through the torrent to see. Sure enough, there was a strange pointed object buried in one of the elephant's front feet.

Airavata flew down at them, head lowered and tusks at the ready. Before he was able to ram them, Lucy had transformed and leapt onto the elephant's face to distract him. Surprised, he threw his head up and stopped mid-charge, the force of his wings almost knocking the others below the water.

"HOLY SHIT!" Kenny barely managed to duck out of the way as one of the broad paws nearly kicked him in the head.

"THERE!" Karen reached out and grabbed the large object protruding from the foot. She tugged at it. "I CAN'T PULL IT OUT!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Kenny shouted.

"HELP ME GET IT!"

He hesitated a moment, but grabbed at the object as Brooke reached over to touch the elephant's skin to try and calm him down.

Airavata thrashed wildly as pain surged through his body from his foot. He was confused, in pain, and a beast was blocking his eyesight. Then, suddenly, he felt a faint wave of calm pass through him. He paused, very briefly, but it gave the others enough time to yank the object free from his foot. With a loud, furious trumpet, he kicked out his feet and beat his wings at the final surge of pain, accidentally knocking something in the water.

Trying not to harm him, Lucy had not been using her claws or fangs to hold on and finally lost her grip, and she fell into the water alongside Karen who had been knocked off the kelpie's back.

"Fuck! KAREN!" Kenny shouted as the rain ceased. He was about to go after her, but the kelpie beat him to it.

Crook dove below the surface the instant he had realized that the girl had been knocked from his back. Mere seconds passed before he returned to the surface with both Karen and Lucy, now returned to human form, clinging to his back.

"Karen!" Kenny gasped. "Are you okay?!"

She coughed a little and held something up. "I got it."

The object was as long as she was tall, pointed and sharp on both ends, and black with a pulsating red glow.

"Wha-" he blinked. "What were you thinking!?"

"I just wanted to help him…"

"You could've been killed!"

"Good job, Karen," Brooke said. She was leaning heavily on Draco's neck.

"Brooke!" Kenny snapped.

"Let me see that," Lucy took the object from Karen. "How odd…"

"She could've gotten hurt or killed!" Kenny was yelling at Brooke.

She glared at him. "You honestly think I'd have brought her if I thought that would happen? Believe it or not, I was watching her the whole time. Even in that flurry of chaos. She just got knocked into the water from the air force from his wingbeat."

"But what if –!"

"Stop yelling at each other!" Karen shouted. She looked very upset.

They stared at her, surprised, then exchanged saddened looks.

Airavata slowly lowered himself near them, attracting their attention. The rain had completely stopped and the clouds had dispersed, and the white elephant looked elegantly divine in the golden light of the sunset.

"Krpaya mujhe maaf karen. Gusse ne mera dimaag hila diya."

"Airavata," Lucy showed him the object that was once lodged in his flesh. "Where did this come from?"

"Mere ghar mein ek buree cheej toot gaee. Mainne use kuchal diya. Vah sab mujhe yaad hai."

"Strange…"

He lowered his massive head to bring his eyes down to Karen's level. "Bahut bahut dhanyavaad. Aap bahut dayaalu hain."

Karen looked over at Brooke for a translation.

"He said 'thank you very much. You are very kind.'"

She smiled and looked back up at the elephant. "You're welcome! I hope you feel better."

"Airavata," Lucy said. "If you don't mind, I would like to speak with you further…after all of this water is removed."

"Haan, haan. Main ise theek kar doonga!"

Brooke glanced over her shoulder at Kenny sitting behind her. "Um, I'm sorry I made you worry about Karen's safety. One of the things Quinzel is always fussing me about is my…compulsiveness."

"Oh. T-That's okay." He had actually thought she'd be mad at him. "You're right. I know you would protect her with your life."

She smiled sweetly at him.

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Airavata is a real-life Hindu god, depicted as a pristine white war elephant with wings. Normally, he's also described as having multiple trunks or heads and more tusks than two but in this story he only has one head, one trunk, and two tusks. He is known to produce clouds and rain and is a water/rain deity. In my story/world he is a Nether monster that (somehow) accidentally became a god to the Hindu people. Lol**


	34. Chapter 34: Wendigo

After Airavata evaporated all of the water back to the clouds, which took almost all night, everyone was able to return to their homes. If it weren't for the mystical elephant's incredible ability to suck away all of the water from everything, the homes and their possessions would have been incredibly damaged. But other than several things being out of place, everything was dry and undamaged.

"Yeah," Trent was telling Brooke in the morning. "I was just chilling downstairs in my room. Well, I had to piss, so I went upstairs, but when I opened the door this big-ass wave of water just burst in and almost drowned me."

"Eheh, yeaaaah. I'm glad you're okay, though."

He shrugged. "Anyways, I'm almost ready to enact my revenge on that fat fuck, Cartman. I had to figure some stuff out and come up with better ideas since I'll have to use him to make up for the others too. You know, since YOU won't let me touch them."

"Uh-huh," she started peeling an orange. "I told you, I don't care what you do to Cartman."

Lucy had not joined them for breakfast, so after eating, Brooke had gone out to the shed to check up on her. She found her inside at the tables in the corner where a bunch of her lab equipment was located. She had the strange splinter from Airavata placed on the tabletop and being held up by a stand with two sets of prongs that allowed the object to balance stably. There was a large magnifying glass positioned near it and several odd tools off to the side. Lucy was writing something in one of her many notebooks.

"So," Brooke said. "Have you figured out what it is?"

"I believe I've figured out where it came from, at least." She finished writing then snapped the book shut and it vanished. She turned to face her. "Its composition is purely dark magic, specifically a similar, or perhaps the same, magic that the Nightmares use."

Brooke winced a little. "You think it came from one of them?"

"I'm almost certainly positive." She picked up a pointed metal tool and used it to tap the splinter. "Obviously, being near it or even touching it doesn't seem to have any effect. I'm thinking that it must need to be imbedded in the flesh to affect the individual. Or perhaps it needs contact with the blood?" She shook her head a little. "It's not something I'm willing to test, however. I plan to have it destroyed today."

"Good," Brooke muttered, eyeing the object with disgust. "Anything that potentially came from a Nightmare should be burned."

"Yes," Lucy agreed. "I'll have a guard pick it up and take it to the fire district so that Vulcan can dispose of it."

.

"Man," Stan was saying as they left school that afternoon. "I was kind of hoping the school would stay flooded for a little while."

"I don't know," Darren said. "I don't like school, but I like it better than having to be around my hoe-ass sisters yelling at each other."

"Sucks for you," Brooke muttered. "Oh yeah, Cartman."

He looked at her.

"Trent says he's almost ready to kick your ass."

He looked frightened for a moment. "Oh yeah? Well, tell him to bring it, bitch! I got a taser!"

"I feel like that'll just piss him off," Darren said. "Like spraying a wasp with a water bottle."

They all stopped walking for a moment to wait to cross an intersection, blissfully unaware of the streetlamp nearby that was beginning to lean until it fell over with a loud clang against the cement and blocked their path.

Kyle stared in shock. The huge metal object had fallen so close in front of him that he thought he felt it brush his nose, then he glanced back and realized that Brooke had grabbed him by his schoolbag and pulled him back a few inches just before it had fallen.

"Shit," she made a face at the pole. "I only had time to grab one of you."

"Huh?"

"Oh my god," Stan pointed at the body crushed beneath the pole. "They killed Kenny!"

Kyle was too shocked to say anything.

"Wha-" Darren blinked. "What the hell?! Why did that just fall!? I freaking hate this town!"

Brooke moved forward as she saw something flit out from beneath the fallen streetlamp and snatched the thing out of the air. At first, the others were confused, thinking she had tried to catch some tiny bug they couldn't see, but as she opened her hands a little, they saw a glowering ball of flame in her grasp.

"Dude," Darren said. "Did you just snatch up his soul?"

She smirked and cupped her hands around it. "Yeah. I feel like messing with Uncle."

"Oh dear," Lucy sighed. "You can't just hold a soul hostage!"

"Pssh, watch me." She opened her hands a little to speak sweetly to the soul. "Besides, you wanna play, too, don't you?"

His soul glowered excitedly and she giggled.

"You guys are so weird," Darren told her.

"Whatever. Go play Black Jack with Mr. Squirrel."

He looked offended.

"Is that how the two of you plan to hang around together this weekend?" Lucy stepped aside as several rats ran past to get to the crushed corpse.

"Yup," Brooke held the soul close to her and jumped over the pole to keep walking.

.

Saturday morning, Riley let Sniper out as he left the house. He figured he might as well, since the dog was staring expectantly at him while waiting by the door as the boy put his shoes on. Brooke would likely appreciate not being woken up early, too.

He watched the dog run around into the backyard, then made his way next door.

"Riley!" Butters smiled as he answered the door.

"Hey Butters," he said. "Um, I know I always tell you to stay away from Locke, but…er, I was thinking of going to check on Jake today, and I came to see if you wanted to come."

"Really?" he was surprised. "Well, sure! Uh, let me just tell my parents that I'm leaving."

"Okay, but like, don't tell them we're going to Locke." He glanced over Butters' shoulder to make sure neither of his parents were nearby. "I mean, you know…"

"Oh, well okay…but what do I tell them?"

"We're just…going for a walk."

He felt bad for having Butters lie to his parents, but he knew they would not allow him to enter the shithole of a city that was Locke. Not that he blamed them, of course. Once Butters had returned, the two of them set out along the sidewalk. Riley was rather surprised when Sniper began to follow them.

"What?" he looked back at the Doberman. "Are you coming, too?"

Sniper wagged his tail and whined.

"Okay. I guess having a big scary dog with us will be a good thing. Less people will bother us." He made a clicking sound with his tongue and the dog happily bounded over to his side.

"I thought he only listened to Brooke?" Butters asked.

"Me too." Riley shrugged. "I guess he'll listen to people she trusts, too."

Riley led the way as they walked across town towards Locke, making sure to give Locke Boulevard a wide birth. It was quite a walk from where they started, and the scenery was dramatically different.

Unlike the majority of South Park, Locke had little to no greenery aside from a few sad-looking trees along some of the sidewalks. There was no grass in the city itself, just concrete and old cracked cobble. There wasn't quite as much snow, either, but there were a lot of water puddles collected in potholes and dips in the roads. It rained pretty often there.

The buildings were also either concrete, brick, or cobblestone, so the city appeared as though it had been abandoned by time and left to fall apart. One large building they passed even had frightening little gargoyles posted at each of its four corners and a tall iron bar fence topped with arrowhead points. Butters appeared frightened by this building and moved himself between Riley and Sniper as they passed it.

There were very few people out in the open; most of the people they saw were loitering about in the alleyways or sitting on the front steps of their homes and duplexes. Butters noticed that he did not see very many adults here. Most of the people they passed were about their age or teenagers. For the most part, no one really paid them any mind, but one man started to follow them from a distance for a while until Sniper stopped to send him a vicious snarl that drove the stranger away. Riley gave Butters' hand a reassuring squeeze as Butters suddenly took hold of his hand and moved closer to him.

After turning down another street, Riley led them across to a wide alleyway where they passed what appeared to be the side or back entrances to some old clubs and abandoned restaurants. At the end of the dark alley was the door of a large brick building where a big lit lantern hanging up beside it was the only light source aside from the bit of sunlight that was able to creep down.

"This is a side entrance to the building Jake lives in," Riley explained. "The main doors are blocked off."

"Why?"

"Well, they're glass and they were boarded up a long time ago when the building was abandoned." He pushed a small button beside the door that sent a buzzing sound throughout the interior of the building then knocked several loud times on the door.

"What if he's not home?" Butters asked after a minute.

Riley shrugged. "He has a…schedule, so he should be."

Butters looked amazed as the top half of the door opened but the lower half remained where it was. Jake peered at them through a gap before fully opening the top half. He leaned on the top of the lower half of the door and smiled.

"Well, well, well! Riles and his little friend!"

"I think we're more than friends now," Butters said and Riley blushed and shifted his feet.

"Oho?" Jake laughed. "What do you mean by that?"

"Shut up," Riley shot Jake a leer that only made him laugh more before a fit of coughing interrupted him. Riley was surprised. "Are you sick?"

"Nah," he cleared his throat. "Just some smoker's cough or whatever. So, what brings ya here? Lookin' for something?"

"We came to check on you," Butters said cheerily.

He tilted his head, smiling serenely at Butters. "Hm? What for?"

"Well, that's what friends do. They check in on each other and visit sometimes."

"Ah." He hopped down from where he was and opened the rest of the door. "Well, if you're visitin', you should probably come inside, yeah? Heya poochie," he scratched Sniper's chin as the dog entered as well.

The inside was dark, with no lights except for the bright LED lantern that Jake had with him. He led them through the short hallway and into a big room where there was a large lit fireplace with two leather couches around it and a matching recliner. There was a long coffee table between the couches and the fireplace with a full ashtray located atop it. Off to one side of the room was a long counter with little filing cabinets in the wall and to the left of the counter was a flight of stairs ascending into darkness.

Jake placed a large wooden block in the fire then went over and sat in the recliner. Riley and Butters sat on the couch adjacent to him while Sniper made himself comfortable in front of the fire.

"This room is cozy," Butters remarked.

Jake smirked at the way Butters was swinging his feet a little off the edge of the couch. "You're so cute. I guess Riley thinks so, too."

"O-Oh! Thanks," Butters blushed.

Riley grunted. "Uh, so…how have things been?"

He shrugged. "Same old, same old. Nothin' exciting or worth mentionin'."

"Do you live here by yourself?" Butters asked.

"I do now. Used to have a couple of people who lived upstairs, but most of 'em left. One of 'em just kinda disappeared."

"That's scary."

"If you say so. Kinda boring actually, ya know?"

"Yeah… So, what do you do for fun?"

"Fun?" he chuckled. "I dunno. All I do is work. Other than that, I mess around with my stock, keep inventory, and sleep. What do you do?"

"Oh, I do lots of stuff! I like to play games, and dress up my little minions…"

"What are minions?"

"Hamsters," Riley answered.

"Ooh," Butters continued. "And I like to draw."

"Draw? Riley's into art, too."

Riley blinked. "I…didn't know that you knew that."

"Really? I'm sure you've mentioned it before… Ah, well, whatever. Say, how's life not getting your ass kicked all the time?"

He might have been offended by that remark if it was anyone other than Jake. "Great," he replied. "The people I live with are really nice. Uh, except Trent, I guess. But he's not so bad either. The girls really treat me like part of their family."

"Wow, how many people do you live with?"

"The…_parents_, two girls, Brooke and Lucy, and now there's a guy named Trent in the basement."

Jake laughed a little.

"Oh, and Brooke has a bunch of pets."

"Neat," Jake smiled brightly. "So, you've got two real parents, two sisters, and a…brother?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess so."

"Nice and warm and safe, and no one tries to hurt you?"

"Yeah. Well, Trent threatened me over cereal this morning, but it's fine."

"Ha! Sounds like a real family. I mean, not that I would now. So, what? They just adopt everyone?"

"Well, sort of… I mean, none of us are actually related, so…"

"Heh, well, I'm glad it all worked out for you." He leaned back in the chair. "You always deserved something good."

Riley felt touched by that remark, but also suddenly very sad. Why wouldn't Jake think that way about himself for once? There was literally nothing keeping him trapped here. Riley had actually tried the other day to offer for him to join them, but he politely refused. Jake may be friendly and smiles, but Riley knew better. He had seen a side of Jake that no one else even knew about. He had seen this boy go through serious depression and fits of panic and tears for seemingly no reason. He felt even worse that he had never acknowledged or even realized just how much he cared about Jake. They had been friends the whole time, but Riley only just realized it.

"Yeah," Riley said. He was looking directly at Jake now. "I think they'd like you a lot, too."

"Riles…" Jake looked away. He suddenly looked sad, almost fearful, actually.

"They would," he told him. "They wouldn't abandon you, either."

Jake suddenly looked up at him with a very startled expression, but he quickly hid it away under an awkward smile and a fake laugh. "I-I'm sure…"

That was it, Riley thought. He was too afraid of being abandoned again. Jake had a secret fear. He didn't want to accept the offer because he didn't want to get close to anyone just to be abandoned like when he was younger. Riley felt sick all of a sudden. Did Jake think that he had abandoned him, too?

"Well," Jake stood up. His voice shook and he tried to clear his throat but starting coughing violently again. "I-I'm fine," he stepped away when Riley got up to help him. "Ahem, well…I-I gotta get goin' soon. You know, work."

He noticed that he was grasping at his chest as if in pain or something. "Wait," Riley handed him a folded piece of paper. "It's, uh, my phone number. I mean, I know you don't have a phone, but if you ever pass one of those old payphones or something… You know, if…you ever need something."

"I –" he stared at the paper for a moment before taking it and smiling. "Thanks."

Jake accompanied them back to the split door and was noticeably surprised when Riley hugged him before they left.

"I'll see you later," Riley said.

"Y-Yeah."

.

Sunday afternoon, Darren had gone over to Brooke's and found her laying in her bed and lightly bouncing the bluish-white flame in the air. "You're still hoarding Kenny's soul?" he asked.

"So? Technically, all souls belong to me before they're judged."

"I thought his soul belonged to your uncle?"

"Illegally!"

He winced. "O-Okay! When are you going to let him go?"

"He can go whenever he wants," she told him, sitting up as she caught the soul one last time. She let him out of her hand to flit around the room. "He just won't."

"What? Why not?" Darren watched him fly around and accidentally bump into a lamp with a little 'ting' sound.

Brooke shrugged. "He's clingy."

The soul made a strange sound in response and flared up for a split second.

"Well, you are," she said.

"Right," Darren said and turned to leave. "I'll just leave you two weirdos alone then."

"Remember," Brooke said as he left. "Tomorrow is show-and-tell at school."

Darren had left her house in time to see Kyle and Stan walking by and went over to join them. "Hey. What are you guys doing?"

"We were going check out what they have for sale at the Gamestop," Stan replied. "Wanna come?"

"Hell yeah I do!"

"What was Brooke doing?" Kyle asked.

"Playing with Kenny's soul."

"Still?"

"She said he won't leave."

"Weirdos."

"That's what I said!"

A white van suddenly pulled up beside them and came to a stop as the window rolled down. Inside was Charles, and Lamar was in the passenger seat.

"Heyyyy!"

"Heeeyyyyyy!"

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Stan asked.

"And how'd you get a van?" Kyle added.

"We found it in the Walmart parking lot!" Lamar said.

"I hotwired it!" Charles smiled.

"So, you…stole a van?"

"Yeah!" they both cheered.

"You guys want a ride?" Lamar asked.

"No way!" Stan said. "We're not getting in a creepy stolen van!"

"Oh," Lamar said. "I guess they don't want to go to Taco Bell with us."

"Hold up," Darren held his hands out. "Guys…Taco Bell."

"We're going to Gamestop," Kyle told him sternly.

"We can stop there, too," Charles said.

"Taco Bell, guys," Darren repeated. "Taco Bell."

Stan and Kyle exchanged glances before rolling their eyes and giving in. The banshees unlocked the backdoor to allow the kids inside.

"Ew," Darren remarked as they got inside. "The inside is kinda gross. Is that a used condom!?"

The kids clustered together in the furthest corner away from the object on the floor.

"I immediately regret this," Kyle said, feeling his skin crawl at the idea of all the germs around him.

"Too bad!" Lamar said. "Charles, punch it!"

The boys fell over each other as the banshee floored it and the van took off at high speed down the street. The ride was excessively bumpy and hectic. They had no idea how long the ride was until the van finally slowed to a stop.

"Huh," Charles hit the accelerate a few times but the vehicle only made a pathetic sound in response and remained where it was. "Outta gas."

"What?!" Stan jumped up. "Where are we?!"

"In the mountains!"

"WHAT?!"

"You were supposed to take us to Taco Bell!" Darren shouted.

"I was taking a shortcut."

"IN THE MOUNTAINS!?"

"Yeah. You know, 'through the woods and over the hills' – oh, wait. That's how you get to _grandma's _house."

"No, no, no," Lamar shook his head. "It's over the hills and THEN through the woods."

"Ohhhh. Whoops."

"Are you guys crazy?!" Kyle snapped. "You got us stranded in the woods on a mountain?!"

"In the dark!" Lamar added.

"It's already dark out!?"

"Wow," the banshee laughed. "Sucks for you guys! Bye!" Both banshees vanished.

"Those ASSHOLES!" Stan yelled.

"Hey, where are you going?" Darren asked as Kyle opened the backdoor.

"I don't care how cold it is outside, I'm NOT spending the night in a stolen van with a used condom!"

"That's fair." He and Stan followed him outside.

They carefully made their way down the slope and into the woods, heading in the direction of town. Kyle was starting to think twice about walking through the woods at night. Every sound made him jump and turn to look for the source.

"I'm hungry," Darren complained.

"Maybe we should stop and make a fire for the night," Stan suggested. "Otherwise, we might get lost. …Either of you know how to make a fire?"

"I know from Jew Scouts," Kyle replied.

"Jew Scouts?" Darren huffed.

He shot him a glare. "Yeah?"

"N-Nothing! Nothing. Just…didn't know that was a thing."

After gathering up some materials, Stan and Darren sat to watch Kyle try to start a fire. There was a strange screech from somewhere far off that caused Kyle to jump and drop the sticks. "What was that?!"

"Aw," Darren snapped. "How are we supposed to get a fire going if you keep dropping the stuff every damn time you hear a noise?!"

"But what the hell kind of animal screeches like that?!"

"Just start the fire, I'm fucking freezing!"

"Okay, stop yelling!"

Finally, he managed to get a decent fire going and they huddled around it. Stan was sitting with his knees tightly pulled up to his chest to try and conserve heat while he gazed absently at the fire. Kyle was nervously glancing around, frightened by every little noise. While Darren, who was very hungry now, was glaring at the others from across the fire and debating on which of them he should eat first if it came to it.

The odd screech sounded again, this time it was incredibly close. "There it is again!" Kyle jumped to his feet. The others got to their feet as well.

"Well, maybe if you stopped SHOUTING!" Darren snapped.

"ME?!"

"Uh, guys…" Stan tried to get their attention but they were too busy arguing.

Something stomped out from behind a tree, rustling a bush as it moved.

"Not now Mr. Squirrel- Oh my god," Darren and the others stared wide-eyed up at the creature.

It was a bipedal beast with hooved feet that stood about eight or nine feet tall, not counting the set of antlers on its head. It looked like some kind of decaying, zombie deer man with glowing red eyes and sharp fangs and long claws on its fingertips.

"Guys," Stan whimpered. "What the hell is that?"

"Mr. Squirrel says that's a Wendigo," Darren replied.

"This is no time for your stupid squirrel jokes!" Kyle snapped.

"It's not a joke!"

The monster let out a loud roar, like a mix of a deer's bellow and a man's scream.

The boys screamed and ran away. They hurriedly climbed up a tree and clung to its trunk, hoping they had climbed high enough.

"Do you see it?" Kyle asked.

"No," Stan replied. "Do you think we lost it? What do we do?"

"Hold on," Kyle pulled a small pocketbook out of his coat pocket. "Lucy gave me this little field guide to common monsters in this area…"

"Common?!"

"Why didn't she give ME one?" Darren asked.

Kyle blushed a little. "W-Well, we were just, you know, hanging out and – and she gave it to me. A-Anyways. You called it a Wendigo?"

"That's what Mr. Squirrel said."

Kyle shot him a brief glare but continued looking through the book. "Ah, here! A Wendigo. Let's see… 'Thought by Native Americans to be the result of a man who resorted to cannibalism…'"

"Well, shit," Darren muttered to himself.

"'Highly volatile, with an insatiable hunger for human flesh…'"

"That's not helpful!" Stan said. "What are the weaknesses?"

"I don't know, it doesn't say! I just says, 'avoid at all costs.'"

"Oh, well that's REAL helpful!"

"Wait," Darren pulled a fork out of his pocket. "I've got an idea!"

"You're gonna fight it with a fork?"

"Monsters are vulnerable to silver, right? Silverware?"

"I thought that was only werewolves," Kyle said.

"Guys," Stan interrupted. "It found us!"

The wendigo was peering up at them from beneath the tree. They were just barely out of its reach. Darren let out a loud, bizarre, war cry and chucked the fork at the monster. The utensil bounced harmlessly off the wendigo's snout.

"Huh," Darren said. "Must've been stainless steel."

It blinked, then roared up at them. They screamed as it began to shake the tree.

"Hey, guys. We're back – Oh," Lamar had popped out of the ground with Charles beside him. "Uh, what are you guys doing?"

"What does it LOOK like we're doing?!" Kyle screeched.

"It LOOKS like your losing a game of hide-and-seek with Billi."

"Billi?!"

The wendigo stopped shaking the tree and looked over its shoulder at the banshees. "Oh," it said in a very calm voice. "It's you guys."

"It can talk," Kyle said breathlessly, almost collapsing as the feeling in his legs left him.

"Billi!" Charles said. "What are you doing?! What's the Princess gonna say if you eat her human friends?"

The wendigo looked surprised. "Oh! These are some of the kids the Princess likes? Oh gee, my bad…"

Darren shrugged. "Eh, no biggie." He and Stan slid down from the tree and landed in the snow below.

Lamar laughed. "I can't believe you dummies saw a monster and didn't think to mention you were friends with the Princess! Haha!"

They exchanged awkward looks. "Eh…yeah."

"Hey, Kyle," Darren called up the tree. "You going to stay up there all night?"

"He was about to EAT us!"

"Oh, get over it! It was an honest mistake."

Billi scratched at his cheek. "Er, you guys aren't gonna tell the Princess that I almost ate you, are ya?"

"Nah," Darren smiled up at him. "It's all good, man."

"Yeah," Stan shrugged. "At least we're alive, I guess."

"Yeah," Lamar nodded. "We went back to get you guys, but you weren't there! So, we followed the sound of pitiful screaming."

"Why did you leave us in the first place?!" Stan snapped at them.

"We had to get the magic sack!" Charles held up a brown sack. "You know, to take you guys home!"

"…Oh."

"Well," Darren said. "You could've freaking mentioned that before you just vanished."

"Whatever," Charles snorted. "Just get in the sack."

"Oh, first," Darren turned back to the wendigo. "Do cannibals actually turn into you guys?"

"What? No," Billi told him. "That's just a human myth. I was born like this."

"Oh, cool. Okay, we can go now."

**To be continued…**

* * *

**Lol**


	35. Chapter 35: Dog Talk

**A short, random chapter for fun. Lol, enjoy**

* * *

All day throughout school, when she was not in class, Lucy was fiddling with some strange loop-shaped object and not paying attention to the others' antics. She only looked up from the thing if someone spoke to her directly, and that's only if she heard her name.

"Lucy," Kyle attracted her attention during recess. "What is that thing?"

"Hm? Oh, this is a special collar I've been working on for Sniper. I've been researching the thought processes of various animals and wanted to compare them to the thought process of a monster animal. Sniper is very intelligent, but he is still a dog. Anyways, this collar will translate his thoughts into a voice we can understand."

"Like Up?" Darren asked.

"What?"

"That movie, Up. With the talking dogs."

She made a face. "Eh, I don't know what you are referring to."

"Do you not watch movies or TV? I mean, you have a TV in your she-shed."

She shook her head disapprovingly. "I don't have time for such a useless activity."

Darren shifted awkwardly. "Oh."

"So, Brooke," Kenny asked. "Why doesn't Trent come to school?"

Cartman looked over nervously from where he was standing a few feet away.

She shrugged. "He says he won't because school is where he lost everything."

"Your…_not_ parents don't try to make him go?"

"No. They mostly just exist at this point. Eh, their brains are pretty scrambled from all the brainwashing."

"That's fucked up."

"Yeah," Darren agreed. "Those poor people have no idea."

"What?" Kenny gave him an odd look. "No! It's fucked up that Trent doesn't have to go to school but WE do!"

"What the hell does Trent do all day?" Stan asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "He works out a lot. Not sure how he got all that big exercise equipment down there… Sometimes he plays with Sniper in the backyard. He's the only human Sniper doesn't have to hold back with during tug-o-war."

"They've ruined the yard…" Lucy muttered.

"Yeah. Oh, when we're home, sometimes he hangs around with me."

Kenny looked bothered by that. "What for?"

"I mean, why not? He's great. It's like having a big angry gorilla that I can get to open stuff that's too tight or carry heavy stuff for me."

Darren laughed, but the other boys looked a bit frightened by that comparison.

"He just…does whatever you want?" Cartman asked.

She tilted her head a little at him. "Well, I ask him to, but…yeah."

"More like whine," Lucy muttered again.

"Lucy," Brooke looked at her. "Your sass is like silver needles poking into my ego. Stop."

"The Princess shouldn't whine," she scolded.

"Whine?" Darren looked to Lucy.

"Like yesterday," Lucy explained. "She couldn't open a jelly jar for her sandwich, so '_Trennnt_, _can you open this, pleeease?_'"

Darren bit his lip, smirking.

"Oh, whatever!" Brooke huffed.

"How can YOU not open a jar?" Kyle asked her.

"She CAN," Lucy slapped the collar down. "She just WON'T because he'll do everything FOR her!"

Brooke rolled her eyes. "You're just jealous."

"Jea- What?! You're taking advantage of him and being lazy!"

"No I'm not!"

"But," Stan said. "She's a Princess. Isn't that, like, what she does?"

"NO!" Lucy snapped and Stan almost fell over from shock.

Darren was laughing, even more so now because of Kenny's offended expression upon hearing how Brooke talked to Trent.

"That's kind of weird, though," Kyle said. "Like, why does he? Is it because he's afraid of her? …Or does he like her?"

Kenny looked even more offended, and Darren almost choked on his own saliva he was laughing so much.

Lucy recomposed herself and apologized to Stan before replying to Kyle. "Nothing like that, no. He's a brute, but he's actually rather kind towards certain people it seems. So long as you don't cross him, that is."

Cartman looked lost. "Trent…kind? You're joking, right?"

"As I said, so long as you don't cross him."

"Anyways," Brooke said. "Are you guys coming over after school to hear Sniper talk?"

"Hell yeah!" Darren smiled.

"Nope," Cartman said.

"I wasn't actually inviting YOU… Pussy."

He made a face.

.

After school, they met up with Brooke and Lucy along the sidewalk on their way home. Cartman had not joined them, doing his best to avoid Trent, and was instead replaced by Butters and Riley. They followed the girls all the way to their house and around to the backyard where they found Trent and Sniper playing tug-o-war.

Lucy made a disapproving face at the sight of the tilled and gashed soil across the yard.

Aside from Darren and Riley, the boys stopped where they were, too afraid to get any closer to the brutish boy. Butters panicked a little, but seemed to remember something and joined up with them at Riley's side and relaxed.

"Enough!" Lucy fussed.

Trent and Sniper looked over at her, a little surprised, then both released the rope at the same time, letting it fall to the ground. "What?" Trent asked.

"You two BRUTES are absolutely DESTROYING the yard!"

They both looked around at the mess. "Oh," Trent said. "Our bad."

"Yes, it is. Sniper, come!"

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny all looked at each other. They were stunned at the way Lucy scolded Trent, and even more stunned at his nonchalant response, having expected him to react more aggressively. The most surprising part to them, however, was the fact that the boy seemed to be paying them no real mind. Instead, he was focused on Brooke as she went over, smiled up at him, and began to carry out a casual conversation about their day. Actually, Kenny quickly went from frightened to annoyed at seeing how friendly she was with him.

Noticing his reaction, Darren decided to mess with Kenny. "Oh, Brooke," he said loudly. "You're pretty fond of Trent, huh?"

"Of course I am," she shot him a leer. "What's your point?"

"Uh," he winced. "N-Nothing."

"There." Lucy had finished fitting the new collar on Sniper's neck. "How does it feel?"

He barked. "Perfect!"

They all turned their attention immediately to the dog after hearing his gruff voice. "Oh, sweet!" Stan smiled excitedly.

"Now I can communicate with the squishy humans," Sniper wagged his tail.

"Squishy?" Kyle echoed.

"Master!" the dog ran over to Brooke. "I speak!"

"Yes, you do," she said in a cutesy voice to the scary dog and scratched his ears. "That's my good boy!"

"Yes. I am the best good boy!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Perfect, indeed," Lucy smiled and wrote something down in a notebook. "I'll be right back." She left to go inside the shed for something.

"Now I can speak to Kyle," Sniper looked at him.

"Me?" he was surprised.

"Yes." The dog's words were short and quick. "You are my favorite human to receive pets from. Pet me!" he barked suddenly.

Kyle jumped from the loud sound and reached his hand out to pet the dog's back.

"Yes. Good pets! Now STOP!"

The boy immediately withdrew his hand.

"I see the way you watch Lucy," Sniper told him.

His face pinkened and he glanced around. "W-What?! What do you mean?"

"You have a strong interest in her," he barked, his tail wagging.

Kyle's face flushed a darker shade of red as the others chuckled; except for Trent, who only watched silently. "O-Okay, I do! So what?"

"Why don't you just tell her?" Darren shrugged. He took notice of Kenny shifting awkwardly beside him. "What's the worse that could happen? She rejects you? What if she doesn't?"

"But if she does, then it'll be super awkward! I…I like being friends with her. I don't want to mess that up."

"Your confidence is lacking," Sniper told him.

"Yeah, I know." Kyle said firmly.

"Then do something about it!"

He jumped away from the dog. "L-Like what?"

"The first step to being confident, is pretending that you are," the dog said with a curt nod. "You can be subtle, too, but you need confidence to do that as well."

"Yeah, Kyle," Darren smiled. "You could try to subtly make it more obvious to Lucy that you're into her."

"Oh yeah?" he eyed him suspiciously. "How?"

"Get her a stick," Sniper stated, looking quite proud of himself. "Bitches love sticks."

Brooke made a strange huffing sound, as if all the air had suddenly expelled from her lungs in an instant. She bit her knuckles, trying not to laugh at what her dog had just said.

"What?!" Kyle flinched. "Don't call her that!"

Sniper tilted his head. "Oh, I forgot. Humans don't use that term properly."

"Uh," Brooke raised her hand a little to get the boys' attention. She was smirking. "Bitch is the term for a female dog."

"Ohhhhh," they said simultaneously. Again, Trent only observed silently.

"Well what the heck is a stick gonna do for me?" Kyle asked animatedly.

"You give your favorite stick to the female to show you like her," Sniper told him. "Rolling over to expose your belly also shows that you trust her."

"That's DOG stuff!"

"Better than what you've been doing," Darren told him. "Which is nothing. What do you think, Brooke?"

She snickered. "Uh, I mean, sure. She IS a werewolf, after all."

Kyle looked worried for a moment. "Oh, well…all right then." He went to pick up a stick on the ground.

"Not that one!" Sniper snapped his jaws at the boy's hand. "That's mine! Here," he pranced over to the big tree in the center of the yard and picked up a large stick to bring to him. "I was going to chew this one today, but it would make a good gift."

"Uh, thanks?" he carefully took the stick from the dog's mouth.

Momentarily after, Lucy exited the shed with a clipboard in her hand. "That took a bit longer than I had hoped," she was saying. "Some of my things are still out of place from Airavata's rampage."

"Hey, uh, Lucy," Kyle approached her.

"Yes?"

He glanced down at the big stick in his hand then thrust it towards her. "H-Here you go."

She flinched a tiny bit and stared at for a long moment before taking it in her other hand. "Um, thank you?"

The others bit their lips, trying not to burst with laughter, as Kyle laid down on his back on the ground. Trent only made a weird face that was a mix of confusion and annoyance.

Lucy blinked and leaned forward to peer down at him quizzically. "Kyle, what…are you doing? Are you injured?"

He stared up at the sky, feeling very stupid and also annoyed that he had taken advice from a dog and that his friends let him. "No," he squeaked out.

"Oh." She looked a bit worried. "Well, you shouldn't lay in the snow like that. You'll get wet and cold."

"Right." Kyle got up suddenly and started walking away. "I'm going home."

"W-Wait for me, Kyle!" Stan laughed a little and hurried after him.

"Fuck you, dude!"

Lucy watched him leave then gave the stick in her hand a very odd, confused look. "What in the world…?"

"I feel so bad," Brooke muttered out the corner of her mouth to Riley. "But that was so funny."

Sniper shook his head disapprovingly. "Lacking!"

"Well, that was unbearable to watch," Trent finally spoke. "McCormick!"

Kenny almost jumped a whole foot in the air. "HUH?!"

"You know where Cartman is?"

"N-No."

"Whatever," he clicked his tongue. "I'll find him. Today is the day." He punched the palm of his other hand and cracked his knuckles.

"Okay that's cool!" Kenny said really fast and scooted closer to Brooke.

Brooke smiled and waved as Trent stomped past them. "Be back before dinner! Not-Mom's making fajitas!"

He stopped near the exit of the yard and pointed at her. "I will be back for the fajitas," he said sternly then turned and continued on his way.

"Man," Darren said. "That guy means business."

**To be continued…**


	36. Chapter 36: Pride of the Nether

"So, what's it like having a dog that talks now?" Stan asked the next day as they left school.

"Entertaining, for one," Brooke replied. "Except, this morning he woke me up early shouting, 'I have to pee!' until I got up to let him outside. Not that it's really much different from when he does the same thing but barks until I get up. I'm not sure which one I find more obnoxious."

"Right, that's cool," Darren said. "But can we talk about the fact that Cartman wasn't at school today? And how yesterday, Trent left to go get his revenge?"

"He came back for the fajitas," Brooke stated rather nonchalantly.

"Did he explain anything? Like, did he say what he did to him?"

Lucy looked very disapproving of Darren's eagerness over the subject.

"Oh, yeah," Brooke said. "Er, something about siracha sauce and a bicycle."

"What?"

"Now all two-hundred and eight bones in Cartman's body are broken…yet somehow he's still alive…" she looked displeased. "Anyways, he'll be in the hospital for a while."

"Wait," Kyle said. "The human body only has two-hundred and SIX bones."

"Yes, well," Lucy smoothed her velvety coat. "Apparently, there were two extra bones shoved inside of him for the sole purpose of breaking them. Eh, the details are…disturbing."

"Dude, sick," Stan said.

"That could've been us!" Kyle said to Stan and Kenny.

"Maybe you should apologize," Lucy mentioned.

"What good is that going to do?! He'll still hate us and wish horrible things upon us!"

"Nonsense."

"Yes sense!"

"You guys are cute," Brooke smiled as she unlocked the front door to her house.

They followed her inside; Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were surprised to see Trent sitting on the couch in the living room and watching the TV. He seemed to usually spend his time downstairs. He barely spared them a glance and said nothing to them, instead, he watched as Brooke threw her schoolbag away in the corner before throwing herself onto the couch with a long, loud "UGH," muffled between the cushions.

"Uh, is she okay?" Kenny asked Lucy.

"Oh, yes. She does this most days after school." Lucy walked away towards the kitchen.

Trent looked rather bemused by Brooke. He watched her for a bit, and when she didn't move, he said calmly, "There's a beetle on your back."

"Cute," came her muffled response from the cushions.

"Oh, no, wait… It's a roach."

"AGK!" The girl sprung up and jumped from the couch in a panic, preforming a sort of bizarre jig in an attempt to remove the unseen threat. She stopped after a moment and glanced around for any sign of a bug, then noticed Trent smirking as he forced his gaze back on the television. "Fuck YOU!" she shouted.

"BROOKE!" her not-mother's voice yelled from upstairs.

"Sorry!" she ran off into the kitchen suddenly. After a few seconds, she returned, sending the other boys warning glares as they smirked. "Shut up!"

"We – didn't say anything," Darren choked on a laugh.

"I hate all of you."

"Nah, you love us!"

She raised her middle finger at him before ducking back into the kitchen. They could hear Lucy scolding her for the vulgar gesture. Cautiously, they crossed the living room and passed Trent to follow after her. She was standing on a chair and trying to reach something at the very top of one of the wall cabinets, but it appeared to be just out of her reach. Lucy was eyeing her from over the book she was reading, obviously concerned that she would fall but resisting the urge to nag her as she knew it wouldn't make a difference.

"What are you trying to get?" Darren asked.

"The cinnamon," she grunted as she stretched then gave up and hopped down from the chair. "Who put it so high?!"

"You did," Lucy said, returning her gaze down to her book. "You were hiding it from Charles and Lamar, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Those weirdos LOVE cinnamon. Anyways, I need it for a brew."

"Brew?" Kenny echoed. "Like a potion? You doing witchy stuff?"

"Yes," she said defensively. "So?"

He blinked at her. "…Why does it need cinnamon?"

"Makes it taste better. Anyways –"

"Here we go…" Lucy muttered.

"Trennnt! Come heeeere!"

With a small sigh, the boy got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen. He stopped beside Brooke. "What?"

She pointed up at the cabinet. "I can't reach the cinnamon."

"I told you not to put it up there," he looked only mildly annoyed. "I told you I was gonna have to get that shit down for you if you put it up there."

She made a bit of a pouty face as she looked away, not liking the idea of asking for help after he did, in fact, tell her not to do that. "…Can you please get the cinnamon for me?" she mumbled, very much aware of the other boys watching.

With another sigh, this one more exaggerated, he climbed up onto the chair, muttering to himself as he reached for the spice. They weren't entirely sure what had happened, he really wasn't either, but the top shelf of the cabinet suddenly collapsed with a loud noise as all of the other ingredients and spices fell and burst open on the countertop and floor.

He coughed a little from the spice-polluted air, waving his hand to clear it, then handed her the little undamaged container of cinnamon. "Here," he said with a cough.

She had been looking down at the mess curiously and smiled brightly when he handed her the cinnamon. "Thank you!" she sang and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before prancing away to her room.

He was unperturbed. "Uh-huh," he said, trying to dust garlic powder off his clothes. "Fuck's sake…" he muttered.

"The FUCK was that!?" Kenny yelled.

If his friends didn't know any better, they would have assumed he was talking about the collapsing of the shelf. But they knew better…

Lucy was staring in utter shock at the mess. She slapped her book down on the table and said very firmly, "I am NOT cleaning that!"

.

After watching Lucy clean up the mess, because Trent apparently wasn't doing a good enough job of it in her eyes, they all made their way up to Brooke's room out of curiosity of what she was doing. Even Trent and Lucy had decided to go see.

Brooke had set up a large cauldron in the center of her room, with an odd green-colored fire burning the bottom of it. She actually had to stand on a small stepstool to properly look down into the cauldron and was slowly stirring the bubbling blue contents with a large wooden paddle. She glanced up at them as they entered, her face momentarily hidden behind the rising steam that was snaking its way out the half-open window.

"Dude," Stan said to Kenny. "Your girlfriend's totally a witch."

For a short moment, Kenny was too distracted by the scene to respond, but he quickly retaliated with, "She's not my girlfriend!" Though, there wasn't as much 'enthusiasm' in his tone as there usually was. Instead, there seemed to be just the tiniest, slightest hint of unsurety or maybe even disappointment.

"She's not?" Trent asked genuinely.

"Not officially," Darren muttered out the corner of his mouth to Trent.

"What are you jerks muttering about over there?" Brooke snapped as she sprinkled a pink, gritty mineral into the brew, turning it a brilliant deep shade of purple.

"What are you making, exactly?" Kyle asked. Even Lucy looked quizzical about the contents of the cauldron, which he would have thought that she, of all people, would know.

"It's called Shadow Potion," Brooke told him. She removed the paddle from the liquid and tapped it on the edge of the cauldron before she hopped down from the stepstool. Then, she opened the cinnamon and tossed all of it, container included, up into the brew. The liquid belched potent fumes that smelled of cinnamon and smoked pinewood, bellowing an excessive amount of steam for another minute or so before the room cleared. She had put out the fire and went to close the window.

Lucy waved her hand in front of her face to clear away a bit of lingering steam. "What in the world are you making THAT for?"

"What do you mean?" she looked astonished. "You know I'm the only one who can make a decent batch of Shadow Potion. Aside from Zella, of course."

"Who's Zella?" Darren asked.

"A werewolf shaman. She taught Lucy and me everything we know about potions, medicine, and poisons."

"Poisons?" Kyle echoed.

"Yeah," Brooke said absently as she rummaged through her closet. She returned with a ladle and several little glass bottles lined up neatly in a tray.

They watched her climb back up the stepstool and use the ladle to, very carefully, pour the purple liquid into each bottle equally. She appeared very focused on the task, so they kept quiet until she had finished and was sealing each bottle with a cork.

"That sure is a lot of…whatever that stuff is," Kyle remarked. "What's it for?"

"Shadow Potion," Lucy answered, "is a werewolf specialty brew. For monsters, it allows the user to become one with shadows and blend into the darkness. Creatures that work as reapers, but are not actually reapers, use it if they do not retain the ability to disguise or hide themselves around mortals. It can also be used for spying, of course. In recent years, it has become incredibly useful for spying on and tracking Nightmares, who are naturally able to fuse with shadows and travel through the dark. However, a full dose only lasts for a full twelve hours before it wears off. And that's if it's made by a professional… Like Brooke or Zella."

"That sounds awesome!" Darren said.

"Yeah!" Kenny agreed. "What happens if a human drinks it?"

"Well, the effect would be very different," Lucy told them. "They would gain slightly similar abilities. Hm, no, more like, they would be able to _control_ darkness…in a way. Oh, also, the effect would be permanent on a human. In other words," she narrowed her blue eyes at them. "You can't have any! Shadow Potion is ruled illegal to distribute to any creature that is not born of the Nether."

"I was born of the Nether," Kenny said rather bluntly.

She looked visibly dumbfounded, almost having forgotten about that detail. "Y-Yes, well… You're still a human."

"So?" he looked a little offended by that.

She winced. "Ah, well, what I mean is –"

Brooke interrupted them with a very sweet voice towards Kenny. "Don't be silly, Kenny. The first, and last, human that ever drank pure Shadow Potion melted from the inside-out."

He was suddenly completely uninterested in the purple liquid. "So, how do you guys think you did on that math test today?"

Brooke laughed and stowed the tray of filled bottles under her bed. There was a momentary flash of yellow from under the bed. "Bug will make sure that gets delivered safely."

"Who?" Kenny asked.

"The lobster under my bed. He's…not really a lobster. His name is Bug!"

"You're fucking weird," Trent told her.

"Thanks," she smiled and went back over to the cauldron. "I'll keep the rest of this to make sub-Shadow Potions." Before anyone could ask, she said, "Potions made from Shadow Potion, but they have different effects. Hey, maybe someday I'll let you guys play with some of the sub-Shadow Potions. It's only pure Shadow Potion that's dangerous and or permanent to humans."

"How long do those last?" Stan asked.

"Same amount of time for a monster. For a human…um, maybe like a month? Anyways, they're only dangerous if you overdose. Even for monsters."

"What kinds of effects can they have?" Darren asked curiously.

"Loads. Temporary telekinesis, pyrokinesis, other elemental powers, telepathy, flight, lasers…"

"Lasers?!"

"Pew-pew!" she made little finger guns at him. "Yeah. Lasers. Magic armor, magic weapons…pretty much anything you can think of, there's a way to get it from a sub-Shadow Potion. Temporarily, of course."

**…**

As Darren, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny all left Brooke's house later, they decided to go hang out at Stan's house. When they entered his room, the little dark blue Oracle Stone sitting on his desk suddenly flew up and over to circle excitedly around them.

"Oh, hey buddy," Stan greeted it and opened his hand for it to drop in to.

"Man," Darren said. "My little stone usually greets me by divebombing me on the head… It freaking hurts."

Kenny suddenly remembered something. "Oh! Hey, guys, watch this!" He held his hand out, staring at it with much concentration until a small, pointed white stone suddenly appeared floating just above his palm. "It shows up when I think really hard about it!"

"Aw sweet!" Darren said excitedly. "Let me try!" He held his hand out, staring very hard and straining a bit until he let out a little fart and the stone appeared. "Oh god," he gasped for breath. "That was harder than I thought it'd be."

The others had stepped away from him just a little. "I think you were trying too hard," Kyle said. He had gotten his smooth, swirled orange and green stone to appear at some point while Darren was trying to summon his own. The stones all flew around each other excitedly, making cheery little tingling sounds.

"Have you guys ever used yours?" Stan asked. They all exchanged looks and shook their heads. "Me neither… I don't know what to use it for."

"Brooke said they can show the past or the present," Kenny said. "Let's just ask them something to show us and see."

"Like what?"

"Uh…" he stared at his white stone as it lowered itself in front of him, waiting for a request. "Show us…um… Oh! Show us how Brooke got her dog, Sniper."

With a little flash of light, the boys were suddenly somewhere else. They looked around, startled. They appeared to be…in Hell?!

"What did you do?!" Kyle squeaked.

"I don't know!"

"Darren!" Stan shouted. "You're standing in fire!"

"Huh?" he looked down. Sure enough, there was a decent blaze burning around him, but he felt nothing and the flames appeared to phase through his body. He looked over at a large jagged rock and tried to touch it, but his hand passed through it in a similar fashion. "Hey guys, I think it's just an illusion."

The others visibly relaxed and examined the area. "Huh," Kenny waved his hand through a fire. "Are we like…IN the memory?"

"Look!" Kyle pointed, looking a bit frightened.

Satan himself was stomping towards them; gliding smoothly across the ground beside him was Brooke's father, the cloaked skeleton known as the Grim Reaper. They passed the children without even the slightest glance or acknowledgment.

"Yeah," Satan was saying. "We've got plenty of Hell Hound pups this year. They're perfect for guard dog work."

"They didn't see us," Stan muttered.

"Shh," Darren held a finger to his lips. "It's the memory Kenny asked for!"

"What kind are you looking for?" Satan had led the Reaper to a small pit in the rocky ground where several different flaming puppies were playing and snarling at each other. "Need it for anything specific?"

"Actually," Grim said. "I was looking to get one for my daughter."

"Ah, how is she doing since…?"

"Not well," he admitted. "I'm always so busy… I was thinking a puppy would help give her something to do and make her feel…a little better."

"Hm…" Satan reached into the pit and pulled up one of the puppies. "What about this one? It's the last Doberman style we have left. They're stubborn, but loyal and very smart. I think Angel could handle him."

Grim examined the snarling, flaming dog. It was a beast of fire and bones, but tiny and, in a way, cute. He reached out and took the puppy in his boney hands. It stopped snarling, the fire dispersing and leaving behind what appeared to be a regular Doberman Pinscher pup, and looked up at him with its tail wagging. "Hm," he looked over the puppy. "Yes. I think he'll do. How much?"

He laughed. "I'm not going to charge YOU! Besides, after what you and your daughter have been through… Just take the little rascal. He keeps eating my socks, anyway."

"Thank you."

The boys winced a little as they were suddenly somewhere completely different. Actually, they recognized it. It was Brooke's circular bedroom back at the castle. The layout was even the same as they remembered. There was a younger, smaller Brooke laying behind the bed's veil; she looked about five or six.

The Grim Reaper suddenly entered through the large decorative doors, flicking the light on and gliding silently over to the bed. He gently pushed aside the veil. Brooke was facing the other way.

"Is this all you plan on doing today?" her father asked. She didn't respond. "Well," he said. "You can't exactly take care of your dog if you won't leave your bed."

She turned her head to give him an odd look. "I don't have a dog."

"You do now." He abruptly dropped the puppy onto the bed beside her.

Brooke was caught off guard, so she didn't have time to protect herself before the puppy assaulted her with excited licks across her face. "Ah! What?" She couldn't help but smile and laugh a little as she tried to push the puppy off. "Heh, stop!"

"See that?" her dad said. "He likes you already. Take care of him and he'll take care of you, too."

She sat up and stroked puppy Sniper along his back. "Thanks Dad."

"I thought you would like him. I thought it would be a good idea to help you feel better and keep you focused on something positive. Dogs are good for that, I think." He reached a hand out to brush aside her bangs. "I know I rarely get time off to spend with you…but don't forget that I care very much. I love you, and you're not alone."

She smiled up at him. "I love you, too."

The scene faded, and the boys found themselves back in Stan's room. "Her dad got her Sniper as a present," Stan said.

"Yeah," Kyle said. "It sounded like he got her the dog for her depression or something. You guys heard what Satan said? He must've been talking about Desmond."

"Not sure how I feel about the fact that Brooke's dad and Satan are good friends," Darren muttered to himself.

"Hey," Stan had an idea. "What if we use the stones to show us what Desmond was like? Oh! We could have them show us their mom! The monsters talk about her like she was the most amazing person ever."

"Well," Kyle said. "I'm sure to them she was. Didn't she, like, create the Nether AND the monsters?"

"Stones!" Darren said firmly. The stones froze in the air as if coming to attention. "Show us how awesome Brooke's mom was!"

There was a flash; they were standing on top of a huge stone pillar somewhere in the Nether. Two absolutely massive monsters were before them, standing opposite each other as if they were soon to fight. One they recognized as the elder god Cthulhu, the other they recognized from the big statue on the fountain they had seen on their way to Brooke's castle.

Instead of solid white, however, the Wechuge's smooth feathers were brilliant hues of gold, orange, and red. She looked like a sunset. She was so much larger than Brooke's monster form. In fact, Sol was just as huge as Cthulhu. Her wings were tipped with crimson, matching the long feathers at the end of her tail, and her bronze-colored antlers were mightily impressive. She glared with golden eyes at Cthulhu.

"Brother!" she boomed. Her voice was simultaneously melodic and imposing. Beautiful but filled with powerful authority that made the boys stand up straight. "I had made you lord of this district, but I see the reports are true of you abusing your position. You have also been meddling in human affairs. Not only have you broken my laws, but you now dare to challenge me?!"

From what they remembered, Cthulhu spoke in strange gurgling sounds, but somehow, they could understand. Perhaps it was due to something the Oracle Stones were doing?

"You are too soft-hearted!" he roared. "We should be using the mortals to our advantage! We should be taking their souls for power and conquering other worlds!"

"Fool!" she roared back. "This world has a purpose! It exists for balance! They all do! Disrupting the balance will send everything into chaos!"

"Chaos is the first step to creation!"

"Chaos is the first step to ruin! Creation can only come from what is there, not from what no longer exists!"

"Nonsense! Your close-minded way of thinking, and the way you let the monsters do as they please, it will all come to an end today! They should be doing our bidding and NOTHING else! I will make the other worlds fear the Nether!"

"I created this world," Sol said dangerously. "I simply allowed you to live in it!"

He laughed, the sound rumbling across the land and shaking the pillar the boys were standing on. "Yes, but it's been many a millennium and I think it's time for a _change_. You treat mortal souls with the same tender care that you give your monsters, filing them into their final destinations and failing to see the magnificent source of power they are! We are the FIRST to touch the souls after their deaths, why should we send them away to other realms? We should be using them to our advantage! I will show you…"

He held up a claw; at the very tip was a tiny little white ball of flame. So tiny, that the boys could just barely make it out from where they were.

Sol narrowed her golden eyes at him, a deep growl rumbling in her throat.

"Observe," Cthulhu said. "My foolish human followers have given me a sacrifice. A newborn baby that I have cursed with rebirth. When he dies, he will be reborn just to die again another time. Over and over, for all eternity. A never-ending cycle of wealth and power for me!"

Kenny tensed.

"I am well aware of your illegal curse," Sol growled lowly. "But cursed or not, that soul belongs to ME."

He appeared to be grinning under the mass of tentacles that surrounded his mouth. "Now, Sol, observe the power one can gain from just a single, tiny, human baby's soul!"

The tentacles spread apart to reveal a nasty-looking mouth full of needle-like teeth. He raised his hand to his mouth, swallowing the tiny white light. There was a wave of white that passed across his body and he convulsed oddly as his muscles appeared to bulk up. He threw his head back and released a loud roar before suddenly flying at Sol with incredible speed.

The boys almost didn't know what had happened. Cthulhu was over there, and now, all of a sudden, he was grabbing Sol's antlers in his claws. The Wechuge struggled against him for a bit before he managed to lift her and violently toss her aside, sending her crashing loudly into several other stone pillars. Again, all of a sudden, he was upon her. He grabbed her with one hand by the throat, readying the claws on his other hand.

Sol's pupil became a thin slit as she peered down at him with fury. There was an odd sound building up and a yellow-orange light forming in her exposed ribcage. Before Cthulhu could strike her, she twisted in his grasp, turned her gaping maw down at him, and released a huge blast of pure energy that burned him and forced him to release her. The boys covered their ears at the sound the blast made.

Before he could recover, Sol slashed her long black claws across his chest, plunging them halfway into his flesh and pulling the tiny white light free of his body. She opened her jaws and swallowed the soul, slamming her mouth shut with a snap. Her feathers stood on end as the light passed through her, making her look twice her already impressive size. The tiny soul mingled in her ribcage with her own purple, blazing inferno of a soul, giving the inferno a burst of white around it.

Sol screeched furiously at her sibling, a blast of fire shooting out from her body in all directions so powerfully that the boys could've sworn they felt the heat even in the memory. Now, it was Sol that was suddenly upon him. She rammed her antlers into him, lifted him from the ground, then flung him away so hard that he left a massive crater when he hit the ground again. Before he could move, she let out another roar and magical chains of some odd sort burst from the earth and impaled pointed ends into her sibling's back, calves, and shoulders, preventing him from standing.

"I should destroy your soul," she boomed, the power from the baby's soul making her voice echo. "But I will make you suffer by showing mercy. You will no longer be a lord in my realm, but you shall remain trapped here, in the very spot you dared to defy me in! May you gain as much love and praise from your mortal followers as you think yourself worthy, for you will NEVER have authority in my realm again!"

And, with that and a single flap of her broad wings, she lifted into the air and soared away, leaving her furious, screeching sibling behind.

The boys were in so much shock and awe that it took them a moment to realize that they were suddenly standing somewhere inside the castle. There was a door before them, from which a very pretty, slender woman with long silvery hair stepped out. "Right on time," she said serenely as she closed the door behind her.

Another woman of equal beauty was approaching her. This one was a bit more muscular but lean and wearing loose flowing white robes that possibly could've passed for a dress. She stopped abruptly before the silver-haired woman. She had very long, smooth golden hair, and now that she was closer, they could see her golden eyes. She had all the look of an angel without the wings.

"It is done," she stated bluntly. They instantly recognized Sol's powerful, yet lovely voice.

"Yes," the silver-haired woman said. Despite her hair color, she looked just as youthful as Sol, maybe even younger. "You spared him."

"I doomed him to an eternity of suffering," Sol said with absolutely no hint of remorse. "He will not be able to even use the soul he cursed. Unfortunately," she opened her hand to reveal the tiny white light flickering in her palm. "I cannot break my foolish brother's curse upon it."

"Ah," the other woman carefully took the soul into her hands. "You poor, beautiful thing. You will suffer much, for many years, but you are strong." She looked up at Sol. "They will name him Kenneth."

Sol looked highly uninterested, but the boys almost fell over from shock. Kenny, in particular, was about to shit a brick.

"I see him becoming very close to your daughter…"

Now, Sol reacted, looking bewildered. "What? Why would my daughter be close with a human?"

"Hm… I see her on Earth…going to school."

Sol was looking even more shocked. "What?! For what purpose would I send my child to the mortal realm?"

She frowned. "I'm not sure, Your Majesty. That is all I see of it. It is too far ahead for me to see clearly. About ten years, I'd estimate."

Sol scoffed and looked down at the light with contempt. "Humans are nothing but trouble. Vile and pointless."

"And yet," the woman smiled. "You chose to save them from Cthulhu's wrath."

"To keep the balance," she retaliated.

"And then, you could have destroyed this one, used it all up, or destroyed it to save it from the curse. But, instead, you tried to remove the curse, and now you are on your way to send it off so that it may be reborn."

Sol made an annoyed face, but clearly had no words left to argue.

"This child will be very important to your people."

She sighed. "You've never been wrong before, Crystal. But why a human, of all things?"

"That, I do not know." She handed the soul back to the queen. "Would you like to say anything to him?"

"What is the point? He won't remember it once he leaves. Besides, he's a baby."

Crystal smiled knowingly. "He might hear it someday."

"Hmph." Sol took the tiny light and began to walk away at a brisk pace. "No, I do not wish to speak to _Kenneth_."

"Very well," Crystal shrugged. "We will see him again."

"Dude, Kenny," Stan went to say something, but Darren shushed him as the scene changed once more.

They were in another place presumably somewhere in the castle. It was a tall, cylindrical-shaped dark room where the only source of light came from a white beam shooting up from a big well in the center. Many souls were flying up from the well's beam and bursting out into the room to wander aimlessly until they were collected by banshees to be taken away somewhere. They recognized Joey, the purple-eyed hippie banshee with the odd head tilt problem and ever gaping jaw, but he did not appear to have either of those problems in this memory.

They watched him fly around the room, selectively snatching up several souls of different colors before he filled his ribcage and flew upwards and out through a hole in the wall along with several other banshees. Standing at the well was Sol in her human form, with the woman named Crystal at her side.

"My monsters are being slaughtered over and over, only to return straight to a fight that never ends," Sol watched a pink monster soul shoot out from the well. She looked worried. "The Nightmares are stronger with their _King._" She said the word with contempt and turned to face Crystal. "I will have to join the battle, just as you predicted."

"Yes, but that means –"

"I will die." Sol finished. "And I will not return."

Before Crystal could say anything else, a little white soul with a faint tint of blue burst from the well to flit excitedly around them. "Oh," she said with mild surprise. "It is you again. I see you've gained a bit of color. I'm glad you still remain relatively pure, though."

Sol looked over to see who she was talking to. She watched emotionlessly as the little human soul glided smoothly over to her and stopped close to her, like a toddler wanting to be held.

"He must recognize your soul from the time the two of you fused," Crystal smiled a little.

"We have no bond, you!" Sol said firmly. The soul flickered happily at her voice and moved closer. She took it in her hand and made a face. "Foolish little boy."

"Anything you want to say to him now?" Crystal asked. "This will be the last time you ever see him."

There was the slightest hint of sadness in the Queen's eyes as she stared down at the little light resting in her palm. "A human that suffers the same fate as my monsters…and you're only a child." She sighed then carefully stroked the flame with her other hand, cupping it tenderly. "Death is not what scares me," she told it. "I am only regretful over the fact that I will not get to watch over my children or see them grow. My own soul with be destroyed on this day. I will not return, and there will be no final destination for me. I will no longer exist, except for in their memories. My advisor tells me that you will become close with my daughter… Whatever that means, I expect you to look after her well in my place." She took a slow, deep breath in. "Farewell…Kenny."

Sol handed him over to a female banshee with mint eyes. "Amora," she told the banshee. "You will look after this one from now on. Send him back home, now."

She bowed and carefully took the soul before flying out through one of the holes high in the wall.

The Queen turned back to Crystal. "Good-bye my friend."

Crystal bowed lowly as Sol left the room, walking with all the authority and purpose she always had.

The boys were suddenly in a field somewhere. In the far distance behind them was the back of the white and gold castle, but they were too distracted and frightened by what was going on around them to notice. The sky above them was crimson, the tall grass was black and splattered with blood, and all around them were many different Nether monsters viciously fighting with horrid-looking black masses of teeth, claws, and eyes that appeared to change their shape to effectively harm whatever monster they were currently targeting.

Over the noise, nearby, they heard what sounded like the heart-wrenching cry of a large dog being injured. They looked in time to see a large black werewolf being thrown aside; a long, deep gash running from his chest all the way down to his hip was spraying blood across the ground.

The loud cracking of bones made them look over to see a banshee being crushed beneath a Nightmare that had taken the form of some kind of horrendous elephant-like monstrosity. The banshee did not allow itself to die, however, until it had bitten and ripped a large chunk out from its assailant's side, causing it to disperse into nothingness.

They made to go help the banshee, but stopped as they remembered that it was just an illusion in their heads. With a defiant screech at the next Nightmare, the banshee was crushed and killed.

"Look at that!" Kyle pointed.

Towering above all of them, at the back of the Nightmare army, was a massive beast equal in size to Sol's Wechuge form. It was some kind of amorphous disaster of claws, bulging red eyes, and many sharp-toothed, wide mouths that smiled wickedly at the scene beneath it.

Suddenly, the fighting ceased as a loud, familiar screeching roar echoed across the battleground. The boys and all the monsters and Nightmares turned to look at the sunset-feathered Wechuge flying over the field and straight for the Nightmare King, a terrifying, furious gleam in her golden eyes.

She lowered her head as she got closer and collided with the King. He had already shifted himself to a similar shape, locking antlers with her and grinning psychotically. "The Queen has arrived!" His voice was like thunder echoing off a mountain, reverberating through the bodies of everyone around.

Sol did not bother to exchange words with him. There was a light building up in her chest and mouth. She pushed him back, removed her antlers, and shot a beam from her jaws directly in his mock deer face. The Nightmare King hissed and retracted himself, the light burning his bubbling flesh. He shifted again, extending a long tentacle of an arm tipped with sharp claws and slashing it across her face.

The Wechuge screeched furiously. The attack left a deep crack across her bone face. The boys were shocked and frightened to see blood spurt from the wound, but Sol retaliated quickly. She lunged forward and bit hard into the King's throat, digging her long claws into his body and tearing away at him before he managed to knock her off by shifting his body to grow a broad tail that he used to push her aside. She flew up high, and he sprouted wings to follow after her.

Everyone watched as the giants took their fight to the sky. Everything Sol did, the Nightmare King seemed to either copy or counter with his odd shape-shifting ability. He was even able to mimic her huge blast of energy, surprising even Sol and blasting her out of the sky.

She landed hard, with an ear-splitting sound of the earth cracking beneath her body. For a moment, she didn't get up. When she did, they saw that she was covered with bleeding gashes, her brilliant feathers messy and bloody, and her wings tattered and broken. She struggled to even get onto all fours, looking up at the King as he made a dive towards her for a final blow.

There was no hint of fear in Sol's eyes, only a powerful defiance. She forced herself up and met his blow to her chest with a critical slash through his whole body, splitting him as he ripped her blazing soul from her body and crushed it in his claws.

He roared furiously and with pain as his body fell apart, quickly turning into a shadowy mass and fleeing as the Nightmares vanished. Upon her death, the Wechuge burst into a mess of blood and feathers, leaving nothing else behind.

The monsters that were left standing were silent for a long time, obviously shocked and saddened by the permanent death of their Queen, their god. When the first monster dared to let out a triumphant roar, the others followed suit, sending all their hatred and defiance towards the Nightmares to the sky.

They were back in the castle. There was a gruff-looking muscular man with wild black hair standing before them. His entire torso was wrapped with bandages. Before him was Spike, the green and yellow pygmy dragon.

"I'm terribly sorry, Sith," Spike looked up at him sadly. "Nightmares had invaded the castle as soon as the Queen left to fight their king. They appeared to be targeting the young Prince and Princess. Crystal was destroyed protecting them and your daughter just before the guards were able to destroy them."

"…Are the Prince and Princess injured? Is Lucy?"

"No, sir. They are safe and unharmed."

"Good."

Again, the scene changed. The boys were standing outside in what appeared to be an extensive garden in a courtyard surrounded by the castle. They were surrounded by flowers and dogwood trees. There were many animals wandering around, rabbits, squirrels, butterflies, and even a few tiny deer. In front of them was a thorny wall of deep red roses where stood someone they had never seen before.

The boy looked a little younger than them. He was incredibly pretty for a boy and had shoulder-length black hair and brilliant blue eyes that rivaled Lucy's. He was tenderly pruning a large rose before he removed it from the plant and brought it over to a younger girl watching him from beneath one of the trees.

"This one seems nice," he smiled, looking very gentle and serene. "Here you are."

Brooke took the rose and smiled shyly at the boy. "You finally got them to bloom," she said. "I thought it was just going to be a big wall of thorns forever."

"Well," he laughed a little. "They needed to establish security before they felt safe enough to bloom, right?"

"If you say so." She stroked the velvety petals. They were still wet with morning dew. "Desmond, are you ever worried about ruling the kingdom?"

The boys looked stunned. They shuffled closer to get a good look at Desmond and hear his voice.

"Worried?" he smiled. "What do you mean?"

"It seems like a lot of work," she muttered.

He laughed. "It isn't so bad. But, I'm not very good at the whole 'putting my foot down' thing."

"You're too soft."

He laughed again. "You're too honest! But I'd rather that than a lie, I suppose. If we're being honest now, I think you would be better at the job than me. You should take over for me."

She shook her head vigorously. "No, no, no! I'd put them all in the wall!"

"Maybe that's what they need," he grinned and leaned against her.

"Cassidy does…" she muttered. "Desmond, you won't leave me alone, will you?"

He tilted his head at her. "Where is that coming from? Of course not, love. I'll never leave you."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Desmond took the rose and fitted it into her hair. "Angel, would you like to dance?"

"Okay," she smiled up at him.

He smiled sweetly at her reaction and took her hands in his. "A Koi's Whisk?"

"Yes!"

They watched the young siblings begin some kind of fast-paced ballroom style dance before the scene changed again. They were outside still, but somewhere else not far off from the castle. Monsters were fleeing in all directions to get away from the wild-feathered Wechuge thrashing everything in sight. The first time the boys had seen her rampage, she was clearly filled with burning rage, but this time seemed a bit different. The monster was screeching and roaring, but it did not have the rage-filled look in its eyes. No, instead, there were tears falling from them as she thrashed the buildings around her.

The boys were tempted to dash out of the way as she neared them, but two banshees had appeared and caught their attention. It was Charles and Lamar. They looked very sad.

"Princess!" Lamar shouted up at the much larger beast. "You have to stop!"

"You're hurting your people!" Charles added. "Their homes are being destroyed!"

"We know it's hard to control your power. You're very strong!"

"And we know your sad about Desmond… We're sad, too! We loved him too! We know you feel alone!"

"But you're not alone!" Lamar called. "We're still here! Everyone is still here for you! We know it won't change what happened. He's still gone, but you're not alone!"

"You never were!"

The Wechuge stopped and stared down at them. Her growl turning into a whimper as water fell from her eyes.

The banshees moved a little closer. "We're here, Princess," Charles said. "And we love you."

"We'll never let you feel alone ever again!"

She lowered her head to meet them, fire engulfing her body and dispersing to leave behind a very sad, crying little girl. The banshees quickly curled themselves protectively around her and nuzzled their heads against her face. Several other monsters returned and moved closer to huddle against them as well, trying their best to be near their saddened little Princess. None of them showed any wariness or fear now, only a desire to be near her.

The boys found themselves sniffling and wiping tears from their eyes as everything vanished and they were back in Stan's room. A lot of time must have passed, because it was now dark outside.

"Guys," Darren sniffed. "I've never felt so many emotions at once."

Kenny wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "Charles and Lamar calmed her down just by caring and talking to her."

"Did you see after?" Kyle asked. "All the monsters that were running away immediately went back to comfort her, too."

Stan sniffed and rubbed his eyes. "I think we used the stones wrong or something. That was way more than we asked for."

"Yeah," Kenny allowed the white stone to rest in his hand. "I'm kind of glad I know, though…"

"Should we tell her?" Kyle asked. "Brooke, I mean?"

They exchanged unsure glances.

.

The next day, they went through school silent and sad. They hardly spoke until later when they had gathered in Brooke's living room while she was upstairs.

"Heyyyy!"

"Heyyyyyyy!"

Charles and Lamar caused them to jump a little as the banshees burst from the floor.

"What are you guys doing here?" Lamar asked. "I mean, you guys are always hanging around the Princess, but what are you doing here, downstairs?"

"Yeah! You know she's in her room, right?"

The banshees tensed as the boys suddenly hugged them.

"Eh…" Charles looked unsure. "Lamar, why are these guys making physical contact with us?"

"I. Don't. Know."

Brooke had come downstairs and froze at the last few steps. She was not aware that the boys were there. She had only gone downstairs to meet her banshees in the kitchen for a snack, but instead she found them being hugged by her human friends. The banshees looked over at her desperately.

"Help," Lamar whispered.

"Uh, what are you guys doing to my banshees?"

They released Charles and Lamar and hurried over to her. She looked startled, preparing herself to run if need be.

"We used the Oracle Stones to see your past!" Kyle blurted.

"Huh?" she was completely caught off guard.

"First, we just used them to see how you got your dog, then we wanted to see Sol, your mom."

"She totally kicked Cthulhu's ass!" Darren interjected.

"Yeah! And then, for some reason, the stones showed us how she died fighting the Nightmare King!"

"Then," Stan added. "They showed us Desmond and you in a garden or something! Then, next, they showed us you as a giant monster rampaging in the Nether until Charles and Lamar got you to calm down, and we now have a serious respect for those two dummies!"

She stared at them, processing. They braced themselves for her to yell at them, but she only straightened herself and said calmly, "Oh. Okay." She walked past them towards the kitchen, but stopped and looked back at them. "Um…what did you guys think of Desmond?"

"He – he seemed really nice," Stan said. The others agreed.

She smiled faintly and turned away. "He was."

**To be continued…**

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**Did you think I forgot about those little Oracle Stones? I bet YOU forgot!**


	37. Chapter 37: Blood Ball

**Oy! It's me! I'm back! Haha! Pretty sure there's like, only one person who actually reads this story but heck, I continue writing it because I have fun with it. I've been so busy with work, and, well, life. Adulting sucks. Money is tight. But hey, that also won't stop me from having fun and writing this garbage lol. It's almost therapeutic... Oh, btw, I received an anonymous comment on chapter 1 of this story that read, and I quote, "YOUR STORIES ARE PIGSHIT! GO COMMIT SUICIDE!" Hahaha! Who actually says that shit? The funniest/weirdest part was that at the very bottom of the comment they had literally ALL of their contact info: home address, state, zip, 2 phone numbers, and an email. ...What? Aaaanyways, I actually have quite a few chapters done that I'll probably get back to uploading weekly while I work on my other story _Free_. I REALLY need to finish that one. **

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Lucy seemed very busy and stressed by the last Wednesday of March. She remained ever vigilant in her attendance to school, but it was obvious that all the paperwork and plans she was going over were something else entirely. The boys watched as Brooke calmly helped her look over some things and organize.

They had gone over to Brooke's after school, curious to find out what had Lucy so stressed, and found the two girls in the kitchen with many papers spread out on the table.

"It's the Blood Ball," Brooke told them.

"I think you've mentioned it before," Kyle thought aloud, "but could you explain?"

"Well, first of all, it has to do with vampires. _Real_ vampires. Not those weird kids at school pretending to be…vampires."

Lucy rolled her eyes and made a disapproving sound, then continued searching through papers.

"You see," Brooke continued. "Vampires are not from the Nether. They're also naturally smug and aggressive. A long time ago, during the renaissance ages for humans, vampires and Nether monsters were sort of fighting for territory and feeding rights in this world. Vampires are naturally from this world, but Nether monsters aren't. However, the ruler of the Nether has first rights to all souls, so… Well, it made things…complicated. Anyways, long story short, my mother and the King of Vampires got together and formed a peace treaty with very strict, but fair conditions and guidelines for both sides to follow. As a sign of peace, and to keep both sides updated on everything that may affect them, the Nether hosts the Blood Ball.

The Blood Ball happens once every four years, when the Nether full moon turns red. It's just a big fancy ball held at the castle where all the vampire clans show up with the king. I also have to go." She sighed.

"You don't like it?" Kenny asked.

"It's not that," she said. "I have to wear a stupid dress!"

"O-Oh!" he stammered.

"Hear that, Kenny?" Darren nudged him. "Imagine Brooke in a pretty dress…probably strapless…"

He already was. He felt his face heating up and shook his head then pushed Darren away. "Fuck off, asshole."

"Vampires can also be rather…touchy to deal with," Lucy added. "They're easily angered by the simplest things, especially if it insults their way of living. Everything has to be perfect!"

"Since she's the royal advisor, Lucy has to deal with most of the planning and preparation," Brooke explained. "She's also the only one I would trust to do so."

"When is the ball?" Kyle asked.

"This Saturday. Why? Do you want to come?"

"Oh, uh, c-can we?"

"Sure."

"Princess," Lucy looked at her. "Are you certain that's a good idea? No offense to the boys, but vampires are not very friendly towards humans." She looked at the boys. "Many Nether monsters might eat humans sometimes, but they can at least be civil and friendly towards them. Vampires are never like that with humans. They simply see them as prey, and sometimes as a nuisance."

"Civil? Like Billi the wendigo?" Darren asked.

"Yes, like – How do you know Billi?"

"He was gonna eat us in the mountains the other night until Charles and Lamar came back. He was pretty cool about it though."

Lucy eyed him questioningly but didn't press the matter any further. "Princess, Francis will need you to go try on your dress tomorrow night. The rest of you will need to visit him as well, unless you have proper formal attire. Oh, and the ball is a masquerade. You don't have to wear a mask, but if any of you show up in unfit clothing –" she leered around at them.

"Wait," Stan said. "Didn't you basically just say that it'd be bad for us to go? You know, humans?"

"Only if they find out…"

"Don't let them," Brooke said. "Lots of monsters can take human forms. For example: Lucy and myself. The only thing that could give you guys away when you're pretending is your soul and your scent. Lucky for you guys, vampires can't see souls, and scent can be masked. We'll just have you guys rubbed down real good with some werewolf fur and you can go with that."

"I don't know…" Kyle said.

"What, Kyle?" Darren said. "Don't you want to dance with Lucy?"

He blushed and quickly checked to make sure that Lucy had not heard him. Luckily, she was too distracted by her papers. "Dude!"

Unlike Lucy, Brooke had heard. "She'll probably be too busy fretting over everything the whole time," she said quietly. "But you can try. I think it'd be good for her to participate for once instead of chaperoning everything."

"What about you, Brooke?" Stan asked. "What will you be doing?"

"Mostly accompanying the vampire king and discussing the year's events…that are relevant to him that is." She sighed. "Unfortunately, it is customary for the Nether's ruler to accept any request for a dance. So – many – dances."

"Hear that?" Darren leaned towards Kenny. "She has to accept a dance request from anyone…no matter who they are."

He shivered then shot him a glare.

"My favorite is Koi's Whisk," Brooke said absently, looking as if she was remembering something fondly.

"That name's familiar," Kyle muttered.

"It's a bit out of place at a renaissance-styled masquerade, considering it's a Japanese song and kind of fast-paced and complex. But it's allowed because it's my favorite. It gets the name from the movements, mimicking the erratic, sudden but graceful movements of two koi swimming together in a small space."

"Personally, I prefer a more traditional waltz. Starlight Waltz is lovely," Lucy said from the table. She was checking things off a list. Once she had finished with it, she looked back up at them all. "You'll all be needing dance lessons. Hopefully you can all retain the lessons before Saturday… I'll have someone go to each of you to give your first lessons tonight at your homes and to go over a list of the scheduled songs."

By Thursday evening, Lucy almost had everything in perfect order until the shiny pygmy dragon known as June Bug suddenly appeared in her shed with Kenny at her side. Lucy was a bit startled at first, giving them an odd look before relaxing and composing herself.

"Ah, it's only you two," she said. "Er, what brings you here?"

"This boy is IMPOSSIBLE," June Bug stated, emphasizing the statement with a stamp of her foot. "I tried last night, and then I tried again to teach him today, but nothing! No progress! I can't understand; how thick do you have to be to be unable to learn a ballroom dance?!"

"Hey!" Kenny was offended.

"It's like trying to teach Mossy Grotto spiders not to bite off people's heads. It just doesn't happen!"

"Come on! I'm not THAT bad! …And what?!"

"I'd have better luck teaching a spider to dance," she muttered.

Lucy sighed deeply. "Well, dancing is not completely necessary…but thank you for trying, I suppose."

The dragon huffed and disappeared with a poof.

Lucy got up from her seat and passed him to unlock the trapdoor in the corner. "I'm assuming you do not have any proper attire?"

"No."

"Very well. Francis can take care of that, no problem. Come along," she called as she descended the stairs.

He followed her down into the darkness, through the green fire-lit room of caged rats, and into the blue room where many piranhas swam in the pool that acted as the floor. He watched curiously as Lucy took something out of her pocket and drank it before handing him another. It was a small bottle of sparkly clear liquid.

"It's Stepping Stone Potion," she said before he could ask. "Simply put, it allows the user to walk on, well, anything. Water or even mid-air. Don't worry, I would never give you something that wasn't proven safe for your consumption."

He took the bottle and uncorked it, staring in at the odd liquid. It had a strange earthy smell. He took a breath then downed the bottle in one gulp, making a face at the gritty texture that had no taste. "It's like drinking wet sand."

"If you say so…" She stepped out over the water.

Kenny got excited seeing her walk across the surface, the water not touching her shoes. It was like she was walking on an invisible pathway. He carefully held one foot out over the water, hesitating a small moment before firmly placing his foot down and feeling as if he had placed it down on a solid floor. He brought his other foot over. "Cool!"

Lucy looked surprised as Kenny suddenly ran past her to the next door. She rolled her eyes at his behavior but was smiling all the same.

As they entered the Oracle Chamber, several stones floating by the door whispered and darted out of the way. A few of them gathered around to follow them as they walked across the room until they reached another door, at which point the stones flew back to their places.

Kenny had almost forgotten that the Oracle Chamber was actually located in the Nether castle. They stepped out of the dim room and into a the familiar white and gold-trimmed hallways of the castle with its red carpet trailing along the center of the floor. He didn't know if this was a hallway he had been in before, but he definitely didn't remember encountering one that was so busy other than the one filled with souls flying around. There were many different monsters bustling up and down the hall, many of them appeared to be servants carrying all manner of things. He caught a brief glimpse of the banshee named Joey flying above the crowd with a chest full of bouncing souls.

"Normally," Lucy explained as they moved through the crowd, "this hallway is relatively empty, but the ballroom is located at the other end, so it's quite busy recently. Come along, the royal tailor's chambers are the opposite way. Don't worry, no one will step on you."

He was relieved to hear that, because he was terribly afraid that the larger monsters like the wendigos and the giant skeleton would surely crush him, but Lucy never steered anyone wrong. Actually, he noticed the monsters would step out of _his _way, even when he was sure they didn't see him. Most of them were too busy to pay them any mind, but one or two would glance over at Kenny with a surprised look. One young werewolf even hesitated, looking very unsure of something before he was nudged from behind by his superior and forced to keep going. Kenny was particularly bewildered by the ghostly-looking white fox that stopped to bow to him before trotting on its way.

"Come along," Lucy's voice called his attention back.

He hurried after her, turning the corner into another hall that was still rather busy, but significantly less so, then stopped at a very out-of-place door. It was made of dark wood, with studded steel reinforcements and a steel ring for a door handle. The door itself was big, rounded, and it reminded him of something you'd see on a pirate ship.

On the other side of the door was a huge room that Kenny was thoroughly convinced was a whole building crammed into the castle wall. They passed through small aisles of hanging clothes in all colors, shapes, and sizes and came out into another huge dome-shaped room. At the center was an absolutely massive brick-red octopus sitting in a big shallow pool of water completely surrounded by a countertop of some type that his tentacles trailed over to splay out around the room. He had a row of large, yellowed spikes along the center of his head and wore a big monocle and a fancy bowler hat.

"Good evening, Francis," Lucy preformed her signature curtsy.

The monstrous octopus was using the ends of two of his tentacles to carefully stitch a torn sleeve on a tailcoat. He was squinting at it with concentration, but placed it to the side as he heard Lucy speak. It was hard to tell, but Kenny was pretty sure that the octopus was smiling at them, as he appeared rather delighted.

"This is Kenneth," she introduced the boy. "You remember our discussion, yes?"

He made a bouncing motion, as if nodding, still looking very happy.

"Kenneth," Lucy said. "Please step forward and allow Francis to measure you."

"Oh, uh, okay."

Francis stared down at him for a moment then suddenly brought one of his tentacles down and stuck a suction cup to the boy's head and lifted him from the ground and closer to his face. He used another tentacle to shift his monocle, squinting at the boy before taking a third tentacle and, with one quick motion, swept his parka and pants off of him. At first, Kenny wasn't sure what had happened.

"What the heck?!" he said as he was placed back on the floor. He was only wearing underwear and an old off-white muscle shirt that made him look even scrawnier than he already was because it was so loose. "He took my clothes!"

"Well, they were rather puffy," Lucy admitted. "They would cause inaccuracies in measurement. Now, stand up straight and hold still."

He tensed and straightened himself as Francis took a measuring tape and began to measure him all around. Arms, legs, length and width. Shoulders, chest, waist and hips, feet, head, torso, and finally his full-body height. Francis smiled and curled the tip of his tentacle as if to say 'OK' then stretched another tentacle away and pulled over a rack of nice clothes and formal attire.

"Francis made everything you see here," Lucy told Kenny. "These should all fit you, so take your pick and let's see."

"Does he make Brooke's clothes, too?" he asked as he went to examine the selection.

"Yes. He also makes her dresses. He's quite handy for someone who doesn't have hands. Anything you like?"

"I don't know. This?" He pulled out a midnight blue coat with matching pants.

"Rather simple…" Lucy mused. "Francis? Your thoughts?"

The octopus flicked his tentacle.

"He wants you to put it on."

Kenny removed his shirt, replacing it with the nice, crisp black long-sleeve that was within the coat, eyeing Francis as the octopus swept up his old shirt from the floor. He pulled on the pants and coat, buttoning it up as Lucy and Francis examined him critically.

"It would need miniscule adjustments," Lucy remarked. "But it's…so simple."

"Well, it's not like I want to stand out or anything," Kenny muttered.

"I understand, but -"

Francis seemed to have had an idea. He reached over, rummaging through some things, then brought over a dark hooded cape. He slung it around the boy's shoulders, latching it together at the neck with a silver-colored brooch fixed with a polished oval sapphire in the center. He then used another tentacle to bring over a pair of matching boots. As Kenny stepped into the boots, Francis felt around behind himself for something and brought it over as well. He placed the skull-face mask on him then pulled up the hood, patting him on the head and gesturing as if to say 'There!'"

"Hm," Lucy surveyed him. "Yes, that's much better. Your choice of mask is interesting…"

Francis shifted and waved a tentacle.

"True. Well, Kenneth, do you like it?"

He turned to examine himself in a nearby mirror.

"You don't have to wear the mask," Lucy told him.

"No, I like it. Thanks."

Francis was delighted once more and clapped all four pairs of tentacles to applaud.

"Ah, good," Lucy sighed, relieved. "One more thing out of the way."

As Kenny removed the outfit, Francis handed him his old clothes back. However, they appeared clean and mended now. "How – When did you do this?"

Lucy giggled. "Come on, let's be off. Thank you, Francis."

The giant octopus waved to them as they left.

"Hey, Lucy," Kenny asked as they entered the Oracle Chamber. "Why is Koi's Whisk Brooke's favorite?"

"Hm? Well, I believe it's mainly because she enjoys the music itself. Ah, it was also taught to her by Desmond."

"Mm. Okay."

Saturday evening a pygmy dragon escort appeared at each of the boy's homes to have them change and poof them over to Lucy's shed and enter the Nether through the Oracle Chamber. The four of them, plus their escorts, met up in the chamber and were promptly teleported to a set of doors where stood large living gargoyles on either side.

"This is a side entrance," Poppy explained. She had been the one to escort Kenny. "The main entrance still has quite a line right now."

Stan was holding the tiny Puff in the breast of his black coat and stroking him fondly. "How many people can get in?"

"Lots!" Puff squeaked.

"Oh, don't worry about capacity," Pixie smiled. "The ballroom is plenty spacious enough. Everyone just has to check in first."

"But you guys are VIPs," Puff said with an air of pride. "So, we'll handle the check-in stuff for you."

"Where are Lucy and Brooke?" Kyle asked.

"The Princess and her advisor are the FIRST on the scene," Tiger replied. "They're already inside with the King of Vampires. Don't bother them!"

"You are, however, allowed to ask for at least one dance," Poppy added.

The gargoyles glared down at them as they approached then stepped aside to allow them in. The room behind the doors was indeed spacious. It was probably about the size of a large football field, maybe even bigger, and even had a set of stairs on either side that led to large golden-railed balconies. The balconies appeared dimly lit, but the main room itself was bright with glittering lights on fancy golden chandeliers and candelabras. The columns that supported the balconies were wrapped with living vines and white flowers. There were already many people and monsters all around but it was not crowded or overwhelming.

"This is the main floor," Pixie explained over the waltz music that was currently playing from instruments off in the corner that were playing themselves in front of a massive pipe organ. "Everyone mingles and dances here, as you can see. Under the balconies are several tables of food and drinks. If you would like to sit or rest for a bit, then head upstairs to the balconies. They have tables and chairs, and the lighting is less intense. The Princess and the King of Vampires are with their assistants over there."

They followed his pointing claw to see a raised area on the other side of the room where a large white throne was centered. In it sat Brooke, looking lovely and polite with her hands folded neatly on her lap. From what they could see, she was wearing a dark blue ballgown that was well-fitting on her torso and fanned out with layers at the bottom, giving it the look of some kind of dark flower. It was trimmed and laced with black. Somehow, it paired rather well with her large red feathered wings which were out on display, folded comfortably behind her.

On her left was Lucy, wearing a silky blue dress that matched her eyes and complimented her silvery hair, still with her golden necklace around her neck. On Brooke's other side, sitting in an equally fancy chair, was a pompous man in a gray tailcoat and pants with long silver hair and matching white eyes. On his side stood a young man with side-swept blonde hair wearing a similar outfit. Lucy and the blonde-haired man appeared to be surveying everything instead of engaging in the conversation that Brooke and the King were having.

"Wow," Darren stared. "Last time she had to wear a dress she didn't look that content with it."

"Remember," Pixie told them. "Do not allow the vampires to discover that you are humans. The werewolf scent should last through the night, but it would be best not to let any of them too close. And mind what you say, vampires are naturally suspicious and easily offended."

He left with the other pygmy dragons to do service work, leaving the boys to fend for themselves.

"Okay," Stan breathed. "We're surrounded by monsters and predators that feed off of humans… Great."

"Hey," Darren shrugged. "You agreed to come."

Stan and Kyle were not wearing masks but had certainly followed the formal attire rule. Darren, on the other hand, was sporting an outfit and mask similar to that of the phantom from Phantom of the Opera. Many other monsters were not wearing masks, while others did.

"Anyways," Darren said. "My first stop is the food."

Stan and Kyle made to follow him. "Hey, Kenny," Stan said. "You coming with us?"

Kenny was staring distractedly across the room and didn't respond, so he shrugged and left without him. It was only when he caught a glimpse of something white in the corner of his eye that Kenny broke his gaze free. Sitting behind a column and staring directly at him was the ghostly white fox he had seen a few days before. It watched him unblinkingly with solid white eyes.

Kenny tilted his head a little and glanced around before making his way over to the spirit. As he got nearer, its ears pricked and it bowed. Unsure, he bowed back. The fox twitched its tail with amusement and blinked slowly at him.

"_You hide your face and cover your scent, but I still recognize you."_

He flinched and looked around. The voice seemed to be in his head. "Are…are YOU talking to me?"

It blinked again. _"I am. Are you listening?"_

"Yes?"

"_I recognize your soul. It is like mine."_

He suddenly noticed the faint blue tint around the spectral white fox. "Why did you bow to me? Now, and that other time."

It tilted its head. _"Why, because you are a prince, of course!"_

He almost laughed but caught himself. "I'm not a prince. You're mixing me up with someone else."

It shook its head. _"Never! You are a prince. Or…at least, you will be. By title though, and not blood."_

"What are you talking about? That's ridiculous."

"What is?"

He jumped and turned to find a tall handsome man beside him. He recognized the human form of Lucy's father, Sith.

"Who are you talking to over here?"

"Huh?" Kenny looked back to find that the fox was gone. "There was… Never mind."

"Seeing spirits?" Sith smiled.

"Am I?"

"Perhaps. Spirit guides, as they are often called, are spectral animals from the Nether that follow a certain person around to look after them. Not everyone has one, and those who do usually never meet theirs. Since you did not know that, I can assume that you are one of the Princess's human friends?"

"Oh, yeah. Kenny."

"Ah, yes, I remember." Sith nodded. "At first, I thought you were a werewolf from my pack. They must have really doused you with his fur."

"Yeah, they made me sit in a barrel of fur for like an hour!"

He laughed. "Well, don't slip up and let that hour go to waste! Say, do you plan to ask the Princess to dance?"

He blushed under his mask and looked away. "I-I don't know. I don't really get the dances. I mean, there's one that I practiced a lot, but I don't think I got it right."

"Mm," Sith nodded. "Lucky for you, with that mask and cover scent, very few will know who you are. So, if you do mess up, it won't matter!"

Despite his gruff appearance, Sith was a rather friendly and cheerful man. Kenny smiled but quickly remembered that he wouldn't be able to see it with the mask. "Thanks," he said.

"Of course!" Sith smiled. "Now, if you'll excuse me."

.

"So," the Vampire King said as he surveyed the crowd. "I hear that you have been taking up residence in the human world."

Brooke refrained from looking at him, but she could tell that he was smiling his smug, false smile. "Yes," she replied with a similar air of mock politeness. "The Nightmares are still a threat, but they have trouble navigating the human world."

"I see…" he side-eyed her. "You've decided to lead them away from the Nether and into my world?"

"The mortal realm does not have a defined owner or ruler," she jabbed indirectly. "So the Nightmares aren't concerned with it."

"Yet," he muttered darkly.

Brooke said nothing but noticed Lucy inhale deeply at his response. "How are the clans?" Brooke turned to look at him now, smiling in a friendly manner.

"They are well," he leaned back and swapped which leg was crossed over the other. "They are prospering better than ever. Would be a shame if Nightmares came and ruined it all, yes?"

"It would be," she continued to smile as she turned her gaze back to the dancing.

She didn't mind vampires, but it was always so uneasy and annoying to deal with their leader, Erin Vault. He was the incarnation of smugness and snide remarks. She much preferred his assistant, because he never spoke. It was difficult to hold back her sarcastic responses, but she managed to do so with great unseen effort. As tiring as the requests for dances were, she was grateful that she could not deny any as it gave her an excuse to get away from him for a while.

.

Stan had gone off to mingle safely around Billi the wendigo as the night wore on, finding him to be highly entertaining and fun, leaving Kyle and Darren at the tables of food. Situated in the center of all the tables was a huge fancy glass bowl of red liquid, from which Darren had just finished his seventh glass.

"You're some odd fellows," a vampire boy just barely taller than them had approached them. "You've been hanging around this spot the whole night."

"Are you British?" Darren asked.

He smirked. "Welsh. And you? You smell like werewolves. What pack are you from?"

"Pack?" Kyle and Darren exchanged worried looks. "Uh," Kyle said. "We're from…the pack that lives in the Woods of No Return."

"Ah," he nodded. "The Misty Wood Pack. So, you must know the Princess's advisor, Lucy?"

"Yeah!" he said. "Uh, y-yeah. She's a…friend."

He eyed them critically. "From the stories I've heard, I always thought beasts like that would only raise offspring with promise. Then again, they're not at all like vampires."

"What do you mean?" Darren asked, feeling offended.

"If you were vampires, you would have been abandoned long ago. It only takes one weakling to bring the entire clan down. I can't believe they let runts like you two leave the forest, much less attend the Blood Ball. Then again, werewolves are nothing like the stories humans tell to frighten their children at night. Just a bunch of big dogs."

"Well," Kyle said. "_Then again_, werewolves aren't snooty jerks who leave their kids behind for being weak."

"They should," he retorted. "Then perhaps they could actually _earn_ that reputation they hold."

"Yeah," Darren said loudly, sensing Kyle's rising temper. "Well, we gotta go. I, uh, have to pee." He pulled Kyle along. "I really do have to pee," he muttered as they left.

For once, he was relieved to see Charles and Lamar. The brothers were fully out of the ground and balancing platters of snacks atop their heads as they walked around to offer them to guests.

"Heyyyyy!" Lamar said as he noticed them.

"Heeeyyyyyyyy!" Charles said. "Want a cucumber sandwich?"

"Or a chocolate turtle?"

"Uh, later," Darren said but took a turtle anyway. "Where the heck's the bathroom? I drank like seven glasses of that punch and I gotta go!"

"Punch?" Lamar looked confused.

"What punch?" Charles asked.

"The punch over there." He pointed. "In the giant punch bowl."

"Ohhhhhhh," the banshees said together.

"That's not punch," Lamar told him.

"It's not?"

"No!" he smiled. "It's blood!"

"With added sugar!" Charles said.

"Blood?"

"Human blood," Charles nodded a little, careful not to disturb the platter on his head. "We accidentally dropped a whole bag of sugar in it earlier before the party."

"Hm, that explains the coppery aftertaste," Darren said. "Well, now I have to pee AND throw up. Please tell me where the bathroom is."

"Go out the door you came from," Lamar said. "Down the hall, take a left, and the bathroom is the second door on the right."

.

Brooke was more than happy to see someone making their way over to her from the crowd. Erin Vault had just gotten into a long-winded explanation about the human over-population in China, and she was very much uninterested.

"Ah," she interrupted him. "Another requester."

The person stopped at the bottom of the three steps and seemed to hesitate, glancing at the King. Lucy shifted in her seat, looking mildly surprised, then suddenly remembered that Brooke was unaware of who this person was under the skull mask and dark hood. They all watched the newcomer curiously, the Princess looking the most enthused about his arrival.

He stepped halfway up the steps and stopped to bow lowly to the Princess, holding a hand out to her.

Lucy held her breath, looking quite surprised.

"He doesn't speak?" Vault raised an eyebrow.

Brooke surveyed the requester briefly before extending her hand to place it lightly in his, allowing him to gently pull her to her feet and lead her away. She was staring intently at his blue eyes as they stopped on the dancefloor then placed her free hand on his shoulder as he hesitantly pressed a hand to her back and moved closer. She was surprised to hear the beginning of Koi's Whisk starting to play, and even more surprised when the person smoothly pulled her into the fast-paced dance without stumbling.

It was rare that anyone could properly preform the dance, and even rarer that anyone would dare to preform such a complicated waltz with the Princess, considering how everyone liked to stop and watch when the Princess was asked to dance. She did notice him briefly stumble on one of the turns, almost stepping on his own foot. She smiled sweetly at the frightened look in his eyes, which seemed to make him feel better. He did pretty well the rest of the four-minute-long song, which she was very pleased about.

"Why haven't you introduced yourself?" she asked after the song had ended.

There was a hint of worry or fear in the blue eyes.

She glanced back at the raised area where the thrones were; the Vampire King was discussing something with Sith. She turned back to the boy and smiled as she took his hand and began to lead him through the crowd. They exited through a side door, the gargoyles posted on either side merely glancing at them, then hurried down the dark hall. The only light was the red moonlight shining in through the windows.

She stopped at the end of the hall where there was a large set of arch doors with no door handles. Both doors, however, did have a golden lion head baring their fangs and holding large rings. She looked up at them then turned to face the boy.

"I've never let anyone in here," she told him. "Do you want to see?"

He nodded slowly. As far as he knew, she believed him to be a total stranger. So, why was she letting him in to see something she never showed anyone else? He felt odd as she released his hand.

She reached up and used the doorknocker, knocking three times with it. In response, the lion heads' eyes lit up with a golden light and seemed to stare down at them for a moment before the doors slowly opened outward. She sent a quick smile back at him before stepping through the doors.

He followed, finding himself outside in some kind of large garden. The walls were surrounded with beautiful trees like cherry blossom, weeping willow, dogwood, birch, and several other types he couldn't name. There was ankle-high grass and many flowers growing all around from the ground, in pots, or on bushes. In the center of the garden was a large stone fountain that moss was allowed to grow on, and beyond the fountain he could see a wall of rose bushes. Everything was cast with an odd but lovely shade of pale red from the blood moon high above them.

After he had finished gawking at the scene, he hurried to catch up to the Princess who had gone over to the fountain. The water appeared pink in the moonlight, and peering over the edge he could see several large koi swimming slowly in the base. He joined her as she sat on the edge of the base, feeling nervous as she moved closer. There was a noticeable but comfortable heat emanating from her wings.

There was a long silence where they only heard the light splashing of the fountain behind them and the relaxed chirping of crickets hiding somewhere in the grass. "You know," she said after a minute, "I've really never let anyone in here before. Only a few of my servants are allowed to come and tend to the plants and animals. But you seem nice." She was staring out across the garden. "I did think about bringing someone else here. I feel like I've gotten too close to him, though."

He looked at her curiously. He was quite positive that she was talking about him, but he's not sure how that made him feel yet.

"Normally, it'd be fine," she continued. "But I don't want to get him, or anyone else, involved in my problems. You know? I'm already dangerous enough since I can't fully control my powers. Then, there's the whole Nightmare thing. They'll find me eventually. Their king will come back eventually, too. I barely managed to seal him away without getting myself destroyed like my – I'm afraid I'll end up hurting that person either way. Either by my lack of control or by getting myself killed." She looked at her feet. "Then I'd hurt everyone… I don't know what to do."

He wished he had the answer.

There was another long silence before she spoke again. "You know, Kenny, you're a lot cuter without your face covered up."

It took him a moment before he realized what she had said, then he flinched so hard that he almost fell into the fountain before she caught him with a wing. "You knew the whole time?!"

She giggled. "No. Not at first. But I decided to look at your soul while we were dancing. Of course, I recognized it."

"Why didn't you just say so, then?" He removed the mask and pulled his hood down.

"Why didn't you?"

"I…I was scared."

"You don't have to be afraid of me," she said quietly.

"No," he admitted. "But you're afraid. Of a lot of things, it seems."

She hummed and hopped down from the fountain and began to walk away. He followed her over to the wall of roses where she led him through a gap and into a dark thorny maze.

"I'd like to be closer to you," he said quietly.

She stopped suddenly and turned around, wrapping a wing behind him and pulling him close while using the other to block the small beam of red moonlight that was breaking through the thorns. He held his breath. He could just barely make her eyes out in the darkness, the heat from her wings making him feel excited for some reason. He let out a tiny grunt of surprise as he felt her push up against him and slide her hands around his waist; he could feel the tip of her nose lightly touching his.

"How close are you planning on getting before you end up getting hurt?" Her voice was quiet and stern all of a sudden.

"I think I'm already past that point," he breathed shakily. He could not describe the intense mixed feeling of anxiety and ecstasy he was feeling at that moment. He just hoped his body wouldn't give him away. His legs almost gave out beneath him as she ran her hands up his sides, stopping halfway, then planted a long, soft kiss on his cheek that made his heart flutter.

"Then you should go back," she said in his ear before stepping away from him.

He shivered. Perhaps she had meant it to sound colder than it did. However, it only sounded sad and made him want to hold her longer.

.

Darren had just gotten back from the bathroom. It turned out that Charles and Lamar forgot to mention to him that the particular hallway where the bathrooms were located had a tendency to change when you left the bathroom. He ended up wandering, lost, for about an hour before he finally ran into a soul that happily guided him back to the ballroom. He had just reached Kyle at the food tables when Lucy approached them looking flustered.

"Have you seen the Princess anywhere?" she demanded.

"No," he replied. Kyle shook his head. "Why?" Darren asked. "Wasn't she talking with that vampire king?"

"Yes, well, she went to dance with someone and three songs later, she hasn't returned." She glanced around. "You're certain you haven't seen her? What about Kenneth?"

"They're both missing?" Darren smirked. "Okay, calm down. I'll go look for them, so you can relax."

"Relax?!" she looked offended.

"Yes," he said firmly. "I'll find them, I promise. Now, you stay here and chill out." He left, but not before sending Kyle a sly look.

Lucy shifted uncomfortably and continued to glance around. "What is she thinking?" she hissed between her teeth. "Leaving me to entertain the Vampire King. I can barely refrain from telling that pompous fool to stuff it in his –" she cleared her throat and smoothed her dress. "Oh dear."

"Maybe you _should _relax," Kyle told her as kindly as he could without sounding rude. "Um, have you ever actually…participated in an event? Like, danced or something?"

"I – Well, no. I suppose I have not. But I'm here to make sure things go as planned, not to participate in games and activities."

"Is that a rule or something?"

"Er, well, no…"

"Lucy," he took in a deep breath. "How about, instead of worrying so much, you have some fun for once?" He hesitated then held his hand out. "The next song is Starlight Waltz, right? Do you…want to dance?"

She stared, amazed, at him then looked down at his hand. It was a long moment before she decided and took his hand. "Y-Yes. I would."

He swallowed. "Okay."

The music was lovely and the dance was close. Starting slow, working in a few turns now and then, and ending with a big twirl and pulling back close to each other.

Lucy blushed and looked down. "You…seem to have retained the steps perfectly."

"Honestly, it's the only song I bothered learning the steps to."

She couldn't help but laugh.

He smiled. "Um, Lucy?"

"Yes?"

"I…I like you."

She cocked her head to the side, looking a tad confused. "I like you, too?"

He laughed a little. "Uhm, no, Lucy. I _really_ like you. Like, ever since I met you."

"It hasn't been that long," she tried to hide her reddening face by turning to look at something else.

"I-I know," he said. "I'm just saying. I think you're perfect."

She scoffed. "If only."

He smiled and stepped closer. "You are. Uh, would you…mind if I kissed you?"

"…Not at all."

.

"There you are!" Darren had encountered Brooke and Kenny in one of the halls. "What the hell are you two doing? Lucy about had a heart attack looking for you, Brooke!"

"Sorry," she said. "We were just on our way back."

He narrowed his eyes at them. "What were you doing? Actually, I don't wanna know. I've had the WORST night!"

**To be continued…**

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**I laughed a lot re-reading this. Lol. Lots of fluffy cute shit here that makes me laugh. Dunno why that kinda stuff makes me laugh. You should see me when I see it in animes haha**


	38. Chapter 38: Coming Home

**Surprise! You get not one, but TWO chapters at once! My apology for taking so long. Anyway, this one has more of Riley and Jake! I love writing these. They could be a whole other story.**

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The first few days back in South Park after the Blood Ball were a bit awkward. Kenny had wanted to and tried several times to further discuss with Brooke what had been said in the castle garden. But every time he brought it up in any way, she would smile sadly and change the subject. It was getting to be frustrating, because he had so much he wanted to say but she just wouldn't listen. If he tried to keep pestering her about it, she would end up telling him that he "should go back" before she walked away from him.

He was leering across the lunch table at Kyle sitting very close beside Lucy. He was glad that the two of them were together now and open about their relationship, but he was also incredibly envious. In fact, he didn't even realize how he had been looking at them until it was pointed out.

Cartman had returned to school, still with casts and braces on his limbs, and had to be pushed around in a wheelchair. Friendly little Butters was more than happy to push the wheelchair for him. Riley was not.

"Yo, Kenny," Cartman said. "What's that face about? Have you finally realized how evil Jews are?"

"What?" he looked at him. "Wha- No, asshole. What are you talking about?"

Clyde was the one who replied. "You were staring at Kyle like you wanna kill him or something."

"No I wasn't."

"Uh, yeah, you were."

Kyle shot Kenny a look. "What the hell, man?"

"I didn't mean to!" he said defensively. "I didn't even know!"

"He's being honest, you know." Lucy defended him. "Though, you're obviously bothered about something. What is it?"

"I don't want to talk about it." He placed his elbow on the table and plopped his head into his hand.

Brooke had actually not joined them for lunch that day. Instead, for some reason, she had decided to sit at a table with Tweek on the other side of the cafeteria. Craig and Token were also there, but she appeared to only be speaking with Tweek about something. After school, she had disappeared somewhere.

Kenny split from the group to walk home by himself. He could feel something like anxiety bubbling up within him as he neared the red house where Brooke lived. He stopped on the sidewalk and turned to face the door. He glanced up at the window to her room; it was hard to tell in the daylight, but it looked like the light was on. After a long time standing there, he decided to walk over and knock on the door.

It wasn't long before someone opened it. Trent had apparently been watching TV in the living room, so he was the one who answered the door. The moment Kenny saw him, he felt the instinct to flee, but held his ground instead and tried not to look too surprised.

Trent crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. "What?" There was an obvious hint of hostility in his tone, but he seemed a lot less angry than Kenny remembered.

"I-" He cleared his throat, hating himself for his voice cracking. "Uhm, is Brooke here?"

"Yes." He stated flatly then looked away at something. "I think she's got visitors already. She was talking to someone in her room. Sounded like more than one." He pushed himself from the doorframe and went back inside, leaving the door open for Kenny. "I thought you were already here," he said as he sat on the couch.

"Huh?"

He glanced briefly at Kenny. "I passed by her room earlier to go to the bathroom. Pretty sure I heard her say your name, so I just assumed you were here and she was talking to you." He shrugged. "Guess she was just talking _about _you."

Kenny blinked at him then turned his head to gaze worriedly up the stairs for a minute before ascending them and stopping at her door. He could hear voices on the other side, hers and two others, but he couldn't make out what anyone was saying until one raised its voice.

"Quit standin' around and get in here!"

He tensed but opened the door and stepped inside. Four pairs of eyes had turned to gaze at him, Brooke's dark red eyes and the glowing orbs that were the three banshees' eyes. Brooke was sitting on the side of her bed with Joey curled behind her, his head resting by her hip, and Charles and Lamar were laying comfortably on the carpet floor like dogs.

"What, are you trying to eavesdrop or something?" Charles asked, folding his hands over each other.

"N-No! I just came to hang out. I didn't realize you guys were here."

"You hang out a lot with the Princess," Lamar remarked. "Almost as much as me and Charles!"

Brooke watched Kenny closely, noticing him shift his feet awkwardly. "Come here," she said and held a hand out to gesture at him to come closer. He looked unsure but moved between Charles and Lamar to get to the bed, stopping a few inches in front of her. She was amused by the flare in his soul when she pushed her hand into his hood to comb her fingers through his hair. The banshees' tails flicked with silent amusement as well.

Kenny stared up at her, suddenly forgetting about the other people in the room. She wouldn't listen or speak to him about what he really wanted to talk about, but what would she say or do if he started being more intimate? Would she get mad at him? Was it worth risking? He couldn't help it; it was so hard to hide it now. He leaned forward and hugged her waist, hiding his face against her midriff. He was fully expecting her to say something about it or scold him, so he was pleasantly surprised when he felt her place a hand on his neck and stroke his back with the other. He breathed and closed his eyes, relaxing and placing his weight against her and listening to the banshees pick their conversation back up. Kenny was grateful that none of them bothered to question or even remark on his action.

"So, as I was saying," Charles said. "The kid comes up to us and asks us where the bathroom is, right? Says he drank a lot of punch. What punch? Okay, turns out he didn't know that the main beverage was Blood Sugar that night."

"He looked like he was gonna hurl after finding out," Lamar nodded.

"Ignorance is bliss," Joey smiled, his tail tip flicking with amusement.

"Yeah," Charles said. "At least no one complained about it being _too _sweet. Magic can do a lot of stuff, but apparently it can't separate sugar from blood."

"At least we got the bag out."

"Ha-ha, yeah!" Charles looked frightened all of a sudden. "I couldn't leave evidence behind! Lucy or Spike would've had my tail if they found out! And I like my tail…"

As funny as the conversation was, Kenny soon found himself dozing off in the girl's lap. Her presence and warmth combined with the slow, firm strokes along his back made him feel completely relaxed and content. For a moment he thought she was using her strange power over souls to make him feel that way, but it was a noticeably different feeling of relaxation. He enjoyed it so much more this way.

**…**

All throughout school on Friday, Riley kept receiving phone calls from a number he only now recognized because it had called him multiple times that day. The first time, it left a voicemail, but Riley was not able to check it until recess. He glanced around for teachers then went over to his old spot in the shadow of the building; it was quieter there.

"Hello," the voicemail said. It was a man's voice that Riley did not recognize. "This is Doctor Vincent from Hell's Pass Hospital…"

Riley made a face at the name of the hospital.

"I'm calling to speak to you about Jacob Blanchard, who was admitted this morning at eight-fifteen. It's rather urgent. If you would, give us a call back at –"

Riley hurriedly dialed the number. It rang twice before a woman answered. "Yeah," Riley said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "Um, I'm calling back about Jake – Jacob Blanchard."

"Oh, yes. Please hold while I transfer you to Doctor Vincent."

Riley shot a quick glance over his shoulder as he waited, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Hello," the man's voice answered. "Is this Riley?"

"Yes! Er, y-yes."

"Hello, this is Doctor Vincent. Jacob was admitted this morning in a pretty bad state. He claims he has no family members to contact and gave us this number instead. Are you related?"

"N-No… He's an orphan. We're just friends."

"I see. Well, we ran quite a few tests… It seems Jacob has a pretty rapidly developing case of lung cancer. It's already spread to several other parts of the body."

Riley stiffened.

"Are you sure there's no one else we can contact about him? No adults?"

"No. But I'll – I'll be there soon."

After hanging-up with the doctor, Riley hurried over to where Lucy was sitting and writing something. She looked a bit concerned at his expression. "Is something the matter?"

"Yes," he said. "Um, my – my friend, Jake is in the hospital. I need to go there, right now."

"Oh dear," she closed her notebook and stood up. "Hm, I suppose we could contact our, er, 'not-parents' as Brooke calls them, and have them take you there. I'm sure they would if you explained. I'd like to go as well. Come on, let's go to the office."

Riley was shaking a little as they entered the building to head for the new principal's office. Luckily, although he could be a bit intense, PC Principal was rather reasonable. He was doing paperwork at his desk when they entered.

"Ah, Lucy and Riley," he looked up at them and folded his hands together. He had a tendency to learn and remember every student's name. "How can I help you?"

Riley was suddenly too nervous to talk anymore, so Lucy was the one who answered.

"Hello, sir. We have a bit of a…family emergency. May we contact our parents, please?"

"Certainly."

.

After the parents had agreed to come get them, PC Principal allowed them to remain in his office after noticing how shaken Riley was. Lucy briefly left to go inform Brooke of the situation and tell her that the two of them would be leaving before returning to wait with Riley. It was only about ten minutes or so before the parents arrived to pick them up.

The hospital was located on the opposite side of town, leaving Riley time to come up with a bunch of questions on the way. Lucy noticed him staring unfocusedly out the window and clutching his pants, so she reached over to hold his hand in an attempt to comfort him. It helped a little, as it brought him back and he turned to look at her with green eyes full of worry.

The parents accompanied them inside the hospital all the way to the room where the doctor met them before they opened the door. "Ah," he said. "You must be Riley. And these must be your parents?"

"Adopted…uh, y-yeah. This is…my sister."

"Well," Doctor Vincent said. "Before you go in, I have to tell you. He's not doing so good. He's very weak and frail, and he can't really stand or walk anymore. He has frequent fits of coughing, during which a bit of blood may come up, and is in a lot of pain. We're not sure exactly how much longer he's got. Could be a few months, weeks, or even hours. There isn't really anything we can do at this point, and it doesn't help that he seems to have given up."

Lucy eyed the doctor incredulously. "What exactly is wrong with him?"

"Lung cancer. A very rapidly developing case."

"Cancer…" she mused. "Yes, the disease that humans seem to think there is no cure."

"There really isn't, especially not at this stage. Normally, we could try to eradicate the cancer cells with treatment such as chemotherapy."

"Which is?"

"Blasting it with powerful rays of radiation."

She looked beside herself.

"But, as I said, it's far too advanced at this point for any of that to work."

"Ridiculous," Lucy muttered.

"We'll wait out here for you," their mother told them. "Take your time."

Lucy joined Riley and entered the room.

Jake was sitting in a wheelchair on the other side of the room and facing the window. He didn't have his signature leather coat on and there was a thick blanket placed on his lap. He slowly looked over at them as they entered, smiling a little before turning back to the window.

"Hey, Riles." He looked very sickly and tired, much different from the last time Riley had seen him, which was not long ago. Jake's curly brown hair was unkempt and dirty, he was very thin, and he had dark circles under his eyes, giving him an almost hollow look.

"Jake." Riley went over to him, stopping just a few feet away. Even considering the way that he lived, he had never seen Jake look so unkempt and tired. "What happened?"

He shrugged, but he was so weak that it was barely noticeable. "Got sick. Cigarettes, maybe? Been coughin' for a while, really bad. Got worse. Started coughin' up blood and feelin' really dizzy and tired. Haven't been eatin' much, either."

"Why?"

"Can't." he sounded out of breath.

"Well, why didn't you say something?!" Riley snapped. "If you'd have come here earlier –"

"Nah. Wouldn't've mattered."

"Wha- H-How did you get here, anyway?"

"I don't know. I was going to meet up with a client, but I just couldn't walk anymore. I fell, then next thing I know, I'm in this joint and they're askin' me questions and who I live with. I just gave 'em your number so they'd leave me alone. They won't let me leave. Tried to put something in my nose, somethin' about oxygen, but I kept pulling it off 'cause it was annoying."

"You should let them put it," Riley told him.

"What's the point?"

"What?"

"I'm sure they told you, yeah? I'm dying anyways, so why bother? I don't know why they don't just let me go."

"They won't let you go because they're trying to help you!"

"They can't though." He continued to gaze absently out the window. "It's a waste of time."

Riley was beginning to feel angry and frustrated. "You're not a waste of time!"

"Obviously, I AM," Jake leered over at him. "My parents sure thought I was! The kids that took me in sure thought so, because they left, too. I don't know why I ever bothered tryin' to survive in the first place. Even the world thinks I'm a waste of time, 'cause it's been tryin' to kill me for years." He starting coughing painfully.

"Jake," Riley stepped closer.

"What do you care?!" Jake managed to choke out. "You left too! You didn't even THINK about me!" His coughing fit became more violent and he choked blood out in his hand before he managed to catch and steady his breathing.

Riley almost stumbled over his feet as he quickly stepped back from him. So, it was true. Jake felt hurt and abandoned by him, too. "No, Jake I – I didn't –"

"Shut up!"

There was a tense silence around the room. Jake slowly leaned back in the wheelchair and turned back to the window.

"I told you," he said quietly, as though it was too difficult to speak anymore. "I only gave 'em your number so they'd leave me alone. It was all I had for 'em. …I just wanna be alone."

"No, you don't." Riley said calmly. "You never did. You better not give up, damn it. We'll figure it out."

Jake did not respond or react in any way.

"…I'll be back tomorrow. Whether you want me to or not." He waited a minute, hoping for some kind of reaction, but got nothing, then went over to Lucy and the two of them left.

The car ride back was silent. The parents ended up just bringing them home instead of back to school, as there were only about two hours left of school anyway. When they got back, Riley went up to his room to lay on his bed, turning onto his stomach and wrapping his arms around the pillow. Lucy had followed him.

She reached over and stroked his back. "Riley," she said softly. "I've already been studying these things humans refer to as cancer. I…think I might be able to help Jacob."

He turned over to face her.

"I would need to have him stay here, though. With us. That way, it would be much easier to observe and test. Of course, I can't do anything if he doesn't want… If you can convince him not to give up and to come here, then… Well, it would be up to the Princess in the end, but we could easily have the not-parents adopt him. Though, I do wonder how many times their brains can be manipulated before they become like soup…"

"I thought you didn't like having the Royal Guard do unnecessary stuff like that?"

"Yes, well, that poor boy is all alone and very hurt. And I don't just mean physically. He must have serious trauma, and it's very obvious that his heart hurts, too. I…well, I want to help him, and I think that I can, too. You said that you will be going back tomorrow, right? Have Brooke go with you. I'm sure she will agree to have him come live here; you know how she is. Perhaps she can help convince him?"

"You really think you can find a cure for cancer?"

"If I can't, then I can certainly make one," she huffed then blushed a little. "Er, n-not to sound pompous or anything."

.

The next day, Brooke and Riley had the parents drive them over to the hospital so that they could visit Jake. In just a day, the boy had already gotten worse. He was laying in the bed, on his side and facing the other way, and he had his right arm stretched out in front of himself. There was an IV in his right arm and an oxygen mask on his face with a few other things attached to the boy. The heartbeat monitor made Riley feel anxious.

Both of them had gone around the bed to see his face. They thought he was asleep at first, but he opened his eyes halfway at the sounds. Riley was afraid that Jake would be mad, but he actually looked a little relieved when he realized who they were.

"…Hey." He breathed.

"Hey Jake," Riley said quietly.

Brooke looked immensely upset upon seeing Jake and leaned against the side of the bed to reach over and stroke his face. He closed his eyes and sighed, seeming to enjoy the touch. "You poor thing," she said as she rested her head on the bed. "You've given up?"

He opened his eyes a little but did not answer.

She continued to softly stroke his cheek. "Why don't you come with me instead?"

Riley wondered how this was going to play out. Brooke was the Angel of Death, daughter of the Grim Reaper. Was she offering to let him stay with them, or was she offering to take and keep his soul? No, he knew her better than that by now. She was being delicate and sweet, just like she had been when Riley had shown up to their house that night.

"Jake." Riley placed his hand in his. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you alone. I'm sorry that I never realized how important you are to me, and that we've been friends all along. You were always there for me. Always letting me stay at your place and looking after me when I was hurt." He wiped at the tears forming in his eyes. "I'm sorry I'm such a bad friend. But it's my turn to be there for you. I will never let you feel alone, ever again. Just…don't give up. Don't leave me…"

Brooke carefully wiped away the tear that was running along Jake's face. "Jake. Lucy and I want to help you. Um, I'll have to explain a bunch of stuff to you, but if you want, you can come stay with us and Riley. Riley told me that you would refuse every time he offered, but we really want you to come. Lucy really thinks she can help you. Meanwhile, we'd all love to give you lots of attention and love." She smiled. "I like to coddle Riley all the time!"

"You're afraid of being abandoned," Riley said. "I promise, I'll never leave you behind again. And I know Brooke won't." He chuckled a bit. "She's serious about the coddling thing."

Jake weakly curled his fingers around Riley's hand. He looked worried but was blushing a little. "Okay…I…I want to go with you."

Brooke smiled brighter and sat up. "Good! Lucy and I will have things settled by tomorrow I'm sure. I'll call her now, and when I get back, I have a lot of weird stuff to explain to you." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You don't have to worry about anything, now. We'll take good care of you." She left to go call Lucy.

Riley spent the rest of the day at Jake's side. Even though Jake looked very tired and ill, Riley could tell that he wanted to laugh sometimes as Brooke explained, in a very hearty, funny way, about herself, Lucy, and all the Nether stuff. He was so happy to see a bit of light return to Jake's eyes, and was forever grateful to the girls for everything they've ever done for him and for Jake and everything he was sure they would do later.

Later in the evening, Brooke left with the parents to get things settled at home while Riley remained at the hospital with Jake. Riley was very attentive towards him and very eager to do things for him, though at the moment Jake really just wanted to sleep. After a while, as the sunlight faded, Riley climbed into the bed beside him, careful not to disturb him, and went to sleep like that.

The next morning, Riley woke with a start as something clamped his nose and made him choke on air. He cringed and opened his eyes to see Jake turned over facing him, a smirk on his tired face.

"I hate when you do that," Riley groaned and placed his head back down.

Jake shifted oddly, trying to move closer. Riley noticed and moved to meet him, allowing him to place his forehead against his shoulder. It was a bit strange. He had never known Jake to be the cuddly type, not that he minded. Riley was more than happy to give him the affection and comfort he wanted. He deserved it, in Riley's eyes. Riley smiled and hugged him. He loved Jake. Not in the way that he loved Butters, he didn't think, but he loved him very much. In fact, he suddenly realized that he loved all of them. Brooke and Lucy meant the world to him, and he was already becoming quite attached to Trent, too, who had become a bit more docile lately.

Around ten, Brooke had returned with the parents to retrieve the boys. Jake was removed from all of the machinery, aside from a portable oxygen tank and mask, and wheeled out to the car. Just getting in and out of the wheelchair was enough to completely exhaust the boy. Brooke had insisted on sitting between the boys so that she could coddle Jake, just as Riley knew she would. Though, Jake was obviously glad to lean against her during the ride, and he didn't mind the attention.

When they got home, Brooke explained to them that, even though they have an extra bedroom, they decided to have Jake share Riley's room. That way, there would be someone with him just in case. And if Riley left to sleep at Butters', the room was just across from Brooke's. They sat Jake in a wheelchair and wheeled him inside, carefully bringing him up the stairs to the room.

There was already a second bed placed on the other side across from Riley's with a few hospital machines standing next to it. Lucy was already in the room, looking over the machines.

"Oh," she turned to them as they entered. "Hello Jake," she smiled at him. "We'll have you put back on an IV for now, but I'm hoping to have you eating and drinking on your own again soon. I'm going to draw a small sample of blood from you now, if that's all right? I'd like to get started as soon as possible with some tests. I'll leave you to rest for the rest of today though before pestering you with too much."

"Okay," he said.

After obtaining a sample of blood, Lucy assisted in settling Jake into his new bed and hooking him up to the machines before smiling sweetly at him and leaving the room.

"Let any of us know if you need anything," Brooke told him. She smiled as he let out a contented sigh and closed his eyes. "Welcome to the family, Jake."

**To be continued…**


End file.
